Re: personal stress/emotions

[Guest guest]

I definitely feel that way too. My son is aggressive and it's hard to keep him from hurting his sisters including his 8 month old sister. He also is very hyper running around like crazy. His medicine for the adhd helps, but it seems like it waters it down not taking it away.

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM, Ristau <2boyzmama@...> wrote:

 

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years?  my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper.  it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations.  just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one. 

-- Kristi <3<3<3

[Guest guest]

Hi , I am new here but have been the mom of 2 kids on the spectrum for over a decade now. You are, most definitely not alone! I think that any kind of extreme stress will bring out all of our own "stuff" as a parent and we then need to deal with it. I know I would not have been confronted with and then had to deal with a lot of my own history had I not had the children that I do. So in a backwards way, it can be cosnidered a good thng as it has led me to more healing in the long run. But it has been (and still is) a mighty bumpy road. I heard this saying somewhere but can't remember where so I apologize for not giving credit, but we are in the NFL of parenting (parenting ASD kids) not the Sunday afternoon flag football league (parenting regular kids). It takes more of everything and a lot of

patience to deal with other people who just don't get it on top of all we have to give to our kids.

HTH,

From: Ristau <2boyzmama@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, March 21, 2011 2:37:53 PMSubject: personal stress/emotions

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

[Guest guest]

You are NOT alone!!  My son is 11 and I have spent most of his life trying to talk through, avoid, deal with, or just work through his melt-downs and mood swings... I do get VERY worn out and sometimes I even feel like I can't do it anymore... but then ... we have a good moment (not a day a moment) and I remember why I do it...

I think that it is a great idea to see your own counselor I have considered it myself very recently...

 

 

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM, Ristau <2boyzmama@...> wrote:

 

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years?  my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper.  it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations.  just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one. 

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

 

[Guest guest]

yup us tooooo however  my partner decided to move out two years ago and comes home on the weekends, let me ask you all this. what gives him the right to bail, and loose his temper and speak angriliy at the kid, whwn I am home 24 7 and raise my voice this is the reason for him leaving????? strange, yes I am exhauseted, never enough time between fighting to get him to school and hims home time, to accomplish much of anything, let alone to sleep for 5 straight hours, now that my sleep cycle is probably more messed than the kids, wow, do I really see life this way guess I do, sorry I am a very negative woman at this point.

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 3:50 PM, Kristi <brendansmommy0920@...> wrote:

 

I definitely feel that way too. My son is aggressive and it's hard to keep him from hurting his sisters including his 8 month old sister. He also is very hyper running around like crazy. His medicine for the adhd helps, but it seems like it waters it down not taking it away.

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM, Ristau <2boyzmama@...> wrote:

 

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years?  my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper.  it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations.  just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one. 

--

Kristi <3<3<3

[Guest guest]

My son has been taking Melatonion. It is a natural and drug free way to get your kid to sleep at night. My son is 4 and becomes wild around 7pm and after. He was jumping off our coffee table and loveseat! My son's Physical therepist recommeneded Melatonion. I was skeptical at first. Two other parents who kids also have autism also mentioned it. They swore it worked. I finally tried it and..it does! I can't give advice on daytime handling. I do that on day at a time myself. At bedtime this stuff rocks! We are all finally getting some sleep.

[Guest guest]

I put my daughter in a psychiatric hospital. I was at my wits end. It was an acute care facility, but u have to get a break and they can help the child too. Your child is suffering too. Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: Kirkland Clan <abbeymanor@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2011 16:14:04 -0400<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: personal stress/emotions yup us tooooo however  my partner decided to move out two years ago and comes home on the weekends, let me ask you all this. what gives him the right to bail, and loose his temper and speak angriliy at the kid, whwn I am home 24 7 and raise my voice this is the reason for him leaving????? strange, yes I am exhauseted, never enough time between fighting to get him to school and hims home time, to accomplish much of anything, let alone to sleep for 5 straight hours, now that my sleep cycle is probably more messed than the kids, wow, do I really see life this way guess I do, sorry I am a very negative woman at this point.On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 3:50 PM, Kristi <brendansmommy0920@...> wrote:  I definitely feel that way too. My son is aggressive and it's hard to keep him from hurting his sisters including his 8 month old sister. He also is very hyper running around like crazy. His medicine for the adhd helps, but it seems like it waters it down not taking it away. On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM, Ristau <2boyzmama@...> wrote:  just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years?  my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper.  it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations.  just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.  -- Kristi <3<3<3

[Guest guest]

Our son has mild aspergers and mild ADD, but the constant work to

keep him fuctioning somewhere near where he can is tiring.  For us,

it has gotten easier, or we have become more used to it, but it is

still something that you live with constantly, always having to be

aware of what he can and can't handle, and what we have to do to

make life go smoothly.  He's 16, but his mother is already keeping

an eye out for a suitable young lady to hand him on to someday.  She

thinks being responsible for two people with Aspergers just gets a

bit much some days.  She works while I study and look after teh

kids, so at least she gets a break by going to work with (almost)

normal people.

Some measure of the stress of dealing with kids with autism and/or

ADHD is the statistic that around 80% of marriages break up when

they are dealing with this.  We almost did during the first year

after our son was born, but we are both stubborn people, so have

managed to make it work so far.  Our son was awake for about 20

hours a day, and if not held simply screamed the whole time.  To

others he was a loveable baby - which he was of course, but only

when we held him.   Looking back, I'm not sure how we survived and

remained sane.  Perhaps we didn't

On 22/03/2011 6:37 AM, Ristau wrote:

 

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping

vigil for so many years?� my son is 9 and has always been

one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper.�

it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying

to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the

moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start

talking through some of my stress and frustrations.� just

wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.�

[Guest guest]

You're not the only one My son is 11 and I feel like I've been emotionally exhausted since the day he was born. I have sought out counseling several times. I'm now on an anti-depressant to help me deal with him. We ride the roller coaster of emotions on a minute by minute basis. Take time for yourself (if you can) and definitely seek counseling if it will help you.

Good luck!

shelly

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

You are so not alone. I feel like this every day and only another parent of an ASD child can truly understand. LynnFrom: <shellyX6@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, March 21, 2011 4:18:21 PMSubject: Re: personal

stress/emotions

You're not the only one My son is 11 and I feel like I've been emotionally exhausted since the day he was born. I have sought out counseling several times. I'm now on an anti-depressant to help me deal with him. We ride the roller coaster of emotions on a minute by minute basis. Take time for yourself (if you can) and definitely seek counseling if it will help you.

Good luck!

shelly

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

you are not alone.. some days when i am so low.. i consider "dying".. not that I would do it... my ex husband would never care for our child like i do.. but i do consider "how peaceful being not here might be".. but like others said.. you have that one magic moment(like a 5 minute moment) out of 7 days.. and that keeps you going...

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

I've thought of dying too, not to really die but just to have some peace. I have other kids though so its not an option. Its much better now that I'm on anti-depressents though, at least I dont have that black cloud over my head anymore.

shelly

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

I have never been so upset I thought about dying but I do get very depressed and my husband too. It effects everything and it goes in waves. I eat more, I cry more, I drink more, I sleep more, I'm less productive in my life and what I need to accomplish etc. The only time I was on meds for depression was following my daughters birth (ASD son was two). The thought of a new born AND my son with "issues" was too much for me. And 12 month later I was pregnant again with number THREE on an IUD (because I didn't think I could handle more). I think I had a more reasonable expectation of what things would be like with the third baby and did not suffer from PPD. My depression seems to be "situational" but still pervasive. My husband does not always cope well but he does well most of the time. I am however always the primary care giver to all three children! Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: montgomery <iaomontgomery@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2011 15:10:51 -0700 (PDT)<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: personal stress/emotions you are not alone.. some days when i am so low.. i consider "dying".. not that I would do it... my ex husband would never care for our child like i do.. but i do consider "how peaceful being not here might be".. but like others said.. you have that one magic moment(like a 5 minute moment) out of 7 days.. and that keeps you going... just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one. -- Era Kay Hill832-775-4452erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

we have four kids and my ASD son is the oldest.  i too struggle with eating more, doing less, drinking more, sleeping more, etc.  i feel a bit scattered and sometimes anxious in my everyday life which bugs me.  i hesitate to go places because i get worried that he might run away, or meltdown, or be defiant.  it's a struggle to try and give the other kids a 'normal' life while trying to balance his needs. 

i have written several things that have been published and am working on a book about boys with struggles.  (b/c i only have experience with a son with special needs) i want to offer encouragement, but also to give a place for parents to be honest... to realize they don't always like their child - although they always love them.  that they sometimes resent the effort it takes.  that sometimes we want to quit. that it can all feel like too much.  i think lots of parents feel this way, but are hesitant to give way to these emotions or acknowledge them... i want to write in such a way that resonates with parents while still offering hope.  so, thanks for the responses... i know we all feel overwhelmed at times, and places like this support group are a big help. so- thanks everyone for being honest. 

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 7:13 PM, <srt12780@...> wrote:

 

I have never been so upset I thought about dying but I do get very depressed and my husband too. It effects everything and it goes in waves. I eat more, I cry more, I drink more, I sleep more, I'm less productive in my life and what I need to accomplish etc. The only time I was on meds for depression was following my daughters birth (ASD son was two). The thought of a new born AND my son with " issues " was too much for me. And 12 month later I was pregnant again with number THREE on an IUD (because I didn't think I could handle more). I think I had a more reasonable expectation of what things would be like with the third baby and did not suffer from PPD. My depression seems to be " situational " but still pervasive.

My husband does not always cope well but he does well most of the time. I am however always the primary care giver to all three children! Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: montgomery <iaomontgomery@...>

Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2011 15:10:51 -0700 (PDT)<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >

Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Subject: Re: personal stress/emotions

 

you are not alone.. some days when i am so low.. i consider " dying " .. not that I would do it... my ex husband would never care for our child like i do.. but i do consider " how peaceful being not here might be " ..  but like others said.. you have that one magic moment(like a 5 minute moment) out of 7 days.. and that keeps you going...

 

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years?  my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper.  it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations.  just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one. 

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

 

[Guest guest]

And if that doesn't do the trick there is always Tenex or Benedryl. My son has been on just Melatonin alone, then Tenex and Melaonin and when he's up past mid-night we give him some Benedryl to knock him out so he can get 5-6 hrs before school of sleep . Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: Genie Bottle <bottlegenie56@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2011 13:41:30 -0700 (PDT)<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: personal stress/emotions My son has been taking Melatonion. It is a natural and drug free way to get your kid to sleep at night. My son is 4 and becomes wild around 7pm and after. He was jumping off our coffee table and loveseat! My son's Physical therepist recommeneded Melatonion. I was skeptical at first. Two other parents who kids also have autism also mentioned it. They swore it worked. I finally tried it and..it does! I can't give advice on daytime handling. I do that on day at a time myself. At bedtime this stuff rocks! We are all finally getting some sleep.

[Guest guest]

After 40 years of working with my daughter, seeing her get well, then as an adult from pesticide, and my mother's death, regress and working our way back out again, I have to say that the only thing that has kept me sane throughout these decades -- and better than sane, as I am generally in a very good mood (with slips sometimes when there's a meltdown) and have much more energy than I did as a teenager -- the one thing is the inner Guidance that I have heard since a child and began to hear frequently once she vaccine regressed as an infant.

Everyone has a Guide, that is always available to You. Just ask and quietly listen. You will hear, although it may take some patience. Your Guide loves You totally and is always there for You. And the Guidance is amazing and works! I may have mentioned that people would ask me how I knew to do this or that for our daughter, and my Guide is how. (And interestingly one of my stepdaughters just recently told me that she's heard Guidance since she was a teenager.)

A Guide is like the Voice for God for You (or for Intelligence if the word God isn't okay) or Voice for Love. And this Love is always with You and always available. The more You ask, the more You hear.

Spending some time (even 10 minutes a day, once or twice) sitting quietly, stilling our mind, like meditating, is invaluable. Thinking is exhausting, especially when dealing with ASD. So peace is very important, and gives a stability that no drug can.

And at the direction of Guidance, we became vegan 37 years ago, and now raw vegan for 7 years. And this is a tremendous help to being strong and in a stable happy mood.

This may sound 'far out', and it works. So many people say to me: I don't know how You do it. This is how. I'm no-one special, and I've been willing to have this unseen Help, and it has made all the difference.

Love,

Francine

Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

Spirit with Spirit can speak.

Closer is Love than breathing,

Nearer than hands and feet.

(with appreciation for Tennyson)

Re: personal stress/emotions

you are not alone.. some days when i am so low.. i consider "dying".. not that I would do it... my ex husband would never care for our child like i do.. but i do consider "how peaceful being not here might be".. but like others said.. you have that one magic moment(like a 5 minute moment) out of 7 days.. and that keeps you going...

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

I hardly post on this forum (but I should). I just want to say thank you to everyone for being so honest about thier feelings on this topic. You can't always tell people in real life that you feel like just being "done" with this way of life. People dont usually understand. I've lost many a friend in the last 11 years but still have two wonderful lifelong friends (they feel like sisters). I have nine children in all, my "special" one is number 5. Obviously, I hung on to the hope that we could endure We have. My marriage took a bend but we are stronger than ever. I want to thank you all for being here when we need you.

shelly

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

Mother of nearly 10 year old twins here, son is Aspergers/ADHD/Tourettes/CAPD and NO you are NOT alone. you are normal. Marilynwww.marilynsattic.net, your source for books, music and moreFrom: Era Hill <erakay.hill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Monday, March 21, 2011 4:06 PMSubject: Re: personal stress/emotions

You are NOT alone!! My son is 11 and I have spent most of his life trying to talk through, avoid, deal with, or just work through his melt-downs and mood swings... I do get VERY worn out and sometimes I even feel like I can't do it anymore... but then ... we have a good moment (not a day a moment) and I remember why I do it...

I think that it is a great idea to see your own counselor I have considered it myself very recently...

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM, Ristau <2boyzmama@...> wrote:

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

You most definitely are not the only ones. I end nearly every day exhausted and wondering if I've done everything I can. My son is 11, and he is very defiant and hyper. I worry about his future, and that only adds to my stress. It's good that you're seeing a counselor; someone that you can talk with about your stresses and anxieties. I think that will really help. I keep meaning to make an appointment for myself, too, but I never have enough time. I homeschool both of my sons, and I never seem to have enough time.

A pat on the back to you for being such a good mom and for keeping that vigil.

All the best,

Lora

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM, Ristau <2boyzmama@...> wrote:

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

thank you .. you are right.. just some peace and to not have anxiety from the moment you start their day to the moment they fall asleep.. (wondering will school be ok.. will he do something not so good... can we go to target without loudness.. etc.. ).. i know everyone has their struggles even with NT kids.. but damn.. one or two days of solid peace would be heaven every so often...

i just started wellbutrin for all the stress.. i hope it helps

thank you too everyone.. none of my friends with NT kids understand..

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums. i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

Dear Era, Well done you! Seeing your own councillor is a good idea. I have long been concerned by the lack of support for the parents of kids like ours. What about our special needs?We are the glue that holds everything together, if that glue cracks or dries out then things will fall apart. How many of us spend our days as taxi service to therapies, or measuring enzymes, checking labels, anticipating meltdowns, berating ourselves, feeling guilty, ignoring family and friends, forgetting to brush our hair, go to school in our slippers or pyjama, or just trying to survive? Dreading the family holiday as it might mean meltdowns in the car, stress and anxiety as it's a new place, new food, etec etc When in fact we desperately need a break. Yesterday I spoke to my kids school assistants about my concerns regarding their asthma and general health at the moment.

All the time ignoring the fact that I was sneezing, blowing my nose and wheezing between sentences. Why? Because like all of us we put the kids first. We are good parents and more importantly we are better human beings for it. I started seeing a therapist about eighteen months ago and I refuse to stop. It was the best support I could have had. You can cry, whinge, vent in privacy and not feel guilty. They can help you to focus and see the strength that you have in yourself. Mine said to me a few months ago 'Don't get focused on the label Aspergers, just look at what they can achieve'. It was a liberating statement. I felt a huge pressure being lifted, or perhaps I should say a guilt or a sense or responsibility. So yes there are still some very bad days, but the lovely moments are fabulous. My children have made me see the world in a different way. The world that they need is quiet and calm, the simple things are best and I feel less busy and harassed

since moving to an isolated little farm as opposed to the busy city.

You go girl! Get the support you need. Being of Irish blood my approach is 'Chin up or Gin up'. I have family fun Friday with pizza and a dvd and an extra big gin afterwards to congratulate myself on achieving another week sane. It also preps me for the weekend ahead. Find your stress release, celebrate how brilliant you are.

Lynda x

[Guest guest]

Truly not alone. I mentioned before that there are not a lot of services in our state for our kids but one thing there is - a pair of pediatric neurologists who have been called to not only treat their pediatric patients but also the mothers of their patients. They lead a non-denomination bible study for the mothers of their patients. It is incredible. We come together once a week for one hour. One session in the spring and one in the fall. The women support each other through prayer, encouragement, co-misery, and celebration. It has gotten me through many periods of frustration and exhaustion. JanFrom: marilyn <onebusytwinmom@...>"Autism and Aspergers Treatment " <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Sent: Mon, March 21, 2011 9:55:42 PMSubject: Re: personal stress/emotions

Mother of nearly 10 year old twins here, son is Aspergers/ADHD/Tourettes/CAPD and NO you are NOT alone. you are normal. Marilynwww.marilynsattic.net, your source for books, music and moreFrom: Era Hill <erakay.hill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Monday, March 21, 2011 4:06 PMSubject: Re: personal stress/emotions

You are NOT alone!! My son is 11 and I have spent most of his life trying to talk through, avoid, deal with, or just work through his melt-downs and mood swings... I do get VERY worn out and sometimes I even feel like I can't do it anymore... but then ... we have a good moment (not a day a moment) and I remember why I do it...

I think that it is a great idea to see your own counselor I have considered it myself very recently...

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM, Ristau <2boyzmama@...> wrote:

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

Truly not alone. I mentioned before that there are not a lot of services in our state for our kids but one thing there is - a pair of pediatric neurologists who have been called to not only treat their pediatric patients but also the mothers of their patients. They lead a non-denomination bible study for the mothers of their patients. It is incredible. We come together once a week for one hour. One session in the spring and one in the fall. The women support each other through prayer, encouragement, co-misery, and celebration. It has gotten me through many periods of frustration and exhaustion. JanFrom: marilyn <onebusytwinmom@...>"Autism and Aspergers Treatment " <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Sent: Mon, March 21, 2011 9:55:42 PMSubject: Re: personal stress/emotions

Mother of nearly 10 year old twins here, son is Aspergers/ADHD/Tourettes/CAPD and NO you are NOT alone. you are normal. Marilynwww.marilynsattic.net, your source for books, music and moreFrom: Era Hill <erakay.hill@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Monday, March 21, 2011 4:06 PMSubject: Re: personal stress/emotions

You are NOT alone!! My son is 11 and I have spent most of his life trying to talk through, avoid, deal with, or just work through his melt-downs and mood swings... I do get VERY worn out and sometimes I even feel like I can't do it anymore... but then ... we have a good moment (not a day a moment) and I remember why I do it...

I think that it is a great idea to see your own counselor I have considered it myself very recently...

On Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 2:37 PM, Ristau <2boyzmama@...> wrote:

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...

[Guest guest]

I am not going to say 'no religion allowed' here, but I would like

to see it kept to a minimum.  I do believe that meditation - of

whatever kind, although my preference is for classical Christian

contemplation - or some form of relaxation is a good idea.  At least

for those who can find 10 minutes to be undisturbed.

The boundary between sharing and preaching is hard to define.  I

would prefer personally that we all try to stick closely to the

'sharing' side and avoid preaching.  I would like everyone, whatever

their personal beliefs (Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist, atheist,

etc, etc), to be able to share what helps them, but please be aware

that whatever religious beliefs you hold, someone will be offended

by them if it comes across as preaching.  If you preface your

remarks by "I believe" and present it as "this is what works for me"

rather than "this is what you should believe/do" I think we should

all be able to accept an occasional post that deals with religion. 

Please do not feel obliged to respond and set the poster straight if

you disagree with their POV.  Delete the email (meditate or go for a

walk or whatever is necessary if it really annoys you) and move on. 

I have to do that often on a couple of denominational lists I am on,

and that is with people who theoretically believe the same as I do. 

If you believe an email is moving too much into preaching, say so

(nicely), then move on.  If you get that response to a post you

make, an appropriate repsonse would be either "I'm sorry, I didn't

realise it sounded that way" or "I'm sorry, but I disagree.  But

let's leave it at that".   I don't want any post that mentions

religion to develop into an argument of what constitutes preaching

and how much right we all have to free speech.

Please remember we are here to support each other because we are all

in some way dealing with autism.  Feel free to share what helps -

whether it is exercise, diet, medication, life style choices,

religion, or whatever.  Just respect other people's right to hold a

different opinion and express it.  Read your email before posting,

and if you think it will offend, you're probably right, and deleting

it is the best option.  And remember, sometimes the best response to

an email is to delete it.

[moderator]

On 22/03/2011 12:46 PM, sunrose101@... wrote:

 

After 40 years of working with my daughter,

seeing her get well, then as an adult from pesticide,

and my mother's death, regress and working our way back

out again, I have to say that the only thing that has

kept me sane throughout these decades -- and better than

sane, as I am generally in a very good mood (with slips

sometimes when there's a meltdown) and have much more

energy than I did as a teenager -- the one thing is the

inner Guidance that I have heard since a child and began

to hear frequently once she vaccine regressed as an

infant.

 

Everyone has a Guide, that is

always available to You.  Just ask and quietly

listen.  You will hear, although it may take some

patience.  Your Guide loves You totally and is always

there for You.  And the Guidance is amazing and

works!  I may have mentioned that people would ask me

how I knew to do this or that for our daughter, and my

Guide is how.  (And interestingly one of my

stepdaughters just recently told me that she's heard

Guidance since she was a teenager.)

 

A Guide is like the Voice for God

for You (or for Intelligence if the word God isn't

okay) or Voice for Love.  And this Love is always with

You and always available.  The more You ask, the more

You hear.

 

Spending some time (even 10

minutes a day, once or twice) sitting quietly,

stilling our mind, like meditating, is invaluable. 

Thinking is exhausting, especially when dealing with

ASD.  So peace is very important, and gives a

stability that no drug can.

 

And at the direction of Guidance,

we became vegan 37 years ago, and now raw vegan for 7

years.  And this is a tremendous help to being strong

and in a stable happy mood.

 

This may sound 'far out', and it

works.  So many people say to me: I don't know how You

do it.  This is how.  I'm no-one special, and I've

been willing to have this unseen Help, and it has made

all the difference.

 

Love,

Francine

,_.___

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[Guest guest]

Chiming in here - another tired mom of an Aspie! I truly feel like our family dynamic (also have a 9yr old daughter) revolves WAY too much around DS13's mood. And I hate that the only time to talk about his temper tantrums is during his "good times" so that even those are dealing with his temper.

Barbara

Re: personal stress/emotions

You're not the only one My son is 11 and I feel like I've been emotionally exhausted since the day he was born. I have sought out counseling several times. I'm now on an anti-depressant to help me deal with him. We ride the roller coaster of emotions on a minute by minute basis. Take time for yourself (if you can) and definitely seek counseling if it will help you.

Good luck!

shelly

just wondering if any of you feel exhausted after keeping vigil for so many years? my son is 9 and has always been one to meltdown or get aggressive, or be overly hyper. it's tiring, and the stress of it is frustrating. trying to keep him calm, talk him through things, or wait out the moods/tantrums.

i'm finally seeing my own counselor this week to start talking through some of my stress and frustrations. just wanted to hear that i'm not the only one.

--

Era Kay Hill

832-775-4452

erakay.hill@...