Re: Do you ever feel like this world is not made for you?

[Guest guest]

I remember thinking, when I was a toddler, that there must be THREE

kinds of children in the world ... boys, girls and weird kids like me

that are a little of both and at the same time neither. It was a sad

realization for a 2-year-old to make at the time and yet, I accepted

this as fact and that the third kind of child of which I was one must

be very rare since I did not know any other third kind of children

like myself.

I eventually relinquished myself to the truth when I was 3 years old

that no one would ever be like me and no one would ever understand me.

And I was right for four decades. It has only been recently that I

have found the enclave wherein reside the third kind of children I

sought when I was a toddler. Thank goodness I wasn't forced to live

out my entire life without knowing where all of you were hiding.

Raven

Co-Administrator

>

> I can remember feeling this way evern in my crib. I thought to

> myself " Is this all there is? "

>

> Sometimes I feel the same way now.

>

> The world is not structured the way I would want it to be, and I

> cannot seem to get along with the people in it no matter what I do.

>

> Of course I get along with most of you folks, but we are all in a

> minority.

>

> Your thoughts, anyone?

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

don't remember all the other folks being odd till i

started school,i enjoyed spinning around,flapping and

waving my hands,trying to make noises to animals like

squirrels and cats,i was in kindergarten and the other

kids didn't enjoy these things.i also seemed to get

" crushes " on some of the girls and women teachers,i'm

53 now and it was only a couple years ago that i found

out i'm " aspergian " i'm starting to see why other

people are weird.

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[Guest guest]

Yes. I don't understand other people's thoughts or behaviors. The human

world always looks strange to me.

[Guest guest]

My big mistake was thinking that everyone else in the world was like

me. When I went to kindergarten, I still thought that and resented

the fact that the rest of the kids didn't take things as seriously

as I did.

I thought school was " work. " Daddy went to work in the morning and

so did I, except that we went to different places.

But at school, it seemed like all the rest of the kids were just

goofing off instead of learning anything.

By first grade, I realized that kids were just different than me and

I resented that fact. I felt left out, and like I had no place among

them, except for one friend whom I made who turned out to be my

friend for about eight years.

Tom

Administrator

don't remember all the other folks being odd till i

started school,i enjoyed spinning around,flapping and

waving my hands,trying to make noises to animals like

squirrels and cats,i was in kindergarten and the other

kids didn't enjoy these things.i also seemed to get

" crushes " on some of the girls and women teachers,i'm

53 now and it was only a couple years ago that i found

out i'm " aspergian " i'm starting to see why other

people are weird.

[Guest guest]

This world is not made for anyone.

This world is just the mess we have made searching for structure in

physical forms. Where thieves break in and rust doth corrupt.

Only a level of existence without any physical rules is made for us.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/3/2007 6:34:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes:

Sometimes I feel the same way now. The world is not structured the way I would want it to be, and I cannot seem to get along with the people in it no matter what I do.Of course I get along with most of you folks, but we are all in a minority.

I have trouble with people because of their common duplicitous behavior, lying and manipulating. I hate being lied to in order to be manipulated to some ends. If I had my way, people that did that could legally be beaten senseless by the aggrieved party.

Now, I do understand decorum and civility, which sometimes requires less than the whole truth. For example: if someone asks you something and you know your answer will likely lead to conflict, fudge it some. Let someone else tell them their new style doesn't suit them.

However, that does not extend to situations that might cause harm. If someone has an idea that might harm the business or "pack," then they need to be told so up front. This is also true if they might hurt themselves or someone else.

Most people though I think are just waiting for the opportunity to backstab or cheat you if they can.

Since this goes against the nature of a lot of us, we don't play the game and so are left out, or worse, targeted as easy marks or weirdos.

Still, it is funny how often people would come to me when they need someone they could trust to do something. They might ignore me most of the time or be nice as socially necessary, but when they needed a "stand up guy," they came to me.

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[Guest guest]

" Only a level of existence without any physical rules is made for us. "

Could you possibly elaborate on this please?

>

> This world is not made for anyone.

>

> This world is just the mess we have made searching for structure in

> physical forms. Where thieves break in and rust doth corrupt.

>

> Only a level of existence without any physical rules is made for us.

>

[Guest guest]

I believe that the world was nearly ideal before mankind got hold of

it and wrecked it to the extent that they have today.

While I would not want to go back to a time where we were without

many of the modern conveniences and medical care we have today, I do

think that there must be a way to manage life, our lives, and

ourselves, in such a way so that many people are not as miserable as

they are.

One thing that bothers me is that if you take a look at how the

worldis today, and ask most people if they are content, the majority

of people alive today will say that they are. This must mean that

the majority of people LIKE the world as it is, which to me is a

depressing prospect, because I have spent most of my life not

wanting to live in it.

Maybe noone but a minority want to aspire to something greater than

what we have.

What I know is that when I try to relax and enjoy myself without

interuption, the result tends to be only a little bit of R & R

before the external world intrudes in some way to make my life

miserable.

This should not be.

This is why I say that the world was not made for me. I was born

into a world where people made laws and rules and economies, and

political ideologies which I do not really fit into, and I find it

depressing that the majority of people alive today think what we've

got is ideal.

Tom

Administrator

This world is not made for anyone.

This world is just the mess we have made searching for structure in

physical forms. Where thieves break in and rust doth corrupt.

Only a level of existence without any physical rules is made for us.

[Guest guest]

" This world is just the mess we have made searching for structure in

physical forms. Where thieves break in and rust doth corrupt. "

Just thought of adding that I used to be an idealist and think that

maybe Aspies could make a difference in the world, but these days I am

not so sure.

There are a couple of forums I keep tabs on just to see what my online

adversarial people are doing, and what I notice is that if there is

a " lodge " or a " lounge " on those other messages boards, those are the

forums that tend to have the most activity, which entirely baffles me.

I was under the impression that Aspies were not social. I was under

the impression that what Aspies wanted most was to find others like

them where they could talk about everything deep that they have been

unable to relate to other people.

But all this " fun " that people tend to have in the lodge and lounge

forums on other Aspie message boards (which seems so superficial to

me) is evidentally what Aspies really want.

When push comes to shove, if you try to get Aspies on board for some

idealistic cause, as much as Aspies bitch about how rough they've got

it in the world, they do not seem to want to do much about it.

Thus I am coming to feel that Aspies are like everyone else in the

world. They may be marginally more moral or ethical, but they, like

everyone else, for the most part don't care to actually try to change

the world and make it better.

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

Mmmmmmmmm trying to change this world (or things in this world) is

like pulling teeth, painful and in the end one has very little left

to smile about :-(

I have only met a rare few in this world that like to get indepth

about anything. I have met some that say they do and yet it quickly

becomes apparent that they don't really - they say they want to think

deep etc, but as soon as they are challenged to think outside their

own safe constructs they usually quickly revert back to 'default'

mindless chatter.

>

> " This world is just the mess we have made searching for structure in

> physical forms. Where thieves break in and rust doth corrupt. "

>

> Just thought of adding that I used to be an idealist and think that

> maybe Aspies could make a difference in the world, but these days I

am

> not so sure.

>

> There are a couple of forums I keep tabs on just to see what my

online

> adversarial people are doing, and what I notice is that if there is

> a " lodge " or a " lounge " on those other messages boards, those are

the

> forums that tend to have the most activity, which entirely baffles

me.

>

> I was under the impression that Aspies were not social. I was under

> the impression that what Aspies wanted most was to find others like

> them where they could talk about everything deep that they have

been

> unable to relate to other people.

>

> But all this " fun " that people tend to have in the lodge and lounge

> forums on other Aspie message boards (which seems so superficial to

> me) is evidentally what Aspies really want.

>

> When push comes to shove, if you try to get Aspies on board for

some

> idealistic cause, as much as Aspies bitch about how rough they've

got

> it in the world, they do not seem to want to do much about it.

>

> Thus I am coming to feel that Aspies are like everyone else in the

> world. They may be marginally more moral or ethical, but they, like

> everyone else, for the most part don't care to actually try to

change

> the world and make it better.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Yes. I don't understand other people's thoughts or behaviors. The

human

> world always looks strange to me.

>

It is very interesting that we (Aspergians) are all totally different

from each other but Have underlining similiarities.

[Guest guest]

In the same way that neurotypicals seem to have some sort of social

consciousness that we Aspies do not have, I believe that Aspies have

some sort of social consciousness amongst ourselves.

However, I believe that though we are on the same wavelength with a

lot of things, this wavelength is much less pronounced than the

wavelength that non-Aspies have.

Welcome notymewasted.

Tom

Administrator

" It is very interesting that we (Aspergians) are all totally different

from each other but Have underlining similiarities. "

[Guest guest]

" I have only met a rare few in this world that like to get indepth

about anything. I have met some that say they do and yet it quickly

becomes apparent that they don't really - they say they want to think

deep etc, but as soon as they are challenged to think outside their

own safe constructs they usually quickly revert back to 'default'

mindless chatter. "

Yes, it has been the same for me.

I do enjoy having in depth discussions here at least. That is a

respite from the mindless drivel I encounter in the " real world. "

I am coming to belive, though, that maybe " in depth " to many of those

folks we encounter in our lives isn't that deep because they simply

are not as intelligent as we are. I do not say that to be big-headed

or anything, but for AS people and HFAs, many of us do have higher

IQs, and even if we do not have high IQs, we have enough perseverative

interests that we can spew facts like an encyclopedia on them any time

we want to.

I get the idea that sometimes I make people around me feel stupid in

social situations, because, though they may have a braod RANGE of

knowedge, its depth is shallow whereas I may have an equal range, but

may have a more thorough knowledge in more areas that they. Thus they

simply cannot keep up with me and wind up slapping one of the

familiar descriptors on me that has come to define us Aspies: " Does

not know when someone becomes disinterested with conversational topic. "

Tom

Administrator

[Guest guest]

Tom wrote: " ... <snip> ... I get the idea that sometimes I make

people around me feel stupid in social situations, because, though they

may have a broad RANGE of knowedge, its depth is shallow whereas I may

have an equal range, but may have a more thorough knowledge in more

areas that they. Thus they simply cannot keep up with me and wind up

slapping one of the familiar descriptors on me that has come to define

us Aspies: " Does not know when someone becomes disinterested with

conversational topic. "

It's too bad we can't get NTs to feel as we do by having them feel

we " slap " a more appropriate descriptor onto them: " Does not know

enough to ask questions and do research in order to understand the

subject material being discussed by intelligent people. "

Raven

Co-Administrator

[Guest guest]

>

> I can remember feeling this way evern in my crib. I thought to

> myself " Is this all there is? "

>

> Sometimes I feel the same way now.

>

> The world is not structured the way I would want it to be, and I

> cannot seem to get along with the people in it no matter what I do.

>

> Of course I get along with most of you folks, but we are all in a

> minority.

>

> Your thoughts, anyone?

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

hmmm complete agreement. I actually used to wait for my real species

to come get me.

[Guest guest]

>

> I remember thinking, when I was a toddler, that there must be THREE

> kinds of children in the world ... boys, girls and weird kids like

me

> that are a little of both and at the same time neither. It was a

sad

> realization for a 2-year-old to make at the time and yet, I

accepted

> this as fact and that the third kind of child of which I was one

must

> be very rare since I did not know any other third kind of children

> like myself.

>

> I eventually relinquished myself to the truth when I was 3 years

old

> that no one would ever be like me and no one would ever understand

me.

>

> And I was right for four decades. It has only been recently that I

> have found the enclave wherein reside the third kind of children I

> sought when I was a toddler. Thank goodness I wasn't forced to

live

> out my entire life without knowing where all of you were hiding.

>

> Raven

> Co-Administrator

>

>hmmm again total agreement on all counts hmmm, maybe the mother ship

has arrived

[Guest guest]

>

> I remember thinking, when I was a toddler, that there must be THREE

> kinds of children in the world ... boys, girls and weird kids like

me

> that are a little of both and at the same time neither. It was a

sad

> realization for a 2-year-old to make at the time and yet, I

accepted

> this as fact and that the third kind of child of which I was one

must

> be very rare since I did not know any other third kind of children

> like myself.

>

> I eventually relinquished myself to the truth when I was 3 years

old

> that no one would ever be like me and no one would ever understand

me.

>

> And I was right for four decades. It has only been recently that I

> have found the enclave wherein reside the third kind of children I

> sought when I was a toddler. Thank goodness I wasn't forced to

live

> out my entire life without knowing where all of you were hiding.

>

> Raven

> Co-Administrator

>

>hmmm again total agreement on all counts hmmm, maybe the mother ship

has arrived

[Guest guest]

>

> My big mistake was thinking that everyone else in the world was like

> me. When I went to kindergarten, I still thought that and resented

> the fact that the rest of the kids didn't take things as seriously

> as I did.

>

> I resented that fact. I felt left out, and like I had no place among

> Tom

> Administrator

>

I just lamented that everyone was sooo surface. That noone wanted to

know more and how could they be happy being so uninformed and led like

sheep. I wanted to find all the black sheep. I thought most people

were dumb, and that I knew I was not the smartest and I wanted to meet

really smart people. people who knew stuff and could tell you facts

and oh that's right I am here

[Guest guest]

> However, I believe that though we are on the same wavelength with a

> lot of things, this wavelength is much less pronounced than the

> wavelength that non-Aspies have.

>

> Welcome notymewasted.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

I think there is a lot more non-verbal communication. I had this

with my ex--This is what I missed. I didn't have to explain

endlessly. with my bf more often than not I am ready to pack up my

belongings and leave and he says something like we made progress and

I understand you better. The interaction is frustrating painful and

it makes me want to jump out of my skin run away . It makes me miss

my ex(JUST BECAUSE WE DIDN " T HAVE TO FIGHT YELL OR DISAGREE) that is

why I was willing to look beyond infidelity (although that was

unbearable too (from a loyality stand point) I think it is hard for

ASpies to (me anyway) even be in a good relationship that demands so

much verbal communication. I didn't have to talk with my ex husband

and we would both feel the mood in the room. Happy sad, angry. I

thought of looking for an Aspie mate, but it feels so isolating, and

how to look and you want to see a person, but you also want

statistics. anyway

[Guest guest]

> However, I believe that though we are on the same wavelength with a

> lot of things, this wavelength is much less pronounced than the

> wavelength that non-Aspies have.

>

> Welcome notymewasted.

>

> Tom

> Administrator

>

I think there is a lot more non-verbal communication. I had this

with my ex--This is what I missed. I didn't have to explain

endlessly. with my bf more often than not I am ready to pack up my

belongings and leave and he says something like we made progress and

I understand you better. The interaction is frustrating painful and

it makes me want to jump out of my skin run away . It makes me miss

my ex(JUST BECAUSE WE DIDN " T HAVE TO FIGHT YELL OR DISAGREE) that is

why I was willing to look beyond infidelity (although that was

unbearable too (from a loyality stand point) I think it is hard for

ASpies to (me anyway) even be in a good relationship that demands so

much verbal communication. I didn't have to talk with my ex husband

and we would both feel the mood in the room. Happy sad, angry. I

thought of looking for an Aspie mate, but it feels so isolating, and

how to look and you want to see a person, but you also want

statistics. anyway

[Guest guest]

>

I get the idea that sometimes I make people around me feel stupid in

social situations, because, though they may have a braod RANGE of

knowedge, its depth is shallow whereas I may have an equal range, but

may have a more thorough knowledge in more areas that they. Thus they

simply cannot keep up with me and wind up slapping one of the

familiar descriptors on me that has come to define us Aspies: " Does

not know when someone becomes disinterested with conversational topic. "

Tom

Administrator

yes I find this often, many times it even goes on to scare them, or

they dislike me because I have the resolve to do what they don't. I

often find women attempt to trump me (boy is that aggravating)and a

complete waste of time. It breaks down to an information struggle

rather than sharing and talents get wasted. Depressing

[Guest guest]

Tom wrote: " My big mistake was thinking that everyone else in the

world was like me. When I went to kindergarten, I still thought that

and resented the fact that the rest of the kids didn't take things as

seriously as I did. I resented that fact. I felt left out, and like I

had no place among them. "

mimi wrote: " I just lamented that everyone was sooo surface. That no

one wanted to know more and how could they be happy being so uninformed

and led like sheep. I wanted to find all the black sheep. I thought

most people were dumb, and that I knew I was not the smartest and I

wanted to meet really smart people. people who knew stuff and could

tell you facts and oh that's right I am here "

We traveled so much when I was growing up that I was always the odd

child out, so to speak. I soon determined that most people were quite

satisfied with the bare minimum of information and so, I grew to be

disdainful of them all.

In grade one, I was awarded first prize for religious studies (there

were grades one through eight at this particular school). The prize

meant nothing to me. At six, I had figured out that all I had to do

was answer as glibly as possible in order to amuse the students and the

teachers.

And so I easily memorized the names of those people in the Bible who

were " for " God and those people in the Bible who were " against " God.

Seeing that I was not a Christian (the school was though hence the

focus on religious studies as one of the classes), winning the prize

the way I did was even more insulting. Yes, I knew quite a bit more

about each person in the Bible than I let on but it was insulting to

know that I had one on the basis of answering, " He was a good man "

or " He was not a good man. "

Who was Abraham? He was a good man.

Who was Moses? He was a good man.

Who was Pontius Pilate? He was a bad man.

Who was Judas? He was a bad man.

Who was ? He was a good man but he had trouble believing.

Who was ? He was a good man.

Well, you get the picture. You can see how an Aspling could get

annoyed at such simplistic questions requiring less than minimum effort

answers. Sheesh!

And throughout school, I longed to find those with whom I could have in-

depth conversations. I finally found them ... here!

Raven

Co-Administrator

[Guest guest]

mimi wrote: " ... <snip> ... I think it is hard for Aspies to (me

anyway) even be in a good relationship that demands so much verbal

communication ... <snip> ... "

My AS boyfriend is more verbal than I am. In fact, he seems to do

most of the talking although I have been more verbal in the past few

months. Oftentimes though, we are comfortable sitting with each

other in the silence communicating without words. It freaks out my

roommate and my roommate's friends if they walk into the room and see

us sitting there being silent. LOL.

mimi wrote: " ... <snip> ... I thought of looking for an Aspie mate,

but it feels so isolating, and how to look and you want to see a

person, but you also want statistics. anyway ... <snip> ... "

I didn't look for an AS mate and neither did my boyfriend, but we

both found AS mates (each other). It is not as isolating as you

would think. In fact, both of us have stated here and to each other

that the relationship we have is by far the best relationship either

of us has ever had. It is not isolating but rather all-encompassing

in a way that words cannot express.

Raven

Co-Administrator

[Guest guest]

I think I did okay as a kid because I was not aware that I was

different. All of my relatives are also on the autism spectrum

(undiagnosed, just my speculations from what I know) so that helped too.

I didn't have any behaviors that were much different from other

people's, I was very quiet and compliant, so no one really noticed me

that much.

--

the Dreamer

http://www.visi.com/~unique

[Guest guest]

I think that if everyone in the world respected their own and everyone

else's uniquenesses, the world would be a much better place.

--

the Dreamer

http://www.visi.com/~unique