Re: many questions in my head (trying to find someone who knows..)

[Guest guest]

You might be interested in checking out a group called

Notquiteplural. It is a group I have just joined recently. It is a

group for people who are somewhere between a multiple and

a 'singleton.' A sigleton is what the multiple personality community

calls someone who is not a multiple. I am not sure if this applies

to you or not but, it might be a good place to look for some

answers.

The multiple communities on line remind me a little of the aspie

groups on line. I mean that in a postive sense, in that they are

trying to accomplish many of the same goals: to take away the

stigma, to feel good about who you are, to talk to other people who

understand, to learn to live and cope, without being forced to

change who they are.

Ilah

>

>

> I went to a meeting yesterday (and I also went with a group on

june

> 18th) and it was really nice, but today I am really troubled with

> questions and doubts and lots of fuzz in my head!!! I really hope

> someone van help me with this...

>

> maybe some of you recognize this, or could give an answer..

> is there anyone who recognizes the following:

>

> 1. feeling that time is going fast and you go slow/stand still, or

> time is choking you or dragging you forth and you cannot escape or

> escape through dream/light/flying, or that time prevents you from

> being you or reaching your potential, or some similar (or other)

> problem with time

> (I have a poem from when I was much younger which describes these

> problems I had with time and I need to know if there are others

who

> feel/felt the same)

>

> 2. problems with fragmentary identity through time (eg not being

able

> to say who you are because you changed over time and you cannot

see a

> line in it of one self, instead you feel as if you were several

> seperate selves in the past)

> (I have this since I remembered things like interests and events,

I

> had previously forgotten/surpressed)

>

> 3. problems with fragmentary identity in the present (eg not being

> able to see the whole of you, just loose parts, like character

traits

> or interests)

> 3a. might be related to weak personal boundaries (eg if I focus

on

> one aspect and see a person with the same aspect I loose sense of

> self because I get an illusionary 'full match' since I leave out

all

> the other aspects of me)

> 3b. might be related to self esteem (eg if I focus on one

negative

> aspect of myself and fail to see positive aspects, or if I

identify

> completely with another person and compare achievement and see

that I

> am not as good as the 'other me')

>

> 4. problems with memory, possibly problems with 'episodic memory'

(I

> read autistics can have that) e.g. memory of experiences you had,

as

> not being able to recall events, or vague memories of events you

were

> in, or an odd way of remembering things which happened to you.

>

>

> tnx in advance!

>

[Guest guest]

You might be interested in checking out a group called

Notquiteplural. It is a group I have just joined recently. It is a

group for people who are somewhere between a multiple and

a 'singleton.' A sigleton is what the multiple personality community

calls someone who is not a multiple. I am not sure if this applies

to you or not but, it might be a good place to look for some

answers.

The multiple communities on line remind me a little of the aspie

groups on line. I mean that in a postive sense, in that they are

trying to accomplish many of the same goals: to take away the

stigma, to feel good about who you are, to talk to other people who

understand, to learn to live and cope, without being forced to

change who they are.

Ilah

>

>

> I went to a meeting yesterday (and I also went with a group on

june

> 18th) and it was really nice, but today I am really troubled with

> questions and doubts and lots of fuzz in my head!!! I really hope

> someone van help me with this...

>

> maybe some of you recognize this, or could give an answer..

> is there anyone who recognizes the following:

>

> 1. feeling that time is going fast and you go slow/stand still, or

> time is choking you or dragging you forth and you cannot escape or

> escape through dream/light/flying, or that time prevents you from

> being you or reaching your potential, or some similar (or other)

> problem with time

> (I have a poem from when I was much younger which describes these

> problems I had with time and I need to know if there are others

who

> feel/felt the same)

>

> 2. problems with fragmentary identity through time (eg not being

able

> to say who you are because you changed over time and you cannot

see a

> line in it of one self, instead you feel as if you were several

> seperate selves in the past)

> (I have this since I remembered things like interests and events,

I

> had previously forgotten/surpressed)

>

> 3. problems with fragmentary identity in the present (eg not being

> able to see the whole of you, just loose parts, like character

traits

> or interests)

> 3a. might be related to weak personal boundaries (eg if I focus

on

> one aspect and see a person with the same aspect I loose sense of

> self because I get an illusionary 'full match' since I leave out

all

> the other aspects of me)

> 3b. might be related to self esteem (eg if I focus on one

negative

> aspect of myself and fail to see positive aspects, or if I

identify

> completely with another person and compare achievement and see

that I

> am not as good as the 'other me')

>

> 4. problems with memory, possibly problems with 'episodic memory'

(I

> read autistics can have that) e.g. memory of experiences you had,

as

> not being able to recall events, or vague memories of events you

were

> in, or an odd way of remembering things which happened to you.

>

>

> tnx in advance!

>

[Guest guest]

What do you mean with memory? It seems like there are too many memories and that some of the other ones just get in the way when trying to retrieve one that seems insignificant to the part of ourselves that brings it into consciousness.maYa <crna_kuna@...> wrote: I went to a meeting yesterday (and I also went with a group on june 18th) and it was really nice, but today I am really troubled with questions and doubts and lots of fuzz in my head!!! I really hope someone van help me with this...maybe some of you recognize this, or could give an

answer..is there anyone who recognizes the following:1. feeling that time is going fast and you go slow/stand still, or time is choking you or dragging you forth and you cannot escape or escape through dream/light/flying, or that time prevents you from being you or reaching your potential, or some similar (or other) problem with time(I have a poem from when I was much younger which describes these problems I had with time and I need to know if there are others who feel/felt the same)2. problems with fragmentary identity through time (eg not being able to say who you are because you changed over time and you cannot see a line in it of one self, instead you feel as if you were several seperate selves in the past)(I have this since I remembered things like interests and events, I had previously forgotten/surpressed)3. problems with fragmentary identity in the present (eg not being able

to see the whole of you, just loose parts, like character traits or interests)3a. might be related to weak personal boundaries (eg if I focus on one aspect and see a person with the same aspect I loose sense of self because I get an illusionary 'full match' since I leave out all the other aspects of me)3b. might be related to self esteem (eg if I focus on one negative aspect of myself and fail to see positive aspects, or if I identify completely with another person and compare achievement and see that I am not as good as the 'other me')4. problems with memory, possibly problems with 'episodic memory' (I read autistics can have that) e.g. memory of experiences you had, as not being able to recall events, or vague memories of events you were in, or an odd way of remembering things which happened to you.tnx in advance!

Messenger with Voice. PC-to-Phone calls for ridiculously low rates.

[Guest guest]

What do you mean with memory? It seems like there are too many memories and that some of the other ones just get in the way when trying to retrieve one that seems insignificant to the part of ourselves that brings it into consciousness.maYa <crna_kuna@...> wrote: I went to a meeting yesterday (and I also went with a group on june 18th) and it was really nice, but today I am really troubled with questions and doubts and lots of fuzz in my head!!! I really hope someone van help me with this...maybe some of you recognize this, or could give an

answer..is there anyone who recognizes the following:1. feeling that time is going fast and you go slow/stand still, or time is choking you or dragging you forth and you cannot escape or escape through dream/light/flying, or that time prevents you from being you or reaching your potential, or some similar (or other) problem with time(I have a poem from when I was much younger which describes these problems I had with time and I need to know if there are others who feel/felt the same)2. problems with fragmentary identity through time (eg not being able to say who you are because you changed over time and you cannot see a line in it of one self, instead you feel as if you were several seperate selves in the past)(I have this since I remembered things like interests and events, I had previously forgotten/surpressed)3. problems with fragmentary identity in the present (eg not being able

to see the whole of you, just loose parts, like character traits or interests)3a. might be related to weak personal boundaries (eg if I focus on one aspect and see a person with the same aspect I loose sense of self because I get an illusionary 'full match' since I leave out all the other aspects of me)3b. might be related to self esteem (eg if I focus on one negative aspect of myself and fail to see positive aspects, or if I identify completely with another person and compare achievement and see that I am not as good as the 'other me')4. problems with memory, possibly problems with 'episodic memory' (I read autistics can have that) e.g. memory of experiences you had, as not being able to recall events, or vague memories of events you were in, or an odd way of remembering things which happened to you.tnx in advance!

Messenger with Voice. PC-to-Phone calls for ridiculously low rates.

[Guest guest]

>

> You might be interested in checking out a group called

> Notquiteplural. It is a group I have just joined recently. It is

a

> group for people who are somewhere between a multiple and

> a 'singleton.' A sigleton is what the multiple personality

community

> calls someone who is not a multiple. I am not sure if this applies

> to you or not but, it might be a good place to look for some

> answers.

thank you so much! I'll check that group out for certain!

what a cute term " singleton " haha!! tnx!!!

> The multiple communities on line remind me a little of the aspie

> groups on line. I mean that in a postive sense, in that they are

> trying to accomplish many of the same goals: to take away the

> stigma, to feel good about who you are, to talk to other people who

> understand, to learn to live and cope, without being forced to

> change who they are.

>

> Ilah

[Guest guest]

>

> You might be interested in checking out a group called

> Notquiteplural. It is a group I have just joined recently. It is

a

> group for people who are somewhere between a multiple and

> a 'singleton.' A sigleton is what the multiple personality

community

> calls someone who is not a multiple. I am not sure if this applies

> to you or not but, it might be a good place to look for some

> answers.

thank you so much! I'll check that group out for certain!

what a cute term " singleton " haha!! tnx!!!

> The multiple communities on line remind me a little of the aspie

> groups on line. I mean that in a postive sense, in that they are

> trying to accomplish many of the same goals: to take away the

> stigma, to feel good about who you are, to talk to other people who

> understand, to learn to live and cope, without being forced to

> change who they are.

>

> Ilah

[Guest guest]

>

> What do you mean with memory? It seems like there are too many

memories and that some of the other ones just get in the way when

trying to retrieve one that seems insignificant to the part of

ourselves that brings it into consciousness.

I do have interference when trying to skim memories (for example

images of things popping up in my mind instead of the memory of what

happened, or I just start thinking something else or even I sometimes

went 'blank' especially when my psychologist asked for what I feel

concerning something which happened to me)

[Guest guest]

>

> What do you mean with memory? It seems like there are too many

memories and that some of the other ones just get in the way when

trying to retrieve one that seems insignificant to the part of

ourselves that brings it into consciousness.

I do have interference when trying to skim memories (for example

images of things popping up in my mind instead of the memory of what

happened, or I just start thinking something else or even I sometimes

went 'blank' especially when my psychologist asked for what I feel

concerning something which happened to me)

[Guest guest]

I relate to this post. I often experience past memories as if they

are separate lives. Many unremembered memories, obsessing on those

that hold significance. I also spend lots of time thinking over the

segmented past trying to figure out why different experiences caused

me to behave as I did. The main idea here, seems to be seeing who

you are at different times, as being like different people. I feel

as though Ive been many things, having no certain identity, except

human.

Also, if I happen to become close to another, I tend to cling to

only them, and absorb their personality into me. This may be why

there's no sense of a personal identity. This maybe self esteem

related. I don't know. I think it has more to do with being so

narrowly focused on someone or something, that you feel one with

it/them. Unable to seperate who you are in your mind, from who/what

they are/it is.

>

>

> I went to a meeting yesterday (and I also went with a group on

june

> 18th) and it was really nice, but today I am really troubled with

> questions and doubts and lots of fuzz in my head!!! I really hope

> someone van help me with this...

>

> maybe some of you recognize this, or could give an answer..

> is there anyone who recognizes the following:

>

> 1. feeling that time is going fast and you go slow/stand still, or

> time is choking you or dragging you forth and you cannot escape or

> escape through dream/light/flying, or that time prevents you from

> being you or reaching your potential, or some similar (or other)

> problem with time

> (I have a poem from when I was much younger which describes these

> problems I had with time and I need to know if there are others

who

> feel/felt the same)

>

> 2. problems with fragmentary identity through time (eg not being

able

> to say who you are because you changed over time and you cannot

see a

> line in it of one self, instead you feel as if you were several

> seperate selves in the past)

> (I have this since I remembered things like interests and events,

I

> had previously forgotten/surpressed)

>

> 3. problems with fragmentary identity in the present (eg not being

> able to see the whole of you, just loose parts, like character

traits

> or interests)

> 3a. might be related to weak personal boundaries (eg if I focus

on

> one aspect and see a person with the same aspect I loose sense of

> self because I get an illusionary 'full match' since I leave out

all

> the other aspects of me)

> 3b. might be related to self esteem (eg if I focus on one

negative

> aspect of myself and fail to see positive aspects, or if I

identify

> completely with another person and compare achievement and see

that I

> am not as good as the 'other me')

>

> 4. problems with memory, possibly problems with 'episodic memory'

(I

> read autistics can have that) e.g. memory of experiences you had,

as

> not being able to recall events, or vague memories of events you

were

> in, or an odd way of remembering things which happened to you.

>

>

> tnx in advance!

>

[Guest guest]

I relate to this post. I often experience past memories as if they

are separate lives. Many unremembered memories, obsessing on those

that hold significance. I also spend lots of time thinking over the

segmented past trying to figure out why different experiences caused

me to behave as I did. The main idea here, seems to be seeing who

you are at different times, as being like different people. I feel

as though Ive been many things, having no certain identity, except

human.

Also, if I happen to become close to another, I tend to cling to

only them, and absorb their personality into me. This may be why

there's no sense of a personal identity. This maybe self esteem

related. I don't know. I think it has more to do with being so

narrowly focused on someone or something, that you feel one with

it/them. Unable to seperate who you are in your mind, from who/what

they are/it is.

>

>

> I went to a meeting yesterday (and I also went with a group on

june

> 18th) and it was really nice, but today I am really troubled with

> questions and doubts and lots of fuzz in my head!!! I really hope

> someone van help me with this...

>

> maybe some of you recognize this, or could give an answer..

> is there anyone who recognizes the following:

>

> 1. feeling that time is going fast and you go slow/stand still, or

> time is choking you or dragging you forth and you cannot escape or

> escape through dream/light/flying, or that time prevents you from

> being you or reaching your potential, or some similar (or other)

> problem with time

> (I have a poem from when I was much younger which describes these

> problems I had with time and I need to know if there are others

who

> feel/felt the same)

>

> 2. problems with fragmentary identity through time (eg not being

able

> to say who you are because you changed over time and you cannot

see a

> line in it of one self, instead you feel as if you were several

> seperate selves in the past)

> (I have this since I remembered things like interests and events,

I

> had previously forgotten/surpressed)

>

> 3. problems with fragmentary identity in the present (eg not being

> able to see the whole of you, just loose parts, like character

traits

> or interests)

> 3a. might be related to weak personal boundaries (eg if I focus

on

> one aspect and see a person with the same aspect I loose sense of

> self because I get an illusionary 'full match' since I leave out

all

> the other aspects of me)

> 3b. might be related to self esteem (eg if I focus on one

negative

> aspect of myself and fail to see positive aspects, or if I

identify

> completely with another person and compare achievement and see

that I

> am not as good as the 'other me')

>

> 4. problems with memory, possibly problems with 'episodic memory'

(I

> read autistics can have that) e.g. memory of experiences you had,

as

> not being able to recall events, or vague memories of events you

were

> in, or an odd way of remembering things which happened to you.

>

>

> tnx in advance!

>

[Guest guest]

>

> " 1. feeling that time is going fast and you go slow/stand still, or

> time is choking you or dragging you forth and you cannot escape or

> escape through dream/light/flying, or that time prevents you from

> being you or reaching your potential, or some similar (or other)

> problem with time

> (I have a poem from when I was much younger which describes these

> problems I had with time and I need to know if there are others who

> feel/felt the same) "

I feel uncomfortable with time and overwhelmed by it. I look at my

watch all the time and always have to know what time it is because

I'm afraid I'll lose track of time altogether. I don't like that time

is broken down into hours and minutes and our day and things we do

are controlled by these hours and minutes. I feel that too many

things are controlled by time and I wish we could just go by the sun

and moon and stars. On the other hand I hate when people are late.

>

> " 2. problems with fragmentary identity through time (eg not being

able

> to say who you are because you changed over time and you cannot see

a

> line in it of one self, instead you feel as if you were several

> seperate selves in the past)

> (I have this since I remembered things like interests and events, I

> had previously forgotten/surpressed) "

> 3. problems with fragmentary identity in the present (eg not being

> able to see the whole of you, just loose parts, like character

traits

> or interests)

> 3a. might be related to weak personal boundaries (eg if I focus on

> one aspect and see a person with the same aspect I loose sense of

> self because I get an illusionary 'full match' since I leave out

all

> the other aspects of me)

> 3b. might be related to self esteem (eg if I focus on one negative

> aspect of myself and fail to see positive aspects, or if I identify

> completely with another person and compare achievement and see that

I

> am not as good as the 'other me') "

I don't think I have problems with these, though I have a hard time

holding in my head all the ways I think or feel or what I know about

something--they come out in fragments.

>

> " 4. problems with memory, possibly problems with 'episodic memory'

(I

> read autistics can have that) e.g. memory of experiences you had,

as

> not being able to recall events, or vague memories of events you

were

> in, or an odd way of remembering things which happened to you. "

I have problems with memory and there are a lot of things I can't

recall. I have to have a cue to remember them and even then I don't

always. Often I have semantic memories but no episodic memories. I

have a problem with spatial relationships which seems to be a

function of the hippocampus as well as episodic memories. I'm also

having a problem understanding and digesting this, which tells me I

may have a problem with it. I'll have to look into it further--thanks

for bringing it up.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I relate to this post. I often experience past memories as if they

> are separate lives. Many unremembered memories, obsessing on those

> that hold significance. I also spend lots of time thinking over the

> segmented past trying to figure out why different experiences

caused

> me to behave as I did. The main idea here, seems to be seeing who

> you are at different times, as being like different people. I feel

> as though Ive been many things, having no certain identity, except

> human.

> Also, if I happen to become close to another, I tend to cling to

> only them, and absorb their personality into me. This may be why

> there's no sense of a personal identity. This maybe self esteem

> related. I don't know. I think it has more to do with being so

> narrowly focused on someone or something, that you feel one with

> it/them. Unable to seperate who you are in your mind, from who/what

> they are/it is.

Very recognizable!! thank you!! also what you say on 'becoming close'

I had that once (and since then I have the boundary problems). But it

was confusing for several reasons, also because the person reminded

me of who I was before! (I even heard he also had similar experiences

in childhood, but it was mainly our expression and 'our worlds'

seemed so similar - and it was the very very first time I could

relate to another person! - etc), I started getting flashback memory

type of stuff!! And since then I have this identity problem. So it's

partially related to this 'memory retrieval' (and the fact that it

indeed seems to me I have been several selves over time) and

partially because my personal boundary fell between me and the other

person. Also - because I had *never* before recognized myself in

anyone in such a way, it was incredible.. I always felt like " being

completely different than everyone else " . This changed dramatically.

I still have problems with it.

But I feel the problem also lies in the non-integration of the

several parts of me.. cause if I see only one small part of another I

recognize myself in, my boundary blurs, whereas, if I'd see it is

only 10% we have in common (it usually is only a small part!) - my

boundary wouldn't blur, it would be obvious we are two different

individuals, despite the fact we have a small part in common.

But maybe I rationalize it too much, maybe it really is more a

feeling-thing, more instinctual or subconscious than this

rational " fragmentation " theory I now have.

I have to admit, that if I think further and consider everyone out

there has at least one smaller or bigger part in common with me, that

does also not really make me 'know who I am'... am I then only a

combination of different pieces and parts which you can find in

others too, albeit not in the same 'mixture'? It doesn't really help

me feel 'me'.

hmpf