Behavior, discipline,etc.

[Guest guest]

My son likes rewards when he does something good, but they weren't very effective for warding off bad behavior (for him). He definitely responded to getting his tv or computer taken away. He never responded to getting spanked. For him-it was taking away the things that he liked the best. And I have actually disconnected the cable and tv from his room and carried it out to make my point that I wasn't kidding.

As he grew older and sometimes more stubborn, and sometimes threatening to hurt himself, we had many talks about how when he behaves like that it makes God very sad. I am not a super religious person, but I believe in God and my son does go to Religious Education and this seemed to interest him. He seemed to like to know "the rules" of good behavior that God has and when he spins up or out of control, he has to stay in his room until he apologizes to God and behaves himself. He is 12 now and it's worked remarkably well. He usually is in his room from 5-30 minutes and then will come out and apologize and tell me he prayed to God and that he feels calmer. So for him, a spiritual component seems to make a huge difference.

I don't know how well it will continue into the teenage years, but he is seeing a child psych to try and learn techniques to manage anger and frustration. I think sometimes they just need some sort of distraction to get them out of that cycle they get themselves whipped up into. I am not suggesting this will work for everyone-just sharing what has worked for us.

He is not a morning guy and doesn't always want to get up and go to school, get dressed,etc. BUT he has been told that his job is to go to school and we all have jobs here and everyone has to do their job, whether they want to or not. If they don't do their job, they are not entitled to the perks of having a job- like allowance, trips to Mcs, going to the park,etc. Instead, they will have to help with someone else's job--like cleaning the bathroom. That always does it. School is always a better option then scrubbing the toilet. This is also the option when I hear "I'm bored."

Needless to say, I am not always a popular Mom, but I am respected.

Cheers to all the parents on this list. High fives on the good days and hugs on the bad ones!!

Hugs,

Kate Gallegos

my son's website is:

www.bestweatherboy.com and he blogs about his life there