? about marriage

[Guest guest]

HI, I've belonged to this group for about two years, but I haven't

posted in a long time.

For anyone who feels comfortable, could you please answer a few sort

of personal questions? I'm 33, and my boyfriend is 53. We are co-

workers (in a different department). (I believe he has AS too).

Anyway, I can't imagine a more perfect match for me, and I know he

wants to marry me. I wonder if my reluctance is just because of the

newness of it all. I'm the type of person who needs at least a week

in advance to get used to the idea of going to a movie, so don't

invite me THAT DAY. For instance, when my younger sister was in high

school she was in a lot of plays and musicals, and even though I

wanted to see them, when she told me THAT DAY, I didn't want to go,

because I didn't have the time to adjust it to my schedule, if you

know what I mean.

So of course, marriage, and even engagement, is a huge adjustment to

make. I love him, I care about him, I believe we have a good future

together, we work well together, and he has about 90 percent of the

qualities I've ever wanted in a husband ... but I don't know if

I'm " in love " with him. And I feel like I'm really crazy for not

being crazy about him.

My questions are:

How long was it before you felt comfortable saying " I love you. " to

your husband/boyfriend/fiance?

How long did you know each other before you got married?

How did you know you were in love?

What is your definition of being in love?

How important do you feel/think being " in love " is?

How much did past experiences of failed relationships factor into

your decision?

How much did having AS factor in?

These and anything else you can think of that might help would be

appreciated.

Rach

PS If you don't feel comfortable answering on this list, you can send

me a private email.

Thanks again.