Guest guest Posted September 11, 2006 Report Share Posted September 11, 2006 It is funny to hear ourselves as we get older talking as our parents and grandparents did about morals, values, and ethics and their continual disintegration. Each generation seems to be concerned with the degeneration of the next one. Yet what's also funny is that " experts " in psychology seem to think that whatever anyone says or does is fine, and " studies " seem to back them up. I am curious to know if these " experts " know things that parents and non-parents alike do not. I see children as becoming more and more depressed, full of despair, mean, upset, angry, anxious, etc., with each passing generation. Is this only MY observation? Or do the experts feel that this sort of emotional make-up is befitting of children? Tom Administrator This is what scares me about society these days ... children are forced to grow up far too fast for the most part and those of us who want our children to experience a real childhood are seen by the experts as being too over-protective. Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2006 Report Share Posted September 11, 2006 From the animal behavior literature that someone once told me about- actually I remember, it was Prof. Leda Cosmides. She said there were studies of bird courtship behavior where when the female advanced too quickly along the sequence of steps the males would sometimes attack the female and drive her away. This must have been a fairly monogamous species. The interpretation was that the female would likely already have been impregnated and the male, if he continued to bond, would be bonding into a cuckolded relationship investing his future resources on another male's offspring. Heph ravenmagic2003 <ravenmagic2003@...> wrote: wrote: "I am speaking in general terms here and there will be exceptions on both sides. My reference to girls is based on observations from members on here, from my mother who has taught second grade for 20+ years and other articles and such) ... <snip> ..."I would like to share a story about my 11-year-old son. He met a little 8-year-old girl who is very nice and polite and soft-spoken and gentle. I have met her briefly on two occasions and she is, by immediate outward appearances, a little girl who is truly 8 years old. She wears clothing that is appropriate for an 8-year-old child and speaks as an 8-year-old child would be expected to speak.However, last week she started to dance in front of my 11-year-old and my 11-year-old -- when he related the story -- was not only shocked, but amiss as to what he should say or do to this little girl now. He told me that her dance moves were NOT anything he would want to see any girl do and that he decided from that point onwards that he will keep her at arm's length solely because of the dance moves.Where did she leave these dance moves? From watching videos? From not having proper parental intervention? From instruction by a pedophile? From older siblings? There are so many possible ways she could have learned these moves (and she didn't learn them just from seeing them once from what was described by my child).This is what scares me about society these days ... children are forced to grow up far too fast for the most part and those of us who want our children to experience a real childhood are seen by the experts as being too over-protective.RavenHephaestus Clubfoothttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hephaestushttp://www.pantheon.org/articles/h/hephaestus.htmlhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabeiroi Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Small Business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2006 Report Share Posted September 11, 2006 It is interesting to note that sometimes it is the kids themselves that take on the new initiatives. When I was in high school there were kids that started social clubs around chess and science fiction. The idea was to " keep themselves off the streets " or to keep them from engaging in other dangerous behaviors. These clubs were started by kids who were anti-drug and " let's save it for marriage " to begin with, or else they were religious, and the " free thinkers " among the high school populace soon shot down these clubs as being the result of the religious right manifesting itself. They soon became clubs for anti-social people and " dweebs. " The clubs DID last, however, although the membership eventually changed and the original intentions behind the clubs were lost. Soon it became social to be in these clubs, but the kids in them were doing all the things that the clubs were originally created to avoid. Tom Administrator However, there does seem to be a backlash against this. The number of students avoiding those behaviors is rising, though it seems to be a temporary respite falling off as soon as they go to the great cultural cesspits called college. It seems like we may be looking at another divide not just politically or along financial lines, but the barbarians vs. the civilized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 11, 2006 Report Share Posted September 11, 2006 It is interesting to note that sometimes it is the kids themselves that take on the new initiatives. When I was in high school there were kids that started social clubs around chess and science fiction. The idea was to " keep themselves off the streets " or to keep them from engaging in other dangerous behaviors. These clubs were started by kids who were anti-drug and " let's save it for marriage " to begin with, or else they were religious, and the " free thinkers " among the high school populace soon shot down these clubs as being the result of the religious right manifesting itself. They soon became clubs for anti-social people and " dweebs. " The clubs DID last, however, although the membership eventually changed and the original intentions behind the clubs were lost. Soon it became social to be in these clubs, but the kids in them were doing all the things that the clubs were originally created to avoid. Tom Administrator However, there does seem to be a backlash against this. The number of students avoiding those behaviors is rising, though it seems to be a temporary respite falling off as soon as they go to the great cultural cesspits called college. It seems like we may be looking at another divide not just politically or along financial lines, but the barbarians vs. the civilized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I think that perhaps there have always been some children that have been/are depressed etc. What I do know that has changed at least in this country is previously it was thought that children could not be depressed, this is a least recognised now in this country - doesn't always mean they get the help they need though :-( and there are always plenty of old school people around who believe that children can't be depressed/stressed etc and that children don't need the time of day or to be listened to etc - sad, but true :-( > > It is funny to hear ourselves as we get older talking as our parents > and grandparents did about morals, values, and ethics and their > continual disintegration. Each generation seems to be concerned with > the degeneration of the next one. > > Yet what's also funny is that " experts " in psychology seem to think > that whatever anyone says or does is fine, and " studies " seem to back > them up. I am curious to know if these " experts " know things that > parents and non-parents alike do not. > > I see children as becoming more and more depressed, full of despair, > mean, upset, angry, anxious, etc., with each passing generation. Is > this only MY observation? Or do the experts feel that this sort of > emotional make-up is befitting of children? > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I think that perhaps there have always been some children that have been/are depressed etc. What I do know that has changed at least in this country is previously it was thought that children could not be depressed, this is a least recognised now in this country - doesn't always mean they get the help they need though :-( and there are always plenty of old school people around who believe that children can't be depressed/stressed etc and that children don't need the time of day or to be listened to etc - sad, but true :-( > > It is funny to hear ourselves as we get older talking as our parents > and grandparents did about morals, values, and ethics and their > continual disintegration. Each generation seems to be concerned with > the degeneration of the next one. > > Yet what's also funny is that " experts " in psychology seem to think > that whatever anyone says or does is fine, and " studies " seem to back > them up. I am curious to know if these " experts " know things that > parents and non-parents alike do not. > > I see children as becoming more and more depressed, full of despair, > mean, upset, angry, anxious, etc., with each passing generation. Is > this only MY observation? Or do the experts feel that this sort of > emotional make-up is befitting of children? > > Tom > Administrator > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I feel sorry for the females that were just quick learners with a smattering of intuition and forward thinking as to the sequence of moves. > > > From the animal behavior literature that someone once told me about- actually I remember, it was Prof. Leda Cosmides. She said there were studies of bird courtship behavior where when the female advanced too quickly along the sequence of steps the males would sometimes attack the female and drive her away. This must have been a fairly monogamous species. The interpretation was that the female would likely already have been impregnated and the male, if he continued to bond, would be bonding into a cuckolded relationship investing his future resources on another male's offspring. > > Heph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I feel sorry for the females that were just quick learners with a smattering of intuition and forward thinking as to the sequence of moves. > > > From the animal behavior literature that someone once told me about- actually I remember, it was Prof. Leda Cosmides. She said there were studies of bird courtship behavior where when the female advanced too quickly along the sequence of steps the males would sometimes attack the female and drive her away. This must have been a fairly monogamous species. The interpretation was that the female would likely already have been impregnated and the male, if he continued to bond, would be bonding into a cuckolded relationship investing his future resources on another male's offspring. > > Heph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Well as far back as I can recall first person memories/feelings (say 6th/7th grade) I've been depressed, lonely, frustrated, self-loathing, not understood or listened to, etc... Before that events and feeling seem more second hand observation... That's sort of been the background music and lighting for my life... not that there weren't some good times... it's just that they seem to be exceptions and in retrospect not all that good... Like Kermit says... " It's not easy being green. " Ender At 07:47 PM 9/11/2006, you wrote: >I think that perhaps there have always been some children that have >been/are depressed etc. > >What I do know that has changed at least in this country is >previously it was thought that children could not be depressed, this >is a least recognised now in this country - doesn't always mean they >get the help they need though :-( and there are always plenty of old >school people around who believe that children can't be >depressed/stressed etc and that children don't need the time of day >or to be listened to etc - sad, but true :-( > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Remember, psychologists and children alike have been brainwashed for generations now by TV commercials which tell us that we are never good enough unless we buy whatever they are trying to sell us. Thus never can anyone achieve acceptance in the eyes of ANYONE. No wonder people are more depressed now. The other thing commercials tell us is that it is wrong to be unhappy. Happiness and unhappiness are emotions like any other. A person should be allowed their emotions whether they are perceived as " good " or " bad. " We have emotions for a reason: They are expressions of how we feel and they also TELL us how we are feeling. To suddenly be told to shut them off is wrong. The fact that we have so many " bad " emotions these days just shows how bad things are. So why go into denial? Instead of trying to squash the emotions, why not try to fix what's wrong with the society thatis causing the problem? Of course the answer to this is that the social system as it is now is " right " in the eyes of the majority, and to try to fix what's wrong would mean making the assertion that the majority of the people in this world are messed up. No one is prepared to hear that right now. Tom Administrator I see children as becoming more and more depressed, full of despair, mean, upset, angry, anxious, etc., with each passing generation. Is this only MY observation? Or do the experts feel that this sort of emotional make-up is befitting of children? Tom Administrator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 > > " Happiness and unhappiness are emotions like any other. A person > should be allowed their emotions whether they are perceived as " good " > or " bad. " > > We have emotions for a reason: They are expressions of how we feel > and they also TELL us how we are feeling. To suddenly be told to shut > them off is wrong. > > The fact that we have so many " bad " emotions these days just shows > how bad things are. > > So why go into denial? > > Instead of trying to squash the emotions, why not try to fix what's > wrong with the society thatis causing the problem? > > Of course the answer to this is that the social system as it is now > is " right " in the eyes of the majority, and to try to fix what's > wrong would mean making the assertion that the majority of the people > in this world are messed up. > > No one is prepared to hear that right now. " > >How true. We see a manifestation of this with pain medication as well. Of course, sometimes you need it, but the pain is there for a reason and covering up could lead to problems as you continually ignore your body's signals to you, and don't fix the problem. Everyone wants to sweep everything under the rug and continue going on momentum. I really hate the commercials and other media that tell people if they don't have this perfect life and happiness that they aren't good enough, and that it's THEIR fault: " Everyone else is doing fine, what's your problem? You must be a screwup " . We are all suffering in this world. While I understand the memorial for the 911 victims there are a lot more victims in this world. I say if you're not unhappy at least sometimes something is wrong with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 My mum often says she is happy. She reads a lot of positive thinking books that tell you to say you are happy even if you are not, but they are just words. I find when talking to her she is not really happy - so I am confused as to why she says she is. Okay so the positive thinking books tell her to, but it does not change the fact that she is not happy. As for pain killers often if I have some pain, I generally know what is causing it. Some types of pain such as a headache I will often not take painkillers for, but if I suspect a migraine is coming on I take pain killers pretty quick as I know from experience that the pain of a migraine can get very bad. Also my wrist has been playing up recently (carpal tunnel) and I have been wearing a wrist strap, it is painful, but not majorly so, so I often do not take pain killers for such; then of course there is that annoying and very painful pain that comes once a month for women and yes I take pain killers for that. > >How true. We see a manifestation of this with pain medication as > well. Of course, sometimes you need it, but the pain is there for a > reason and covering up could lead to problems as you continually > ignore your body's signals to you, and don't fix the problem. > Everyone wants to sweep everything under the rug and continue going > on momentum. > > I really hate the commercials and other media that tell people if > they don't have this perfect life and happiness that they aren't good > enough, and that it's THEIR fault: " Everyone else is doing fine, > what's your problem? You must be a screwup " . We are all suffering in > this world. While I understand the memorial for the 911 victims there > are a lot more victims in this world. > > I say if you're not unhappy at least sometimes something is wrong > with you. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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