Communication with School-sorry long

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This message is to vent and hopefully get some comments. My ds is

10 and has AS. He is mainstreamed into 5th grade and we like most

familes have had years of fighting under our belts to get and keep

services etc. Background: For the past two years I was able to use

the case worker/coordinator who is also the Autism specialist and

special educator to vent, pose questions, and provide her our

suggestions. This was mostly done verbally either in person or over

the phone. We developed a great relationship and she called me

after hours, on the weekend, and in the summer as I did her also.

She helped me through this venting process, helped me prioritize my

concerns, and did most of the communicating with the school

personnel to bring about positive changes.

All that has changed this year due to the increase in her case load

and personal life. (She started working on her Doctorate that I

encouraged her to do and proof read for her) She has truly been a

positive contribution to my son's education and a positive support

for me.

The issue: Now that she has limited time and my family also. I

decided two things one to try and work things out directly with

school personnel and two to not take up so much of her time. I

limited calls and visits and tried e-mailing her. This was not

effective because I believe she became offended by my written words

although they were consistent with our previous two year

conversations. She also did not respond to many issues stated in

these e-mails.

This year's IEP did not go very smoothly and that is a result of our

lack of positive communications. Since the IEP my husband is

involved as it took a toll on me emotionally. We now only send a

weekly e-mail. It is formal and states as concisely as possible our

concerns, comments, questions, and suggestions. It is written as

objectively as possible.

The first week we got a reply of " Thanks " . The second week we got

no reply at all although I got a 10 minute phone call that included

the phrase " Don't think I have forgotten about you " . The Third week

no reply again.

My husband says stay patient and calm he will keep sending these

messages and if he doesn't get a reply by the end of this week he

will ask her if she wants him to go above her.

My attempt to not take up so much of her time has really backfired

and I feel so diappointed about it because I discussed it with her

before I started doing it.

Thanks for listening.

TJ & JR's Mom