How Wrong Can One Person Be? WAS: AS Parenting

[Guest guest]

Pallordet wrote: " What people have described on this forum

does not match my experience as a child raised by AS parents.

Neither does it match the experience of many other children raised

by AS parents ... <snip> ... "

, while it does not match YOUR experience as a child raised by

AS parents, you cannot speak on behalf of other people's experiences

as children being raised by AS parents unless they have specifically

directed you to do so (which I doubt they have done.).

wrote: " I suggest people have a look at the following

website: http://www.aspar.klattu.com.au/ where you will find (grown-

up) children of AS parents relating their experiences and supporting

one another. "

While it is good that these people have a forum where they can

discuss their personal past experiences, there are a great number of

forums for Adult Children Of Alcoholics (ACOA) where adults discuss

similarly impossible pasts as the one that you have hinted at for

yourself.

wrote: " We as Aspies display an uneven pattern of strengths

and weaknesses; understanding, and coping with, social situations,

is the main weakness. Parenting our children is a situation that we

will find difficult and where we will make serious mistakes, like in

any other social situation; except that this time the consequences

can be, and often are, far more serious. "

, a poor parent is a poor parent regardless of a diagnosis.

You are attributing bad parenting skills to a disorder when that is

not the case. There are parents with AS who are rotten parents and

there are parents who are non-AS who are rotten parents. There are

parents with AS who are incredible parents and there are parents who

are non-AS who are incredible parents.

AS has nothing whatsoever to do with whether a person will be a good

parent or a poor parent.

Just as we say that all ladies are women but not all women are

ladies, all poor parents with AS are parents but not all parents

with AS are poor parents.

Got it yet, mon ami?

wrote: " I do not accept that Aspies have as good a natural

ability to parent children than NTs have. However, like any other

social skill, this is one where we can improve by learning

scientifically. "

That's your decision to negate facts in evidence based on your

personal experience. There are countless proven instances of

natural parenting ability by AS parents when dealing with AS and NT

children. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with 'learning

scientifically.'

Either you put the effort into being a parent just as you would put

the effort in to being effective at your career employement or you

treat it like a part-time hobby that you get around to from time to

time which, if that was a job, would result in losing your job. In

the parenting world, it results in children who are poorly parented.

wrote: " The experiences of children raised by AS parents are

here for us to learn from. They can be used positively by AS parents

to adapt their parenting before their children get emotionally

damaged. And they can be used positively by AS non-parents to help

us decide whether we want to have children. "

OK, you really are making ignorant comments that have no scientific

proof, no medical research to support your alleged facts, and

anecdotal evidence coupled with wild allegations based on ONE

website you frequent.

When you can provide proof and facts from a number of sources, we

can discuss your unfounded claims.

You claim to have been raised (at age 35) by parents who were/are

AS. Are both your parents diagnosed AS by a medical practitioner or

is this your personal observation based on an online self-diagnosis

questionnaire? When were they diagnosed? When were you diagnosed?

Do your parents have siblings? Have those siblings been diagnosed

with AS? If so, are they as rotten at parenting as you claim your

parents have been? If so, are your grandparents diagnosed with AS

(since they would have raised your parents and their siblings)?

Do your grandparents have siblings? Have those grand-siblings been

diagnosed with AS? If so, were they as rotten at parenting as you

claim your parents were and that you may then claim your

grandparents to have been?

Maybe it's nothing more than a case that you are descendant from a

long line of rotten parents and it has nothing whatsoever to do with

AS. Have you ever considered that possibility?

Here's food for thought ... Wayne Gacy, Clifford Olson, Karla

Homolka and Bernardo are all described as NT and yet they

visited unspeakable horrors on children. There isn't even a HINT of

AS anywhere in their medical histories for themselves, their

immediate family or their extended families. Based on your diatribe

against AS parents, do you think that THEY should be re-diagnosed as

AS because YOU don't want to believe that an NT could be so horrific

and evil?

, all you want to believe and put forth as fact (when you

provide no proof to support your conjecture and your hypothesis) in

this forum is that adults with AS are incapable ignoramuses who are

so clueless about nurturing parenting that they should be prevented

from reproducing. Grow up.

I do not doubt that you were abused as a child and quite possibly by

your parents, but I seriously doubt that there is enough evidence to

prove that AS was the root of the abuse. I think you need to dig a

little deeper than the 'quick fix blame game.'

Raven

[Guest guest]

"From your comments and Tom's it is becoming clear that the administrators on this forum are refusing to accept the implications and the negative aspects of their disability. They are also rejecting simple common sense; and they are accusing others of the negative behaviours that they themselves engage in.

"I joined this forum because I expected to find friends with whom I could share my experiences without being judged. Obviously I am getting the opposite.

"Tom, please remove me from this forum. I will be looking elsewhere.

"."

,

Let's face facts shall we!

Before I remove you from this forum I want you to read this statement:

It is YOU who are doing the judging and no one else.

Having AS isn't easy, and many of us have faced struggles because of it. But these struggles are NOT insurmountable. I implore you to think twice about your own mindset. Find your strengths. Build on them. Grow with them. Don't cave in to these people who bemoan the fact that they "suffer" as the result of having AS.

With AS, we have wonderful talents, skills and abilities that others don't, and we CAN make careers out of these talents and abilities. We ARE liked and loved by others, and we like and love others as well.

With that said, I can see that you are PERFECT for the NAS and Judy Singer. It is closed minded people like you and closed-minded organizations like theirs who make it difficult for AS people to survive in the world. Through your bitterness, you condemn us all by promoting a negative portayal of AS people.

It is good that you have posted here, because your posts will forever stay in the archives and people can then look back and find out what sort of negative people comprise the NAS and participate in Judy Singer's website. Then, they can remember NOT to frequent these websites, or utilize their services.

Furthermore, your attitude confirms the negative publicity the press gives Judy Singer and the NAS, so it's wonderful to know that the press has not lied.

And, in the meantime, fortunately, the word is getting out about how advantageous AS people are to have in the workplace, about the many good and great things we can do, and how we can love long and love well.

Soon, it will be understoof that those who feel like you are in the smallest minority. But always remember, as one fellow Aspie to another, I love you and I will care for you and those who feel as you do as a brother loves a brother.

Why?

Because I do not believe that AS or the people who have it are in any way shape or form bad, and I can see the good in you and it, even if you cannot. I believe in you, even if you do not believe in yourself.

Tom

Administrator