Another OT Subject from Susi

[Guest guest]

Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days after

reading some of the posts from the group and dealing with some of my

own things, and I decided to " pour my heart out " to the group.

On Tuesday night, I came very close to admitting myself to the

hospital again. I am feeling very low and feeling like I don't fit

in anywhere or with anybody (with the exception of my family and when

I get together with my Tae-Bo friends). I am feeling very helpless

and worthless, and while I want to fight this depression and all the

feelings that come along with it, sometimes, it just seems easier to

give up.

I guess the reason I decided to say something was because of what

said about not knowing what was going on with her uncle and

what Vivian said about contacting somebody for help if anybody felt

that bad. The last time I was in the hospital, I was trying to do it

all myself because I was so tired of being a burden to everybody

else. I know that's not the way to go, but it is really difficult to

burden your loved ones with this stuff over and over and over again.

I had a mild relapse a couple of weeks ago and some of you helped me

through that one. I also had my medication adjusted, which seemed to

help a little bit. The past four or five days, I haven't really

talked to anybody about this except for Jenni and my family. I know

that's what gotten me in trouble before, so I guess that's why I am

talking now.

I am really sad. I am really scared. And I am sorry for putting

such a depressing subject on the board, but I guess you guys are

my " second family, " so you get to deal with it! =)

Susi

who is really glad she met Jenni

[Guest guest]

<< Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days after

reading some of the posts from the group and dealing with some of my

own things, and I decided to " pour my heart out " to the group.

[snip]

I am really sad. I am really scared. And I am sorry for putting

such a depressing subject on the board, but I guess you guys are

my " second family, " so you get to deal with it! =)

Susi>>

Susii

Firstly *hug* *hug* *hug*

Secondly - that's what friends are for, to listen and to lean on, to give us

a kick when need and basically just be there, just wish I could give you a

real hug ;-)

Thirdly - don't be sorry, you've just broken one of the links in the chain

that depression traps us with, well done. Be positive, keep talking :-)

It's a step in the right directions now just keep on taking those steps (no

matter how small, in time or goal) and you will gain more momentum to carry

on in that direction, so it will get easier.

Fourthly - what can I do to best help you, please ask, don't hesitate, even

if it's just to email me to 'talk'. I believe in the 'petrol (gas?) can'

principle - what someone gives to me (a can of petrol when I've run out)

then I should pass it on to the next person that I can help (who's run out

of petrol), and ask that they do the same.

Take Care

Jill