Re: Find My Woman

[Guest guest]

" But I am supposed to be thankful that some ape likes me. Um woo

hoo "

Ha ha, so true :-) I've had some apes put on the display and have

told them I not interested, strangely enough (or maybe not) I had to

get extremely blunt for the message to get through and then guess

what? I get accused of being a lesbain! or that there must be

something wrong with me for not been eternally thankful and grateful

for their (unwanted) advances - Mmmmmmmm is it little wonder I remain

mostly in cyber world.

" mutual respect and discussion are the more likely ways to start a

relationship. women can know when somone likes them and are able to

send a go light. If that doesn't work you just might get told. "

I agree, also I prefer to be told straight out; all the 'pussy

footing' about (and aforementioned ape displays) is just confusing

and annoying. However plucking up the courage to tell someone you are

interested in more than just friendship can be difficult sometime and

the last time I did that the guy wasn't interested in a serious

relationship, but seemed to be implying he wouldn't mind a 'physical'

element to the friendship - Mmmmmmmmmm that wasn't exactly a lasting

friendship there.

It is possible to be friends with guys without the physical aspect

though - I have some good male friends online and also one good male

friend off-line too (actually an ex boyfriend).

> >

> > Mmmmmmmm okay, from a slightly different perspective here, I've

had

> > male friends off line and I haven't noticed that they have been

> > making advances and then when I have said I not interested in a

> > romantic relationship - bye bye friendship :-( which makes me

think

> > they were never really interested in been friends in the first

> place.

> >

> > Then there are some guys that seem to want friendship with what I

> > assume they consider 'perks' well since I don't fool around with

my

> > friends like that those friendships don't last either.

> >

> >

> Actually I was thinking the same thing friendship with a male sans

> the desire for physical interaction means no friendship. I never

had

> a male friend that could stay a friend. unless we were in the same

> working environment but that wasn't really friendship as much as

> mutual consumption of space. By and large men are not interested

in

> friendship as they are in sex (I do find that however this is an

NT

> world construct) and one of the things I like about this place. I

> have always preferred communication with men (but in this forum

women

> as well) suprise! But it is only with Aspies that I have felt

safe.

> Most men scare me(physical and mental agression) with a bent toward

> subservience (they don't like them too smart either) But I am

> supposed to be thankful that some ape likes me. Um woo hoo

>

> Not being lesbian I was sure I would remain alone, as most NT males

> are completely unacceptable with 99% being scary or imbiciles or

> exibiting confidence they could not back up with intelligence. I

> know makes me look scary: but often I am insulted, by the audacity

of

> meager attempts.

>

> mutual respect and discussion are the more likely ways to start a

> relationship. women can know when somone likes them and are able

to

> send a go light. If that doesn't work you just might get told.

>

[Guest guest]

>

>

> I have to wonder why some take things so personally when if they

> looked at things logically they would realize it not personal against

> them, that I withdrawing from the situation and too many people.

>

> To be honest sometimes I feel I bodering on paranoia, where I feel I

> have to be careful of every thing I say and do lest I offend someone.

I have learned to tell people I am claustaphobic around groups of

people. If I am just honost that something is scaring me people tend

to forgive me (and in reality I don't need their forgivness,) but

whatever gets me the space!! he he It really is no secret to the

people that I hang around that I am different. It is really only when

I desire acceptance that I end up getting hurt (I am thinking of the

rejection of my ex's family)

They rejected Ravi's dx and made fun of me keeping him away from milk

(behind my back) it didn't seem to matter to them that milk made him

vomit. The more I tried to explain the more it hurt. So I just

haven't seen them since and really they haven't tried to see Ravi. I

think they are willing to see him when he is what they think he should

be. He will never be what they expect an so we don't see them but I do

need Ravi to know that there are those people out there. the ones that

will never accept because they don't accept anything, because it might

mean looking at themselves.

Don't bother . i am sure it is best to interact with you when you

feel best. It is best to interact with me when I am not wild eyed from

a crowd and chest palpitating

[Guest guest]

" By and large men are not interested in friendship as they are in sex

(I do find that however this is an NT world construct) and one of the

things I like about this place. "

If you type " asexuality " in the search engine, you might pull up an

article posted in this forum about Aspies and sex. Many Aspies are

asexual, meaning they have little or no interest in sex. Women Aspies

tend to have more testosterone in their systems and so take on more of

a male role in relationships. Aspie men tend to be a bit less forward

than their NT male counterparts.

The result = more Aspie male/Aspie female friendships and fewer come-

ons and flirtations.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

I was saying that good relationships should take place as I have

described them.

Reality is quite different.

In my experience, the few times I have been hit on by women, the

women were just as aggressive as you describe men being.

In reality, I think it would be much better if people were friends

first before they involved themselves in relationships.

Tom

Administrator

Tom your description is that of an Aspie relationship. a sensical

one. no fair. From a female perspective, a woman is approached by a

boorish, inflated, ignoramous. immidately sex is asked for, and the

woman has to make a split decision. Say no, if she has any intrest

she

likely has to offer some physical offering just to find out if she

should club or speak to him. NT men tend to rush everything. Aspie

men are too afraid of fickle women that want displays of muscle over

intelligence. relationships in this time tend to be shoot first and

ask questions later. I agree with your rendition and that would be my

preference but my experience is very different as others have also

recounted. I wish your description were commonplace and mine were not

mimi

[Guest guest]

" I have some good male friends online and also one good male friend

off-line too (actually an ex boyfriend). "

The reason the friendship with your offline ex-boyfriend works is

because you two have already explored a relationship together and

determined that it won't work. With that out of the way, friendship

between two people of the opposite sex is much easier.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

" I have some good male friends online and also one good male friend

off-line too (actually an ex boyfriend). "

The reason the friendship with your offline ex-boyfriend works is

because you two have already explored a relationship together and

determined that it won't work. With that out of the way, friendship

between two people of the opposite sex is much easier.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

Tom wrote: " ... <snip> ... In reality, I think it would be much

better if people were friends first before they involved themselves in

relationships. "

Even then it may not work.

Raven

Co-Administrator

[Guest guest]

Tom wrote: " ... <snip> ... In reality, I think it would be much

better if people were friends first before they involved themselves in

relationships. "

Even then it may not work.

Raven

Co-Administrator