Meltdowns.....just need to get it out

September 14, 2008

That is such a good suggestion! I hope Janine gives it a shot. At least her daughter will be safe and they can get some relief /break/rest while the doctors figure out what is going on. ____________________________________________________________

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September 15, 2008

Hi Judy!

Thanks so much for your advice on the coffee. I told my husband

about this and we decided that we will speak with her therapists and

Peds doc to see if this is an option for her. I am open to trying

anything. I just am glad to know that I am not alone out there.

That my child indeed is not the only child who has these meltdowns.

I will let you know what they say and if we do try it, how it works.

Thanks again,

Janine

>

> hi Janine,

>

> I know where you're coming from. My son who has Autism and All

kinds of sensory issues along with other things, he used to have

meltdowns at nap/bed time and through a LOT of trial and error (his

many therapists were little help in that area and he's not going to

take meds) one afternoon I decided to give him a baby bottle full of

coffee..and on my gosh how it worked. I cleared it with his peds dr

and she told me it was fine and that in fact they give preemies

caffeine supplements to regulate their body's while in the nicu.

Sooooo for the last year, before every nap/night time he gets his

bottle of coffee/creamer/sugar and he falls a sleep like a dream,

while he still has his night terrors they are not as bad as taking 3

hours just to get him to bed and nothing that I have tried does

anything for them.

>

> good luck

> Judy

September 15, 2008

Hi .

You guys do not know how much it means to open my email and see

reponses to my post. I feel like I have supporters there.

I like your advice as well, and I will be speaking with her

therapists about this as well. My only problem is that she can be so

decieving. She can fool people she doesn't know. So, I am wondering

what they could do so that she would show her " true " colors. I would

love for her to be on something that would work for her

consistantly. We will see, I will keep you all posted.

Thanks again,

Janine

>

> Ask for an inpatient evaluation. I told my son's psychiatrist that

we were at our wits end. His meds had been adjust for the 4th or 5th

time and I said enough! At the time he was admitted he was on at

least 14 different meds, (ADHD, bipolar, OCD, anxiety, depression,

sleep disorder). Anyway - he was on an inpatient basis for 10 days.

He now takes

> much fewer medications and more supplements and his behavior is

stable - even good. It was one of the most difficult decisions to

make but I am very thankful that we did.

September 15, 2008

Hi ,

Thank you so much for your kind words. Krystal is a very challenging

child but we love her all the same. I have spoken with her

therapists and have audio taped her meltdowns, just so her therapists

can hear just how bad things can get. Her Psychiatrists eyes about

popped out of his head when he heard the screams, banging and

stomping coming for this sweet little girl that acts so quiet around

them. It is funny that you should mention the bi-polar issue. Her

biological mother was diagnosed with that disorder. It wouldn't at

all surprise me if that comes around.

We have been on so many different medications it isn't funny. We

have been on medications that have made her hallucinate, made her

almost comatose, and then there are the meds that just didn't work at

all.

As for support.....that is a whole other issue that we are dealing

with. We have been trying to get support and get knocked down

everytime. We keep getting told that she is " too high functioning " .

But I have not completely stopped trying, we are still trying to push

open doors. It has been a fight from the get go on every issue.

Again, I will be taking these ideas and adice to her therapist to see

where we can go next.

Thanks so much for the advice.

Janine

>

> You have taken on a heroic undertaking with your two children. It

sounds like Krystal is a very challenging child, bless your hearts.

> If your daughter is getting violent with you, I would really have a

heart to heart with the psychiatrist and psychologist. Tell them

what is or isn't working...in fact, you could videotape what you

experience a few nights in a row and then show it to them. If you

don't own a video recorder, ask around and borrow one. Although I am

not keen on giving my Aspie son meds, it does help him in school, so

I know what you mean.

> There are medications that can help with violent or aggressive

tendencies. Have they ruled out bipolar disorder.? My niece (13) is

living with it and it sounds very similar to what you described.

She's better with mood stabilizers (lithium works best for her) Adhd

meds caused her to escalate and anti depressants also made her

tantrums worse (took away the underlying depression but the mania was

still there and unopposed so it got tremendously worse, and

violent.) I would look into that for your daughter...

> I would contact the community service board or similar entitiy in

your town or county and ask for some support, whether it be in home

behavioral support or something akin to that.

> Hang in there, I'll be praying for you.

>

> ____________________________________________________________

September 16, 2008

Hi, Janine.

Just wanted to let you know, I feel your pain even though we don't

quite have the same issues.

We have different issues with our son, nothing as extreme as what

you're going through, but I have the challenge of being obsessive

compulsive and dealing with the impatience that comes along when

things don't go my way or are out of my control. I'm finding some of

the same issues with myself with our 4-week-old. I know there is

really nothing I can do, and yet as an OCD mother I feel that there

must be something and when I can't figure out what to do or how to fix

it...I feel like the worst mom ever.

No, we may not have exactly the same issues, but we have the same

feelings of sometimes feeling inadequate and at our wit's end.

I know we've just met, but I willingly offer a cyberhug to you.

Darlene

> Meltdowns...

>

> Hi there.

>

> I have not posted here but read everyones entries hoping that I may

> come across one that I could give advice on or how we handled a

> difficult situation. But here I am just looking for someone to hear

> me, let me vent and know that it is ok that I feel like I feel.

>

> We have 2 special needs kids. Our daughter (whom I have guardianship

> over as her biological mom lost rights)She just turned 11 and was

> diagnosed with PDD-NOS and ADHD. She also has a sleep disorder and

> stomach issues as well. We have an alarm on her door so that she

> doesn't escape or get out to get into things that can hurt her. We

> have legally adopted her brother who just turned 5 and can't talk or

> feed himself yet. He was born a crack baby but is one of the most

> lovable kids you would meet. We had already had guardianship of

> Krystal when the other kids were taken into custody by the state and

> she was pregnant with Brenden. We fostered Brenden and then adopted

> when the time came for us to be able to, Krystal was supposed to be on

> the adoption petition but with things involving 2 counties we were

> told that was not possible. We would love to adopt her but after

> fighting for 2 years for social security and medical benefits,

> adopting her now we would lose it all. She doesn't know that we are

> not her real parents, and once she turns 18, we will legally adopt her

> because she will be eligible for more services by then. (sorry I

> thought a little background would help)

>

> Krystal is our difficult child. She has meltdowns that are out of

> control. She sees a psychiatrist and a psychologist. She is on

> medications for her ADHD and for sleeping. (I know that many of you

> are against that, but this seems to help with Krystal) She is in a

> regular school but in a LD classroom. We try to give her things and

> help her to be and act as normal as possible. She lacks concept. She

> has the mentality of a 4-5 year old. So, she likes to do things that

> would be in the 4-5 year old age range. This child has no fear. She

> would walk away with a complete stranger and think it is ok. But my

> biggest issue with her is the meltdowns. I would say that her

> meltdowns are about 90% at bedtime. She is very destructive. If she

> gets mad at us she will break things intentionally. She has pulled

> out all her drawers and stood on them upside down to make the bottoms

> collapse. If we put her in time out, she will stand there and poop

> her pants. She will intentionally pick her nose to make it bleed, she

> does anything to get attention. This child can poop, pee and vomit on

> demand. As she gets older, the meltdowns seem to get worse. I guess

> it is her hormones starting to kick in. We love this child with

> everything we have. Last week I told her psychiatrist, she may not

> need sleep, but I do. Lately she pushes me to my max, screams and

> screams at the top of her lungs for no reason. Again this happens

> mostly at bedtime. Doesn't matter if we have had the best day in the

> world, she breaks down at night. In the end, I am exhausted from

> yelling at her, and it makes me feel like a horrible person that I

> cannot control my own daughter. That I stand there and scream at her

> because I get all worked up because every suggestion that her

> therapists give doesn't work and I feel at wits ends. My husband gets

> the same way. We have had to put ourselves in time out because we

> have gotten so close to the boiling point. Makes me feel like a bad

> person. I don't have anyone in my life that would understand what we

> are going through. I have family members that say that we should just

> put her in an institution and get visitation. I don't believe that.

> I think Krystal has come so far since we have gotten her. There are

> days when she is sweet as pie......then there are days....well you all

> know what I am saying. Somedays my husband and I sit waiting for the

> cops to show up at the door from all the screaming. Not to say that

> they would do much, we have documentation and what not showing she is

> not your typical child. Not to mention, she is not abused and she is

> well taken care of.

>

> SIGHHHHH....

>

> Sorry this was longer than I thought I would write, I just needed to

> get it out....and maybe someone out there can relate to the meltdowns

> and give a little advice or a cyber hug....at this point, I am up for

> anything.

>

> Thanks to all of you who read this,

> Janine

>

> **************Psssst...Have you heard the news? There's a new

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>

September 19, 2008

Janine - sorry I haven't responded until now. We did not have electricity for five days. One thing that I saw in my son was that the first day he was mad at me for having him admitted., the second day we were told that he was opening up but the information they related to us was inconsistent, if not a flat out lie. The third day he cried and wanted to come home and would be willing to do anything to come home. The forth, we resolved himself to cooperate and take advantage of what they were trying to do for him. Now I know that some of the roller coaster was because they were weaning him from some meds and introducing others. I can understand your concern that she may manipulate the people trying to help her - that is what my son was doing on the outpatient

basis. The clinic did intensive individual and group therapy sessions with both the psychiatrist and psychologist.

Re: Meltdowns.....just need to get it out

Hi .You guys do not know how much it means to open my email and see reponses to my post. I feel like I have supporters there. I like your advice as well, and I will be speaking with her therapists about this as well. My only problem is that she can be so decieving. She can fool people she doesn't know. So, I am wondering what they could do so that she would show her "true" colors. I would love for her to be on something that would work for her consistantly. We will see, I will keep you all posted.Thanks again,Janine>> Ask for an inpatient evaluation. I told my son's psychiatrist that we were at our wits end. His meds had been adjust

for the 4th or 5th time and I said enough! At the time he was admitted he was on at least 14 different meds, (ADHD, bipolar, OCD, anxiety, depression, sleep disorder). Anyway - he was on an inpatient basis for 10 days. He now takes > much fewer medications and more supplements and his behavior is stable - even good. It was one of the most difficult decisions to make but I am very thankful that we did.

September 20, 2008

We found Abilify for my son... 6 year old, Aspergergers Syndrome . , and it was the magic bullet. We have had to adjust it once because he is growing,, I could tell the dosage was not enough because he started having "meltdowns" again.Just ONE med, and he is a diferrent human being. Used to have MAJOR meltdowns, just like you described, especially at dinner time or bedtime. Don't give up, don't yell.. Get the right meds, and to hell what other people think. This is YOUR life, and your CHILD'S life, and everyone elses opinion don't mean SQUAT.

From: patricia Orozco <paohlaw@...>Subject: Re: Meltdowns.....just need to get it outAutism and Aspergers Treatment Date: Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 8:38 AM

Ask for an inpatient evaluation. I told my son's psychiatrist that we were at our wits end. His meds had been adjust for the 4th or 5th time and I said enough! At the time he was admitted he was on at least 14 different meds, (ADHD, bipolar, OCD, anxiety, depression, sleep disorder). Anyway - he was on an inpatient basis for 10 days. He now takes much fewer medications and more supplements and his behavior is stable - even good. It was one of the most difficult decisions to make but I am very thankful that we did.

Meltdowns... ..just need to get it out

Hi there.I have not posted here but read everyones entries hoping that I maycome across one that I could give advice on or how we handled adifficult situation. But here I am just looking for someone to hearme, let me vent and know that it is ok that I feel like I feel.We have 2 special needs kids. Our daughter (whom I have guardianshipover as her biological mom lost rights)She just turned 11 and wasdiagnosed with PDD-NOS and ADHD. She also has a sleep disorder andstomach issues as well. We have an alarm on her door so that shedoesn't escape or get out to get into things that can hurt her. Wehave legally adopted her brother who just turned 5 and can't talk orfeed himself yet. He was born a crack baby but is one of the mostlovable kids you would meet. We had already had guardianship ofKrystal when the other kids were taken into custody by the state andshe was pregnant with Brenden. We

fostered Brenden and then adoptedwhen the time came for us to be able to, Krystal was supposed to be onthe adoption petition but with things involving 2 counties we weretold that was not possible. We would love to adopt her but afterfighting for 2 years for social security and medical benefits,adopting her now we would lose it all. She doesn't know that we arenot her real parents, and once she turns 18, we will legally adopt herbecause she will be eligible for more services by then. (sorry Ithought a little background would help)Krystal is our difficult child. She has meltdowns that are out ofcontrol. She sees a psychiatrist and a psychologist. She is onmedications for her ADHD and for sleeping. (I know that many of youare against that, but this seems to help with Krystal) She is in aregular school but in a LD classroom. We try to give her things andhelp her to be and act as normal as possible.

She lacks concept. Shehas the mentality of a 4-5 year old. So, she likes to do things thatwould be in the 4-5 year old age range. This child has no fear. Shewould walk away with a complete stranger and think it is ok. But mybiggest issue with her is the meltdowns. I would say that hermeltdowns are about 90% at bedtime. She is very destructive. If shegets mad at us she will break things intentionally. She has pulledout all her drawers and stood on them upside down to make the bottomscollapse. If we put her in time out, she will stand there and poopher pants. She will intentionally pick her nose to make it bleed, shedoes anything to get attention. This child can poop, pee and vomit ondemand. As she gets older, the meltdowns seem to get worse. I guessit is her hormones starting to kick in. We love this child witheverything we have. Last week I told her psychiatrist, she may notneed sleep, but I do.

Lately she pushes me to my max, screams andscreams at the top of her lungs for no reason. Again this happensmostly at bedtime. Doesn't matter if we have had the best day in theworld, she breaks down at night. In the end, I am exhausted fromyelling at her, and it makes me feel like a horrible person that Icannot control my own daughter. That I stand there and scream at herbecause I get all worked up because every suggestion that hertherapists give doesn't work and I feel at wits ends. My husband getsthe same way. We have had to put ourselves in time out because wehave gotten so close to the boiling point. Makes me feel like a badperson. I don't have anyone in my life that would understand what weare going through. I have family members that say that we should justput her in an institution and get visitation. I don't believe that. I think Krystal has come so far since we have gotten her. There

aredays when she is sweet as pie......then there are days....well you allknow what I am saying. Somedays my husband and I sit waiting for thecops to show up at the door from all the screaming. Not to say thatthey would do much, we have documentation and what not showing she isnot your typical child. Not to mention, she is not abused and she iswell taken care of.SIGHHHHH....Sorry this was longer than I thought I would write, I just needed toget it out....and maybe someone out there can relate to the meltdownsand give a little advice or a cyber hug....at this point, I am up foranything.Thanks to all of you who read this,Janine

September 21, 2008

Dear Janine,

Did I suggest Truehope? If not, you might want to take a look at their website. The whole story of how their product originated is interesting and inspiring. (No, it isn't a multi-level marketing thing!) It's real people needing answers and finding them. And their support is real people who use Empower or have relatives/children using it.

What's very good about it is that it isn't a drug and it does work for many. And that each person using it is important.

Love,

Francine

In a message dated 9/20/2008 11:03:08 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, paohlaw@... writes:

Janine - sorry I haven't responded until now. We did not have electricity for five days. One thing that I saw in my son was that the first day he was mad at me for having him admitted., the second day we were told that he was opening up but the information they related to us was inconsistent, if not a flat out lie. The third day he cried and wanted to come home and would be willing to do anything to come home. The forth, we resolved himself to cooperate and take advantage of what they were trying to do for him. Now I know that some of the roller coaster was because they were weaning him from some meds and introducing others. I can understand your concern that she may manipulate the people trying to help her - that is what my son was doing on the outpatient basis. The clinic did intensive individual and group therapy sessions with both the psychiatrist and psychologist.

Re: Meltdowns.....just need to get it out

Hi .You guys do not know how much it means to open my email and see reponses to my post. I feel like I have supporters there. I like your advice as well, and I will be speaking with her therapists about this as well. My only problem is that she can be so decieving. She can fool people she doesn't know. So, I am wondering what they could do so that she would show her "true" colors. I would love for her to be on something that would work for her consistantly. We will see, I will keep you all posted.Thanks again,Janine>> Ask for an inpatient evaluation. I told my son's psychiatrist that we were at our wits end. His meds had been adjust for the 4th or 5th time and I said enough! At the time he was admitted he was on at least 14 different meds, (ADHD, bipolar, OCD, anxiety, depression, sleep disorder). Anyway - he was on an inpatient basis for 10 days. He now takes > much fewer medications and more supplements and his behavior is stable - even good. It was one of the most difficult decisions to make but I am very thankful that we did.

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September 25, 2008

Hi,

I am new to the group. My son is a high functioning autistic

child. He has been on Abilify for a couple of years. He was seeing and

hearing some things that weren't there, and the Abilify helped that

problem immediately. But in the last couple of months, he became

aggressive to the point of where I had to call out the police because

he found a steel pipe in the back yard and started hitting the walls

and threatened to hit my daughter and me with it. Among other things,

the Abilify caused a rise in his blood pressure, and he had to be put

on medicine for that. He also gained a lot of weight. I recently took

him off the Abilify, and he is noticibly calmer, no longer sweats

profusely, and has begun to lose some weight.

I'm NOT saying that Abilify or ANY other medication is to be avoided,

but PLEASE read up on the medication thoroughly BEFORE you decide to

put your child on anything. There are MANY side effects that aren't

worth the risks, but you will ultimately have to decide for yourself.

NO medication can make EVERYTHING better, and some CAN make things

WORSE. It is literally a case of TRIAL and ERROR. I have learned this

the hard way, and from now on I plan to look up the medication on the

internet BEFORE I give my child or even myself any medication. Many

blessings to all, :-) DIANE

>

> From: patricia Orozco <paohlaw@...>

> Subject: Re: Meltdowns.....just need to get it out

> Autism and Aspergers Treatment

> Date: Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 8:38 AM

>

> Ask for an inpatient evaluation. I told my son's psychiatrist that

we were at our wits end. His meds had been adjust for the 4th or 5th

time and I said enough! At the time he was admitted he was on at

least 14 different meds, (ADHD, bipolar, OCD, anxiety, depression,

sleep disorder). Anyway - he was on an inpatient basis for 10 days.

He now takes

> much fewer medications and more supplements and his behavior is

stable - even good. It was one of the most difficult decisions to

make but I am very thankful that we did.

>

> Meltdowns... ..just need to get it out