Guest guest Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Hi Akiko, My daughter (15) had alot of rituals that were connected to an idea similar to what you daughter stated. That if she did not do a ritual properly the rest of the day would be ruined, and that would extend into next day and foward indefinitely, it was like an " everything is doomed forever " idea. For many years her most significant defining phrase was " everything will be ruined " of course, stated with anger or panic. I think this is a difficult obsession to overcome b/c it is all too easy to attribute any bad thing happening to the fact that the riutal hours earlier or a day earlier or even further back was not followed properly, and thus caused this bad thing. It is very superstitious. The idea of an exposure resulting in indefinite doom can be so scary that the child will not attempt it, or if she does (maybe an accidental exposure or incidental to circumstances) she engages in additional rituals to fix the doubts related to the exposure. I think my daughter could not relax her beleifs much at all until she found a medication that was helpful, and even so she still has alot of superstitious behaviors, it is just milder. Has your daughter tried medication? nancy grace , " scarlet_sea_butterfly " <hal57130@...> wrote: > > My daughter and I went out to a track and field last Sunday morning. We watched her > brotherfs races. It was good refreshment as shefd been homebound. There she used a > restroom in the stadium. (She never ever went into a public toilet in six years before her > inpatient experience three years ago.) Then she accidentally choked up the pipe with > bathroomtissue. (I would say it was inevitable.) Anyway she couldnft finish her ritual. She > got panicky. She cried and wanted to go back home asap. But we did not move. As we still > had her brotherfs run to watch. > Her distress was from her feeling or thought that she had not been cleaned. She thought > when she felt contaminated something bad would happen and her entire day would be > damned. She sobbed and said she could not make it. I told her that she could not get rid > of her thought. She did not have to do anything on her thought. Do not deal with anything > that she could not deal with. I watched the track patting her sometimes. She whimpered > for 30 minutes then settled. We went home. > That might be a sort of passive or accidental ERP. (She does not gain much through it.) In > that evening she spent more than 3hrs for toilet and bath, her routine. > She does not take intensive ERP. She just wants to complete her rituals. She does not try > to learn the fact that whether she finishes her compulsion or not everything would be just > fine. > Sometimes I feel myself am a bit compulsive convincing her to take the therapy. I must be > more tactful or more patient. > Everyday I learn my lesson. I cannot learn my daughterfs one. And she can learn only her > lesson. > Sorry for this long > AKIKO > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Hi Akiko, My daughter (15) had alot of rituals that were connected to an idea similar to what you daughter stated. That if she did not do a ritual properly the rest of the day would be ruined, and that would extend into next day and foward indefinitely, it was like an " everything is doomed forever " idea. For many years her most significant defining phrase was " everything will be ruined " of course, stated with anger or panic. I think this is a difficult obsession to overcome b/c it is all too easy to attribute any bad thing happening to the fact that the riutal hours earlier or a day earlier or even further back was not followed properly, and thus caused this bad thing. It is very superstitious. The idea of an exposure resulting in indefinite doom can be so scary that the child will not attempt it, or if she does (maybe an accidental exposure or incidental to circumstances) she engages in additional rituals to fix the doubts related to the exposure. I think my daughter could not relax her beleifs much at all until she found a medication that was helpful, and even so she still has alot of superstitious behaviors, it is just milder. Has your daughter tried medication? nancy grace , " scarlet_sea_butterfly " <hal57130@...> wrote: > > My daughter and I went out to a track and field last Sunday morning. We watched her > brotherfs races. It was good refreshment as shefd been homebound. There she used a > restroom in the stadium. (She never ever went into a public toilet in six years before her > inpatient experience three years ago.) Then she accidentally choked up the pipe with > bathroomtissue. (I would say it was inevitable.) Anyway she couldnft finish her ritual. She > got panicky. She cried and wanted to go back home asap. But we did not move. As we still > had her brotherfs run to watch. > Her distress was from her feeling or thought that she had not been cleaned. She thought > when she felt contaminated something bad would happen and her entire day would be > damned. She sobbed and said she could not make it. I told her that she could not get rid > of her thought. She did not have to do anything on her thought. Do not deal with anything > that she could not deal with. I watched the track patting her sometimes. She whimpered > for 30 minutes then settled. We went home. > That might be a sort of passive or accidental ERP. (She does not gain much through it.) In > that evening she spent more than 3hrs for toilet and bath, her routine. > She does not take intensive ERP. She just wants to complete her rituals. She does not try > to learn the fact that whether she finishes her compulsion or not everything would be just > fine. > Sometimes I feel myself am a bit compulsive convincing her to take the therapy. I must be > more tactful or more patient. > Everyday I learn my lesson. I cannot learn my daughterfs one. And she can learn only her > lesson. > Sorry for this long > AKIKO > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Akiko, You did great sticking it out at the track field and not giving in to your daughter's OCD. Even if you think it isn't working, you are modeling the right response to her OCD, so she can learn from you. Keep it up. --- scarlet_sea_butterfly <hal57130@...> wrote: > My daughter and I went out to a track and field last > Sunday morning. ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Autos new Car Finder tool. http://autos./carfinder/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Akiko, You did great sticking it out at the track field and not giving in to your daughter's OCD. Even if you think it isn't working, you are modeling the right response to her OCD, so she can learn from you. Keep it up. --- scarlet_sea_butterfly <hal57130@...> wrote: > My daughter and I went out to a track and field last > Sunday morning. ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Autos new Car Finder tool. http://autos./carfinder/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Thank you for your reply, I just do not want to be a enabler of my daughter's OCD. I used to be a " perfect " enabler and did feed her OCD almost every moment when I should not. We did not know anything about OCD. Now we are very lucky to find a pdoc. who does both prescription and therapy. We meet some people before and after the therapy when we take part in a support-g meeting supervised by that doctor. But you know my daughter never choose the therapy. She is not his client so far. I hope she will fiind some meaning or reason to choose therapy beyond her OCD. By the way I do not think I am qualified as her therapist. I once talked about the issue at the meeting. A professional therapist told us she did not want to be her son's ERP therapist even if she needed to be.@She said she rather would like to be being his mom. It sounded quite natural to me. AKIKO > > Akiko, > You did great sticking it out at the track field and > not giving in to your daughter's OCD. Even if you > think it isn't working, you are modeling the right > response to her OCD, so she can learn from you. > > Keep it up. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Thank you for your reply, I just do not want to be a enabler of my daughter's OCD. I used to be a " perfect " enabler and did feed her OCD almost every moment when I should not. We did not know anything about OCD. Now we are very lucky to find a pdoc. who does both prescription and therapy. We meet some people before and after the therapy when we take part in a support-g meeting supervised by that doctor. But you know my daughter never choose the therapy. She is not his client so far. I hope she will fiind some meaning or reason to choose therapy beyond her OCD. By the way I do not think I am qualified as her therapist. I once talked about the issue at the meeting. A professional therapist told us she did not want to be her son's ERP therapist even if she needed to be.@She said she rather would like to be being his mom. It sounded quite natural to me. AKIKO > > Akiko, > You did great sticking it out at the track field and > not giving in to your daughter's OCD. Even if you > think it isn't working, you are modeling the right > response to her OCD, so she can learn from you. > > Keep it up. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Hi Akiko, my daughter also made immediate strides fighting her ocd in a hospital setting. I think it was because the volunatry aspect (of performing or not performing rituals) was taken away, so if there is some scruploity and hyper-resonsibility about rituals, yet my dd was no longer " responsible " for carrying them out, b/c prevented by the supervised involuntary structure, she could just let it go. At least that is somethimg howmy daughter described it. Even now she says she would have to be in an enforced situation to give up some ritual, she cannot do it volunatarily as that would be bad, but force is acceptable! (Yet ERP wants to garner the partcipation and willingness of the client). Those are the twists and turns of ocd, seems such peverse logic sometimes. And shows you how what happens in one setting is not necessarily transferrable to another setting. nancy grace > > > > Hi Akiko, My daughter (15) had alot of rituals that were connected > > to an idea similar to what you daughter stated. That if she did not > > do a ritual properly the rest of the day would be ruined, and that > > would extend into next day and foward indefinitely, it was like > > an " everything is doomed forever " idea. For many years her most > > significant defining phrase was " everything will be ruined " of > > course, stated with anger or panic. I think this is a difficult > > obsession to overcome b/c it is all too easy to attribute any bad > > thing happening to the fact that the riutal hours earlier or a day > > earlier or even further back was not followed properly, and thus > > caused this bad thing. It is very superstitious. The idea of an > > exposure resulting in indefinite doom can be so scary that the child > > will not attempt it, or if she does (maybe an accidental exposure or > > incidental to circumstances) she engages in additional rituals to > > fix the doubts related to the exposure. I think my daughter could not > > relax her beleifs much at all until she found a medication that was > > helpful, and even so she still has alot of superstitious behaviors, > > it is just milder. Has your daughter tried medication? > > > > nancy grace > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Hi Akiko, my daughter also made immediate strides fighting her ocd in a hospital setting. I think it was because the volunatry aspect (of performing or not performing rituals) was taken away, so if there is some scruploity and hyper-resonsibility about rituals, yet my dd was no longer " responsible " for carrying them out, b/c prevented by the supervised involuntary structure, she could just let it go. At least that is somethimg howmy daughter described it. Even now she says she would have to be in an enforced situation to give up some ritual, she cannot do it volunatarily as that would be bad, but force is acceptable! (Yet ERP wants to garner the partcipation and willingness of the client). Those are the twists and turns of ocd, seems such peverse logic sometimes. And shows you how what happens in one setting is not necessarily transferrable to another setting. nancy grace > > > > Hi Akiko, My daughter (15) had alot of rituals that were connected > > to an idea similar to what you daughter stated. That if she did not > > do a ritual properly the rest of the day would be ruined, and that > > would extend into next day and foward indefinitely, it was like > > an " everything is doomed forever " idea. For many years her most > > significant defining phrase was " everything will be ruined " of > > course, stated with anger or panic. I think this is a difficult > > obsession to overcome b/c it is all too easy to attribute any bad > > thing happening to the fact that the riutal hours earlier or a day > > earlier or even further back was not followed properly, and thus > > caused this bad thing. It is very superstitious. The idea of an > > exposure resulting in indefinite doom can be so scary that the child > > will not attempt it, or if she does (maybe an accidental exposure or > > incidental to circumstances) she engages in additional rituals to > > fix the doubts related to the exposure. I think my daughter could not > > relax her beleifs much at all until she found a medication that was > > helpful, and even so she still has alot of superstitious behaviors, > > it is just milder. Has your daughter tried medication? > > > > nancy grace > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Hi , I may be a bit late to come back here. You describe almost exactly my daughter. Plus my dd said that sometimes outside home she could handle her compulsion more easily because there was no more sacred space to protect from the contamination. At our support-g meeting they often tell us that to succeed in ERP we need our real goal beyond OCD. A goal to pursue after we are freed from OCD. I know a 5yo girl who was brave enough to take ERP to touch her loving mom freely again. My daughter has been missed so many things including academic achievement. As she was so young I was the one to take the blame for her missing era. But now concerning her goal only thing I can do is just to watch her finding her own way. All you moms on this list, you really help me sort out my ideas. The hot and humid summer is still lingering here. The challenging new term is just around the corner. We will survive. Thank you so much. AKIKKO -- In , " nancy grace " <nmlinnen@...> wrote: > > Hi Akiko, my daughter also made immediate strides fighting her ocd in > a hospital setting. I think it was because the volunatry aspect (of > performing or not performing rituals) was taken away, so if there is > some scruploity and hyper-resonsibility about rituals, yet my dd was > no longer " responsible " for carrying them out, b/c prevented by the > supervised involuntary structure, she could just let it go. At least > that is somethimg howmy daughter described it. Even now she says she > would have to be in an enforced situation to give up some ritual, she > cannot do it volunatarily as that would be bad, but force is > acceptable! (Yet ERP wants to garner the partcipation and willingness > of the client). Those are the twists and turns of ocd, seems such > peverse logic sometimes. And shows you how what happens in one > setting is not necessarily transferrable to another setting. > nancy grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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