Re: Getting tested as an adult?

January 19, 2011

I am glad you posted that. I have gone through the same thing to the point of obsessing on projects and trouble dealing with people. I have 6 children and three show the same symptons. I am raising my grand daughter who is aspie and me and her get along perfectly. It's like we have our own little world that no one can be in because they don't understand us.I started noticing how she reacts to other children (she is 5) and how they react to her. She struggles. I stared thinking about how I react to people and also how confussed I have gotten in the past at how people have reacted towards me. It makes sense that we are the same as the children. How we have made it as far as we have in life, I will never know. I just hope we can learn through our own struggles to make things easier or at

least understand our special children so their lives will be more fulfilling.From: herberkids3 <herberkids3@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, January 19, 2011 6:56:31 AMSubject: Getting tested as an adult?

Last Spring when I was approached by my daughter's school about her possibly being an aspie, I did my homework. I watched videos, read articles, read blogs, etc.

During that time, I came to a startling conclusion that she's a lot like I was when I was a child. The more I see the 'symptoms' in her, the more I see them in myself. I have always had a very hard time making new friends. I have to force myself to talk to strangers. I'm exceedingly non-confrontational for that reason alone. I dislike talking on the phone, or directly to people. I have a list of odd behavior I had never considered odd before (I won't go into detail). I fixate on topics involving history, and when something catches my eye, I research everything I can about that topic. I find it extremely difficult to work with other people, because I can't stand it if someone is doing something differently. I tend to try and take charge if I am working with other people. I've been a SAHM for almost 12 years now because of it. I run a group about being frugal, and when people ask questions, I do everything I can to find the answer in as much detail

as I can (ie: if someone in a specific county is looking for different public agencies to apply to for assistance that isn't state based, I'll find it, list it by probability of being accepted, give them phone numbers, advice, and follow up with them to see if that agency was able to help).

I'm wondering if any of you have ever noticed traits in yourself or partner after receiving a child's diagnosis. Has anyone been diagnosed as an adult on the board? What are the benefits of being tested as an adult?

I feel like at this point, I am who I am- whether I have Asperger's or not, it wouldn't change who I am. At this point I'm set in whatever quirks I have, and I've learned to compensate socially.

At some point several years ago, I made a big transition in talking to strangers. Up until a few years ago, I would answer when spoken directly to, but wouldn't insert myself into a conversation. I started forcing myself to, and now, it's the opposite. I tend to take over the conversation by talking as much as possible, and I find it hard to stop. I'm still nervous the entire time, but I found that I can get into a conversation that way, as opposed to sitting there not talking- though I would still rather just not talk at all.

And if I did- where would I even start? The school did everything for Gillian, so I didn't have to deal with outside agencies at all.

So- thoughts? Advice?

January 19, 2011

Yep Â Reading about my son' s Aspergers was like reading about

me.Â I have never been officially diagnosed, but my son's

paediatrician and psychologist both assume he inherited it from me.Â

I am not sure if I would bother with being formally diagnosed.Â

Informal tests (as in online or in books about ASD) show a very

strong tendenacy in that direction.

On 20/01/2011 1:56 AM, herberkids3 wrote:

Â

Last Spring when I was approached by my daughter's school

about her possibly being an aspie, I did my homework. I

watched videos, read articles, read blogs, etc.

During that time, I came to a startling conclusion that

she's a lot like I was when I was a child. The more I see

the 'symptoms' in her, the more I see them in myself. I

have always had a very hard time making new friends. I

have to force myself to talk to strangers. I'm exceedingly

non-confrontational for that reason alone. I dislike

talking on the phone, or directly to people. I have a list

of odd behavior I had never considered odd before (I won't

go into detail). I fixate on topics involving history, and

when something catches my eye, I research everything I can

about that topic. I find it extremely difficult to work

with other people, because I can't stand it if someone is

doing something differently. I tend to try and take charge

if I am working with other people. I've been a SAHM for

almost 12 years now because of it. I run a group

about being frugal, and when people ask questions, I do

everything I can to find the answer in as much detail as I

can (ie: if someo! ne in a specific county is looking for

different public agencies to apply to for assistance that

isn't state based, I'll find it, list it by probability of

being accepted, give them phone numbers, advice, and

follow up with them to see if that agency was able to

help).

I'm wondering if any of you have ever noticed traits in

yourself or partner after receiving a child's diagnosis.

Has anyone been diagnosed as an adult on the board? What

are the benefits of being tested as an adult?

I feel like at this point, I am who I am- whether I have

Asperger's or not, it wouldn't change who I am. At this

point I'm set in whatever quirks I have, and I've learned

to compensate socially.

At some point several years ago, I made a big transition

in talking to strangers. Up until a few years ago, I would

answer when spoken directly to, but wouldn't insert myself

into a conversation. I started forcing myself to, and now,

it's the opposite. I tend to take over the conversation by

talking as much as possible, and I find it hard to stop.

I'm still nervous the entire time, but I found that I can

get into a conversation that way, as opposed to sitting

there not talking- though I would still rather just not

talk at all.

And if I did- where would I even start? The school did

everything for Gillian, so I didn't have to deal with

outside agencies at all.

So- thoughts? Advice?

January 19, 2011

Oh yeah! My son is ten, and is WAY too much like me! My husband

thinks I'm making too much of the possible Asperger's, over

medicalizing it. In all honesty, the only reason we're pursuing

assessment is not the label, but to find the tools that Isaac can

use to be the best Isaac he can be! I never reached my potential,

because I didn't know how, and I do NOT want that for my son! He has

way too much potential to waste it, we just need to learn to channel

it!

Eleanor, San , CA

On 01/19/2011 06:56 , herberkids3 wrote:

Last Spring when I was approached by my daughter's school

about her possibly being an aspie, I did my homework. I

watched videos, read articles, read blogs, etc.

During that time, I came to a startling conclusion that

she's a lot like I was when I was a child. The more I see

the 'symptoms' in her, the more I see them in myself. I

have always had a very hard time making new friends. I

have to force myself to talk to strangers. I'm exceedingly

non-confrontational for that reason alone. I dislike

talking on the phone, or directly to people. I have a list

of odd behavior I had never considered odd before (I won't

go into detail). I fixate on topics involving history, and

when something catches my eye, I research everything I can

about that topic. I find it extremely difficult to work

with other people, because I can't stand it if someone is

doing something differently. I tend to try and take charge

if I am working with other people. I've been a SAHM for

almost 12 years now because of it. I run a group

about being frugal, and when people ask questions, I do

everything I can to find the answer in as much detail as I

can (ie: if someone in a specific county is looking for

different public agencies to apply to for assistance that

isn't state based, I'll find it, list it by probability of

being accepted, give them phone numbers, advice, and

follow up with them to see if that agency was able to

help).

I'm wondering if any of you have ever noticed traits in

yourself or partner after receiving a child's diagnosis.

Has anyone been diagnosed as an adult on the board? What

are the benefits of being tested as an adult?

I feel like at this point, I am who I am- whether I have

Asperger's or not, it wouldn't change who I am. At this

point I'm set in whatever quirks I have, and I've learned

to compensate socially.

At some point several years ago, I made a big transition

in talking to strangers. Up until a few years ago, I would

answer when spoken directly to, but wouldn't insert myself

into a conversation. I started forcing myself to, and now,

it's the opposite. I tend to take over the conversation by

talking as much as possible, and I find it hard to stop.

I'm still nervous the entire time, but I found that I can

get into a conversation that way, as opposed to sitting

there not talking- though I would still rather just not

talk at all.

And if I did- where would I even start? The school did

everything for Gillian, so I didn't have to deal with

outside agencies at all.

So- thoughts? Advice?

January 20, 2011

Same here. Except the circumstances of my life were also very unusual,

so any social awkwardness, etc., were always attributed to that.

As an adult, do you find yourself asking " what did I say or do wrong? "

and have no idea? Why did the conversation stop or become stilted,

etc.? I too would appreciate thoughts on this. And you know, in

true aspie fashion,

if I don't get any responses I will figure that I just did it again. LOL!

On 1/19/2011 6:56 AM, herberkids3 wrote:

> Last Spring when I was approached by my daughter's school about her possibly

being an aspie, I did my homework. I watched videos, read articles, read blogs,

etc.

>

> During that time, I came to a startling conclusion that she's a lot like I was

when I was a child. The more I see the 'symptoms' in her, the more I see them in

myself. I have always had a very hard time making new friends. I have to force

myself to talk to strangers. I'm exceedingly non-confrontational for that reason

alone. I dislike talking on the phone, or directly to people. I have a list of

odd behavior I had never considered odd before (I won't go into detail). I

fixate on topics involving history, and when something catches my eye, I

research everything I can about that topic. I find it extremely difficult to

work with other people, because I can't stand it if someone is doing something

differently. I tend to try and take charge if I am working with other people.

I've been a SAHM for almost 12 years now because of it. I run a group

about being frugal, and when people ask questions, I do everything I can to find

the answer in as much detail as I can (ie: if someone in a specific county is

looking for different public agencies to apply to for assistance that isn't

state based, I'll find it, list it by probability of being accepted, give them

phone numbers, advice, and follow up with them to see if that agency was able to

help).

>

> I'm wondering if any of you have ever noticed traits in yourself or partner

after receiving a child's diagnosis. Has anyone been diagnosed as an adult on

the board? What are the benefits of being tested as an adult?

>

> I feel like at this point, I am who I am- whether I have Asperger's or not, it

wouldn't change who I am. At this point I'm set in whatever quirks I have, and

I've learned to compensate socially.

>

> At some point several years ago, I made a big transition in talking to

strangers. Up until a few years ago, I would answer when spoken directly to, but

wouldn't insert myself into a conversation. I started forcing myself to, and

now, it's the opposite. I tend to take over the conversation by talking as much

as possible, and I find it hard to stop. I'm still nervous the entire time, but

I found that I can get into a conversation that way, as opposed to sitting there

not talking- though I would still rather just not talk at all.

>

> And if I did- where would I even start? The school did everything for Gillian,

so I didn't have to deal with outside agencies at all.

>

> So- thoughts? Advice?

>

January 20, 2011

My husband and I are the parents of a high functioning ASD, 4 yr. old child. Because of him we realize that my husband is very likely Asperger's. We would like to get him tested and maybe some on how to interact in social situations. He does very poorly in social situations to the point that often he's made his sister-in-law cry. It is stressful for me to have company over because he has no filter on what he says but then doesn't realize he's even said anything that wrong. So if anyone knows a good doctor, clinic, etc for him to see in the northeast OH region please contact me privately? Thanks in advance, GrayFrom: Seeley <mmseeley@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Wed, January 19, 2011 8:41:16 PMSubject: Re: Getting tested as an adult?

Same here. Except the circumstances of my life were also very unusual,

so any social awkwardness, etc., were always attributed to that.

As an adult, do you find yourself asking "what did I say or do wrong?"

and have no idea? Why did the conversation stop or become stilted,

etc.? I too would appreciate thoughts on this. And you know, in

true aspie fashion,

if I don't get any responses I will figure that I just did it again. LOL!

On 1/19/2011 6:56 AM, herberkids3 wrote:

> Last Spring when I was approached by my daughter's school about her possibly being an aspie, I did my homework. I watched videos, read articles, read blogs, etc.

>

> During that time, I came to a startling conclusion that she's a lot like I was when I was a child. The more I see the 'symptoms' in her, the more I see them in myself. I have always had a very hard time making new friends. I have to force myself to talk to strangers. I'm exceedingly non-confrontational for that reason alone. I dislike talking on the phone, or directly to people. I have a list of odd behavior I had never considered odd before (I won't go into detail). I fixate on topics involving history, and when something catches my eye, I research everything I can about that topic. I find it extremely difficult to work with other people, because I can't stand it if someone is doing something differently. I tend to try and take charge if I am working with other people. I've been a SAHM for almost 12 years now because of it. I run a group about being frugal, and when people ask questions, I do everything I can to find the answer in as much

detail as I can (ie: if someone in a specific county is looking for different public agencies to apply to for assistance that isn't state based, I'll find it, list it by probability of being accepted, give them phone numbers, advice, and follow up with them to see if that agency was able to help).

>

> I'm wondering if any of you have ever noticed traits in yourself or partner after receiving a child's diagnosis. Has anyone been diagnosed as an adult on the board? What are the benefits of being tested as an adult?

>

> I feel like at this point, I am who I am- whether I have Asperger's or not, it wouldn't change who I am. At this point I'm set in whatever quirks I have, and I've learned to compensate socially.

>

> At some point several years ago, I made a big transition in talking to strangers. Up until a few years ago, I would answer when spoken directly to, but wouldn't insert myself into a conversation. I started forcing myself to, and now, it's the opposite. I tend to take over the conversation by talking as much as possible, and I find it hard to stop. I'm still nervous the entire time, but I found that I can get into a conversation that way, as opposed to sitting there not talking- though I would still rather just not talk at all.

>

> And if I did- where would I even start? The school did everything for Gillian, so I didn't have to deal with outside agencies at all.

>

> So- thoughts? Advice?

>

January 20, 2011

I'm kinda thinking that looking for the official diagnosis is not

the best investment of your emotional energies. I would recommend

looking for someone who is willing to treat him, teaching him the

social niceties and that sort of thing, giving him the tools. Even

if you have him go through all sorts of testing and that sorta

thing, you will still need the tools, and most of the tools are good

for ANYONE. So maybe start with the assumption that your hubby is

AS, and now what?

Eleanor, San , CA

On 01/19/2011 18:14 , Gray wrote:

Â

My husband and I are the parents of a

high functioning ASD, 4 yr. old child. Because of him we

realize that my husband is very likely Asperger's. We

would like to get him tested and maybe some on how to

interact in social situations. He does very poorly in

social situations to the point that often he's made his

sister-in-law cry. It is stressful for me to have company

over because he has no filter on what he says but then

doesn't realize he's even said anything that wrong.

January 20, 2011

I completely understand what you are going through . I have a 6yr old with autism/mito and 4 yr old with aspergers and a reciently diagnosed husband with aspergers after the dx of autism with the 6 yr old and I started reading more and more I knew my husband had it he was tested where my daughter was he has severe repetitive behavior and social issues even with family as a kid he was dx with ADHD OCD AND TURETTES . He now says he know why he was different when he was growing up. When my son came along I did not think he had it he is very smart and intelligent. But little clues came my way . I really was shocked but I knew the risk is higher in boys than girls.____kristi-- Sent from my Palm PixiOn Jan 20, 2011 12:10 AM, Eleanor Oster <pearl@...> wrote:

I'm kinda thinking that looking for the official diagnosis is not

the best investment of your emotional energies. I would recommend

looking for someone who is willing to treat him, teaching him the

social niceties and that sort of thing, giving him the tools. Even

if you have him go through all sorts of testing and that sorta

thing, you will still need the tools, and most of the tools are good

for ANYONE. So maybe start with the assumption that your hubby is

AS, and now what?

Eleanor, San , CA

On 01/19/2011 18:14 , Gray wrote:

My husband and I are the parents of a

high functioning ASD, 4 yr. old child. Because of him we

realize that my husband is very likely Asperger's. We

would like to get him tested and maybe some on how to

interact in social situations. He does very poorly in

social situations to the point that often he's made his

sister-in-law cry. It is stressful for me to have company

over because he has no filter on what he says but then

doesn't realize he's even said anything that wrong.

January 20, 2011

Yes, yes and yes! I've pursued getting tested myself actually. It's very difficult as an adult and on top of that as a female because female aspies have different attributes than male aspies. For example we're able to compensate more easily so people automatically assume can't have aspergers. Little do they know that it took 32 years to even get this functioning socially.

I'm a computer programmer (love computers) and stuff like having conversations with people is a completely cognitive process. I have so much in common with my HFA son and feel completely in sync with him. From all of my reading and research I know I have an " autistic brain " . Anytime I take those self assessment testing I end up on the spectrum. But alas, I've visited a few psychologist/psychiatrists now and none of them would give me the diagnosis. So I sort of consign myself to being more of the autism continuum.

Another interesting thing I find is that if I work my way up through my family, I recognize it upwards. My father is a network engineer and my grandfather was an architect who had parkinson's later in life which is not unlike autism.

Sorry to blab. It's a fascinating thought but I think it will be very difficult to find someone who has the expertise to diagnose an adult female. You'd probably have to do research and travel to a real expert in the field. If you're interested look up the autism women's network, it's run by a woman who was diagnosed late in life.

Good luck with your travels!

January 20, 2011

Eleanor, it strikes me that you've accomplished a lot just by realizing

that he's probably AS. I know some adults who clearly have AS

qualities, but will probably continue in the same old patterns because

they don't realize it.

I checked out the " social thinking " website that someone on this board

suggested not long ago--- I think it could be helpful.

Good luck!

On 1/19/2011 7:35 PM, Eleanor Oster wrote:

> I'm kinda thinking that looking for the official diagnosis is not the

> best investment of your emotional energies. I would recommend looking

> for someone who is willing to treat him, teaching him the social

> niceties and that sort of thing, giving him the tools. Even if you

> have him go through all sorts of testing and that sorta thing, you

> will still need the tools, and most of the tools are good for ANYONE.

> So maybe start with the assumption that your hubby is AS, and now what?

>

> Eleanor, San , CA

>

> On 01/19/2011 18:14 , Gray wrote:

>> My husband and I are the parents of a high functioning ASD, 4 yr. old

>> child. Because of him we realize that my husband is very likely

>> Asperger's. We would like to get him tested and maybe some on how to

>> interact in social situations. He does very poorly in social

>> situations to the point that often he's made his sister-in-law cry.

>> It is stressful for me to have company over because he has no filter

>> on what he says but then doesn't realize he's even said anything that

>> wrong.

>

January 21, 2011

Hi - I have 23 yr old son that has been struggling socially and academically

with anxiety and depression which we are pretty sure now is because he is an

Aspie...We are really floundering trying to get a diagnosis and I would really

like it if someone could post the social thinking website info again? It

sounds like a great starting place!

A concerned and frustrated Dad - Mark

> >> My husband and I are the parents of a high functioning ASD, 4 yr. old

> >> child. Because of him we realize that my husband is very likely

> >> Asperger's. We would like to get him tested and maybe some on how to

> >> interact in social situations. He does very poorly in social

> >> situations to the point that often he's made his sister-in-law cry.

> >> It is stressful for me to have company over because he has no filter

> >> on what he says but then doesn't realize he's even said anything that

> >> wrong.

> >

>

January 21, 2011

I often ask what did I say or do wrong because I honestly have no idea. I didn't know that was another trait.Sent from my Cellular South BlackBerry® SmartphoneFrom: Seeley <mmseeley@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2011 17:41:16 -0800<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: Getting tested as an adult? Same here. Except the circumstances of my life were also very unusual, so any social awkwardness, etc., were always attributed to that.As an adult, do you find yourself asking " what did I say or do wrong? " and have no idea? Why did the conversation stop or become stilted, etc.? I too would appreciate thoughts on this. And you know, in true aspie fashion,if I don't get any responses I will figure that I just did it again. LOL!On 1/19/2011 6:56 AM, herberkids3 wrote:> Last Spring when I was approached by my daughter's school about her possibly being an aspie, I did my homework. I watched videos, read articles, read blogs, etc.>> During that time, I came to a startling conclusion that she's a lot like I was when I was a child. The more I see the 'symptoms' in her, the more I see them in myself. I have always had a very hard time making new friends. I have to force myself to talk to strangers. I'm exceedingly non-confrontational for that reason alone. I dislike talking on the phone, or directly to people. I have a list of odd behavior I had never considered odd before (I won't go into detail). I fixate on topics involving history, and when something catches my eye, I research everything I can about that topic. I find it extremely difficult to work with other people, because I can't stand it if someone is doing something differently. I tend to try and take charge if I am working with other people. I've been a SAHM for almost 12 years now because of it. I run a group about being frugal, and when people ask questions, I do everything I can to find the answer in as much detail as I can (ie: if someone in a specific county is looking for different public agencies to apply to for assistance that isn't state based, I'll find it, list it by probability of being accepted, give them phone numbers, advice, and follow up with them to see if that agency was able to help).>>> I'm wondering if any of you have ever noticed traits in yourself or partner after receiving a child's diagnosis. Has anyone been diagnosed as an adult on the board? What are the benefits of being tested as an adult?>> I feel like at this point, I am who I am- whether I have Asperger's or not, it wouldn't change who I am. At this point I'm set in whatever quirks I have, and I've learned to compensate socially.>> At some point several years ago, I made a big transition in talking to strangers. Up until a few years ago, I would answer when spoken directly to, but wouldn't insert myself into a conversation. I started forcing myself to, and now, it's the opposite. I tend to take over the conversation by talking as much as possible, and I find it hard to stop. I'm still nervous the entire time, but I found that I can get into a conversation that way, as opposed to sitting there not talking- though I would still rather just not talk at all.>> And if I did- where would I even start? The school did everything for Gillian, so I didn't have to deal with outside agencies at all.>> So- thoughts? Advice?>>>

January 21, 2011

My youngest son was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 10 years old, and now we are suspecting our 16 year old son may have an Autism Spectrum Disorder too. We are getting him tested on Monday. He will be an adult next year, and if he has this, he will have been diagnosed really late.

Jenn

On Fri, Jan 21, 2011 at 12:35 PM, <brendansmommy0920@...> wrote:

I often ask what did I say or do wrong because I honestly have no idea. I didn't know that was another trait. Sent from my Cellular South BlackBerry® Smartphone