Like everyone

[Guest guest]

That post about military school reminded me of something else. I think we are doing today's children wrong by telling them have to like and get along with everyone. That just isn't possible. I've heard it said that 10% of people you meet will like you, 10% will hate you, and the remaining 80% will be in between with most being indifferent. That is probably close to true. At military school, there were about 500 people in the upper school. of those I had about 5 or 6 good friends, about as many enemies, and most everyone else was somewhere else along the spectrum with most not knowing much about me beyond my rank and company.

How you act can influence that 80% though. If you are a jerk, then that 80% will be less favorably inclined toward you. If you are alright, then they will be more inclined to like you. In my case, when I was an officer my senior year, I was one of the smallest cadets at the school, even though I was a senior. Even so, I had very few problems. My reputation was one of being laid back and fair, but if you didn't take a warning, then you would be on report. It was also that I wasn't a hypocrite, doing things I told others not to, nor did I cut friends and slack either. Because of that, if I told people to take the horseplay into their rooms or to the gym, they did it. Other officers would get backtalk or have other trouble, but I rarely did. There was even this one great big fellow that said he never thought he take orders from a little guy like me in his life, but because I was "cool" he stopped horseplaying in the halls just like everyone else. To my surprise, they behaved the rest of the afternoon, which was good because I would have put the lot of them on report had I caught them at it again.

So, kids should be taught that not everyone will like them nor will they like everyone. That's just the way it is. They should be taught to be civil and polite and to avoid confrontation if they can. Those people that don't like them? Forget about them and avoid them. If they won't quit, tell the staff and their parents. That's getting into the matter of bullying though which is different from people you don't like. But its not that hard to avoid people you don't like or to be civil to them those times when you can't.

This is really important today when violence is so common. If the kids were just taught this simple truism and weren't so pumped up on false self-esteem, then most of that violence would vanish. Also unfortunately it is too dangerous these days to actually try to settle matters with a fight. These days I doubt they would stop if they knocked you down but would try to kick you head in, and there is always the danger of a knife or gun, or getting attacked in revenge later. When I was young, if you had a fight that was usually the end of it. Shake hands after and that was that, most of the time.

Telling kids they have to like everyone and everyone has to like them is a bad thing.