Re: New Born Baby

[Guest guest]

I agree that any baby, even unborn should have all the rights of every person.

That said, there is an agency who helps birthparents place their disabled baby

for adoption with families who can accept the disability they have or may be

born with.

www.chask.org

If you're trying to place your baby for adoption (or were planning to raise your

child) and find out he/she may have a serious birth defect, contact CHASK. They

have families waiting to adopt babies with special needs. They even have

families on their webpages that you can choose from.

I don't work for CHASK but I was one of their families. We now have ten kids,

none through CHASK, but seven of them are adopted from foster care and have

various medical and/or psychological issues including cerebral palsy and one

baby with a hole in his heart.

Every child deserves to live. Every child deserves a family.

Mom4girls5

[Guest guest]

I am uncomfortable with the idea we must do everything to help every

child born.  In a world of limited resources, we do have to ask if

helping one child is the best use of those resources.  I am equally

uncomfortable with the idea that at the other end of life we must

prolong life as far as possible, no matter what the cost.  Money we

spend on one person cannot then be spent on another.  Surely we need

to consider the qualityof life of the person, and the flow-on effect

from the decision to do everything for everyone.  In a world where

so many healthy children die from starvation and disease, to spend

huge amounts on helping children (or the aged) to linger on with

minimal quality of life seems absurd.  Neither good health nor long

life are rights.  They may be things we sincerely wish for everyone,

but they are not rights.

On 10/11/2010 12:25 PM, Cheryl wrote:

 

I agree that any baby, even unborn should have all the

rights of every person. That said, there is an agency who

helps birthparents place their disabled baby for adoption

with families who can accept the disability they have or

may be born with.

www.chask.org

If you're trying to place your baby for adoption (or were

planning to raise your child) and find out he/she may have

a serious birth defect, contact CHASK. They have families

waiting to adopt babies with special needs. They even have

families on their webpages that you can choose from.

I don't work for CHASK but I was one of their families. We

now have ten kids, none through CHASK, but seven of them

are adopted from foster care and have various medical

and/or psychological issues including cerebral palsy and

one baby with a hole in his heart.

Every child deserves to live. Every child deserves a

family.

Mom4girls5

[Guest guest]

I believe this is an argument in preparation to the argument against abortion.

It is only a tiny step from presenting horrific stories re newborns, to

presenting horrific stories re preborns. This is a site for support and

information about children with Autism and Aspergers Treatment. Let us not get suckered into

fight re abortion.

Priscilla

>

> Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born with disability.

> Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether he/she is normal or

> disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human society. They should be

.........................

[Guest guest]

If we do not treat every child who is born or do not offer all we can to someone

elderly because of the cost, how do we get that money sent to the children who

don't have enough food?

Who should get to make the choice of who gets the medical care? Should we set an

age at which we let people die because they are no longer useful? Should we also

provide euthenasia for the elderly, that is the next step?

Do you have a child with autism or asperber's or ??? Who should get to decide if

your child gets medical care?

Just curious on your ideas on these things . . .

Mom4girls5

> >

> > I agree that any baby, even unborn should have all the rights of every

> > person. That said, there is an agency who helps birthparents place

> > their disabled baby for adoption with families who can accept the

> > disability they have or may be born with.

> >

> > www.chask.org

> >

> > If you're trying to place your baby for adoption (or were planning to

> > raise your child) and find out he/she may have a serious birth defect,

> > contact CHASK. They have families waiting to adopt babies with special

> > needs. They even have families on their webpages that you can choose from.

> >

> > I don't work for CHASK but I was one of their families. We now have

> > ten kids, none through CHASK, but seven of them are adopted from

> > foster care and have various medical and/or psychological issues

> > including cerebral palsy and one baby with a hole in his heart.

> >

> > Every child deserves to live. Every child deserves a family.

> >

> > Mom4girls5

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I never said we should debate abortion, although I don't believe in it. There

are agencies who are willing to help people with their preborn and born babies

who have " issues. " I'm just asking that people consider it.

Do you have a child with autism or asperger's or ??? Do you love child anyway?

Mom4girls5

> >

> > Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born with disability.

> > Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether he/she is normal

or

> > disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human society. They should

be ........................

>

[Guest guest]

I have a child with aspergers and ADD, and I also have both.  I have

also worked in a hospital and seen people linger on long after any

quality of life - or even awareness of life - is left because their

relatives insist that their life must be prolonged as long as

possible.  I intend to make sure I leave written instructions that

my kids and/or the doctors are not to do that if I end up in that

situation.  If the choice is between spending $1million on a large

number of kids to improve their quality of life and/or their

educational opportunities, or spending it on one or two new-born

babies who have little chance of ever living independently, then I

want whoever has the choice to make the first choice.  Resources are

limited, so we have to use them wisely.  I am not in favour of

active euthenasia in most cases, but I also do not support

prolonging life when there is no real possibility of recovery or of

improvement.  The ability to do something does not in any way

translate directly to either the wisdom or morality of doing so.  To

say 'we must do everything we can, no matter what the cost' leaves

unanswered too many questions, not only about whether we should do

everytthing possible, but just who is bearing the cost? 

If you are not aware of how to get money to children who are dying

from lack of food or clean water, looking up 'charities' in either

the phone book or google will give you lots of options. 

On 16/11/2010 3:29 AM, Cheryl wrote:

 

If we do not treat every child who is born or do not

offer all we can to someone elderly because of the cost,

how do we get that money sent to the children who don't

have enough food?

Who should get to make the choice of who gets the medical

care? Should we set an age at which we let people die

because they are no longer useful? Should we also provide

euthenasia for the elderly, that is the next step?

Do you have a child with autism or asperber's or ??? Who

should get to decide if your child gets medical care?

Just curious on your ideas on these things . . .

Mom4girls5

> >

> > I agree that any baby, even unborn should have

all the rights of every

> > person. That said, there is an agency who helps

birthparents place

> > their disabled baby for adoption with families

who can accept the

> > disability they have or may be born with.

> >

> > www.chask.org

> >

> > If you're trying to place your baby for adoption

(or were planning to

> > raise your child) and find out he/she may have a

serious birth defect,

> > contact CHASK. They have families waiting to

adopt babies with special

> > needs. They even have families on their webpages

that you can choose from.

> >

> > I don't work for CHASK but I was one of their

families. We now have

> > ten kids, none through CHASK, but seven of them

are adopted from

> > foster care and have various medical and/or

psychological issues

> > including cerebral palsy and one baby with a

hole in his heart.

> >

> > Every child deserves to live. Every child

deserves a family.

> >

> > Mom4girls5

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I could never have aborted my son! When I was 4 months pregnant with him, we found out he had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the brain). It can cause severe birth defects, even death, the doctor gave us the abortion option, we didn't believe in it, and could never do that to any of our kids!

 

The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but he was diagnosed with Aspergers and Tourette's last year. My son has taught me a lot about uncondtional love and forgiveness, that I believe no one else could ever teach me. My son is a blessing from God, as I believe all these kids with disabilties are.

 

Jenn

On Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at 9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...> wrote:

 

I never said we should debate abortion, although I don't believe in it. There are agencies who are willing to help people with their preborn and born babies who have " issues. " I'm just asking that people consider it.

Do you have a child with autism or asperger's or ??? Do you love child anyway?Mom4girls5> >> > Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born with disability.

> > Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether he/she is normal or > > disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human society. They should be ........................>

[Guest guest]

I could never have aborted my son! When I was 4 months pregnant with him, we found out he had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the brain). It can cause severe birth defects, even death, the doctor gave us the abortion option, we didn't believe in it, and could never do that to any of our kids!

 

The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but he was diagnosed with Aspergers and Tourette's last year. My son has taught me a lot about uncondtional love and forgiveness, that I believe no one else could ever teach me. My son is a blessing from God, as I believe all these kids with disabilties are.

 

Jenn

On Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at 9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...> wrote:

 

I never said we should debate abortion, although I don't believe in it. There are agencies who are willing to help people with their preborn and born babies who have " issues. " I'm just asking that people consider it.

Do you have a child with autism or asperger's or ??? Do you love child anyway?Mom4girls5> >> > Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born with disability.

> > Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether he/she is normal or > > disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human society. They should be ........................>

[Guest guest]

I agree children with disabilities are a blessing. My son is 5 and mildly Autistic and at first I didn't think that i could handle a child like him. But he has taught me to look at the world in a totally different way, if i could have known that he would be like this either before he was born or even as a newborn I would do everything in my power to make sure he could live as "normal" a life as possible. I was told with my 7 year old daughter that she could have been born with Spina Bifida and they day after she was born I was told she could have Downs Syndrome - here we are 7 years later and she's a perfect 7 year old. I would hate to think that there are people who would have said to never give her the chance because look what I would have missed out on. I recently gave

birth 3 months ago to my 3rd child and to be honest when I found out i was pregnant I wasn't too sure that I was going to go through with this pregnancy, I was scared to have another child with Autism but the more I looked at my other son and the more I thought about it I knew I could handle it and would do whatever it took. I am sad to hear when parents choose to give there special needs children up for adoption or don't think that they should be given the chance at life. I believe that God knows what you are capapble of handling and gave you that precious gift to take care of.

From: Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 7:43:13 PMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

I could never have aborted my son! When I was 4 months pregnant with him, we found out he had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the brain). It can cause severe birth defects, even death, the doctor gave us the abortion option, we didn't believe in it, and could never do that to any of our kids!

The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but he was diagnosed with Aspergers and Tourette's last year. My son has taught me a lot about uncondtional love and forgiveness, that I believe no one else could ever teach me. My son is a blessing from God, as I believe all these kids with disabilties are.

Jenn

On Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at 9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...> wrote:

I never said we should debate abortion, although I don't believe in it. There are agencies who are willing to help people with their preborn and born babies who have "issues." I'm just asking that people consider it.Do you have a child with autism or asperger's or ??? Do you love child anyway?Mom4girls5> >> > Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born with disability.> > Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether he/she is normal or > > disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human society. They should be ........................>

[Guest guest]

I agree children with disabilities are a blessing. My son is 5 and mildly Autistic and at first I didn't think that i could handle a child like him. But he has taught me to look at the world in a totally different way, if i could have known that he would be like this either before he was born or even as a newborn I would do everything in my power to make sure he could live as "normal" a life as possible. I was told with my 7 year old daughter that she could have been born with Spina Bifida and they day after she was born I was told she could have Downs Syndrome - here we are 7 years later and she's a perfect 7 year old. I would hate to think that there are people who would have said to never give her the chance because look what I would have missed out on. I recently gave

birth 3 months ago to my 3rd child and to be honest when I found out i was pregnant I wasn't too sure that I was going to go through with this pregnancy, I was scared to have another child with Autism but the more I looked at my other son and the more I thought about it I knew I could handle it and would do whatever it took. I am sad to hear when parents choose to give there special needs children up for adoption or don't think that they should be given the chance at life. I believe that God knows what you are capapble of handling and gave you that precious gift to take care of.

From: Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 7:43:13 PMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

I could never have aborted my son! When I was 4 months pregnant with him, we found out he had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the brain). It can cause severe birth defects, even death, the doctor gave us the abortion option, we didn't believe in it, and could never do that to any of our kids!

The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but he was diagnosed with Aspergers and Tourette's last year. My son has taught me a lot about uncondtional love and forgiveness, that I believe no one else could ever teach me. My son is a blessing from God, as I believe all these kids with disabilties are.

Jenn

On Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at 9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...> wrote:

I never said we should debate abortion, although I don't believe in it. There are agencies who are willing to help people with their preborn and born babies who have "issues." I'm just asking that people consider it.Do you have a child with autism or asperger's or ??? Do you love child anyway?Mom4girls5> >> > Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born with disability.> > Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether he/she is normal or > > disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human society. They should be ........................>

[Guest guest]

Having a child with disabilities is good for some people, but if you

have a look at the statistics for failed marriages as well as

considering the effects on other kids, I would hesitate to draw the

conclusion that whatever child you get, it is God's will that the

child should have disabilities and you are capable of handling the

situation.  I think people with kids with disabilities have enough

stress without adding the guilt of them not living up to God's

expectations.  Just because something is does not mean it is God's

will that it should be.

On 16/11/2010 3:02 PM, Brezen wrote:

 

I agree children with disabilities are a blessing. 

My son is 5 and mildly Autistic and at first I didn't

think that i could handle a child like him.  But he has

taught me to look at the world in a totally different

way, if i could have known that he would be like this

either before he was born or even as a newborn I would

do everything in my power to make sure he could live as

"normal" a life as possible.  I was told with my 7 year

old daughter that she could have been born with Spina

Bifida and they day after she was born I was told she

could have Downs Syndrome - here we are 7 years later

and she's a perfect 7 year old.  I would hate to think

that there are people who would have said to never give

her the chance because look what I would have missed out

on.  I recently gave birth 3 months ago to my 3rd child

and to be honest when I found out i was pregnant I

wasn't too sure that I was going to go through with this

pregnancy, I was scared to have another child with

Autism but the more I looked at my other son and the

more I thought about it I knew I could handle it and

would do whatever it took.  I am sad to hear when

parents choose to give there special needs children up

for adoption or don't think that they should be given

the chance at life.  I believe that God knows what you

are capapble of handling and gave you that precious gift

to take care of.

From:

Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent:

Mon, November 15, 2010 7:43:13 PM

Subject:

Re: Re: New Born Baby

 

I could never have aborted my son! When

I was 4 months pregnant with him, we found out

he had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the

brain). It can cause severe birth defects, even

death, the doctor gave us the abortion option,

we didn't believe in it, and could never do that

to any of our kids!

 

The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but he

was diagnosed with Aspergers and Tourette's last

year. My son has taught me a lot about

uncondtional love and forgiveness, that I

believe no one else could ever teach me. My son

is a blessing from God, as I believe all these

kids with disabilties are.

 

Jenn

On Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at

9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...>

wrote:

 

I never said we should debate

abortion, although I don't believe in

it. There are agencies who are willing

to help people with their preborn and

born babies who have "issues." I'm

just asking that people consider it.

Do you have a child with autism or

asperger's or ??? Do you love child

anyway?

Mom4girls5

> >

> > Every measure should be used

to keep alive the new born with

disability.

> > Every new born infant is a

beautiful gift from god whether he/she

is normal or

> > disabled. They are precious

and prevailed to our human society.

They should be

.........................

>

[Guest guest]

The original email that brought on all this discussion was a bit difficult to read, but everyone is entitled to their opinion....I don't think anyone would argue that having a child with special needs, whatever the needs would be is difficult, at times. But, we are blessed and taught lessons every day. We see things differently. When my son, age 5 stops me to smell and look at flowers instead of rushing to video games he can't get, I think...he's right! Enjoy life! Be happy! Beats the alternative....Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®From: Riley <klriley@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Tue, 16 Nov 2010 15:48:56 +1100<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: Re: New Born Baby Having a child with disabilities is good for some people, but if youhave a look at the statistics for failed marriages as well asconsidering the effects on other kids, I would hesitate to draw theconclusion that whatever child you get, it is God's will that thechild should have disabilities and you are capable of handling thesituation.  I think people with kids with disabilities have enoughstress without adding the guilt of them not living up to God'sexpectations.  Just because something is does not mean it is God'swill that it should be.On 16/11/2010 3:02 PM, Brezen wrote: I agree children with disabilities are a blessing. My son is 5 and mildly Autistic and at first I didn'tthink that i could handle a child like him.  But he hastaught me to look at the world in a totally differentway, if i could have known that he would be like thiseither before he was born or even as a newborn I woulddo everything in my power to make sure he could live as"normal" a life as possible.  I was told with my 7 yearold daughter that she could have been born with SpinaBifida and they day after she was born I was told shecould have Downs Syndrome - here we are 7 years laterand she's a perfect 7 year old.  I would hate to thinkthat there are people who would have said to never giveher the chance because look what I would have missed outon.  I recently gave birth 3 months ago to my 3rd childand to be honest when I found out i was pregnant Iwasn't too sure that I was going to go through with thispregnancy, I was scared to have another child withAutism but the more I looked at my other son and themore I thought about it I knew I could handle it andwould do whatever it took.  I am sad to hear whenparents choose to give there special needs children upfor adoption or don't think that they should be giventhe chance at life.  I believe that God knows what youare capapble of handling and gave you that precious giftto take care of.From:Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>To:Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent:Mon, November 15, 2010 7:43:13 PMSubject:Re: Re: New Born Baby I could never have aborted my son! WhenI was 4 months pregnant with him, we found outhe had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on thebrain). It can cause severe birth defects, evendeath, the doctor gave us the abortion option,we didn't believe in it, and could never do thatto any of our kids!  The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but hewas diagnosed with Aspergers and Tourette's lastyear. My son has taught me a lot aboutuncondtional love and forgiveness, that Ibelieve no one else could ever teach me. My sonis a blessing from God, as I believe all thesekids with disabilties are. JennOn Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...>wrote: I never said we should debateabortion, although I don't believe init. There are agencies who are willingto help people with their preborn andborn babies who have "issues." I'mjust asking that people consider it.Do you have a child with autism orasperger's or ??? Do you love childanyway?Mom4girls5> >> > Every measure should be usedto keep alive the new born withdisability.> > Every new born infant is abeautiful gift from god whether he/sheis normal or > > disabled. They are preciousand prevailed to our human society.They should be........................>

[Guest guest]

My daughter loves my son so much, she helps to teach him to read and has been great for his therapies. His social skills have gone through the roof as well as his developmental skills and I truely believe it is because of her. As far as my newborn goes I know that he will be a great brother to my other son as my children have been raised to not think of people with disabilities as worthless or anything like that. My daughter knows that my son is just like her but needs a little help here and there with certain things. And when she hears other kids or even adults talking bad about someone who is "different" she gets upset because to her you are talking about her brother. Failed marriages happen all the time and FYI me and my fiance have been together for 10 years (5 of those years we have been dealing with my sons Autism) and our relationship has only

become stronger. My son will never have the guilt of not living up to God's expectations because I believe he was put here for a reason, he has a purpose and if given the choice to go back in time and have him be a "normal" child I wouldn't I would keep him the same. Do you have kids? You're right having a child is good for some people, those people are strong and so so unselfish we give up alot of ourselves for our children and I don't regret it.

From: Riley <klriley@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 10:48:56 PMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

Having a child with disabilities is good for some people, but if you have a look at the statistics for failed marriages as well as considering the effects on other kids, I would hesitate to draw the conclusion that whatever child you get, it is God's will that the child should have disabilities and you are capable of handling the situation. I think people with kids with disabilities have enough stress without adding the guilt of them not living up to God's expectations. Just because something is does not mean it is God's will that it should be.On 16/11/2010 3:02 PM, Brezen wrote:

I agree children with disabilities are a blessing. My son is 5 and mildly Autistic and at first I didn't think that i could handle a child like him. But he has taught me to look at the world in a totally different way, if i could have known that he would be like this either before he was born or even as a newborn I would do everything in my power to make sure he could live as "normal" a life as possible. I was told with my 7 year old daughter that she could have been born with Spina Bifida and they day after she was born I was told she could have Downs Syndrome - here we are 7 years later and she's a perfect 7 year old. I would hate to think that there are people who would have said to never give her the chance because look what I would have missed out on. I recently gave birth 3 months ago to my 3rd child and to be honest when I found out i was pregnant I wasn't too sure that I was going to go through with this

pregnancy, I was scared to have another child with Autism but the more I looked at my other son and the more I thought about it I knew I could handle it and would do whatever it took. I am sad to hear when parents choose to give there special needs children up for adoption or don't think that they should be given the chance at life. I believe that God knows what you are capapble of handling and gave you that precious gift to take care of.

From: Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 7:43:13 PMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

I could never have aborted my son! When I was 4 months pregnant with him, we found out he had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the brain). It can cause severe birth defects, even death, the doctor gave us the abortion option, we didn't believe in it, and could never do that to any of our kids!

The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but he was diagnosed with Aspergers and Tourette's last year. My son has taught me a lot about uncondtional love and forgiveness, that I believe no one else could ever teach me. My son is a blessing from God, as I believe all these kids with disabilties are.

Jenn

On Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at 9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...> wrote:

I never said we should debate abortion, although I don't believe in it. There are agencies who are willing to help people with their preborn and born babies who have "issues." I'm just asking that people consider it.Do you have a child with autism or asperger's or ??? Do you love child anyway?Mom4girls5> >> > Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born with disability.> > Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether he/she is normal or > > disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human society. They should be ........................>

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[Guest guest]

I was very scared and when I first knew something wasn't quite right with our little girl...I will be completely honest...I simply broke down, did not think I could handle it, and pretty much told my husband "she" ...meaning our baby girl...was going to break apart the family. Pretty harsh words.....but I was very honest with how I felt and I think it is important to let people out there know that even if you feel like this in the beginning...there is hope. Our beautiful daughter has changed our entire family...myself, my husband, and our 4 other children....not to mention extended family and friends! She has made us all appreciate what is really important and to enjoy life to its full potential, even though that may be different for some. My husband and I have our ups and downs....but in the end it is just on my head thinking that

he won't be able to handle a life such as this......he is very reasuring and I believe our daughter will touch our lives immensely in the future looking back!

Again....this is all coming from a mom who was ready to pack up and leave in the beginning and had a super tough time bonding with my baby girl. We now love her for who she is and anything she will or will not be capable of!!!

But I would never ever judge anyone for not making this decision or being able to feel this way. It is alot harder to get to this place for some people, and in the end you do what is best for the child.

[Guest guest]

I felt the very same way in the beginning as well. It's funny as parents we are supposed to be the ones to teach our children and sometimes they are the ones to teach us!

From: Tara Gaudet <taras_29@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 11:11:49 PMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

I was very scared and when I first knew something wasn't quite right with our little girl...I will be completely honest...I simply broke down, did not think I could handle it, and pretty much told my husband "she" ...meaning our baby girl...was going to break apart the family. Pretty harsh words.....but I was very honest with how I felt and I think it is important to let people out there know that even if you feel like this in the beginning...there is hope. Our beautiful daughter has changed our entire family...myself, my husband, and our 4 other children....not to mention extended family and friends! She has made us all appreciate what is really important and to enjoy life to its full potential, even though that may be different for some. My husband and I have our ups and downs....but in the end it is just on my head thinking that he won't be able to handle a life such as this......he is very reasuring and I believe our

daughter will touch our lives immensely in the future looking back!

Again....this is all coming from a mom who was ready to pack up and leave in the beginning and had a super tough time bonding with my baby girl. We now love her for who she is and anything she will or will not be capable of!!!

But I would never ever judge anyone for not making this decision or being able to feel this way. It is alot harder to get to this place for some people, and in the end you do what is best for the child.

[Guest guest]

See, this is what I don't like about these discussions: because you

have a successful relationship and find your son a 'blessing', you

imply that those who disagree with your position are selfish and bad

parents.  There is a big difference betrween saying that having kids

with disabilities is not easy and some people genuinely can't cope

and implying that they also would find it a 'blessing' if they were

just stronger and less selfish.  I don't regret what I have done for

my kids, but I also don't judge those who make different choices. 

Not everyone is in the position to make the choices some of us can

make.  I personally do not believe it is God's will that any child

should have disabilities, or suffer any of the things that so many

kids in this world suffer.  That some parents learn to be better

people from the experience may be good, but that still doesn't make

it God's will.  The thought 'God gave me a child with disabilities

to show me how much he loves and trusts me - how much faith he has

in me' - just doesn't sit well with my beliefs about God.  I don't

regret looking after my son, nor how much harder it was than if he

had been 'normal', but I would still have preferred him to be

'normal' becasue of how much easier it would have been for him.  I

would not tell a parent who gave up a child with disabilities, or

anyone who chose not to go through with a pregnancy that would

result in a severely disabled child that they were not living up to

God's expectations of them, because he would not give them this

'gift' if they weren't able to bear it.  I am not that well informed

of either God's will or the abilities of others to make that

decision.

This started with the assertion that we must do everything for every

child born, no matter what the cost.  I still don't believe that,

nor do I believe it is fair to ask everyone else to share the cost

of doing so.  It doesn't mean I believe people with disabilities are

worthless, just that we need to be practical.  It was not meant to

be personal - what you do is your choice, but you can't expect

everyone to agree, to make the same choices you do, or to pay for

you to do what you choose to do.  Before agreeing that 'we must do

everything for every child born' it might be worthwhile looking at

how much that would cost in money, time and effort, and what else

would have to be left undone if we do so.

On 16/11/2010 4:06 PM, Brezen wrote:

 

My daughter loves my son so much, she

helps to teach him to read and has been great for his

therapies.  His social skills have gone through the roof

as well as his developmental skills and I truely believe

it is because of her.  As far as my newborn goes I know

that he will be a great brother to my other son as my

children have been raised to not think of people with

disabilities as worthless or anything like that.  My

daughter knows that my son is just like her but needs a

little help here and there with certain things.  And

when she hears other kids or even adults talking bad

about someone who is "different" she gets upset because

to her you are talking about her brother.  Failed

marriages happen all the time and FYI me and my fiance

have been together for 10 years (5 of those years we

have been dealing with my sons Autism) and our

relationship has only become stronger.  My son will

never have the guilt of not living up to God's

expectations because I believe he was put here for a

reason, he has a purpose and if given the choice to go

back in time and have him be a "normal" child I wouldn't

I would keep him the same.  Do you have kids? You're

right having a child is good for some people, those

people are strong and so so unselfish we give up alot of

ourselves for our children and I don't regret it.   

From:

Riley <klriley@...>

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent:

Mon, November 15, 2010 10:48:56 PM

Subject:

Re: Re: New Born Baby

 

Having a child with disabilities is good for some

people, but if you have a look at the statistics

for failed marriages as well as considering the

effects on other kids, I would hesitate to draw

the conclusion that whatever child you get, it is

God's will that the child should have disabilities

and you are capable of handling the situation.  I

think people with kids with disabilities have

enough stress without adding the guilt of them not

living up to God's expectations.  Just because

something is does not mean it is God's will that

it should be.

On 16/11/2010 3:02 PM, Brezen wrote:

 

I agree children with disabilities are a

blessing.  My son is 5 and mildly Autistic

and at first I didn't think that i could

handle a child like him.  But he has taught

me to look at the world in a totally

different way, if i could have known that he

would be like this either before he was born

or even as a newborn I would do everything

in my power to make sure he could live as

"normal" a life as possible.  I was told

with my 7 year old daughter that she could

have been born with Spina Bifida and they

day after she was born I was told she could

have Downs Syndrome - here we are 7 years

later and she's a perfect 7 year old.  I

would hate to think that there are people

who would have said to never give her the

chance because look what I would have missed

out on.  I recently gave birth 3 months ago

to my 3rd child and to be honest when I

found out i was pregnant I wasn't too sure

that I was going to go through with this

pregnancy, I was scared to have another

child with Autism but the more I looked at

my other son and the more I thought about it

I knew I could handle it and would do

whatever it took.  I am sad to hear when

parents choose to give there special needs

children up for adoption or don't think that

they should be given the chance at life.  I

believe that God knows what you are capapble

of handling and gave you that precious gift

to take care of.

From:

Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent:

Mon, November 15, 2010 7:43:13 PM

Subject:

Re: Re: New Born Baby

 

I could never have aborted

my son! When I was 4 months pregnant

with him, we found out he had

Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the

brain). It can cause severe birth

defects, even death, the doctor gave

us the abortion option, we didn't

believe in it, and could never do

that to any of our kids!

 

The Hydrocephalus cleared

up, but he was diagnosed with

Aspergers and Tourette's last year.

My son has taught me a lot about

uncondtional love and forgiveness,

that I believe no one else could

ever teach me. My son is a blessing

from God, as I believe all these

kids with disabilties are.

 

Jenn

On Mon, Nov 15,

2010 at 9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...>

wrote:

 

I never said we should

debate abortion, although

I don't believe in it.

There are agencies who are

willing to help people

with their preborn and

born babies who have

"issues." I'm just asking

that people consider it.

Do you have a child with

autism or asperger's or

??? Do you love child

anyway?

Mom4girls5

> >

> > Every measure

should be used to keep

alive the new born with

disability.

> > Every new born

infant is a beautiful gift

from god whether he/she is

normal or

> > disabled. They

are precious and prevailed

to our human society. They

should be

.........................

>

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[Guest guest]

It's great that things have worked out for you - and I hope they

keep getting better.  When we have hard days, we remind ourselves of

how bad it has been in the past, and things seem a lot better,

because the present is nowhere near as bad as it once looked like

being.

On 16/11/2010 4:47 PM, Brezen wrote:

 

I felt the very same way in the beginning as well.

It's funny as parents we are supposed to be the ones to

teach our children and sometimes they are  the ones to

teach us!

From:

Tara Gaudet <taras_29@...>

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent:

Mon, November 15, 2010 11:11:49 PM

Subject:

Re: Re: New Born Baby

 

I was very scared and when I first

knew something wasn't quite right with

our little girl...I will be completely

honest...I simply broke down, did not

think I could handle it, and pretty much

told my husband "she" ...meaning our

baby girl...was going to break apart the

family.  Pretty harsh words.....but I

was very honest with how I felt and I

think it is important to let people out

there know that even if you feel like

this in the beginning...there is hope. 

Our beautiful daughter has changed our

entire family...myself, my husband, and

our 4 other children....not to mention

extended family and friends!  She has

made us all appreciate what is really

important and to enjoy life to its full

potential, even though that may be

different for some.  My husband and I

have our ups and downs....but in the end

it is just on my head thinking that he

won't be able to handle a life such as

this......he is very reasuring and I

believe our daughter will touch our

lives immensely in the future looking

back!

Again....this is all coming from a

mom who was ready to pack up and leave

in the beginning and had a super tough

time bonding with my baby girl.  We now

love her for who she is and anything she

will or will not be capable of!!!

But I would never ever judge anyone

for not making this decision or being

able to feel this way.  It is alot

harder to get to this place for some

people, and in the end you do what is

best for the child.

 

[Guest guest]

Well that's your opinion, it took alot of hard work to get to where we are. I never said that people who disagree with me are selfish and bad parents. I said that "we" as a whole are unselfish and strong. There are people who hear that their child has a disability and there first thought is well what are people going to think about me - i was one of them - but I realized that i needed to stop thinking about - better yet - caring what other people thought about my son and how it would make me look. I still have days where it's hard to cope with all that we go through in a day. As far as the cost situation - no one but my family shares in the cost of raising my son - no public aid - no SSI. We (the adults go without for the kids) struggle every month to get by as I

don't want to hear how my son is a burden on society! It's a shame how some people think that way.

From: Riley <klriley@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 11:59:29 PMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

See, this is what I don't like about these discussions: because you have a successful relationship and find your son a 'blessing', you imply that those who disagree with your position are selfish and bad parents. There is a big difference betrween saying that having kids with disabilities is not easy and some people genuinely can't cope and implying that they also would find it a 'blessing' if they were just stronger and less selfish. I don't regret what I have done for my kids, but I also don't judge those who make different choices. Not everyone is in the position to make the choices some of us can make. I personally do not believe it is God's will that any child should have disabilities, or suffer any of the things that so many kids in this world suffer. That some parents learn to be better people from the experience may be good, but that still doesn't make it God's will. The thought 'God gave me a child with

disabilities to show me how much he loves and trusts me - how much faith he has in me' - just doesn't sit well with my beliefs about God. I don't regret looking after my son, nor how much harder it was than if he had been 'normal', but I would still have preferred him to be 'normal' becasue of how much easier it would have been for him. I would not tell a parent who gave up a child with disabilities, or anyone who chose not to go through with a pregnancy that would result in a severely disabled child that they were not living up to God's expectations of them, because he would not give them this 'gift' if they weren't able to bear it. I am not that well informed of either God's will or the abilities of others to make that decision.This started with the assertion that we must do everything for every child born, no matter what the cost. I still don't believe that, nor do I believe it is fair to ask everyone else to share the

cost of doing so. It doesn't mean I believe people with disabilities are worthless, just that we need to be practical. It was not meant to be personal - what you do is your choice, but you can't expect everyone to agree, to make the same choices you do, or to pay for you to do what you choose to do. Before agreeing that 'we must do everything for every child born' it might be worthwhile looking at how much that would cost in money, time and effort, and what else would have to be left undone if we do so.On 16/11/2010 4:06 PM, Brezen wrote:

My daughter loves my son so much, she helps to teach him to read and has been great for his therapies. His social skills have gone through the roof as well as his developmental skills and I truely believe it is because of her. As far as my newborn goes I know that he will be a great brother to my other son as my children have been raised to not think of people with disabilities as worthless or anything like that. My daughter knows that my son is just like her but needs a little help here and there with certain things. And when she hears other kids or even adults talking bad about someone who is "different" she gets upset because to her you are talking about her brother. Failed marriages happen all the time and FYI me and my fiance have been together for 10 years (5 of those years we have been dealing with my sons Autism) and our relationship has only

become stronger. My son will never have the guilt of not living up to God's expectations because I believe he was put here for a reason, he has a purpose and if given the choice to go back in time and have him be a "normal" child I wouldn't I would keep him the same. Do you have kids? You're right having a child is good for some people, those people are strong and so so unselfish we give up alot of ourselves for our children and I don't regret it.

From: Riley <klriley@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 10:48:56 PMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

Having a child with disabilities is good for some people, but if you have a look at the statistics for failed marriages as well as considering the effects on other kids, I would hesitate to draw the conclusion that whatever child you get, it is God's will that the child should have disabilities and you are capable of handling the situation. I think people with kids with disabilities have enough stress without adding the guilt of them not living up to God's expectations. Just because something is does not mean it is God's will that it should be.On 16/11/2010 3:02 PM, Brezen wrote:

I agree children with disabilities are a blessing. My son is 5 and mildly Autistic and at first I didn't think that i could handle a child like him. But he has taught me to look at the world in a totally different way, if i could have known that he would be like this either before he was born or even as a newborn I would do everything in my power to make sure he could live as "normal" a life as possible. I was told with my 7 year old daughter that she could have been born with Spina Bifida and they day after she was born I was told she could have Downs Syndrome - here we are 7 years later and she's a perfect 7 year old. I would hate to think that there are people who would have said to never give her the chance because look what I would have missed out on. I recently gave birth 3 months ago to my 3rd child and to be honest when I found out i was pregnant I wasn't too sure that I was going to go through with this

pregnancy, I was scared to have another child with Autism but the more I looked at my other son and the more I thought about it I knew I could handle it and would do whatever it took. I am sad to hear when parents choose to give there special needs children up for adoption or don't think that they should be given the chance at life. I believe that God knows what you are capapble of handling and gave you that precious gift to take care of.

From: Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>Autism and Aspergers Treatment Sent: Mon, November 15, 2010 7:43:13 PMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

I could never have aborted my son! When I was 4 months pregnant with him, we found out he had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the brain). It can cause severe birth defects, even death, the doctor gave us the abortion option, we didn't believe in it, and could never do that to any of our kids!

The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but he was diagnosed with Aspergers and Tourette's last year. My son has taught me a lot about uncondtional love and forgiveness, that I believe no one else could ever teach me. My son is a blessing from God, as I believe all these kids with disabilties are.

Jenn

On Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at 9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...> wrote:

I never said we should debate abortion, although I don't believe in it. There are agencies who are willing to help people with their preborn and born babies who have "issues." I'm just asking that people consider it.Do you have a child with autism or asperger's or ??? Do you love child anyway?Mom4girls5> >> > Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born with disability.> > Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether he/she is normal or > > disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human society. They should be ........................>

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[Guest guest]

I think you will find it took hard work for everyone in this group

to get to where they are.  I think we have also all had to learn not

to worry too much about what other people think of our kids, or us

as their parents. 

I know how hard it is to raise a kid with ASD and ADD, and my son

only has a mild case of both.  Some days I think I am probably worse

than he is, but of course neither condition existed when I was a

kid.  I admire parents who deal with far worse cases.  But I have

also seen the long-term affects on a family of caring for children

with disabilities, especially if they are severe.  One woman I know

decided to keep her severely disabled son, even though she was told

that he would need constant care 24/7, and probably would not

survive past his 5th birthday.  Her husband was against the idea,

but she told him he'd cope, so he better get used to it.  He left

before the child was 5.  His words were that his wife 'left him the

minute his son was born', as she never had any time for him after

that.  Her 3 older children had to help their father run the

household, and help look after their brother, and then do it on

their own when their father left.  None remained with their mother

longer than their 16th birthday.  They still refuse to speak with

her or see her, as they feel she abandoned them when their brother

was born.  She is now in her 70's and suffering from a range of

ailments and worries constantly about her son, as she is sure no one

will devote themselves to his care as she has after she dies.  When

she has been asked about the effect it has had on her family, she

says she has no regrets.  If they had been 'real Christians and more

unselfish', they would have devoted themselves to the care of her

son as she did.  As they weren't, she doesn't care how they were

affected by her not being available to them.  As she has said often

'only my precious baby matters to me'.   All her income since her

husband left her, and all the money spent on her son's care has been

at public expense.  As has the expense of people to care for her,

her home, and her son now she cannot do so on her own.  She has only

condemnation for the government and the medical profession, as they

have never done as much as they should have for her son. 

So, while I don't question the benefits you - and your family - have

gained from your son, my experience makes me very wary of extending

your experience (or my own) to a blanket statement that 'we must do

everything we can for every child born', or that a child with

disabilities will be a positive thing for everyone. 

On 16/11/2010 5:12 PM, Brezen wrote:

 

Well that's your opinion, it took alot of hard work

to get to where we are.  I never said that people who

disagree with me are selfish and bad parents.  I said

that "we" as a whole are unselfish and strong.  There

are people who hear that their child has a disability

and there first thought is well what are people going to

think about me - i was one of them - but I realized that

i needed to stop thinking  about - better yet - caring

what other people thought about my son and how it would

make me look. I still have days where it's hard to cope

with all that we go through in a day. As far as the cost

situation - no one but my family shares in the cost of

raising my son - no public aid - no SSI.  We (the adults

go without for the kids) struggle every month to get by

as I don't want to hear how my son is a burden on

society!  It's a shame how some people think that way.

From:

Riley <klriley@...>

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent:

Mon, November 15, 2010 11:59:29 PM

Subject:

Re: Re: New Born Baby

 

See, this is what I don't like about these

discussions: because you have a successful

relationship and find your son a 'blessing', you

imply that those who disagree with your position

are selfish and bad parents.  There is a big

difference betrween saying that having kids with

disabilities is not easy and some people genuinely

can't cope and implying that they also would find

it a 'blessing' if they were just stronger and

less selfish.  I don't regret what I have done for

my kids, but I also don't judge those who make

different choices.  Not everyone is in the

position to make the choices some of us can make. 

I personally do not believe it is God's will that

any child should have disabilities, or suffer any

of the things that so many kids in this world

suffer.  That some parents learn to be better

people from the experience may be good, but that

still doesn't make it God's will.  The thought

'God gave me a child with disabilities to show me

how much he loves and trusts me - how much faith

he has in me' - just doesn't sit well with my

beliefs about God.  I don't regret looking after

my son, nor how much harder it was than if he had

been 'normal', but I would still have preferred

him to be 'normal' becasue of how much easier it

would have been for him.  I would not tell a

parent who gave up a child with disabilities, or

anyone who chose not to go through with a

pregnancy that would result in a severely disabled

child that they were not living up to God's

expectations of them, because he would not give

them this 'gift' if they weren't able to bear it. 

I am not that well informed of either God's will

or the abilities of others to make that decision.

This started with the assertion that we must do

everything for every child born, no matter what

the cost.  I still don't believe that, nor do I

believe it is fair to ask everyone else to share

the cost of doing so.  It doesn't mean I believe

people with disabilities are worthless, just that

we need to be practical.  It was not meant to be

personal - what you do is your choice, but you

can't expect everyone to agree, to make the same

choices you do, or to pay for you to do what you

choose to do.  Before agreeing that 'we must do

everything for every child born' it might be

worthwhile looking at how much that would cost in

money, time and effort, and what else would have

to be left undone if we do so.

On 16/11/2010 4:06 PM, Brezen wrote:

 

My daughter loves my son so much, she

helps to teach him to read and has been

great for his therapies.  His social skills

have gone through the roof as well as his

developmental skills and I truely believe it

is because of her.  As far as my newborn

goes I know that he will be a great brother

to my other son as my children have been

raised to not think of people with

disabilities as worthless or anything like

that.  My daughter knows that my son is just

like her but needs a little help here and

there with certain things.  And when she

hears other kids or even adults talking bad

about someone who is "different" she gets

upset because to her you are talking about

her brother.  Failed marriages happen all

the time and FYI me and my fiance have been

together for 10 years (5 of those years we

have been dealing with my sons Autism) and

our relationship has only become stronger. 

My son will never have the guilt of not

living up to God's expectations because I

believe he was put here for a reason, he has

a purpose and if given the choice to go back

in time and have him be a "normal" child I

wouldn't I would keep him the same.  Do you

have kids? You're right having a child is

good for some people, those people are

strong and so so unselfish we give up alot

of ourselves for our children and I don't

regret it.   

From:

Riley <klriley@...>

To:

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent:

Mon, November 15, 2010 10:48:56 PM

Subject:

Re: Re: New Born Baby

 

Having a child with disabilities is

good for some people, but if you have

a look at the statistics for failed

marriages as well as considering the

effects on other kids, I would

hesitate to draw the conclusion that

whatever child you get, it is God's

will that the child should have

disabilities and you are capable of

handling the situation.  I think

people with kids with disabilities

have enough stress without adding the

guilt of them not living up to God's

expectations.  Just because something

is does not mean it is God's will that

it should be.

On 16/11/2010 3:02 PM, Brezen

wrote:

 

I agree children with

disabilities are a blessing.  My

son is 5 and mildly Autistic and

at first I didn't think that i

could handle a child like him. 

But he has taught me to look at

the world in a totally different

way, if i could have known that

he would be like this either

before he was born or even as a

newborn I would do everything in

my power to make sure he could

live as "normal" a life as

possible.  I was told with my 7

year old daughter that she could

have been born with Spina Bifida

and they day after she was born

I was told she could have Downs

Syndrome - here we are 7 years

later and she's a perfect 7 year

old.  I would hate to think that

there are people who would have

said to never give her the

chance because look what I would

have missed out on.  I recently

gave birth 3 months ago to my

3rd child and to be honest when

I found out i was pregnant I

wasn't too sure that I was going

to go through with this

pregnancy, I was scared to have

another child with Autism but

the more I looked at my other

son and the more I thought about

it I knew I could handle it and

would do whatever it took.  I am

sad to hear when parents choose

to give there special needs

children up for adoption or

don't think that they should be

given the chance at life.  I

believe that God knows what you

are capapble of handling and

gave you that precious gift to

take care of.

From:

Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>

Autism and Aspergers Treatment

Sent:

Mon, November 15, 2010

7:43:13 PM

Subject:

Re: Re:

New Born Baby

 

I could never

have aborted my son!

When I was 4 months

pregnant with him, we

found out he had

Hydrocephalus (too much

fluid on the brain). It

can cause severe birth

defects, even death, the

doctor gave us the

abortion option, we

didn't believe in it,

and could never do that

to any of our kids!

 

The

Hydrocephalus cleared

up, but he was diagnosed

with Aspergers and

Tourette's last year. My

son has taught me a lot

about uncondtional love

and forgiveness, that I

believe no one else

could ever teach me. My

son is a blessing from

God, as I believe all

these kids with

disabilties are.

 

Jenn

On

Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at 9:32

AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...>

wrote:

 

I never said

we should

debate

abortion,

although I

don't believe

in it. There

are agencies

who are

willing to

help people

with their

preborn and

born babies

who have

"issues." I'm

just asking

that people

consider it.

Do you have a

child with

autism or

asperger's or

??? Do you

love child

anyway?

Mom4girls5

> >

> >

Every measure

should be used

to keep alive

the new born

with

disability.

> >

Every new born

infant is a

beautiful gift

from god

whether he/she

is normal or

> >

disabled. They

are precious

and prevailed

to our human

society. They

should be

.........................

>

Reply

to sender

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to group

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[Guest guest]

I am thinking a husband that would leave due to HIS disabled child probably

wouldn't of been able to stick around no matter what. Divorce rate is high, but

I do know of dads that are better with their special needs child than the mom

is. If my husband was going to leave because of our daughter, I say good

riddance! It wouldn't of worked out at some point anyway. I agree raising a

special needs child takes alot of energy and time which will definately have its

affects on a marriage and family, so extra time should also be spent on marriage

and time with rest of family. There is help out there....wether it be family,

friends or government funded help....there are ways to make it all work.

As far as failed marriages....husbands need to man up! Bit of sarcasm

there....sorry...don't mean to offend anyone!! All I am saying is, yes it is

alot of work, but it is a choice that needs a strong relationship which can be

achieved.

[Guest guest]

I agree with you totally Tara, been there, done that. It's very hard and time consuming on a relationship/marriage. Our daughter with aspergers is 23 and we're still married after 24 years. We hit many speed bumps along the way and we did not and could not do it by ourselves. There is so much help out there and parents need to open their mouthes and ask for it. RhodaFrom: Taras <taras_29@...>"Autism and Aspergers Treatment " <Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Sent: Tue, November 16, 2010 2:06:11 AMSubject: Re: Re: New Born Baby

I am thinking a husband that would leave due to HIS disabled child probably wouldn't of been able to stick around no matter what. Divorce rate is high, but I do know of dads that are better with their special needs child than the mom is. If my husband was going to leave because of our daughter, I say good riddance! It wouldn't of worked out at some point anyway. I agree raising a special needs child takes alot of energy and time which will definately have its affects on a marriage and family, so extra time should also be spent on marriage and time with rest of family. There is help out there....wether it be family, friends or government funded help....there are ways to make it all work.

As far as failed marriages....husbands need to man up! Bit of sarcasm there....sorry...don't mean to offend anyone!! All I am saying is, yes it is alot of work, but it is a choice that needs a strong relationship which can be achieved.

[Guest guest]

I agree with u Tara. Raising a child with a disability, especially a severe one, is very hard and stressful. But it sounds like this guy who left his wife, (in my opinion) was thinking more of himself then his child. And while taking care of a severely disabled child, the Mom should have tried to figure out a way to find time for her husband and kids. There are ways...

 

My son isn't severely disabled, but his Aspergers is more severe then a lot of people with Aspergers. He is 12 years old, but he acts more like he is 7 or 8 years old. He still has a hard time bathing himself, he doesn't know how to tie his shoes very well. And next year he is going to be going to Jr. High, and I am seriously thinking about homeschooling, because I don't think emotionally he will be able to handle it.

 

We believe my husband's brother who is 44, has Aspergers. And while he acts young for his age, he doesn't have Aspergers as severe as our son. I think our son will probably be living with us until we die. His teenage brother's say that they will help take care of him when we are gone, which brings comfort to me, but at the same time I feel guilt. And when they both get married, I am not sure how their wives would feel. So we are trying to figure out what to do, maybe by that time, he will be able to live on his own. Who knows!

 

For those who don't believe they can raise a disabled child (in my opinion), should not get abortions, but give them up for adoption. I have heard that there are people out there who are looking to adopt, and don't mind if the kids are disabled.

 

As far as God's will... I don't know if it is God's will to have a child with a disability... but I do know that thru difficulities in my life, my son has taught me many lessons, his disabilities has made me into a much stronger and better person. Because of my son's Aspergers and Tourettes, I can handle so many things that I never thought I could handle before. 

 

Yes, there are times I feel like giving up... I am only human. But I don't ever regret having my son! Despite his disabilities, he is the most amazing person I have ever met! He always makes me smile! And he has really made a difference in other's lives.

 

Before I end this, I have to tell u all about something awesome that happened yesterday! We went on a fieldtrip with my son's class to the Planetarium. We rode the trax train to the frontrunner to get home. My son hates to be touched, and when the train started moving, some kids weren't holding on and bumped into my son, he almost had a meltdown, but held it together.

 

When we got off and onto the Frontrunner, this young lady (about 19) that was on the trax train with us also got onto the Frontrunner. She mentioned my son having problems on the trax train, so I told her he has Aspergers. She said she also has a relative with Aspergers.

 

A few minutes later, she asked me, " What is your son's name? " I told her and she said to my son, " , do u like dinosaurs? " He nodded, and she handed him a paper with a drawing and said, " I made this for u! " It was a pic of a dinosaur and it said, " Smile! ... It's addicting! "

 

She was my angel for the day! It is because of people like that, that help encourage me when times are tough, and to never give up on my son!Love,

Jenn

 

On Tue, Nov 16, 2010 at 12:06 AM, Taras <taras_29@...> wrote:

 

I am thinking a husband that would leave due to HIS disabled child probably wouldn't of been able to stick around no matter what. Divorce rate is high, but I do know of dads that are better with their special needs child than the mom is. If my husband was going to leave because of our daughter, I say good riddance! It wouldn't of worked out at some point anyway. I agree raising a special needs child takes alot of energy and time which will definately have its affects on a marriage and family, so extra time should also be spent on marriage and time with rest of family. There is help out there....wether it be family, friends or government funded help....there are ways to make it all work.

As far as failed marriages....husbands need to man up! Bit of sarcasm there....sorry...don't mean to offend anyone!! All I am saying is, yes it is alot of work, but it is a choice that needs a strong relationship which can be achieved.

[Guest guest]

Our son is adopted, has Aspergers and other diagnoses as well. Our lives would not be complete without him. He is a light in our lives. He needs more attention as he gets older because the differences between himself and his peers becomes more evident. What was acceptable behaviors for 5 and 6 year olds kept him on an even playing field with his peers. Now that they are older, maturing and showing more of an ability to reason and respond to social cues from others, the inability of our son to perform those same skills has become evident to adults and other children as well. It is not easy when our son is hurt by unkind words and my heart breaks every time he hurts, but I wouldn't say it is difficult on us as parents. It is much more difficult for him as a child trying to find his way in a very social environment. I am glad he is OUR son and wouldn't have him to love and nurture and inspire me to be a better person if not for his birth mother and I thank God every day for her, and God's plan for allowing him to come into our lives. That's my belief, not forced on anyone else, nor am I trying to convince anyone to "step up to the plate" or "man-up". I am just grateful his birth mother decided she could not or would not care for him. That decision was the best one for us and for our son. Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>Sender: Autism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Tue, 16 Nov 2010 05:59:58 -0700<Autism and Aspergers Treatment >Reply Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: Re: New Born Baby I agree with u Tara. Raising a child with a disability, especially a severe one, is very hard and stressful. But it sounds like this guy who left his wife, (in my opinion) was thinking more of himself then his child. And while taking care of a severely disabled child, the Mom should have tried to figure out a way to find time for her husband and kids. There are ways... My son isn't severely disabled, but his Aspergers is more severe then a lot of people with Aspergers. He is 12 years old, but he acts more like he is 7 or 8 years old. He still has a hard time bathing himself, he doesn't know how to tie his shoes very well. And next year he is going to be going to Jr. High, and I am seriously thinking about homeschooling, because I don't think emotionally he will be able to handle it. We believe my husband's brother who is 44, has Aspergers. And while he acts young for his age, he doesn't have Aspergers as severe as our son. I think our son will probably be living with us until we die. His teenage brother's say that they will help take care of him when we are gone, which brings comfort to me, but at the same time I feel guilt. And when they both get married, I am not sure how their wives would feel. So we are trying to figure out what to do, maybe by that time, he will be able to live on his own. Who knows! For those who don't believe they can raise a disabled child (in my opinion), should not get abortions, but give them up for adoption. I have heard that there are people out there who are looking to adopt, and don't mind if the kids are disabled. As far as God's will... I don't know if it is God's will to have a child with a disability... but I do know that thru difficulities in my life, my son has taught me many lessons, his disabilities has made me into a much stronger and better person. Because of my son's Aspergers and Tourettes, I can handle so many things that I never thought I could handle before.  Yes, there are times I feel like giving up... I am only human. But I don't ever regret having my son! Despite his disabilities, he is the most amazing person I have ever met! He always makes me smile! And he has really made a difference in other's lives. Before I end this, I have to tell u all about something awesome that happened yesterday! We went on a fieldtrip with my son's class to the Planetarium. We rode the trax train to the frontrunner to get home. My son hates to be touched, and when the train started moving, some kids weren't holding on and bumped into my son, he almost had a meltdown, but held it together. When we got off and onto the Frontrunner, this young lady (about 19) that was on the trax train with us also got onto the Frontrunner. She mentioned my son having problems on the trax train, so I told her he has Aspergers. She said she also has a relative with Aspergers.  A few minutes later, she asked me, " What is your son's name? " I told her and she said to my son, " , do u like dinosaurs? " He nodded, and she handed him a paper with a drawing and said, " I made this for u! " It was a pic of a dinosaur and it said, " Smile! ... It's addicting! "  She was my angel for the day! It is because of people like that, that help encourage me when times are tough, and to never give up on my son!Love,Jenn On Tue, Nov 16, 2010 at 12:06 AM, Taras <taras_29@...> wrote:  I am thinking a husband that would leave due to HIS disabled child probably wouldn't of been able to stick around no matter what. Divorce rate is high, but I do know of dads that are better with their special needs child than the mom is. If my husband was going to leave because of our daughter, I say good riddance! It wouldn't of worked out at some point anyway. I agree raising a special needs child takes alot of energy and time which will definately have its affects on a marriage and family, so extra time should also be spent on marriage and time with rest of family. There is help out there....wether it be family, friends or government funded help....there are ways to make it all work. As far as failed marriages....husbands need to man up! Bit of sarcasm there....sorry...don't mean to offend anyone!! All I am saying is, yes it is alot of work, but it is a choice that needs a strong relationship which can be achieved.

[Guest guest]

Wow , what a sad story you have shared. I sure do hope folks don't

take this story as a " blanket " view either! I know when my son was

little they so called experts said all this would happen to me and to my

family if I dared keep my son and not send him off to the institution

and forget he was ever born. But I wouldn't do it so here he is, some 46

years later! Of course I always looked at our situation as one sent by

God to us for His reasons, many I am only figuring out now after all

this time. I don't know what it is exactly but I think that my son and I

bless people and encourage them somehow to keep on keeping on with their

own lives as God touches them. It is a supernatural thing but I have

seen it in action many many times, people just melt when they see me

pushing my son in his wheelchair. He is such a handsome lad anyway and

me just a little old gray haired woman of 69.

I don't think my other three kids feel too bad about me keeping him, for

one the were NOT neglected. I just went overboard with each one of them

and was very active in all their activities. I gave my kids and am

giving my 7 grandkids now so much of my attention because I was pretty

much ignored as a child. I don't know if it was the times or what, back

in the 40s and 50s kids were just part of the ordeal of life, they

weren't so much looked at as blessings. Even to this day, my mom is 92,

she thinks of me as an irritant, recently told me to go home so many

times I lost count, and called the cops on me. No lie. I was cleaning

stuff off her wheelchair ramp and she did not want me to touch it, you

ever seen the TV show " Hoarders " people who love things more than people

that's my mom. Sigh.

But back to me, yes my husband did turn to alcoholism, but his dad and

uncles all had it, it could have been my son was such a heartache to him

I don't know. But he wasn't to me. I in fact quit drinking altogether so

I could be a better mother to my kids.. Also my oldest son and youngest,

my daughter turned to alcoholism. My brother and my ex, eventually he

became my ex after 31 years of marriage, died from it, same thing,

cirrhosis.

I would just say it is how you look at it. With me I always believed in

God and believed He had a plan for my life, and if He sent me kids then

it was no accident, no matter if they did have disabilities. I did teach

them one thing, if anything happened to them I would not abandon them

either...would not reject them.

The grandkids have been interesting, I raised three of them for 10 years

while my daughter worked, since each was 2 months old. They grew up at

the feet of their disabled uncle, Uncle Marty. Believe me those kids

have NOT been neglected. They have seen many things such as seizures and

they have learned that life is hard, and survival goes to those who push

through these kinds of trials with love and faith in God.

I would say that LOVE is what has saved the day at our house, a constant

battle and constantly under attack if you will notice in the world

around us.

LOVE will win, my life and my son's has proved it, we are living

examples and I think that gives others some kind of hope to go on!

I hope so anyway!

Didn't think I would write so much, can't find anybody to write to on

this dratted computer anymore!

Carolyn in Oregon, USA, hay our football team is #1 right now, woo hoo!

Two more games to go though. ;o)) Oh yah wanted to say both my children

have quit drinking and are in recovery, woo hoo again!

Riley wrote:

>

>

> I think you will find it took hard work for everyone in this group to

> get to where they are. I think we have also all had to learn not to

> worry too much about what other people think of our kids, or us as

> their parents.

>

> I know how hard it is to raise a kid with ASD and ADD, and my son only

> has a mild case of both. Some days I think I am probably worse than

> he is, but of course neither condition existed when I was a kid. I

> admire parents who deal with far worse cases. But I have also seen

> the long-term affects on a family of caring for children with

> disabilities, especially if they are severe. One woman I know decided

> to keep her severely disabled son, even though she was told that he

> would need constant care 24/7, and probably would not survive past his

> 5th birthday. Her husband was against the idea, but she told him he'd

> cope, so he better get used to it. He left before the child was 5.

> His words were that his wife 'left him the minute his son was born',

> as she never had any time for him after that. Her 3 older children

> had to help their father run the household, and help look after their

> brother, and then do it on their own when their father left. None

> remained with their mother longer than their 16th birthday. They

> still refuse to speak with her or see her, as they feel she abandoned

> them when their brother was born. She is now in her 70's and

> suffering from a range of ailments and worries constantly about her

> son, as she is sure no one will devote themselves to his care as she

> has after she dies. When she has been asked about the effect it has

> had on her family, she says she has no regrets. If they had been

> 'real Christians and more unselfish', they would have devoted

> themselves to the care of her son as she did. As they weren't, she

> doesn't care how they were affected by her not being available to

> them. As she has said often 'only my precious baby matters to me'.

> All her income since her husband left her, and all the money spent on

> her son's care has been at public expense. As has the expense of

> people to care for her, her home, and her son now she cannot do so on

> her own. She has only condemnation for the government and the medical

> profession, as they have never done as much as they should have for

> her son.

>

> So, while I don't question the benefits you - and your family - have

> gained from your son, my experience makes me very wary of extending

> your experience (or my own) to a blanket statement that 'we must do

> everything we can for every child born', or that a child with

> disabilities will be a positive thing for everyone.

>

>

>

> On 16/11/2010 5:12 PM, Brezen wrote:

>

>>

>> Well that's your opinion, it took alot of hard work to get to where

>> we are. I never said that people who disagree with me are selfish

>> and bad parents. I said that " we " as a whole are unselfish and

>> strong. There are people who hear that their child has a disability

>> and there first thought is well what are people going to think about

>> me - i was one of them - but I realized that i needed to stop

>> thinking about - better yet - caring what other people thought about

>> my son and how it would make me look. I still have days where it's

>> hard to cope with all that we go through in a day. As far as the cost

>> situation - no one but my family shares in the cost of raising my son

>> - no public aid - no SSI. We (the adults go without for the kids)

>> struggle every month to get by as I don't want to hear how my son is

>> a burden on society! It's a shame how some people think that way.

>>

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>> *From:* Riley <klriley@...>

>> *To:* Autism and Aspergers Treatment

>> *Sent:* Mon, November 15, 2010 11:59:29 PM

>> *Subject:* Re: Re: New Born Baby

>>

>>

>>

>> See, this is what I don't like about these discussions: because you

>> have a successful relationship and find your son a 'blessing', you

>> imply that those who disagree with your position are selfish and bad

>> parents. There is a big difference betrween saying that having kids

>> with disabilities is not easy and some people genuinely can't cope

>> and implying that they also would find it a 'blessing' if they were

>> just stronger and less selfish. I don't regret what I have done for

>> my kids, but I also don't judge those who make different choices.

>> Not everyone is in the position to make the choices some of us can

>> make. I personally do not believe it is God's will that any child

>> should have disabilities, or suffer any of the things that so many

>> kids in this world suffer. That some parents learn to be better

>> people from the experience may be good, but that still doesn't make

>> it God's will. The thought 'God gave me a child with disabilities to

>> show me how much he loves and trusts me - how much faith he has in

>> me' - just doesn't sit well with my beliefs about God. I don't

>> regret looking after my son, nor how much harder it was than if he

>> had been 'normal', but I would still have preferred him to be

>> 'normal' becasue of how much easier it would have been for him. I

>> would not tell a parent who gave up a child with disabilities, or

>> anyone who chose not to go through with a pregnancy that would result

>> in a severely disabled child that they were not living up to God's

>> expectations of them, because he would not give them this 'gift' if

>> they weren't able to bear it. I am not that well informed of either

>> God's will or the abilities of others to make that decision.

>>

>> This started with the assertion that we must do everything for every

>> child born, no matter what the cost. I still don't believe that, nor

>> do I believe it is fair to ask everyone else to share the cost of

>> doing so. It doesn't mean I believe people with disabilities are

>> worthless, just that we need to be practical. It was not meant to be

>> personal - what you do is your choice, but you can't expect everyone

>> to agree, to make the same choices you do, or to pay for you to do

>> what you choose to do. Before agreeing that 'we must do everything

>> for every child born' it might be worthwhile looking at how much that

>> would cost in money, time and effort, and what else would have to be

>> left undone if we do so.

>>

>>

>>

>> On 16/11/2010 4:06 PM, Brezen wrote:

>>

>>>

>>>

>>> My daughter loves my son so much, she helps to teach him to read and

>>> has been great for his therapies. His social skills have gone

>>> through the roof as well as his developmental skills and I truely

>>> believe it is because of her. As far as my newborn goes I know that

>>> he will be a great brother to my other son as my children have been

>>> raised to not think of people with disabilities as worthless or

>>> anything like that. My daughter knows that my son is just like her

>>> but needs a little help here and there with certain things. And

>>> when she hears other kids or even adults talking bad about someone

>>> who is " different " she gets upset because to her you are talking

>>> about her brother. Failed marriages happen all the time and FYI me

>>> and my fiance have been together for 10 years (5 of those years we

>>> have been dealing with my sons Autism) and our relationship has only

>>> become stronger. My son will never have the guilt of not living up

>>> to God's expectations because I believe he was put here for a

>>> reason, he has a purpose and if given the choice to go back in time

>>> and have him be a " normal " child I wouldn't I would keep him the

>>> same. Do you have kids? You're right having a child is good for

>>> some people, those people are strong and so so unselfish we give up

>>> alot of ourselves for our children and I don't regret it.

>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>> *From:* Riley <klriley@...>

>>> *To:* Autism and Aspergers Treatment

>>> *Sent:* Mon, November 15, 2010 10:48:56 PM

>>> *Subject:* Re: Re: New Born Baby

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Having a child with disabilities is good for some people, but if you

>>> have a look at the statistics for failed marriages as well as

>>> considering the effects on other kids, I would hesitate to draw the

>>> conclusion that whatever child you get, it is God's will that the

>>> child should have disabilities and you are capable of handling the

>>> situation. I think people with kids with disabilities have enough

>>> stress without adding the guilt of them not living up to God's

>>> expectations. Just because something is does not mean it is God's

>>> will that it should be.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> On 16/11/2010 3:02 PM, Brezen wrote:

>>>

>>>>

>>>> I agree children with disabilities are a blessing. My son is 5 and

>>>> mildly Autistic and at first I didn't think that i could handle a

>>>> child like him. But he has taught me to look at the world in a

>>>> totally different way, if i could have known that he would be like

>>>> this either before he was born or even as a newborn I would do

>>>> everything in my power to make sure he could live as " normal " a

>>>> life as possible. I was told with my 7 year old daughter that she

>>>> could have been born with Spina Bifida and they day after she was

>>>> born I was told she could have Downs Syndrome - here we are 7 years

>>>> later and she's a perfect 7 year old. I would hate to think that

>>>> there are people who would have said to never give her the chance

>>>> because look what I would have missed out on. I recently gave

>>>> birth 3 months ago to my 3rd child and to be honest when I found

>>>> out i was pregnant I wasn't too sure that I was going to go through

>>>> with this pregnancy, I was scared to have another child with Autism

>>>> but the more I looked at my other son and the more I thought about

>>>> it I knew I could handle it and would do whatever it took. I am

>>>> sad to hear when parents choose to give there special needs

>>>> children up for adoption or don't think that they should be given

>>>> the chance at life. I believe that God knows what you are capapble

>>>> of handling and gave you that precious gift to take care of.

>>>>

>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>> *From:* Jenn <WldWestWoman@...>

>>>> *To:* Autism and Aspergers Treatment

>>>> *Sent:* Mon, November 15, 2010 7:43:13 PM

>>>> *Subject:* Re: Re: New Born Baby

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> *I could never have aborted my son! When I was 4 months pregnant

>>>> with him, we found out he had Hydrocephalus (too much fluid on the

>>>> brain). It can cause severe birth defects, even death, the doctor

>>>> gave us the abortion option, we didn't believe in it, and could

>>>> never do that to any of our kids! *

>>>> **

>>>> *The Hydrocephalus cleared up, but he was diagnosed with Aspergers

>>>> and Tourette's last year. My son has taught me a lot about

>>>> uncondtional love and forgiveness, that I believe no one else could

>>>> ever teach me. My son is a blessing from God, as I believe all

>>>> these kids with disabilties are.*

>>>> **

>>>> *Jenn*

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> On Mon, Nov 15, 2010 at 9:32 AM, Cheryl <mom4girls5@...

>>>> <mailto:mom4girls5@...>> wrote:

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> I never said we should debate abortion, although I don't

>>>> believe in it. There are agencies who are willing to help

>>>> people with their preborn and born babies who have " issues. "

>>>> I'm just asking that people consider it.

>>>>

>>>> Do you have a child with autism or asperger's or ??? Do you

>>>> love child anyway?

>>>>

>>>> Mom4girls5

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> > >

>>>> > > Every measure should be used to keep alive the new born

>>>> with disability.

>>>> > > Every new born infant is a beautiful gift from god whether

>>>> he/she is normal or

>>>> > > disabled. They are precious and prevailed to our human

>>>> society. They should be ........................

>>>> >

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>

>>> Reply to sender

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[Guest guest]

Hi Jenn, I tend to agree with you, what a creep that guy was leaving at

a time like that! Oh well she was probably better off without him in the

long run. I know how difficult it is to have a disabled child and wonder

about where they will ever live when they grow up. It is tough. I even

wondered this about my so called " normal " children and there have been

some real challenges in two of them way worse than my disabled son's

problems, just think of the TV show " Intervention " that would be them,

but they are getting through it, making better choices and taking

responsibility. Thank God I have one son who figured things out and to

this day is a very balanced educated and responsible man taking care of

his family.

I figure we can either think of ourselves as victims be held captive to

our circumstances, or we can take charge of our lives and make choices

and live by the results of them.

Yes that was very sweet the girl drawing the picture for your son on the

train. I know how that feels, just a nod of compassion, a smile of

encouragement can go a long long ways. And we need to do it more with

others every day I think. There is so much negativism and criticism and

judgment in this world we have to combat it. I believe much more in

unconditional acceptance and showing love to others.

I once had an experience with my son, was really in a discouraged mood

that day some years ago, which I have been in a lot but always pushed

through it to the bright side. Anyway I was so mad that day because my

son couldn't do anything so I took him out in his wheelchair and was

pushing him along the bike trail by the river. It took a lot of strength

from me as he was big and heavy but I was so sick of him missing out on

everything. And this woman coming right at us, a jogger in nice jogging

clothes, smiled a great big smile right at us! Wow! Her recognition of

our struggle really perked me up and encouragement shot right into me.

It was soooo powerful and came right out of her to me! And not everybody

did that, or had that, in fact several guy joggers just grimaced, kind

of looked like they thought we were in their way, like they owned the

bike trail...

I have never forgotten that smile, it changed me in an instant, and when

I took my son back to the car I just knew the present trial we were in

wasn't going to last long, it wasn't going to stop us, that we would get

the strength to push on. And we did.

Let us smile more people, especially at those struggling!

I was recently on a bike ride all by myself the other day, and met two

boys and a girl at the park, and they had a little black puppy. I was

resting on a bench there after my hard ride just smiling and sweating.

We didn't talk, all I did was smile and pet their puppy. They probably

thought I was pretty old to be out there like that, they're grandma was

probably home in her rocking chair.

And I thought they were pretty young, they sure had a long road to go

down...and I had already done that and felt real good about my life.

Carolyn ;o)

Jenn wrote:

>

> *I agree with u Tara. Raising a child with a disability, especially a

> severe one, is very hard and stressful. But it sounds like this guy

> who left his wife, (in my opinion) was thinking more of himself then

> his child. And while taking care of a severely disabled child, the Mom

> should have tried to figure out a way to find time for her husband and

> kids. There are ways...*

> **

> *My son isn't severely disabled, but his Aspergers is more severe then

> a lot of people with Aspergers. He is 12 years old, but he acts more

> like he is 7 or 8 years old. He still has a hard time bathing himself,

> he doesn't know how to tie his shoes very well. And next year he is

> going to be going to Jr. High, and I am seriously thinking about

> homeschooling, because I don't think emotionally he will be able to

> handle it.*

> **

> *We believe my husband's brother who is 44, has Aspergers. And while

> he acts young for his age, he doesn't have Aspergers as severe as our

> son. I think our son will probably be living with us until we die. His

> teenage brother's say that they will help take care of him when we are

> gone, which brings comfort to me, but at the same time I feel guilt.

> And when they both get married, I am not sure how their wives would

> feel. So we are trying to figure out what to do, maybe by that time,

> he will be able to live on his own. Who knows!*

> **

> *For those who don't believe they can raise a disabled child (in my

> opinion), should not get abortions, but give them up for adoption. I

> have heard that there are people out there who are looking to adopt,

> and don't mind if the kids are disabled.*

> **

> *As far as God's will... I don't know if it is God's will to have a

> child with a disability... but I do know that thru difficulities in my

> life, my son has taught me many lessons, his disabilities has made me

> into a much stronger and better person. Because of my son's Aspergers

> and Tourettes, I can handle so many things that I never thought I

> could handle before. *

>

> *Yes, there are times I feel like giving up... I am only human. But I

> don't ever regret having my son! Despite his disabilities, he is the

> most amazing person I have ever met! He always makes me smile! And he

> has really made a difference in other's lives.*

>

> *Before I end this, I have to tell u all about something awesome that

> happened yesterday! We went on a fieldtrip with my son's class to the

> Planetarium. We rode the trax train to the frontrunner to get home. My

> son hates to be touched, and when the train started moving, some kids

> weren't holding on and bumped into my son, he almost had a meltdown,

> but held it together.*

>

> *When we got off and onto the Frontrunner, this young lady (about 19)

> that was on the trax train with us also got onto the Frontrunner. She

> mentioned my son having problems on the trax train, so I told her he

> has Aspergers. She said she also has a relative with Aspergers. *

> **

> *A few minutes later, she asked me, " What is your son's name? " I told

> her and she said to my son, " , do u like dinosaurs? " He nodded,

> and she handed him a paper with a drawing and said, " I made this for

> u! " It was a pic of a dinosaur and it said, " Smile! ... It's addicting! " *

> **

> *She was my angel for the day! It is because of people like that, that

> help encourage me when times are tough, and to never give up on my son!

>

> Love,*

> *Jenn*

>

> On Tue, Nov 16, 2010 at 12:06 AM, Taras <taras_29@...

> <mailto:taras_29@...>> wrote:

>

>

>

> I am thinking a husband that would leave due to HIS disabled child

> probably wouldn't of been able to stick around no matter what.

> Divorce rate is high, but I do know of dads that are better with

> their special needs child than the mom is. If my husband was going

> to leave because of our daughter, I say good riddance! It wouldn't

> of worked out at some point anyway. I agree raising a special

> needs child takes alot of energy and time which will definately

> have its affects on a marriage and family, so extra time should

> also be spent on marriage and time with rest of family. There is

> help out there....wether it be family, friends or government

> funded help....there are ways to make it all work.

> As far as failed marriages....husbands need to man up! Bit of

> sarcasm there....sorry...don't mean to offend anyone!! All I am

> saying is, yes it is alot of work, but it is a choice that needs a

> strong relationship which can be achieved.

>

>

>