Aggression in 6.5-year-old... Different at home and school?

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I am new to this message board, but could really use the support. Son has been

to OT for sensory integration issues with some success. His psychiatrist says

she prescreened him for Aspergers and found hm to be borderline (which makes as

much sense as being partially pregnant to me). We are in the process of getting

him evaluated in our area, but in the meantime, I believe 99.9% that he is

Aspergers. He has ALL the main symptoms. He is also extremely gifted, and very

aggressive with family. He holds it together in public places like school and

gymnastics because he likes the routine and challenge. At home/with us, it's

like he can't hold it together anymore and he blows up. My daughter and I are

the main targets of the physical violence - hitting, kicking, throwing things -

and I am his main target of emotional outbursts. To add to the mix, I have

recently come down with an illness which paralyzed me - but I am now getting

stronger each day.

Here are some of his symptoms:

Paused speech

Quick to anger

Frustration

Physical outbursts

Emotional outbursts

Rigidity in routine

Very formal speech

Acts like an animal

Personal space issues

Sensory Processing Disorder

High anxiety

Fears include: bad weather, smoke alarms

Feeling that he must be perfect

Holds it " together " at school, unloads at home

Kisses classmates/hugs

Reading at age 3

Sensitivity to loud/sudden noises

Sensitivity to textures of fabrics

Loves swinging/twirling/being dizzy

Focused on computers/Wii games – needs success

Gifted

Extreme logic

Doesn't understand emotion – can't " read " others

Writing is difficult, hates fine motor

Stims – bites fingernails, sucks thumb, sucks on shirt, etc.

Hates to be misunderstood or to have his thinking interrupted

I've tried every suggestion the OT told me, but he's so different in the family

setting!

Can anyone relate?

Thanks!