Re: Parents of autistic boy sue district

[Guest guest]

" I believe moms have more negative feelings than men simply because

moms tend to have a more active role in child rearing and thus

intertwine their personal failures with their child's AS oddities and

thus resent the child. "

Now this confuses me, I would have thought that spending more time

with one's child would make a bond stronger and enable one to see

just how precious each child is - unless of course the person

spending time with the child resents having to spend that time -

which makes me wonder why have kids if one wasn't prepared to spend

time with them. I think that any effort required by one is far out

weighed by the benefits anyway.

>

> " And is usually women who have these issues? Why do I always hear

> about mothers ,and have talked to one mother myself, who have these

> negative feelings about their Aspergers children? I do know one

> mother of an Asperger child who has done the opposite and has

spoiled

> and babied her son and that's not good either.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My mother got more frustrated with me as I got older because all her

efforts to get me to be a " normal person " failed. When she began

getting criticism from other parents about how weird I was, she blamed

me for CHOOSING to be strange, and then she resented me until I got my

diagnosis as an adult. Then she " forgave me " because I couldn't help

being weird if I was " mentally ill. "

And you all wonder why I am such a happy camper.

Tom

Administrator

" I believe moms have more negative feelings than men simply because

moms tend to have a more active role in child rearing and thus

intertwine their personal failures with their child's AS oddities and

thus resent the child. "

Now this confuses me, I would have thought that spending more time

with one's child would make a bond stronger and enable one to see

just how precious each child is - unless of course the person

spending time with the child resents having to spend that time -

which makes me wonder why have kids if one wasn't prepared to spend

time with them. I think that any effort required by one is far out

weighed by the benefits anyway.

[Guest guest]

Ha, my mum has come out with similar things. One was that I try to be

different, well actually no - I used to try and fit in and failed

miserably. Another one that I was quite mad with her about was that

if she had not had children to my dad (my brother and I) she would

have had 'normal' children. I went mad with her for that comment, it

was kind of like saying my brother and I were not good enough, but I

guess that is the message we have both had throughout our lives.

I challenge a lot of my mothers misconceptions and my brother and I

are not particularly bad people, but I really think my mother had an

ideal of how her children should have been and my brother and I did

not fit that criteria. I know she is hurting with the fact that

neither my brother or I were particularly 'lovey dovey' children and

we often pushed her away because we needed space - she saw this as

rejection and not that we just needed a bit of space :-(

>

> " I believe moms have more negative feelings than men simply because

> moms tend to have a more active role in child rearing and thus

> intertwine their personal failures with their child's AS oddities

and

> thus resent the child. "

>

> Now this confuses me, I would have thought that spending more time

> with one's child would make a bond stronger and enable one to see

> just how precious each child is - unless of course the person

> spending time with the child resents having to spend that time -

> which makes me wonder why have kids if one wasn't prepared to spend

> time with them. I think that any effort required by one is far out

> weighed by the benefits anyway.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> " Many parents have quit the FF over the yegars voicing this woman's

> exact view about their own AS kids in no uncertain terms. "

>

Wow. What did they hope for when they joined FF?

I wonder how people will feel as it becomes clearer just how many

people are AS?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/22/2006 3:08:11 AM Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes:

My mother got more frustrated with me as I got older because all her efforts to get me to be a "normal person" failed. When she began getting criticism from other parents about how weird I was, she blamed me for CHOOSING to be strange, and then she resented me until I got my diagnosis as an adult. Then she "forgave me" because I couldn't help being weird if I was "mentally ill."And you all wonder why I am such a happy camper.TomAdministrator

My mother is the same. She hates that I don't have a lot of "real life friends." I tell her I've got friends online and she goes into a tizzy about that not being good enough. She doesn't like the way I live, which is hurting anyone including myself and I am even doing some good by my charitable giving. Granted I wouldn't mind if some things changed, but if they don't, I won't be broken up about it.

And, of course, I'm not allowed to state the obvious. If I even mention AS, she goes nuts.