Re: Do you ever feel like this world is not made for you?

March 9, 2007

I've been having a dream once or twice a week now for about five years

where all of us Aspies go down into a cave where there is a whole new

society just for us.

Tom

Administrator

" hmmm complete agreement. I actually used to wait for my real species

to come get me. "

March 9, 2007

" I just lamented that everyone was sooo surface. That noone wanted to

know more and how could they be happy being so uninformed and led

like sheep. I wanted to find all the black sheep. I thought most

people were dumb, and that I knew I was not the smartest and I

wanted to meet really smart people. people who knew stuff and could

tell you facts and oh that's right I am here "

I do not want to sound prejudicial or anything, but sometimes I

wonder if non-Aspies are " surface " because they ARE less

intelligent. Maybe when your IQ is lower you cannot retain too many

facts. Maybe when your IQ is lower you can not extrapolate from

facts while speaking. Maybe when your IQ is lower you cannot form

new hypotheses and counter other people's arguments effectively

while speaking either. Maybe when your IQ is lower you have to form

social collectives in order to accomplish the mental and

intellectual triumphs Aspies seem to be able to accomplish on their

own.

I don't know what it is that causes non-Aspies to be so " surface "

but I do know that their surface behavior is fairly consistent

across the board in our society.

Tom

Administrator

March 9, 2007

" I didn't have to talk with my ex husband and we would both feel the

mood in the room. Happy sad, angry. "

Raven and I feel this way when we are together, but we have worked on

verbal communication as well just in case we misread each other.

Tom

Administrator

March 9, 2007

" I didn't look for an AS mate and neither did my boyfriend, but we

both found AS mates (each other). It is not as isolating as you

would think. In fact, both of us have stated here and to each other

that the relationship we have is by far the best relationship either

of us has ever had. It is not isolating but rather all-encompassing

in a way that words cannot express.

Raven

Co-Administrator "

I will add this though:

Raven and I are having a good relationship primarily because we have

had so many bad ones in the past and were sick of them. We vowed with

each other to work HARD, to communicate, to love and please one

another and to love and please ourselves so we could be the best

people we could be for each other.

Relationships are not windfalls. YOu do have to work at them.

Sometimes people work hard and the relationship fails anyway. But you

will never know if you are throwing something ugly away that is really

worth saving and shiny beneath the surface unless you work hard to

clean it up and get it running efficiently.

Tom

Administrator

March 9, 2007

Initially, this was what I thought also. Before school started, there

was just one kid in the neighborhood. She was a good friend. Then 7

more moved in, and all but one was cool. Then three more, and they

were cool.

Then I went to school and all the kids were different and I did not

undgerstand this. I got angry with a lot fo the other kids because I

thought they were " acting weird " just to annoy me.

What befuddled me was that all the neighborhood kids but one morphed

into a behavior pattern which corresponded to the ones the kids at

school had. And this behavior pattern was one which caused them to see

me as a reject and reject me.

All but one girl, that is.

That girl became my first girlfriend.

She lasted from elementary school through junior high into high school

where we went our separate ways. We got together again after college

and just as things started to fire up, her ex-boyfriend from college

came back into her life and she married him.

Tom

Administrator

" I think I did okay as a kid because I was not aware that I was

different. "

March 9, 2007

" I think that if everyone in the world respected their own and everyone

else's uniquenesses, the world would be a much better place. "

I GENERALLY agree with this statement.

From my personal perspective, however, my ACTUAL world views stems

from who disrespects whom first.

I am 38 years old right now and until recently I tended to try to

accept or absoluetly accept other people's uniqueness.

The problem comes in when people do not accept MY uniqueness in

exchange or get in my face with their own issues to an extent that I

cannot cope with. I find the biggest offenders are athieists,

Satanists, drug addicts, sexual " free thinkers " pro-choicers, and

liberal democrats.

I am tired of sitting quietly, politely listening to their viewpoints

and then, as soon as I open my mouth to respond, am told that I have

said something politically incorrect and should shut my mouth before I

offend somebody.

If I point out that I listened to THEIR viewpoints and that mine are

just as valid as theirs even though they may be different, I am called

a Christian ultra-conservative Jesus freak and told to shut up.

Usually, before I can even finish explaining my point of view, I am

called " closed minded " , and am told that I am not " open-minded " like

they are. Then they go off without having heard my side of things and

persist in the erroneous belief that they are open minded and I am the

closed minded one.

Tell me...how can I respect someone - ANYONE - like those people?

Tom

Administrator

March 9, 2007

In my experience, I am usually the one respecting the uniquenesses of

others and not getting as much in return. I find myself hiding who I

really am, more in the form of being quiet rather than being something I

am not.

I think generally I try to avoid conflict with others by either avoiding

certain topics or by keeping my opinion to myself and asking them

questions. If what they are saying is uncomfortable to me, I change

topics or excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Haha.

There are very few people who get the rare opportunity of really knowing

me. Sometimes it is very lonely. At one support program I attend,

members get the opportunity of being member of the month. Usually they

write up something about the personal character of the person who is

member of the month and add something unique about what they do. When I

was member of the month, they only wrote that I was the new secretary,

they didn't know what to write about me personally.

--

the Dreamer

http://www.visi.com/~unique

March 9, 2007

" There are very few people who get the rare opportunity of really

knowing me. "

This is true of me also.

" Sometimes it is very lonely. "

It can be, but I feel that it is more important NOT to spread yourself

around too thinly. People can take advantage of you that way and

manipulate your emotions.

Also, if you have any close friends, they will feel closer if they

know that it is they and not a whole lot of people that make it to

your inner circle.

Tom

Administrator

March 12, 2007

>

> I do not want to sound prejudicial or anything, but sometimes I

> wonder if non-Aspies are " surface " because they ARE less

> intelligent. Maybe when your IQ is lower you cannot retain too many

> facts. Maybe when your IQ is lower you can not extrapolate from

> facts while speaking. Maybe when your IQ is lower you cannot form

> new hypotheses and counter other people's arguments effectively

> while speaking either. Maybe when your IQ is lower you have to form

> social collectives in order to accomplish the mental and

> intellectual triumphs Aspies seem to be able to accomplish on their

> own.

>

> I don't know what it is that causes non-Aspies to be so " surface "

> but I do know that their surface behavior is fairly consistent

> across the board in our society.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

Maybe it also has to do with pettiness. I find when people are

selfish. when that is their core behavior I tend to refer to them as

less intelligent. It seems to lower their IQ in my estimation. This

untruthful behavior has the effect of lower intelligence because it

precludes one from the processing of Data effectively. One is so

busy lying to themselves to feel better that they ignore the truth.

they voluntarily give up their ability to reason blinded by desire to

decive. That is how it seems anyway

March 12, 2007

>

> I do not want to sound prejudicial or anything, but sometimes I

> wonder if non-Aspies are " surface " because they ARE less

> intelligent. Maybe when your IQ is lower you cannot retain too many

> facts. Maybe when your IQ is lower you can not extrapolate from

> facts while speaking. Maybe when your IQ is lower you cannot form

> new hypotheses and counter other people's arguments effectively

> while speaking either. Maybe when your IQ is lower you have to form

> social collectives in order to accomplish the mental and

> intellectual triumphs Aspies seem to be able to accomplish on their

> own.

>

> I don't know what it is that causes non-Aspies to be so " surface "

> but I do know that their surface behavior is fairly consistent

> across the board in our society.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

Maybe it also has to do with pettiness. I find when people are

selfish. when that is their core behavior I tend to refer to them as

less intelligent. It seems to lower their IQ in my estimation. This

untruthful behavior has the effect of lower intelligence because it

precludes one from the processing of Data effectively. One is so

busy lying to themselves to feel better that they ignore the truth.

they voluntarily give up their ability to reason blinded by desire to

decive. That is how it seems anyway

March 12, 2007

I meant isolating in terms of starting to do this thing all over.

feeling old, discoraged, beaten, tired. In a way what said

reluctant to try again, to make myself move. the discouraging thoughts

of " why bother " and " maybe I can never be good in any relationship "

March 12, 2007

I meant isolating in terms of starting to do this thing all over.

feeling old, discoraged, beaten, tired. In a way what said

reluctant to try again, to make myself move. the discouraging thoughts

of " why bother " and " maybe I can never be good in any relationship "

March 12, 2007

Tom wrote:

Usually, before I can even finish explaining my point of view, I am

called " closed minded " , and am told that I am not " open-minded " like

they are. Then they go off without having heard my side of things and

persist in the erroneous belief that they are open minded and I am the

closed minded one.

Tell me...how can I respect someone - ANYONE - like those people?

Mimi says. this is in essence the arguement of selfishness. Turn

taking and social cues. Apparently they only apply to the people

pointing fingers. I have to admit and not to pat myself on the back

that I am a decent summerizer. I restate peoples statements in a way

they cannot argue with (unless it exposes them for a selfish act and

then I usually get yelled over) This is the usual tactic for people

that find that they are losing an arguement. Has this ever happened.

you are speaking; making a point, effectively correctly pointing out an

inconsistancy and the recipient explodes!!!! they scream because you

have exposed their finger prints on the cookie jar. People don't like

that Umm hence why I am usually dissapointed

March 12, 2007