Re: Scrupulosity and a book

[Guest guest]

it sounds great - thanks - no scrup issues here but we use humor and

more often than not it takes the edge off

eileen

Quoting <@...>:

> 's still having it " bad. " I was gone all day today (freshman

> college thing with another son) and I could take one look at

> when I got home to ask if he was OK and he said he'd had a bad day.

> I mentioned to Sandy in a reply that he's getting angry lately.

> Angry at the thoughts, God, maybe himself, OCD. Feels maybe like

> he's not close to God or won't go to heaven, etc., etc. SIGH!

> (guessing some of that)

>

> Anyway I have a book I want to recommend. was soooo

> down/unhappy last night and I was searching around on the internet

> for *something* to help. I found & printed out a chapter of the

> book last night and read it aloud to . It's called " Devil in

> the Details. " By Traig who suffered from OCD and scrupe. I

> just LOVED this first chapter and seemed to enjoy it. I

> asked him if I bought the book would he read it and got a " dunno " so

> I told him I'd read it to him! (I bought the book today!!) She

> writes of her OCD in such a humorous way (at least in this chapter)

> that I found myself laughing at times! And I felt sooooo much better

> than before we read it - which I commented on to - after

> reading the chapter because it was, in spite of knowing it was an

> ordeal for her, so lighthearted/funny in the way she writes. Here's

> a link to anyone interested: --may have to copy & paste the link, it

> ends .html

>

> http://www.twbookmark.com/books/76/031601074X/chapter_excerpt22214.htm

> l

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

sorry I forgot to say sorry to hear he's having problems and again

thanks for the book info

eileen

Quoting <@...>:

> 's still having it " bad. " I was gone all day today (freshman

> college thing with another son) and I could take one look at

> when I got home to ask if he was OK and he said he'd had a bad day.

> I mentioned to Sandy in a reply that he's getting angry lately.

> Angry at the thoughts, God, maybe himself, OCD. Feels maybe like

> he's not close to God or won't go to heaven, etc., etc. SIGH!

> (guessing some of that)

>

> Anyway I have a book I want to recommend. was soooo

> down/unhappy last night and I was searching around on the internet

> for *something* to help. I found & printed out a chapter of the

> book last night and read it aloud to . It's called " Devil in

> the Details. " By Traig who suffered from OCD and scrupe. I

> just LOVED this first chapter and seemed to enjoy it. I

> asked him if I bought the book would he read it and got a " dunno " so

> I told him I'd read it to him! (I bought the book today!!) She

> writes of her OCD in such a humorous way (at least in this chapter)

> that I found myself laughing at times! And I felt sooooo much better

> than before we read it - which I commented on to - after

> reading the chapter because it was, in spite of knowing it was an

> ordeal for her, so lighthearted/funny in the way she writes. Here's

> a link to anyone interested: --may have to copy & paste the link, it

> ends .html

>

> http://www.twbookmark.com/books/76/031601074X/chapter_excerpt22214.htm

> l

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing. I will definitely order the book. My son also has

scrupulosity issues. I have noticed that when we are at church lately, he tends

to keep his head down. Then today he told me that his OCD is really bad when we

are at mass. He has do do continuous mental rituals to try to block blasphemous

thoughts. But, if he doesn't go, he thinks he will go to hell and has to deal

with that. I am glad he was able to tell me. We decided not to go to mass after

all. I think we will have to take this easy ERP-style somehow. Does anyone have

any suggestions on how to handle this?

Sinead

Scrupulosity and a book

's still having it " bad. " I was gone all day today (freshman

college thing with another son) and I could take one look at

when I got home to ask if he was OK and he said he'd had a bad day.

I mentioned to Sandy in a reply that he's getting angry lately.

Angry at the thoughts, God, maybe himself, OCD. Feels maybe like

he's not close to God or won't go to heaven, etc., etc. SIGH!

(guessing some of that)

Anyway I have a book I want to recommend. was soooo

down/unhappy last night and I was searching around on the internet

for *something* to help. I found & printed out a chapter of the

book last night and read it aloud to . It's called " Devil in

the Details. " By Traig who suffered from OCD and scrupe. I

just LOVED this first chapter and seemed to enjoy it. I

asked him if I bought the book would he read it and got a " dunno " so

I told him I'd read it to him! (I bought the book today!!) She

writes of her OCD in such a humorous way (at least in this chapter)

that I found myself laughing at times! And I felt sooooo much better

than before we read it - which I commented on to - after

reading the chapter because it was, in spite of knowing it was an

ordeal for her, so lighthearted/ funny in the way she writes. Here's

a link to anyone interested: --may have to copy & paste the link, it

ends .html

http://www.twbookma rk.com/books/ 76/031601074X/ chapter_excerpt2 2214.htm

l

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

(and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

http://tv./collections/265

[Guest guest]

i would call the church to see if they have thoughts - for now they

should be able to come to the house and pray a bit and bring him

Communion if he's old enough??? then maybe he'll like he's not going

to Hell for missing until you find how to ERP it -just thoughts

one of our deacons tapped dd on the head yesterday with a bulletin-

male issues are a biggie and she collapsed to the floor full blown

meltdown thank God it was on the way out

BUT - we didn't go back home so she never washed,changed etc she

fulled ERP'd it and did great for the day :-)

eileen

Quoting Sinead Ni <sinead115@...>:

>

> Thanks for sharing. I will definitely order the book. My son also

> has scrupulosity issues. I have noticed that when we are at church

> lately, he tends to keep his head down. Then today he told me that

> his OCD is really bad when we are at mass. He has do do continuous

> mental rituals to try to block blasphemous thoughts. But, if he

> doesn't go, he thinks he will go to hell and has to deal with that.

> I am glad he was able to tell me. We decided not to go to mass after

> all. I think we will have to take this easy ERP-style somehow. Does

> anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this?

> Sinead

>

> Scrupulosity and a book

>

> 's still having it " bad. " I was gone all day today (freshman

> college thing with another son) and I could take one look at

> when I got home to ask if he was OK and he said he'd had a bad day.

> I mentioned to Sandy in a reply that he's getting angry lately.

> Angry at the thoughts, God, maybe himself, OCD. Feels maybe like

> he's not close to God or won't go to heaven, etc., etc. SIGH!

> (guessing some of that)

>

> Anyway I have a book I want to recommend. was soooo

> down/unhappy last night and I was searching around on the internet

> for *something* to help. I found & printed out a chapter of the

> book last night and read it aloud to . It's called " Devil in

> the Details. " By Traig who suffered from OCD and scrupe. I

> just LOVED this first chapter and seemed to enjoy it. I

> asked him if I bought the book would he read it and got a " dunno " so

> I told him I'd read it to him! (I bought the book today!!) She

> writes of her OCD in such a humorous way (at least in this chapter)

> that I found myself laughing at times! And I felt sooooo much better

> than before we read it - which I commented on to - after

> reading the chapter because it was, in spite of knowing it was an

> ordeal for her, so lighthearted/ funny in the way she writes. Here's

> a link to anyone interested: --may have to copy & paste the link, it

> ends .html

>

> http://www.twbookma rk.com/books/ 76/031601074X/ chapter_excerpt2 2214.htm

> l

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

> We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

> (and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

> http://tv./collections/265

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is great that your daughter was able to handle that!

I did think about contacting our priest to see if he has any ideas, but in

general people have such trouble in understanding OCD, I am concerned it might

make things worse!

Scrupulosity and a book

>

> 's still having it " bad. " I was gone all day today (freshman

> college thing with another son) and I could take one look at

> when I got home to ask if he was OK and he said he'd had a bad day.

> I mentioned to Sandy in a reply that he's getting angry lately.

> Angry at the thoughts, God, maybe himself, OCD. Feels maybe like

> he's not close to God or won't go to heaven, etc., etc. SIGH!

> (guessing some of that)

>

> Anyway I have a book I want to recommend. was soooo

> down/unhappy last night and I was searching around on the internet

> for *something* to help. I found & printed out a chapter of the

> book last night and read it aloud to . It's called " Devil in

> the Details. " By Traig who suffered from OCD and scrupe. I

> just LOVED this first chapter and seemed to enjoy it. I

> asked him if I bought the book would he read it and got a " dunno " so

> I told him I'd read it to him! (I bought the book today!!) She

> writes of her OCD in such a humorous way (at least in this chapter)

> that I found myself laughing at times! And I felt sooooo much better

> than before we read it - which I commented on to - after

> reading the chapter because it was, in spite of knowing it was an

> ordeal for her, so lighthearted/ funny in the way she writes. Here's

> a link to anyone interested: --may have to copy & paste the link, it

> ends .html

>

> http://www.twbookma rk.com/books/ 76/031601074X/ chapter_excerpt2 2214.htm

> l

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

> (and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

> http://tv.. com/collections/ 265

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is great that your daughter was able to handle that!

I did think about contacting our priest to see if he has any ideas, but in

general people have such trouble in understanding OCD, I am concerned it might

make things worse!

Scrupulosity and a book

>

> 's still having it " bad. " I was gone all day today (freshman

> college thing with another son) and I could take one look at

> when I got home to ask if he was OK and he said he'd had a bad day.

> I mentioned to Sandy in a reply that he's getting angry lately.

> Angry at the thoughts, God, maybe himself, OCD. Feels maybe like

> he's not close to God or won't go to heaven, etc., etc. SIGH!

> (guessing some of that)

>

> Anyway I have a book I want to recommend. was soooo

> down/unhappy last night and I was searching around on the internet

> for *something* to help. I found & printed out a chapter of the

> book last night and read it aloud to . It's called " Devil in

> the Details. " By Traig who suffered from OCD and scrupe. I

> just LOVED this first chapter and seemed to enjoy it. I

> asked him if I bought the book would he read it and got a " dunno " so

> I told him I'd read it to him! (I bought the book today!!) She

> writes of her OCD in such a humorous way (at least in this chapter)

> that I found myself laughing at times! And I felt sooooo much better

> than before we read it - which I commented on to - after

> reading the chapter because it was, in spite of knowing it was an

> ordeal for her, so lighthearted/ funny in the way she writes. Here's

> a link to anyone interested: --may have to copy & paste the link, it

> ends .html

>

> http://www.twbookma rk.com/books/ 76/031601074X/ chapter_excerpt2 2214.htm

> l

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

> (and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

> http://tv.. com/collections/ 265

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi all - I'm new to this board and new to panic/OCD issues. My 8

year old son had his first panic attack 2 months ago and has been

showing signs of OCD (frequent hand washing, disturbing thought

coming into his head). We are investigating pyschologists (been to

one 3 times but need to change now).

What are scrupulosity issues? My son has been having thought of

dying/going to hell if he doesn't put away his toys, if he thinks

something mean about someone, if he kicks someone's chair, etc..

He's been saying things I feel God will want me to die if I do

this.... Last Sunday at church the reading was about blindness and

he said he felt like his body was telling him he'd go blind if he

didn't pay attention. Then he said it felt like something weird was

happening to his eyes, like God wanted him to be blind.

Thanks for reading and I'd appreciate thoughts on this issue from

anyone who wants to share.

Joy

>

> That is great that your daughter was able to handle that!

> I did think about contacting our priest to see if he has any

ideas, but in general people have such trouble in understanding OCD,

I am concerned it might make things worse!

>

>

> Scrupulosity and a book

> >

> > 's still having it " bad. " I was gone all day today

(freshman

> > college thing with another son) and I could take one look at

> > when I got home to ask if he was OK and he said he'd had a bad

day.

> > I mentioned to Sandy in a reply that he's getting angry lately.

> > Angry at the thoughts, God, maybe himself, OCD. Feels maybe like

> > he's not close to God or won't go to heaven, etc., etc. SIGH!

> > (guessing some of that)

> >

> > Anyway I have a book I want to recommend. was soooo

> > down/unhappy last night and I was searching around on the

internet

> > for *something* to help. I found & printed out a chapter of the

> > book last night and read it aloud to . It's called " Devil

in

> > the Details. " By Traig who suffered from OCD and

scrupe. I

> > just LOVED this first chapter and seemed to enjoy it. I

> > asked him if I bought the book would he read it and got

a " dunno " so

> > I told him I'd read it to him! (I bought the book today!!) She

> > writes of her OCD in such a humorous way (at least in this

chapter)

> > that I found myself laughing at times! And I felt sooooo much

better

> > than before we read it - which I commented on to - after

> > reading the chapter because it was, in spite of knowing it was an

> > ordeal for her, so lighthearted/ funny in the way she writes.

Here's

> > a link to anyone interested: --may have to copy & paste the

link, it

> > ends .html

> >

> > http://www.twbookma rk.com/books/ 76/031601074X/

chapter_excerpt2 2214.htm

> > l

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

> > (and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

> > http://tv.. com/collections/ 265

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/20/2007 9:57:50 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

maryjoyguzman@... writes:

What are scrupulosity issues? My son has been having thought of

dying/going to hell if he doesn't put away his toys, if he thinks

something mean about someone, if he kicks someone's chair, etc..

He's been saying things I feel God will want me to die if I do

this.... Last Sunday at church the reading was about blindness and

he said he felt like his body was telling him he'd go blind if he

didn't pay attention. Then he said it felt like something weird was

happening to his eyes, like God wanted him to be blind.

Joy

Welcome to the group!! Scrupulosity is what you're describing here - the

thoughts/worries your son is having. There are some parents on this board who

have kids with the same. You will be hearing from them shortly, I'm sure.

You mentioned changing psychologists - is the one you're with now not

trained in OCD treatment, or is there just a personality conflict or something?

Do

look around for a therapist you & your son are comfortable with & who

definitely has experience treating this type of disorder. Ask on the phone

before

you go in if they have other patients with the same disorder.

There's also medication to look into. Not everyone is " for " meds... it's a

personal decision to be sure. However, it may come to a point where your son

has trouble functioning & therapy will not work until his mind is 'clear'.

In therapy, they will try & teach him how to fight back the bad thoughts.

Teaching someone something while they can't think clearly & can't concentrate

on what they're trying to learn, is pretty impossible. That's kind of how a

doctor explained the need for meds to me when my daughter was first diagnosed.

Also, don't go into it thinking it's a " forever " thing just because he

starts them. It doesn't have to be forever. My daughter has been on meds for

just over a year now - the last several months we've been lowering the dose

slowly. We're hoping she will be off completely very soon.

My dd (darling daughter) was diagnosed at 14. She's now 15 & doing really

well. We are a very lucky/fortunate case. She developed germ issues (giving

them to someone else, not the other way around), excessive hand washing, 3+

hour long showers because she just couldn't stop washing. Every article of

clothing (even jackets) had to be washed after one wearing (even if it was just

for an hour or two). Her hands looked like little lobsters & her clothes

were literally falling apart. There are some tricks I can pass along to make

those types of issues easier on you at least... let me know if you'd like to

hear them.

Over a few months, she developed other unrelated obsessions & compulsions -

a fear of being " seen " through her bedroom or bathroom windows - can't tell

you how many sets of mini-blinds have been broken in my house as a result of

her turning that little rod that closes them... SO many times, it just broke

the mechanism. A fear of the zipper of her pants not being up " all the way " -

resulted in her yanking on the darn things SO hard & so many times, a number

of zipper tabs just snapped off in her hand. She also did some turning &

checking rituals at bedtime.

Anyway, the reduction of meds has been most successful (so far). She's

still on 20mg of Prozac per day at this point.

Again, welcome to the group. You'll find tons of support here!!!

LT

************************************** AOL now offers free email to everyone.

Find out more about what's free from AOL at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Joy:

Welcome. I hope you'll find support and guidance and information here.

I'm also rather new here, with an 18 year old daughter who has, among other

things, scrupulosity issues. Sometimes scrupulosity takes the exact form

you're describing - " I must do THIS thing in THIS way or there will be

RELIGIOUS payback. "

For my daughter it's that her ethics and morals take on a profound black and

white flavor. She had a rock band for a few years, but decided the lead

guitarist, although a friend and good musician, could no longer be in the

band because he had taken up occasionallly smoking cigarettes (not anywhere

around her or the band), and that violated some agreement they had. She

refused to see that she was destroying the band by doing this., and was

furious with me for suggesting she maybe be a little flexible about someone

else's personal habits. This is only one example, but it's emblematic of

how her inner life is run.

She is also terribly hard on herself for everything. She has issues about

taking showers. She has a notion that when in the shower she won't be able

to hear someone yelling that the house is on fire or warning about some

other emergency. She has thuscome to associate a terrific sense of dread

and panic about the shower, and can only take one twice a week or so, with

great effort. If she starts the process (running the water for 30 minutes

first, talking on phone to boyfriend to calm her down first, etc.) but

cannot complete a shower, she turns into a helpless little girl who talks in

a little tiny monotone one-syllable voice, looking at the floor, and picks

at her skin, and decides she is worthless and will be unable to go to

college, etc.,and probably not sleep well that night. This is her way of

" punishing " herself for " failing " to take a shower.

Her scrupulosity thus isn't religious, but has all the flavor of a very

moral and judgmental and guilt-inducing religion.

========================

Hi all - I'm new to this board and new to panic/OCD issues. My 8

year old son had his first panic attack 2 months ago and has been

showing signs of OCD (frequent hand washing, disturbing thought

coming into his head). We are investigating pyschologists (been to

one 3 times but need to change now).

What are scrupulosity issues? My son has been having thought of

dying/going to hell if he doesn't put away his toys, if he thinks

something mean about someone, if he kicks someone's chair, etc..

He's been saying things I feel God will want me to die if I do

this.... Last Sunday at church the reading was about blindness and

he said he felt like his body was telling him he'd go blind if he

didn't pay attention. Then he said it felt like something weird was

happening to his eyes, like God wanted him to be blind.

Thanks for reading and I'd appreciate thoughts on this issue from

anyone who wants to share.

Joy

[Guest guest]

I'd give specifics as everyone just assumes handwashing etc means OCD

eileen

Quoting Sinead Ni <sinead115@...>:

> That is great that your daughter was able to handle that!

> I did think about contacting our priest to see if he has any ideas,

> but in general people have such trouble in understanding OCD, I am

> concerned it might make things worse!

>

>

> Scrupulosity and a book

>>

>> 's still having it " bad. " I was gone all day today (freshman

>> college thing with another son) and I could take one look at

>> when I got home to ask if he was OK and he said he'd had a bad day.

>> I mentioned to Sandy in a reply that he's getting angry lately.

>> Angry at the thoughts, God, maybe himself, OCD. Feels maybe like

>> he's not close to God or won't go to heaven, etc., etc. SIGH!

>> (guessing some of that)

>>

>> Anyway I have a book I want to recommend. was soooo

>> down/unhappy last night and I was searching around on the internet

>> for *something* to help. I found & printed out a chapter of the

>> book last night and read it aloud to . It's called " Devil in

>> the Details. " By Traig who suffered from OCD and scrupe. I

>> just LOVED this first chapter and seemed to enjoy it. I

>> asked him if I bought the book would he read it and got a " dunno " so

>> I told him I'd read it to him! (I bought the book today!!) She

>> writes of her OCD in such a humorous way (at least in this chapter)

>> that I found myself laughing at times! And I felt sooooo much better

>> than before we read it - which I commented on to - after

>> reading the chapter because it was, in spite of knowing it was an

>> ordeal for her, so lighthearted/ funny in the way she writes. Here's

>> a link to anyone interested: --may have to copy & paste the link, it

>> ends .html

>>

>> http://www.twbookma rk.com/books/ 76/031601074X/ chapter_excerpt2 2214.htm

>> l

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

>> We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love

>> (and love to hate): TV's Guilty Pleasures list.

>> http://tv.. com/collections/ 265

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Hi Joy!

My son (18) read your note over my shoulder and agreed that some

sounded like scrupe issues. (he is greatly suffering from

scrupulosity now)

The issues with scrupulosity - the type of thoughts, fears, etc. -

can vary with each person. With my son it seemed to begin with all

these promises/vows he made to God. Just impulsive type, dare I

say: " stupid " , promises, very illogical, no reasoning or thought

behind them really. So the problem became with keeping them.

Still a problem with the vows, but he also has blasphemous thoughts;

won't tell me detail. But he's convinced now he won't go to heaven

and THAT is just really making him suffer & angry. Spends a lot of

time praying (it looks like). A mean thought about someone upsets

him, shouldn't have it, etc. SIGH, lists goes on.

I suffered as a teen a bit from scrupe too, but not in any of the

ways my son has (at least not most, he's not very talkative). He's

triggered mine a bit since this came up about a year ago. But for

me, I can shrug it off pretty easily. He can't quite separate the

OCD from what's *him* ( " what if it's ME and not OCD making me think

that " etc.)

Here's some links on the topic. You might have researched already

but maybe there's one you haven't yet seen:

http://www.lrwalker.net/article_whatisscrup.htm

http://www.catholicculture.org/docs/doc_view.cfm?recnum=7431

http://www.anxietyandstress.com/ocdreligionandscrupulosity.html

Years ago when OCD began, had more touching, repeating type

things. I think there were " thoughts " but there didn't seem to be

any bad ones. But watching his face, you could tell he

was " thinking " something. Anyway, no real scrupe issues back then.

Little things like being honest or not wanting to cheat and he

wouldn't let me " reward " him for trying to fight his OCD (he said it

wasn't rewarding, it was bribing!).

single mom, 3 sons

, 18, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers(autism/mild)

>

> Hi all - I'm new to this board and new to panic/OCD issues. My 8

> year old son had his first panic attack 2 months ago and has been

> showing signs of OCD (frequent hand washing, disturbing thought

> coming into his head). We are investigating pyschologists (been to

> one 3 times but need to change now).