Star1956

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb, Yes, actually I do feel better. I have always been one to hold my feelings in. A long term process Italian's were taught, to be seen but not heard. I know I can over come any thing. I proved this when I made an appointment back to Duke, just to tell the doctor, I am not mad, angry, disappointed, or depressed. He was actually more civil, at this time. As I explained to him, how can one be tested in two days for a procedure as important as a transplant. The first day of testing, after not being able to eat since 12 the night before, and the first test being 18 tubes of blood, and still I could not eat, because the last test of the day was the Doppler ultra sound, which was at 4:30. During this time of starvation, feeling weak from low sugar, while in the back of your mind, knowing you want to do your best in these tests. Not to mention the drive to the

hospital was 2 and a half hours, one way. And by the time half the day was over, pain was great. I would of told them anything, but, to slap me for being honest, that was the kicker. It's all behind me, though, the thought is still fresh, only because I have never had anyone treat me so cruelly. I picked myself up, no time for a pity party,I made an appointment with UNC. This seemed to go better, the doctor had a heart, a sense of empathy. And, I began to count my blessing, that this really was. After my testing at UNC, my meld score dropped to 11. Believe it or not, I was glad, don't get me wrong, I know the day will come that I need a transplant. But, i am in no hurry. Sure, I can't go out by myself, worried I might get sick in public, but life is not so bad. And, I know it could be worse. So, I'm still counting my blessings. I have lived with this for over 30 years. Thanks

Deb, I do need to hear what it is they are looking for when being evaluated. I seem to learn everything the hard way. Even though it was by doctor's orders. Like the pain pills, and xannax, I am off them all, so I have this licked. I'm always polite, even if I don't agree with the doctors. Heck, I remember one doctor wanted to take my spleen out, Duke said No. Here's where it is impossible to be cooperative. I really don't feel I need counseling, I am not depressed. I guess I was just tried of holding it all in for so long. Like my head just exploded. I do know this, I couldn't of made it through this last year without all of you. You gave me the knowledge, and understanding I needed. I am grateful for so many things in life, and you are right there on the top of my list. Thanks Star1956Deb <posttransplant@...> wrote: Honey - I hope you feel better for sharing with us and getting all that out of your system. I'm not in your shoes but I do understand where you are and where you are coming from and so do many others. Reach for this summer get back in that pool and enjoy whatever you are able to do even if it's sitting in the sun at first watching the water and people around you than shoot for the moon make it the stars. I always feel better around people and yep near water. I'm a beach person at heart. Looking thin malnourished and wasting for some goes along with the territory and you are tall. Cirrhosis diets also recommend enough of the good proteins per day and as you found out at times

we need special types of diets soft liquid or diet supplements. Gotta keep fueled and keep doing just be careful of overdoing it and your muscles. It does reach a stage of conflicting medical advise even from the same phy's - no you can't take that rx - now yes you can. It does change with our stage our progression our medical issues decisions and for our quality of life. Some of us reach a stage where we must face and make the hardest decisions of our lives and may need professional counseling in

doing so and to find what is in our best interests and how to better cope and handle it all. Yes it is all very crazy - confusing - frustrating for us and we need medical care with dr's we have faith in and trust. It must be hell not having a hep and tp dr - team with that faith in to help and guide you along the way. As you know esld is a very complex dx - pt and medical case needing the coordinated medical professional skills

of many different types of specialists. We run into problems with all our dr's and specialists not being on the same page and working together as 1 team. I also know very well the many problems within our medical systems and for some pt's finding and receiving the proper care and faith in their specialists - hep and tp dr's. It's not perfect and it falls upon us as the pt to make sure we find and receive the medical care we need and dr's we trust with our lives. Being viewed as a cooperative pt goes a long way and within the tp

systems. Hope and pray you find peace all along the way faith and trust in your dr's and all the best to you. Remember shoot for the stars !!!!!!!!!! Love and Hugs. Deb

Don't be flakey. Get for Mobile and always stay connected to friends.