An Update, sorta, was: Re: When you can't afford travel expenses

[Guest guest]

---

I didnt realize, Barbie, your daughter was expecting. Is she doing ok?

That must have tossed in a whole new....uummm.......I dont want to say

difficulty, but I cant think of another word. make things harder for

you, I guess......but, maybe this new baby will really be a blessing

in all of your lives....I hope everything works out well for your family.

valarie

In , Barbara Jimenez <mother5590@...> wrote:

>

>

> KATE, It is a tough road. I too am now a single mom of 2 (and a

grandchild on the way for my 17yo)with many medical challenges. My

daughter is having a very high risk pregnancy due to her congenital

anomalies because her birthmom used drugs during her pregnancy. My

husband is bipolar overall very high functioning but it CRAZY to live

with him. I left 18mo ago after 20+years of marriage but he does not

pay any child support. Drives me crazy. I moved across country to get

away from him but just moved myself into a MEDICAL MESS because of the

access to care issues in Oklahoma. Nice to hear that others have been

there and done that and that I am not just a " lazy bum " . I am doing

everything I know to make it and my mom also his helping when she can

but my brothers and sisters have NO idea how hard it is and get very

upset when she helps. I too am disabled due to many medical issues

including having had a thoracic spine surgery at the Mayo Clinic due to a

> ruptured disc that killed off part of my spinal cord. I am blessed

in so many ways but feel like I will never get off of this

rollercoaster ride. A discussion a long way from PIDs but so close to

home for many. Thanks for being transparent and REAL>

> BARBIE

>

>

>

> An Update, sorta, was: Re: When you can't afford

travel expenses

>

> Hi ,

> I had to take a minute to write to you. I too have felt defeated

> many times in recent years. I'm a single mom of four, got divorced

> four years ago from a very abusive man. But I have had many times of

> being overwhelmed and feeling like a complete failure. It is very

> hard taking care of children on your own and when they have special

> needs, well, times that by a thousand. The world doesn't really care

> or understand, but we here do. I am working with a career counselor

> who is also a personal counselor to help me get on track with career

> and other things. My ex is a wild card and has periodically stopped

> support payments, i've been on and off public assistance and had help

> from my mother more times than i'm comfortable admitting. I always

> feel at 46 I should be much more " together " than i am. But it is

> hard when your life is marked by constant crises and unpredicatable

> turns. I have had times when i feel utterly defeated, in fact I'm

> just emerging from one of those periods now. You are a strong woman,

> committed to your children and doing everything you can to make it

> through. We have to respect and honor ourselves even more when the

> chips are down and the world seems turned against us. sending out my

> best wishes for everyone here, :-) Kate (mother of Ben CVID ALPS

> autism cerbral palsy) & three

>

>

> >

> > I feel like I am admitting defeat here even though its just being

> realistic.

> > When we moved here I figured it would be great, wonderful

> children's

> > hospital 15 minutes away so instead of it being an over night trip

> at the

> > very least I could take an hour off work instead of 2 days or more.

> I

> > assumed I would be able to work and that hasn't happened, every

> time I turn

> > around we have another appt is seems. Its killing us staying here

> and hasn't

> > worked out like I had hoped. We stayed the night with my parents

> last night

> > and I told my mom I would need to be exploring public

> transportation options

> > because as of today the car payment is now 2 months late and Mr.

> Repo will

> > probably show up soon. They freaked and gave me the lecture about

> having 2

> > medically fragile kids and a million Dr appts with public

> transportation is

> > not going to work. So they wrote us a check (after lecturing me

> about having

> > to save our butts) but we have to move back home but the good news

> is it

> > means we'll get our old insurance back and they will cover 's

> formula

> > which means she will gain weight! I just feel like I've failed

> here

> > though, so many opportunities in the city but when you can't work

> to pay the

> > higher costs of living here... There's also not much in the way of

> support

> > systems there:( Anyway, on the positive side rent is a lot

> cheaper, we'll

> > get our pedi back who is awesome, and my parents kindly pointed out

> when

> > they insisted on going over every expense with me on the cost of

> living here

> > vs. there that I actually MAKE MONEY in mileage reimbursement from

> Regional

> > Center living there. Not a whole lot but it usually made my car

> payment and

> > when we moved here we lost that. So, our lease ends at the end of

> the month

> > and goes to a month to month so I'm giving my 30 day notice on the

> first (I

> > don't want to have to deal with packing/moving during finals at

> school in

> > mid May) and that gives me about 6 weeks to sell as much as I can

> and do

> > what ever I can to come up with money to move (rental truck) and

> > first/last/security and finding a place that will rent to someone

> who

> > doesn't even make 2x the rent. How welfare expects people to pay

> all there

> > bills on $689 a month is beyond me. At least where were going the

> average

> > rent for a 2 bedroom is $550-$650 which is cheaper then here and

> utilities

> > are a lot cheaper too:) So there is hope, I just dread moving where

> there is

> > basically no social support networks (living near my parents is

> some what of

> > a negative to be honest, there far right wing conservatives and I'm

> a single

> > mother with not 1 but 2! children with different fathers no less

> and no

> > intention of finding a husband anytime soon far left wing liberal.

> We butt

> > heads a lot:( Anyway, this will put us 110 miles from UCLA for

> infusing and

> > 170 miles from the children's hospital where everything else is but

> we know

> > the drill, we've done it for years. Just sucks to have to go back

> to it:(

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

>

>