Re: mean streak

[Guest guest]

My OCDer is 5 and yes, I find her doing things just to be mean! But, I also

find her doing things specifically to be nice - so that I see them.

Sharon

mean streak

I have an OCD 14 year old son. His is mild so we don't use any medication.

When he was younger, we used ERB but haven't done that for a couple of

years. Whenever I see him doing something that looks like OCD, I mention it

and he usually takes care of it himself. My OCD husband does the same thing.

What concerns me is that Kaniel seems to do " mean " things or say " mean "

things to his brothers. He has three brothers - two older and one younger. I

am especially concerned about the impact on my youngest one. The other three

boys are nice and sweet. Yes, they do mischievous things from time to time

but, my OCD son is different. For example, last night my youngest (age 11)

asked him to turn out the light for him because he is slightly afraid of the

dark and he did not want to walk from the light switch to his bed in the

dark. My OCD son refused and he was right there. That made my youngest

scream and when I asked why he wouldn't do it, his reply was, " Well it is

time he got over it and besides he did not ask nicely. " We know that is not

true and I told him he was not the parent and it was not up to him to decide

this. Anyway, this is just a small example and it happens all the time -

usually with words. He says things that are just mean.

Do you find that to be an OCD trait? My husband is not that way at all.

-

[Guest guest]

Hi , with 3 sons myself I have to say it's just *him* and not

OCD. However, you never know with OCD if there might have been

*something* that kept your 14 yr old from turning out the light and

he wouldn't admit OCD was stopping him. But I could definitely see

any of my sons (well, not , my OCDer, he's nice!) refusing to

do that for someone and saying that same thing ( " time he got over

it " etc.). You're nice, I'd probably have said something smart (and

immature, LOL) back to him about how *easy* it was for him to get

over his OCD fears and compare the two or brought up some similarity

from his past.

had an OCD thing about clocks once. had to see the

clocks. would cover them up. And for whatever OCD reason,

couldn't just uncover them. So would be all OCD-

upset about the clocks, I'd uncover the clocks and would say

something like, " well, he'll never get over it if you.... " Besides

telling him that we weren't " working " on the clocks now and to stop

it, I could remind of how he was with some of his own fears

(spiders, his separation anxiety regarding me he went thru for a

bit, etc.).

Fears aside, I think teens can simply get an " attitude " at certain

ages and go thru stages where they get " meaner " towards siblings and

a bit mouthy/independent from mom/dad. Also they forget the things

they went through or felt when younger, it's like *they* made it

past it, it's no big deal, and forget what a *big deal* it was at

the time.

OK, rambling a bit! I'd guess " no OCD " but with OCD you never know!

single mom, 3 sons

, 18, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

, 18

Randall, almost 22!

>

> I have an OCD 14 year old son. His is mild so we don't use any

medication.

> When he was younger, we used ERB but haven't done that for a

couple of

> years. Whenever I see him doing something that looks like OCD, I

mention it

> and he usually takes care of it himself. My OCD husband does the

same thing.

[Guest guest]

We have a 24 yos, still living home, who likes nothing better it

seems than to stress out his younger sister. No, he doesn't have

OCD, definitely ADD. He also loves to point out things his younger

brother and sister aren't doing that he feels they should. Need I

say,his younger sister, 18, has always been a much easier child to

have around, fairly compliant, good grades in school etc. etc. Both

younger siblings deal with OCD and he has mentioned more than

once that he doesn't really believe in that stuff. Sooo it might be just

the way your son is, or is he jealous that the other 3 don't have

things to deal with like he has the OCD. Just thoughts!

F

P.S We have to remind him frequently that he is NOT the parent.

[Guest guest]

our once sweet as pie dd - has a mean streak too now- dh says it's

caused by frustration etc from OCD -whatever I wish it would go!!!!!!!!!

eileen

Quoting jpfolkert@...:

> We have a 24 yos, still living home, who likes nothing better it

> seems than to stress out his younger sister. No, he doesn't have

> OCD, definitely ADD. He also loves to point out things his younger

> brother and sister aren't doing that he feels they should. Need I

> say,his younger sister, 18, has always been a much easier child to

> have around, fairly compliant, good grades in school etc. etc. Both

> younger siblings deal with OCD and he has mentioned more than

> once that he doesn't really believe in that stuff. Sooo it might be just

> the way your son is, or is he jealous that the other 3 don't have

> things to deal with like he has the OCD. Just thoughts!

> F

> P.S We have to remind him frequently that he is NOT the parent.

>

[Guest guest]

My 8 year old has ocd, and can be quite nasty when he is in an intense

ocd mode. Rules are very important to him, including manners. If out

of the blue someone where to ask him something nicely, he would gladly

help. However, if someone tells him what to do, forgets manners, or

uses unpleasant tone with him, he would refuse to help. He is very

rigid. So to counter act the rules issues, I make house rules to help

keep peace. - Troublemaking goes to his room.

- Rude, or Nasty, goes to his room.

- Our home will be a peaceful loving home!

- The family room is a place to be loving and kind.

Being part of a family is a blessing and a privledge. Anyone who does

not want to be kind, or thoughtful, can to their room.

Living with a house full of kids can be crazy if rules aren't in place

to protect each members sanity. My kids can go to their rooms to be

alone, to relax, to get away from stress. They can hang out together,

in the family room if they want and usually they choose to be together.

No one gets to play parent, they can help with a younger sibling, but

it is not their responsibility to., Unless I, ask. Acts of kindness,

are random. and given a choice, the kids usually choose to be kind.

OCD or not.