Guest guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 I don't blame you at all Jodi. Time out is about as effective as saying "No, no." It's boring for them at best. I'm not saying that it isn't better than nothing, and got the message in the car. Children, at least small ones, don't really like being in control because I think it scares them if the adult isn't, because they don't really know how to manage things. Now, it doesn't take too long before rages and desire for control become addictive. I'm sure you didn't wound his psyche by correcting him, but rather got the message across. Do I think it's a healing? No, just a deterrent, which is better than a car accident. I'd not expect that it mightn't come up again if he can reach any throwable objects. Well remembering my daughter launching herself at me (for the first time) on a highway at 55 miles an hour. It's those times we find we need God's immediate help! Love, Francine In a message dated 8/22/2007 2:49:11 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jjkgardenier@... writes: Thanks! I will look into social classes! Right now he is seeing a really cool phychologist who is helping him with social skills and our headstart is great but we still need all the help in that area we can get! I also find opportunities for him to be around children every chance I get, being as he is an only child. Church activities, Mcs play area, swimming, library story hour, TKD etc. We're busy!We had a bad incident today where threw a very heavy tape measurer at my head while I was driving. It was after having a meltdown in the dollar store and therefore leaving without a toy.I VERY rarely spank . But I pulled over, crawled in the back seat and put him over my lap. He cried and was real mad for a bit, but after that we went to two more stores and he was so well behaved that I bought him a Starwars watch. I realize spanking is controversial and I hope I don't offend anyone.But I believe when a child is downright defiant and in danger (of me wreaking the car) I need to get his attention. At home when he bites, kicks etc. it is time out. I must keep things out of reach during time out or he throws them at me.Tantrums like these are not near as common as they where during the twos and threes. It helps that he can speak much better now. I just pray that we can teach him to control his temper before he is big and can really hurt someone.Most of the time he is very sweet and happy and a joy.Jodi>> Jodi,> > "Boys will be boys" I recently went to my son's doctor appointment with his> neurologist. This was a question that my dad had whom went along with us.> What behaviors are boys will be boys and what is AS? > > He doctor replied: "It is who he is. Just like you, if you wanted to be> taller but your short, it's a part of him."> > I would suggest you getting social classes the earlier the better! We are> just now checking into this ourselves and my son is 10. Don't wait like we> did. > > Autistic kids do have a hard time sharing, they want to control the play> time. I was also raised with no boys, two sisters and no brothers. > > Debs> Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 HI Jodi No offence take here, you did what you had to do and you got thru to or he would not have settled down for the rest of the ride. As long as you continue to parent him proactively then I am convinced he will learn to control his aggression. I know my son did and grew into a loving gentle man. Wags! Wags! Wags! Lowry "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." Author Ben Autism and Aspergers Treatment From: jjkgardenier@...Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2007 06:48:29 +0000Subject: Re: Bully- tantrums Thanks! I will look into social classes! Right now he is seeing a really cool phychologist who is helping him with social skills and our headstart is great but we still need all the help in that area we can get! I also find opportunities for him to be around children every chance I get, being as he is an only child. Church activities, Mcs play area, swimming, library story hour, TKD etc. We're busy!We had a bad incident today where threw a very heavy tape measurer at my head while I was driving. It was after having a meltdown in the dollar store and therefore leaving without a toy.I VERY rarely spank . But I pulled over, crawled in the back seat and put him over my lap. He cried and was real mad for a bit, but after that we went to two more stores and he was so well behaved that I bought him a Starwars watch. I realize spanking is controversial and I hope I don't offend anyone.But I believe when a child is downright defiant and in danger (of me wreaking the car) I need to get his attention. At home when he bites, kicks etc. it is time out. I must keep things out of reach during time out or he throws them at me.Tantrums like these are not near as common as they where during the twos and threes. It helps that he can speak much better now. I just pray that we can teach him to control his temper before he is big and can really hurt someone.Most of the time he is very sweet and happy and a joy.Jodi>> Jodi,> > "Boys will be boys" I recently went to my son's doctor appointment with his> neurologist. This was a question that my dad had whom went along with us.> What behaviors are boys will be boys and what is AS? > > He doctor replied: "It is who he is. Just like you, if you wanted to be> taller but your short, it's a part of him."> > I would suggest you getting social classes the earlier the better! We are> just now checking into this ourselves and my son is 10. Don't wait like we> did. > > Autistic kids do have a hard time sharing, they want to control the play> time. I was also raised with no boys, two sisters and no brothers. > > Debs> Explore the seven wonders of the world Learn more! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 Here's a suggestion Jodi, if you've got a sewing machine. Get some -- I don't know what to call it, like woven nylony stuff, maybe an inch or two wide, should be on a roll in a fabric store. Sew it at waist point to some t-shirts in the front. Leave long straps to tie to some of similar stuff with like this clamp like thing from a sporting goods store. The clamp holds it wherever you put it. Run that around the seat to attach the t-shirt straps to. I hope this is clear. It's been a stressful couple of weeks! I'm wondering if anyone's come up with a locking car seat yet for kids with autism, etc.? I just know you don't want him loose in the car. !!! Love, Francine In a message dated 8/22/2007 12:26:11 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jjkgardenier@... writes: > > I'd not expect that it mightn't come up again if he can reach any throwable objects.> I'm afraid this has happened before in the van but with a carton of milk and an apple as a missle. He was spanked then also and no incedent after that for a few months. And he now knows how to unbuckle himself which is another struggle. Jodi Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 what would happen now a days with the rope bit would us being charged with abuse or some other thing .but all u were doing was trying to protect you ,him ,the others, & the house ugh that sounds horrible what you went through even now a days we dont have anything to keep them in their seats and so forth .my mother will still coem into my house and complain at me for not having everything cleaned (dusting windows ,floors scrubbed and carpets etc... ) but you cant do it by the time you got ur main things done (dishes to eat off of ,laundry to wear ,a path to walk trhough to the other rooms lol ) you got to start over .i have literally cleaned each room sev times a week cuz i cant get to the other ones cuz they mess up,destroy the other ones or they break out into fighting this is where mothers yell"CALGON TAKE ME AWAY".so to get to any deep cleaning done(closets,bathrooms,carpets,organization etc.........)you have to wait til they are in school for a full day to get it done .. my mom would tell us how she had benches in a pick up truck and my dad had an intercom we talked trhough to him no ropes lol but yea no seat belts.. my dad also would tell us my granma would tie him with rope to a clothes pole to keep him in one area while she was outside do that now adays lol . what is sad in this age no one really knows what to do.u never know if the thing u r doing to protect ur kids and house and so forth may be wrong.like locking them in their bedroom yes i understand what the fire man says with this but if that is the only way to keep him /her in the room at night u do it. so fire man says no so u dont lock the door and then during the night u wake to the cops at ur door after finding ur kid running the neighborhood at 2 :30 am (ok this has never happend to me just an example) but it is like what is a parent to do . safety comes first we just need to find out a solution on how to keep them safe and healthy with out breaking any laws .which is sad i know the rules r there for a reason but i am on myspace and i have a lot of freinds on there talking abot child abuse the state fell through on these kids and they are now dead but i had the child bureau called on me cuz my son said his daddy hit him( what it actually was he bumped him he was bent over went to stand up & bam right into derek) they were called wehn he was telling the tss well here they are coming to my house and of course finding nothing but yet they get all these reports for these kids and they dotn do anything and then the kid is dead . sorry what were we talking about again lol i kind of rambled vickie Re: Re: Bully- tantrums I don't blame you at all Jodi. Time out is about as effective as saying "No, no." It's boring for them at best. I'm not saying that it isn't better than nothing, and got the message in the car. Children, at least small ones, don't really like being in control because I think it scares them if the adult isn't, because they don't really know how to manage things. Now, it doesn't take too long before rages and desire for control become addictive. I'm sure you didn't wound his psyche by correcting him, but rather got the message across. Do I think it's a healing? No, just a deterrent, which is better than a car accident. I'd not expect that it mightn't come up again if he can reach any throwable objects. Well remembering my daughter launching herself at me (for the first time) on a highway at 55 miles an hour. It's those times we find we need God's immediate help! Love, Francine In a message dated 8/22/2007 2:49:11 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jjkgardenier@ sbcglobal. net writes: We had a bad incident today where threw a very heavy tape measurer at my head while I was driving. It was after having a meltdown in the dollar store and therefore leaving without a toy.I VERY rarely spank . But I pulled over, crawled in the back seat and put him over my lap. He cried and was real mad for a bit, but after that we went to two more stores and he was so well behaved that I bought him a Starwars watch. I realize spanking is controversial and I hope I don't offend anyone.But I believe when a child is downright defiant and in danger (of me wreaking the car) I need to get his attention. At home when he bites, kicks etc. it is time out. I must keep things out of reach during time out or he throws them at me.Tantrums like these are not near as common as they where during the twos and threes. It helps that he can speak much better now. I just pray that we can teach him to control his temper before he is big and can really hurt someone.Most of the time he is very sweet and happy and a joy.Jodi--- .. Got a little couch potato? Check out fun summer activities for kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 They do have restraints that can be purchased as they had one for my son when he used to ride the special needs bus. It fastened in the back somehow so that he couldn't reach the straps to undo them. Just make sure if you make something that there is a quick way out of it in case of an accident. Although you don't want him to get out or get up you have to be able to get him out quickly or if you are unable to do so then the emergency crew has to be able to get him out. Just my thoughts Marie Helping you earn $ at home www.freedom4families.com Re: Re: Bully- tantrums Here's a suggestion Jodi, if you've got a sewing machine. Get some -- I don't know what to call it, like woven nylony stuff, maybe an inch or two wide, should be on a roll in a fabric store. Sew it at waist point to some t-shirts in the front. Leave long straps to tie to some of similar stuff with like this clamp like thing from a sporting goods store. The clamp holds it wherever you put it. Run that around the seat to attach the t-shirt straps to. I hope this is clear. It's been a stressful couple of weeks! I'm wondering if anyone's come up with a locking car seat yet for kids with autism, etc.? I just know you don't want him loose in the car. !!! Love, Francine In a message dated 8/22/2007 12:26:11 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jjkgardeniersbcglobal (DOT) net writes: > > I'd not expect that it mightn't come up again if he can reach any throwable objects.> I'm afraid this has happened before in the van but with a carton of milk and an apple as a missle. He was spanked then also and no incedent after that for a few months. And he now knows how to unbuckle himself which is another struggle. Jodi Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com. No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.484 / Virus Database: 269.12.2/966 - Release Date: 22/08/2007 9:05 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2007 Report Share Posted August 23, 2007 Hello Francine and Jodi, You two talking about your children going ballistic in the car reminds me of when my son Marty used to do that. We had always had vans with the kids, and I still drive a van. Back then though we didn't have to use seat belts so the one we had just had two benches on each side in the back for the kids to sit on. Well one day I was driving down the highway and Marty jumped up and jumped on my head from behind and was trying to gouge my eyes, scared me silly. I have no idea why nobody else was with us that day to restrain him, but it was just him and me that time. My first thought was I needed to keep the van on the road, and my second thought was I had to do something so he wouldn't jump out the door in moving traffic! Anyway I got pulled over somehow, and secured the door, and him, and noticed my blouse was almost ripped off, and he had been going for my bra straps, wouldn't that have been a sight, a lady driving down the road with no top on! After that we put a heavy rope tied to the frame way to the back of the van, and he would have to sit there with it tied around his waist. Many times he would jump up and scream, but he could not get to me. Boy, I am I ever glad those years are over with him, I don't know to this day why he was so angry and wanted to hurt me. I think maybe because he knew I was the only one who cared about him, and he couldn't see why I didn't help him. He did this at home too, would throw anything he could get his hands on, straight in my face. He didn't bother anybody else. He would tear down my curtains, throw my purse at me, tip the refrigerator forward so the food would fall out, pick up the food and throw it, bottles of Pepsi, etc. Sometimes they would break, explode actually, and then he would go and grab the broken glass and throw it too. I was always torn between protecting myself, protecting him, and protecting my house and the things in it! Finally I got a rope and tied it to the frame of the couch, and tied him to it each morning after I dressed him, so he couldn't do that. Had to do something. Like I said, I am sure GLAD those days are over with, we have proven you can pretty much go through anything, well with LOTS of prayer that is!!!! I would recommend you get a rope if you need it, don't see what else we can do, but the authorities may frown on you. Oh well. Drugs did not settle him down, in fact I think made his problem worse, sad to say. Carolyn Re: Re: Bully- tantrums I don't blame you at all Jodi. Time out is about as effective as saying "No, no." It's boring for them at best. I'm not saying that it isn't better than nothing, and got the message in the car. Children, at least small ones, don't really like being in control because I think it scares them if the adult isn't, because they don't really know how to manage things. Now, it doesn't take too long before rages and desire for control become addictive. I'm sure you didn't wound his psyche by correcting him, but rather got the message across. Do I think it's a healing? No, just a deterrent, which is better than a car accident. I'd not expect that it mightn't come up again if he can reach any throwable objects. Well remembering my daughter launching herself at me (for the first time) on a highway at 55 miles an hour. It's those times we find we need God's immediate help! Love, Francine In a message dated 8/22/2007 2:49:11 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jjkgardeniersbcglobal (DOT) net writes: We had a bad incident today where threw a very heavy tape measurer at my head while I was driving. It was after having a meltdown in the dollar store and therefore leaving without a toy.I VERY rarely spank . But I pulled over, crawled in the back seat and put him over my lap. He cried and was real mad for a bit, but after that we went to two more stores and he was so well behaved that I bought him a Starwars watch. I realize spanking is controversial and I hope I don't offend anyone.But I believe when a child is downright defiant and in danger (of me wreaking the car) I need to get his attention. At home when he bites, kicks etc. it is time out. I must keep things out of reach during time out or he throws them at me.Tantrums like these are not near as common as they where during the twos and threes. It helps that he can speak much better now. I just pray that we can teach him to control his temper before he is big and can really hurt someone.Most of the time he is very sweet and happy and a joy.Jodi--- .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2007 Report Share Posted August 23, 2007 Jodi,Sounds like you had a good reason to spank. We've done it when behavior endangered someone or something (dogs, birds, etc.). I was always intrigued at the way it " rebooted " my son's system. Now that he's older (7), he's learning how to reboot himself before he behaves impulsively. In my book, you did the right thing. SharonOn 8/22/07, Jeff and Jodi <jjkgardenier@...> wrote: We had a bad incident today where threw a very heavy tape measurer at my head while I was driving. It was after having a meltdown in the dollar store and therefore leaving without a toy. I VERY rarely spank . But I pulled over, crawled in the back seat and put him over my lap. He cried and was real mad for a bit, but after that we went to two more stores and he was so well behaved that I bought him a Starwars watch. I realize spanking is controversial and I hope I don't offend anyone. But I believe when a child is downright defiant and in danger (of me wreaking the car) I need to get his attention. At home when he bites, kicks etc. it is time out. I must keep things out of reach during time out or he throws them at me. Change settings via the Web ( ID required) Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional Visit Your Group | Terms of Use | Unsubscribe . -- Deut 11:14 He will put grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will have plenty to eat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Have you read the book “the explosive child” by Mark Greene? I found it helpful but mine did not try things while we were driving. Hth Greta From: Autism and Aspergers Treatment [mailto:Autism and Aspergers Treatment ] On Behalf Of Marie Downey Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2007 3:43 PM Autism and Aspergers Treatment Subject: Re: Re: Bully- tantrums They do have restraints that can be purchased as they had one for my son when he used to ride the special needs bus. It fastened in the back somehow so that he couldn't reach the straps to undo them. Just make sure if you make something that there is a quick way out of it in case of an accident. Although you don't want him to get out or get up you have to be able to get him out quickly or if you are unable to do so then the emergency crew has to be able to get him out. Just my thoughts Marie Helping you earn $ at home www.freedom4families.com Re: Re: Bully- tantrums Here's a suggestion Jodi, if you've got a sewing machine. Get some -- I don't know what to call it, like woven nylony stuff, maybe an inch or two wide, should be on a roll in a fabric store. Sew it at waist point to some t-shirts in the front. Leave long straps to tie to some of similar stuff with like this clamp like thing from a sporting goods store. The clamp holds it wherever you put it. Run that around the seat to attach the t-shirt straps to. I hope this is clear. It's been a stressful couple of weeks! I'm wondering if anyone's come up with a locking car seat yet for kids with autism, etc.? I just know you don't want him loose in the car. !!! Love, Francine In a message dated 8/22/2007 12:26:11 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jjkgardeniersbcglobal (DOT) net writes: > > I'd not expect that it mightn't come up again if he can reach any throwable objects. > I'm afraid this has happened before in the van but with a carton of milk and an apple as a missle. He was spanked then also and no incedent after that for a few months. And he now knows how to unbuckle himself which is another struggle. Jodi Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com. size=2 width="100%" align=center> No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.484 / Virus Database: 269.12.2/966 - Release Date: 22/08/2007 9:05 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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