Re: Topic for Discussion: What do you hate about having AS?

[Guest guest]

I hate when the slow social reactions and over emotional reactions are

interpreted not as a physiological and psychological perspective but

rather some assumed motivation from a moral perspective.

Examples:

Being quiet and withdrawn is interpreted as aloof and unfriendly.

Being agitated and frustrated is interpreted as impatient, angry, mean.

Not readily seeing the needs of others without having them explained

is considered selfish, self-centered, impolite and malicious.

And it's not just when others do this that I hate AS, I hate the fact

that for most of my life, even though I knew my motivations were pure

and innocent, if I was not able to act as others did I must therefore

be a bad person.

[Guest guest]

Blunt honesty being mistaken for a verbal attack and the anxiety that

comes with forced social situations. Lack of understanding or concern

for my need to have my home " in order " . The fact that I like things

clean and stacked, things put where they belong is a big joke in our

house until I blow up. Then I'm mean and angry, bad mom, very bad mom.

Kim

[Guest guest]

Well, I hate that people say that I have aspergers even though I had severe developmental delay in verbal development and even now am much-much weaker in verbal ability than visual-spatial-kinetic...so technically I am/was/is autistic according the DSM. But because I now at an advanced age have a large graduate-school type vocabularly and can at times be highly articulate (if and when my verbal centers in my brain get going in generating speech and even then I'm extremely terrible at remembering names of things usually quickly substituting descriptions with a constancy that should be yet another dead give-away of brain damage) then they seem to feel that saying I'm autistic wouldn't be right somehow. Of course, I don't really know what's going on in their minds and why they keep saying aspergers when the data clearly says otherwise. Grrr...!! I ~suspect~ they think that to call me autistic would be to

imply I have a low IQ, which clearly I don't- not by a mile. (Or...two and a half standard deviations at least, depending on whether you're measuring Weshchler overall IQ or the cultural-bias-free Raven's Progressive Matrices, in the latter case of which I'm around the ceiling of measurability.) So they keep saying I'm aspergerian. It just feels like they're lying because they're too ...Arrgghh! Mentally lazy? Utterly careless about truth- about getting it ~right~? Sigh- I just have to chalk it up to part of my brain never really developing is why they seem to do such unimaginably weird things. Those...those...~aliens~!! Heph Kim <6emini@...> wrote: Blunt honesty being mistaken for a verbal attack and the anxiety thatcomes with forced social situations. Lack of understanding or concernfor my need to have my home "in order". The fact that I like thingsclean and stacked, things put where they belong is a big joke in ourhouse until I blow up. Then I'm mean and angry, bad mom, very bad mom.Kim

Sick sense of humor? Visit TV's Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when.

[Guest guest]

> I don't really know what's going on in their minds and why they keep

saying aspergers when the data clearly says otherwise. Grrr...!! I

~suspect~ they think that to call me autistic would be to imply I have

a low IQ, which clearly I don't- not by a mile.

I think most people (including doctors who should know better) believe

that behavior is the way to diagnose autism and aspergers rather than

the sensory and processing experience.

This is unfortunate not only because of the dismissive way those who

have struggled and learned to manage their differences are treated,

but also because it inhibits the learning of managing skills.

It makes about as much sense as telling a deaf person they are not

deaf because they learned to read lips and speak.

" Well, you seem to understand everything I'm saying and you converse

fine with me, so obviously you must have been misdiagnosed. " And

heaven forbid if you diagnosed yourself...

[Guest guest]

I think my answer is the same. I try very hard to listen to and

understand where others are coming from but when it comes to

understanding me. I wish I had a card. Men tend to only want to bed

you, if you are an intelligent female that gets in the way. so men

discount my intelligence, or try to make me feel less than in order to

control or dominate the situation (1st ex did this 2nd ex just made me

feel incompetent) Most men will try this but I just avoid most men. I

think being afraid of people is the most annoying thing but I think

that is because I see through them to their real aims and they don't

like it. Most people enjoy thing they are decieving others and getting

away with it. when you blow their cover they become hostile. m

[Guest guest]

I don't hate anything about AS. What I hate is how most NTs don't want

to understand AS and how most NTs try to change individuals with AS.

So while I can understand what you're saying , I would have to

say that your example isn't something about hating AS but rather of

hating how many NTs react to what they believe is an all-encompassing

representation of AS that is actually skewed and inaccurate.

Raven

>

> For me it's that most people don't understand it, even when you

explain

> it to them, or else they won't take time to learn about it, believing

> that if they have seen Rainman, they know everything there is to know

> about AS.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

>

> >

> > For me it's that most people don't understand it, even when you

> explain

> > it to them, > > Tom

> > Administrator

> >

>

In all fairness If you asked what I would like to change about me I

would have said sometimes I wish I could just relax. things become

so important to me and even when someone isn't listening or asked but

didn't want the answer I still answer. It feels yucky(I am

embarrased, and annoyed at the same time) Like I " fell " for it again

(not that the other peson has done it on purpose just that I can't

control myself)

Also sometimes I would like to be less afraid of other people.

I was in Boston with my daughter. She laughed because anytime

someone tried to address me or even get my attention I dodged them.

(street offers and the like even free mags) She said to me gee mom

you really are anti social, I told her I just didn't want any stuff,

she told me I didn't have to arc so far from the person i could just

say no. But avoidence is far easier for me than having to say noo.

I just wanted to say there are things I would change about me. I can

really be stubborn (usually this really is in disreguard to my own

physical state) But it causes my family distress

[Guest guest]

I agree with what you have wrote and also the fact some will use it

against you, for example I have had 'you can't see my point of view

because you have AS' and I have very calmly explained that I can see

their point of view, I just disagree with it.

Mmmmmmmm also when trying to paitently and calmly explain to someone

about AS having them interupt me and more or less start rambeling on

about something totally irrelevant and trying to compare that to AS.

>

> For me it's that most people don't understand it, even when you

explain

> it to them, or else they won't take time to learn about it,

believing

> that if they have seen Rainman, they know everything there is to

know

> about AS.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>