Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

[Guest guest]

My son is now 12 and we have the same problem constantly. We have lost a game

boy sp, DSI and now a DS. That is in addition to countless other things and any

money he ever has. My son even takes his o sibblings' things to " trade " at

school. I feel like a prison guard in the mornings going through pat downs and

backpack searches to make sure he doesn't have anything. Even though he some

how still gets things out of here. It breaks my heart that he feels he has to

do this to have friends and even then they are just using him. I have tried for

years to explain this to him but, he still doesn't get it. I don't see how a

parent isn't worried when their child bring these things home, I know I would

be. I would love to hear any suggestions anyone has on this. He even comes

home with out clothing items, hoodies, jackets, he has even tried to " trade " his

shoes by wearing another pair and sneaking the pair someone wanted. And of

course you can't forget when they start having them to do things they know the

aspie will do, just to laugh at them. A few weeks ago one little girl even

started talking to him on facebook and had him call her just so when he did she

could be really mean to him and then post about it so everyone else could laugh

at him. He was devasted and cried after the phone call but doesn't understand

what she is doing. We have lots of girls that start sending messages to him and

say they like him and come and sit with me in the morning at school and then

when he does they are so mean to him and make everyone laugh at him. One girl

did this and when he started talking back her " boyfriend " started threating my

son.

>

> I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments

are welcome.

>

> My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we

are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately

wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2

more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's gullability and

niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in

today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting

bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff

but....is this were it all begins?

>

> First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next

to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit

" over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said

" well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils called

smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another

table. The boy laughed.

>

> Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be

in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club.

Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists

that there is.

>

> Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they

are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys

like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him " oh, it's

at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked

to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it

back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back

and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in

his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the

free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it

was the one my son gave him.

>

> Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my

concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school

could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it

will continue.

>

[Guest guest]

God, it ticks me off how we are typecast as people without empathy when anecdotal evidence indicates that we would literally give the shirts off our backs for anyone who needs it. And meanwhile the “normal” kids are the ones laughing at someone else’s expense. Yep. They have empathy!

On 1/22/11 10:35 AM, " Bobbie " <bjbartram@...> wrote:

My son is now 12 and we have the same problem constantly. We have lost a game boy sp, DSI and now a DS. That is in addition to countless other things and any money he ever has. My son even takes his o sibblings' things to " trade " at school. I feel like a prison guard in the mornings going through pat downs and backpack searches to make sure he doesn't have anything. Even though he some how still gets things out of here. It breaks my heart that he feels he has to do this to have friends and even then they are just using him. I have tried for years to explain this to him but, he still doesn't get it. I don't see how a parent isn't worried when their child bring these things home, I know I would be. I would love to hear any suggestions anyone has on this. He even comes home with out clothing items, hoodies, jackets, he has even tried to " trade " his shoes by wearing another pair and sneaking the pair someone wanted. And of course you can't forget when they start having them to do things they know the aspie will do, just to laugh at them. A few weeks ago one little girl even started talking to him on facebook and had him call her just so when he did she could be really mean to him and then post about it so everyone else could laugh at him. He was devasted and cried after the phone call but doesn't understand what she is doing. We have lots of girls that start sending messages to him and say they like him and come and sit with me in the morning at school and then when he does they are so mean to him and make everyone laugh at him. One girl did this and when he started talking back her " boyfriend " started threating my son.

>

> I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.

>

> My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins?

>

> First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit " over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said " well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.

>

> Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is.

>

> Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him " oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him.

>

> Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.

>

--

“The fact that life evolved out of nearly nothing, some 10 billion years after the universe evolved out of literally nothing, is a fact so staggering that I would be mad to attempt words to do it justice.” -- Dawkins

[Guest guest]

Hi, these types of things have happened to my son since about 4th grade, he now in 10th grade. The so called "normal" kids, seem to always want a big laugh by embarrasing our kids because they know that they want acceptance sooo bad, and will do practically anything to get it. We have also lost all kinds of things, they were also traded or just stolen. I have also wondered what the other parents think when their kids bring home expensive items like a DS or a mp3 player. If my son brought something like that home, I would be like WHRER IN THE WORLD DID U GET THAT! and be calling the school immediately, I dont get it it. My son gets what I call "baited" kids do things to him that they know will get him upset and get a rise out of him, then they laugh at him, and then he gets in trouble. From my

experience the "normal kids" are just mean kids.

Candy

From: Esris <julie1013@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sat, January 22, 2011 7:41:37 AMSubject: Re: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

God, it ticks me off how we are typecast as people without empathy when anecdotal evidence indicates that we would literally give the shirts off our backs for anyone who needs it. And meanwhile the “normal†kids are the ones laughing at someone else’s expense. Yep. They have empathy!On 1/22/11 10:35 AM, "Bobbie" <bjbartram@...> wrote:

My son is now 12 and we have the same problem constantly. We have lost a game boy sp, DSI and now a DS. That is in addition to countless other things and any money he ever has. My son even takes his o sibblings' things to "trade" at school. I feel like a prison guard in the mornings going through pat downs and backpack searches to make sure he doesn't have anything. Even though he some how still gets things out of here. It breaks my heart that he feels he has to do this to have friends and even then they are just using him. I have tried for years to explain this to him but, he still doesn't get it. I don't see how a parent isn't worried when their child bring these things home, I know I would be. I would love to hear any suggestions anyone has on this. He

even comes home with out clothing items, hoodies, jackets, he has even tried to "trade" his shoes by wearing another pair and sneaking the pair someone wanted. And of course you can't forget when they start having them to do things they know the aspie will do, just to laugh at them. A few weeks ago one little girl even started talking to him on facebook and had him call her just so when he did she could be really mean to him and then post about it so everyone else could laugh at him. He was devasted and cried after the phone call but doesn't understand what she is doing. We have lots of girls that start sending messages to him and say they like him and come and sit with me in the morning at school and then when he does they are so mean to him and make everyone laugh at him. One girl did this and when he started talking back her "boyfriend" started threating my son.>> I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.> > My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called "friends" took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it

all begins? > > First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit "over there" (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said "well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil" ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.> > Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is. > > Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him "oh, it's at

home, I'll bring in tomorrow" and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to "borrow" his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him. > > Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.> -- “The fact that life evolved out of nearly nothing, some 10 billion years after the universe evolved out of literally nothing, is a fact so staggering that I would be mad to attempt words to do it justice.†-- Dawkins

[Guest guest]

My son is in 6th grade and so called friends ask him to make animal sounds. He does it and gets a laugh from them. My son likes the attention and still makes the sounds, crawls on the floor as a cow. The other kids are not laughing now, they are just annoyed. He wants friends but he

didn't get it that negative attention doesn't get friends.

Autism and Aspergers Treatment From: dclecrouch@...Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2011 09:31:31 -0800Subject: Re: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

Hi, these types of things have happened to my son since about 4th grade, he now in 10th grade. The so called "normal" kids, seem to always want a big laugh by embarrasing our kids because they know that they want acceptance sooo bad, and will do practically anything to get it. We have also lost all kinds of things, they were also traded or just stolen. I have also wondered what the other parents think when their kids bring home expensive items like a DS or a mp3 player. If my son brought something like that home, I would be like WHRER IN THE WORLD DID U GET THAT! and be calling the school immediately, I dont get it it. My son gets what I call "baited" kids do things to him that they know will get him upset and get a rise out of him, then they laugh at him, and then he gets in trouble. From my experience the "normal kids" are just mean kids.

Candy

From: Esris <julie1013@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sat, January 22, 2011 7:41:37 AMSubject: Re: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

God, it ticks me off how we are typecast as people without empathy when anecdotal evidence indicates that we would literally give the shirts off our backs for anyone who needs it. And meanwhile the “normal” kids are the ones laughing at someone else’s expense. Yep. They have empathy!On 1/22/11 10:35 AM, "Bobbie" <bjbartram@...> wrote:

My son is now 12 and we have the same problem constantly. We have lost a game boy sp, DSI and now a DS. That is in addition to countless other things and any money he ever has. My son even takes his o sibblings' things to "trade" at school. I feel like a prison guard in the mornings going through pat downs and backpack searches to make sure he doesn't have anything. Even though he some how still gets things out of here. It breaks my heart that he feels he has to do this to have friends and even then they are just using him. I have tried for years to explain this to him but, he still doesn't get it. I don't see how a parent isn't worried when their child bring these things home, I know I would be. I would love to hear any suggestions anyone has on this. He even comes home with out clothing items, hoodies, jackets, he has even tried to "trade" his shoes by wearing another pair and sneaking the pair someone wanted. And of course you can't forget when they start having them to do things they know the aspie will do, just to laugh at them. A few weeks ago one little girl even started talking to him on facebook and had him call her just so when he did she could be really mean to him and then post about it so everyone else could laugh at him. He was devasted and cried after the phone call but doesn't understand what she is doing. We have lots of girls that start sending messages to him and say they like him and come and sit with me in the morning at school and then when he does they are so mean to him and make everyone laugh at him. One girl did this and when he started talking back her "boyfriend" started threating my son.>> I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.> > My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called "friends" took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins? > > First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit "over there" (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said "well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil" ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.> > Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is. > > Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him "oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow" and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to "borrow" his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him. > > Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.> -- “The fact that life evolved out of nearly nothing, some 10 billion years after the universe evolved out of literally nothing, is a fact so staggering that I would be mad to attempt words to do it justice.” -- Dawkins

[Guest guest]

Hi. I have to tell you how deeply sad I felt after reading your post and the

replies of similar situations. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this.

My little guy is 5 and does not have much of an interest in making friends, yet

I can see that once he does we are going to be in the same boat.

Does your guy have an IEP yet? If so are theory of mind goals, social goals,

pragmatic language goals that target his understanding of these situations

included? If not they need to be.

If you don't have a vast understanding of what your son is entitled to I suggest

you get as educated as you can by talking to other parents and advocates and

reading your state code and books that pertain to your child's disability. The

school will rarely tell you what your little guy is entitled to, you have to

tell them. Their goal is usually to give the least amount of services in order

to save their resources and they will go to great lengths to save money.

TO me this sounds like a form of psychological bullying, and the children are

getting away with what they are being allowed to get away with by the adults who

are supposed to be monitoring them. I would write a letter, cc ing the director

of special services, principal, teacher, case manager and explain what has been

happening. Ask for their suggestions and give some of your own :social skill

training by a trained professional that has a strong background working with

asperger's, goals and objectives relating to this in the IEP, and possibly an

aide to oversee that this does not continue. Let them know how serious this

form of bullying/trickery is to you. I'd also consult with the Dr. that dx'ed

your kiddo.

B

>

> I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments

are welcome.

>

> My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we

are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately

wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2

more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's gullability and

niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in

today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting

bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff

but....is this were it all begins?

>

> First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next

to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit

" over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said

" well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils called

smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another

table. The boy laughed.

>

> Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be

in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club.

Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists

that there is.

>

> Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they

are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys

like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him " oh, it's

at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked

to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it

back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back

and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in

his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the

free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it

was the one my son gave him.

>

> Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my

concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school

could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it

will continue.

>

[Guest guest]

My son would do the same thing when he was younger, he would say they think i am funny it makes them laugh. He didnt get it that they were not laughing with him, but at him. Its like they want the acceptance so badly they will do anything to get it. That scares me so much.

Candy

From: MARVIN LORI WILMES <lorimar9@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sat, January 22, 2011 9:41:01 PMSubject: RE: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

My son is in 6th grade and so called friends ask him to make animal sounds. He does it and gets a laugh from them. My son likes the attention and still makes the sounds, crawls on the floor as a cow. The other kids are not laughing now, they are just annoyed. He wants friends but he didn't get it that negative attention doesn't get friends.

Autism and Aspergers Treatment From: dclecrouch@...Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2011 09:31:31 -0800Subject: Re: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

Hi, these types of things have happened to my son since about 4th grade, he now in 10th grade. The so called "normal" kids, seem to always want a big laugh by embarrasing our kids because they know that they want acceptance sooo bad, and will do practically anything to get it. We have also lost all kinds of things, they were also traded or just stolen. I have also wondered what the other parents think when their kids bring home expensive items like a DS or a mp3 player. If my son brought something like that home, I would be like WHRER IN THE WORLD DID U GET THAT! and be calling the school immediately, I dont get it it. My son gets what I call "baited" kids do things to him that they know will get him upset and get a rise out of him, then they laugh at him, and then he gets in trouble. From my experience the "normal kids" are just mean kids.

Candy

From: Esris <julie1013@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sat, January 22, 2011 7:41:37 AMSubject: Re: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

God, it ticks me off how we are typecast as people without empathy when anecdotal evidence indicates that we would literally give the shirts off our backs for anyone who needs it. And meanwhile the “normal†kids are the ones laughing at someone else’s expense. Yep. They have empathy!On 1/22/11 10:35 AM, "Bobbie" <bjbartram@...> wrote:

My son is now 12 and we have the same problem constantly. We have lost a game boy sp, DSI and now a DS. That is in addition to countless other things and any money he ever has. My son even takes his o sibblings' things to "trade" at school. I feel like a prison guard in the mornings going through pat downs and backpack searches to make sure he doesn't have anything. Even though he some how still gets things out of here. It breaks my heart that he feels he has to do this to have friends and even then they are just using him. I have tried for years to explain this to him but, he still doesn't get it. I don't see how a parent isn't worried when their child bring these things home, I know I would be. I would love to hear any suggestions anyone has on this. He

even comes home with out clothing items, hoodies, jackets, he has even tried to "trade" his shoes by wearing another pair and sneaking the pair someone wanted. And of course you can't forget when they start having them to do things they know the aspie will do, just to laugh at them. A few weeks ago one little girl even started talking to him on facebook and had him call her just so when he did she could be really mean to him and then post about it so everyone else could laugh at him. He was devasted and cried after the phone call but doesn't understand what she is doing. We have lots of girls that start sending messages to him and say they like him and come and sit with me in the morning at school and then when he does they are so mean to him and make everyone laugh at him. One girl did this and when he started talking back her "boyfriend" started threating my son.>> I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.> > My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called "friends" took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all

begins? > > First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit "over there" (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said "well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil" ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.> > Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is. > > Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him "oh, it's at

home, I'll bring in tomorrow" and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to "borrow" his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him. > > Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.> -- “The fact that life evolved out of nearly nothing, some 10 billion years after the universe evolved out of literally nothing, is a fact so staggering that I would be mad to attempt words to do it justice.†-- Dawkins

[Guest guest]

Here's an idea that just came to me:

How about having the school put in the IEP a buddy for the kids. If they do it right, it could be a privilege for non-Asperger kids, and something to put on their college whatevers. And especially if they recruit kids who are 'stars' in some way, student council officers, sports heroes, etc.

That way our kids would have a buddy who would stick up for them, and they'd gain respect having the buddy as a friend.

When my daughter was in high school, there was this lovely girl, , with whom she talked. Whenever we saw uptown, she's ask why she didn't call her, and told her to call any time. She was pretty gorgeous, and always with friends. And yet her kindness shone through. had one friend, and that seemed to be enough, although I know she talked with a lot in school. They were probably in a class together.

I thought was great though. I know she was befriending her and not mean or she wouldn't have said these things in front of me.

Francine

Speak with Him Thou for He hearest.

Spirit with Spirit can speak.

Closer is Love than breathing,

Nearer than hands and feet.

(with appreciation for Tennyson)

Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

Hi. I have to tell you how deeply sad I felt after reading your post and the replies of similar situations. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this.

My little guy is 5 and does not have much of an interest in making friends, yet I can see that once he does we are going to be in the same boat.

Does your guy have an IEP yet? If so are theory of mind goals, social goals, pragmatic language goals that target his understanding of these situations included? If not they need to be.

If you don't have a vast understanding of what your son is entitled to I suggest you get as educated as you can by talking to other parents and advocates and reading your state code and books that pertain to your child's disability. The school will rarely tell you what your little guy is entitled to, you have to tell them. Their goal is usually to give the least amount of services in order to save their resources and they will go to great lengths to save money.

TO me this sounds like a form of psychological bullying, and the children are getting away with what they are being allowed to get away with by the adults who are supposed to be monitoring them. I would write a letter, cc ing the director of special services, principal, teacher, case manager and explain what has been happening. Ask for their suggestions and give some of your own :social skill training by a trained professional that has a strong background working with asperger's, goals and objectives relating to this in the IEP, and possibly an aide to oversee that this does not continue. Let them know how serious this form of bullying/trickery is to you. I'd also consult with the Dr. that dx'ed your kiddo.

B

>

> I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.

>

> My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called "friends" took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins?

>

> First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit "over there" (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said "well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil" ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.

>

> Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is.

>

> Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him "oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow" and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to "borrow" his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him.

>

> Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.

>

[Guest guest]

I would wonder whether or not a school could require another student to be

friends with someone in this way.

That would involve having other parents involved as well, and requiring students

to go above and beyond what is required of them in school.

It is a good idea- I just don't think a school could legally write in an IEP

that a student is required to be friends with the person who is in the IEP.

They can require aide's in the classroom- but those are adults.

One thing that might work, is having kids willingly sign up for a buddy program-

kids who might already do buddy jobs around the room.

> & gt;

> & gt; I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any

comments are welcome.

> & gt;

> & gt; My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and

we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately

wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2

more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's gullability and

niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in

today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting

bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff

but....is this were it all begins?

> & gt;

> & gt; First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit

next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go

sit " over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy

said " well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils

called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to

another table. The boy laughed.

> & gt;

> & gt; Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son

couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in

this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son,

he insists that there is.

> & gt;

> & gt; Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that

they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little

toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him " oh,

it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it. One boy

asked to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring

it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them

back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home

in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of

the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that

it was the one my son gave him.

> & gt;

> & gt; Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my

concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school

could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it

will continue.

> & gt;

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, my son has had an IEP for years, not that that means anything at school, I

have called, went running to the school nothing ever changes. We are about to

admit my son into a residential program in another state just to get some help.

He has other problems too, and no one will help me I have taken him to the drs

begged the school for help this is my last hope and I have to send him several

states away for this help. My son is still in pull ups full time and I can't

even get the school to understand this, I was really worried about him changing

for PE class this year with the other kids teachers didn't see it to be a

problem. He is resilient to it all but I don't see how it doesn't just

devastate him.

> >

> > I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any

comments are welcome.

> >

> > My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we

are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately

wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2

more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's gullability and

niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in

today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting

bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff

but....is this were it all begins?

> >

> > First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next

to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit

" over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said

" well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils called

smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another

table. The boy laughed.

> >

> > Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't

be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this

club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he

insists that there is.

> >

> > Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that

they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little

toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him " oh,

it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it. One boy

asked to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring

it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them

back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home

in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of

the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that

it was the one my son gave him.

> >

> > Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my

concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school

could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it

will continue.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Bobbie, I have done the same thing. My son has an IEP and everything thing and nothing seems any better, we just keep dealing witht he same stuff over and over again. We live in CA and these schools are so overcrowded, that I think they just have these kids there because they have to, and as they get older in high school like my son is they just wait for them to quit, or start homeschooling or something, I am also at my wits end, thinking of sending him away somewhere because I just dont know what else to do. It seems like every day is the same fight over and over agin. I am just tired and won out because of all of this stuff, and I have to work full time. Its just too much, I love him very much, but just dont know what else to

do.

Candy

From: Bobbie <bjbartram@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Sun, January 23, 2011 6:15:12 PMSubject: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

Yes, my son has had an IEP for years, not that that means anything at school, I have called, went running to the school nothing ever changes. We are about to admit my son into a residential program in another state just to get some help. He has other problems too, and no one will help me I have taken him to the drs begged the school for help this is my last hope and I have to send him several states away for this help. My son is still in pull ups full time and I can't even get the school to understand this, I was really worried about him changing for PE class this year with the other kids teachers didn't see it to be a problem. He is resilient to it all but I don't see how it doesn't just devastate him.> >> > I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.> > > > My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called "friends" took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins? > > > > First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit "over there" (like 5

tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said "well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil" ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.> > > > Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is. > > > > Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him "oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow" and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to "borrow" his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks

ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him. > > > > Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.> >>

[Guest guest]

You are correct that an IEP only binds an agreement with the SSD and the school proper. You bring up some good advice and options.Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: "herberkids3" <herberkids3@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2011 23:48:36 -0000<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it? I would wonder whether or not a school could require another student to be friends with someone in this way.That would involve having other parents involved as well, and requiring students to go above and beyond what is required of them in school.It is a good idea- I just don't think a school could legally write in an IEP that a student is required to be friends with the person who is in the IEP. They can require aide's in the classroom- but those are adults.One thing that might work, is having kids willingly sign up for a buddy program- kids who might already do buddy jobs around the room. > & gt;> & gt; I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.> & gt; > & gt; My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins? > & gt; > & gt; First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit " over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said " well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.> & gt; > & gt; Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is. > & gt; > & gt; Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him " oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him. > & gt; > & gt; Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.> & gt;>

[Guest guest]

It is the speech pathologist to teach social skills and that can be added to the I.e.p. goals that he will have appropriate conversations (back and fourth) with peers and so the school will have to do there part on teaching the child so he can realize what is appropriate and what not. Are kids don't have that filter how we do and it really sucks. But it can be added to the iep. So it might take whoever (speech pathologist rsp teacher psychologist )to go out there in the playground with him just to teach him. Sent from my HTC on the Now Network from Sprint!----- Reply message -----From: " herberkids3 " <herberkids3@...>Date: Sun, Jan 23, 2011 3:48 pmSubject: Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >

I would wonder whether or not a school could require another student to be friends with someone in this way.

That would involve having other parents involved as well, and requiring students to go above and beyond what is required of them in school.

It is a good idea- I just don't think a school could legally write in an IEP that a student is required to be friends with the person who is in the IEP.

They can require aide's in the classroom- but those are adults.

One thing that might work, is having kids willingly sign up for a buddy program- kids who might already do buddy jobs around the room.

> & gt;

> & gt; I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.

> & gt;

> & gt; My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins?

> & gt;

> & gt; First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit " over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said " well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.

> & gt;

> & gt; Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is.

> & gt;

> & gt; Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him " oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him.

> & gt;

> & gt; Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.

> & gt;

>

[Guest guest]

I also wonder how they do it. The buddy would have to be told about the disabilty and have a pretty good understanding of how to handle things if something arises.

It was mentioned at our last IEP meeting by the speech pathologist that she was suggesting a buddy but it hasn't been clarified yet what she meant. I'm very curious to see how our IEP ends up.

I met a high school girl that did sign up to be a buddy for another high schooler with aspergers. It is a statewide program I think here in CA but when I looked it up it was only for highschoolers, not elementary.

I recently found info on a sort of big brothers organization called Excite Steps (CA) and you can hire them to shadow your child specifically during lunch and recess. They help the child interact with other children etc. It's exactly what we need but I looked into it and it's pretty expensive. : ( Don't know that we can afford that right now.

Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?

I would wonder whether or not a school could require another student to be friends with someone in this way.That would involve having other parents involved as well, and requiring students to go above and beyond what is required of them in school.It is a good idea- I just don't think a school could legally write in an IEP that a student is required to be friends with the person who is in the IEP. They can require aide's in the classroom- but those are adults.One thing that might work, is having kids willingly sign up for a buddy program- kids who might already do buddy jobs around the room. > & gt;> & gt; I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.> & gt; > & gt; My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called "friends" took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins? > & gt; > & gt; First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit "over there" (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said "well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil" ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.> & gt; > & gt; Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is. > & gt; > & gt; Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him "oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow" and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to "borrow" his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him. > & gt; > & gt; Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.> & gt;>

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 8.5.449 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3399 - Release Date: 01/23/11 19:34:00

[Guest guest]

Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions.

>

> I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments

are welcome.

>

> My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we

are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately

wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2

more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's gullability and

niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in

today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting

bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff

but....is this were it all begins?

>

> First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next

to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit

" over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said

" well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils called

smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another

table. The boy laughed.

>

> Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be

in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club.

Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists

that there is.

>

> Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they

are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys

like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him " oh, it's

at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked

to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it

back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back

and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in

his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the

free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it

was the one my son gave him.

>

> Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my

concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school

could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it

will continue.

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this - we are in the middle of creating an IEP. We've had 2

meetings so far and will probaby finish with the 3rd next week. Pretty much all

of the goals are focused on social skills and pragmatics as you mentioned.

This is my biggest concern. I've recently learned how severe his deficit is and

I'm just heart broken for my little guy. I don't even know how he can survive 1

hour let alone a whole day. He comes home so exhausted - mentally. The speech

pathologist told me when she was testing him that he just completely shuts down

everytime she would ask him social questions. The testing was incomplete because

he could never answer the questions over a 3 week period she would try again and

again. Questions like what do you think this woman is thinking (and show him the

picture of the woman etc.) He had no clue unless there were enough props in the

picture to give him lots of clues.

My head is starting to spin. I really don't know what to ask for other than the

speech pathologist to work with him on the obvious. Is there some sort of list

of services that typical Aspergers children have in thier IEPs in the area of

pragmatics?

I thought I would love to have an aide for him but now I'm scared. I hear so

many horror stories. And are there such things as aides that specialize in ASD

kids? If not, what's the point?

>

> Hi. I have to tell you how deeply sad I felt after reading your post and the

replies of similar situations. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this.

> My little guy is 5 and does not have much of an interest in making friends,

yet I can see that once he does we are going to be in the same boat.

> Does your guy have an IEP yet? If so are theory of mind goals, social goals,

pragmatic language goals that target his understanding of these situations

included? If not they need to be.

>

> If you don't have a vast understanding of what your son is entitled to I

suggest you get as educated as you can by talking to other parents and advocates

and reading your state code and books that pertain to your child's disability.

The school will rarely tell you what your little guy is entitled to, you have to

tell them. Their goal is usually to give the least amount of services in order

to save their resources and they will go to great lengths to save money.

>

> TO me this sounds like a form of psychological bullying, and the children are

getting away with what they are being allowed to get away with by the adults who

are supposed to be monitoring them. I would write a letter, cc ing the director

of special services, principal, teacher, case manager and explain what has been

happening. Ask for their suggestions and give some of your own :social skill

training by a trained professional that has a strong background working with

asperger's, goals and objectives relating to this in the IEP, and possibly an

aide to oversee that this does not continue. Let them know how serious this

form of bullying/trickery is to you. I'd also consult with the Dr. that dx'ed

your kiddo.

> B

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]



LOL - wow, I don't think I want the school psychologist out there with him on the playground - he would scare all the other kids away!!! But thanks for this info. The speech pathologist is awesome and a real sweetie so that would be great if it falls into her responsibility to work with my son on the playground.

Re: Is your Aspiechild being taken advatage by classmates and how do you handle it?<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >

I would wonder whether or not a school could require another student to be friends with someone in this way.That would involve having other parents involved as well, and requiring students to go above and beyond what is required of them in school.It is a good idea- I just don't think a school could legally write in an IEP that a student is required to be friends with the person who is in the IEP. They can require aide's in the classroom- but those are adults.One thing that might work, is having kids willingly sign up for a buddy program- kids who might already do buddy jobs around the room. > & gt;> & gt; I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any comments are welcome.> & gt; > & gt; My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been told about 2 more that - so called "friends" took advantage of my son's gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins? > & gt; > & gt; First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to go sit "over there" (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy said "well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil" ( one of those scented pencils called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to another table. The boy laughed.> & gt; > & gt; Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son, he insists that there is. > & gt; > & gt; Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell him "oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow" and of couse they never bring it. One boy asked to "borrow" his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1 of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting that it was the one my son gave him. > & gt; > & gt; Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all know it will continue.> & gt;>

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[Guest guest]

I can so relate to this whole conversation as my son experienced huge

psychological and verbal bullying in elementary school. We did eventually get

it dealt with but it took a while. Two things seemed to work. First, with my

permission the teacher talked to his class when he was absent and explained his

disability and told them in no uncertain terms that bullying him would not be

tolerated. Second, when it did occur despite this, the principal, who I must

say was very supportive, hauled the offenders in, called the parents and even in

some cases suspended repeat offenders. It didn't take long before they got the

message. It started again in high school and the vp told the guilty kids " this

is your 1 warning, after this you get suspended " . If you can't get anything out

of your vp or principal, I would go to your school board trustee to get

involved. Hope that helps,

W.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; I'm particulary interested in those with young ones but of course any

comments are welcome.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; My 6 year old started school this year, was diagnosed with aspergers

and we are in the middle of IEP process now. My son has a big heart and

desperately wants friends. Recently I've witnessed 2 occasions and I've been

told about 2 more that - so called " friends " took advantage of my son's

gullability and niceness. It broke my heart. I want to make sure I'm not over

reacting but in today's world and all the news articles I read about autistic

children getting bullied or assualted it has me concerned. Granted this is just

first grade stuff but....is this were it all begins?

> > & gt;

> > & gt; First was a boy that my son considers a great friend - they usually

sit next to eachother in class but on this particular day the boy told Luke to

go sit " over there " (like 5 tables aways) and my son didn't want to but the boy

said " well if you do, I'll let smell my pencil " ( one of those scented pencils

called smencils). My son thought that was great and went ahead to move to

another table. The boy laughed.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Another time the same boy told him about a secret club but my son

couldn't be in it unless he paid him $5.00. My son really really wants to be in

this club. Of course there is none but when I try to gently explain to my son,

he insists that there is.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Other kids are starting to catch on that he is so nieve and gullable

that they are asking him to trade things like fruit chews, cookies or even

little toys like bakugan - but they don't have the item to trade him and tell

him " oh, it's at home, I'll bring in tomorrow " and of couse they never bring it.

One boy asked to " borrow " his 3 bakugan and they agreed for just 2 days and then

bring it back. Well, that was 4 weeks ago. I've asked the boy to please bring

them back and he has told me he's still looking for them....I sent a nice letter

home in his backpack to try to let the parents know and the boy returned with 1

of the free, cheap, Mc's versions instead of the 3 he borrowed insisting

that it was the one my son gave him.

> > & gt;

> > & gt; Anyone else experience similar situations? I've asked them to mention

my concern somehow in the IEP but I'm not even sure if they can or what the

school could do about it. Again at this point it's just kid stuff but we all

know it will continue.

> > & gt;

> >

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> Version: 8.5.449 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3399 - Release Date: 01/23/11

19:34:00

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