My son, the victim (or bully?) with PDD-NOS

[Guest guest]

I don't know what to do.

My kids got off the bus today with my 8YO daughter () saying that her

brother (Hayden, who is a 5yo in kindergarten, PDD-NOS, Apraxia mostly resolved)

was punched while in the bus line at school.

I made her stop telling me and asked my son, Hayden, to tell me.

After school, they line up in the gym by bus number. didn't see what

happened, but her friend did and told her. Also a " teacher " apparently heard

what happened but didn't see it.

Another boy in kindergarten, Ashton, allegedly took Hayden's hat and glasses off

of him and then punched him in the nose. Hayden then punched Ashton back.

Hayden is fine - who knows if the other kid is.

Here's the thing - I'm 99% sure that Hayden was doing something to provoke this

kid. I've been working with Hayden on " Social Thinking " with the Social

Detective book by Winner. However, Hayden does a lot of

" unexpected " behaviors. He was probably in this other kid's face, or

sing-songing and dancing too close to him... generally being annoying. It's

just what he does. Granted, that doesn't mean that this other kid should hit

him.

I went to the school immediately and barely caught the principal who was

leaving. I told her what I'd learned and she said she'd talk to Ashton and

's friend on Monday and see what happened. She did ask what Hayden did

after he was hit and I told her that he hit Ashton back. She said, " Well good

for him. "

My husband says that I don't know what it's like to be a boy and that this stuff

is just going to happen.

My son takes karate - I don't want him hurting anyone. He's only in

kindergarten - I don't want this getting worse as he gets older. I've already

had to intervene twice this year because of bullying on the bus. Hayden now has

an assigned seat near the driver and the " bully " kids were ordered to not sit by

Hayden.

I guess I just need to make sure that more social thinking type stuff is

included in his IEP. My gut reaction was to have Hayden wait for the bus to be

ready in the office and take him out of that gym situation all together. My

husband says that it would be better for him to just work it out and learn the

hard way how to deal with the situation in the gym.

I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated and mad, and probably still just

mourning that this is part of my parenting life. BOOO!

Any advice, recommendations, or been-there-done-that stories are welcome.

Thanks,

--Steph--

[Guest guest]

I have two boys that are autistic my oldest has aspergers my youngest is pdd

both very active both deal with other boys there age on the spectrum and not my

oldest is 16 now my youngest is 9, reading message I can relate listen to your

husband first let him deal as a boy and whatever he needs to deal with in school

watch the situation take each things it may just two boys fighting in school and

that is just going to happen sometimes

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