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Blaming yourself::::Re: Moving beyond SSRI's

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I absoluteley agree that traumatic events can trigger full blown

OCD. With my dd, now 10 who was diagnosed at aget 8, it was the

death of her grandfather, 3 weeks after having a stroke.

During that 3 week interval, she was praying on the playground and

singing Christian songs and she thought this would make her Papa

live. Then one night, she wanted to skip dinner, and lay on the

floor to sleep that night with no covers or pillow because she

believed this would make her Papa live. I did not allow her to do

that, months later when we saw the psychologist for the first time

she mentioned this and said that Papa died because I wouldn't let

her do what she wanted to save him. I know she had tendencies we

failed to recognize before. She said she was doing things in

kindergarten, wiping off germs, etc. She kept it hidden well, but,

our full blown, constant tantrums, oh, WE HAVE TO GET HELP, all

started during the time of her grandfather's illness and death. My

16 year old always says, " Genetics loads the gun, something else

pulls the trigger. " I agree with that.

Darletta

dparenting , " Nila " <nilanealy@...> wrote:

>

> I'm so glad you said this. My son started showing OCD after a

> particular incident. A few experts have told me the incidents

aren't

> related. I can't see how they can say that. I'll let you judge.

>

> Three years ago, my nephew and his wife had a beautiful baby girl.

It

> was a joyous event since they had just a year earlier given birth

to

> (at 20 weeks) and lost three little babies. This part of my family

is

> a bit of a disaster and constantly finds ways to end up in tragic

> situations. So, when the baby girl was about six weeks old, they

put

> her down for a nap on the floor. Unfortunately, they didn't realize

> she was in reach of a plastic bag. You can see where this is going.

> She was revived after having been " down " for at least 45 minutes,

> probably longer. She was transported to the children's hospital in

the

> nearest large city (where I live). The family was a wreck. As is

the

> typical case, I was called in to sit with my nephew and his wife

> through the night at the hospital. Though the baby was brain dead,

> they persisted in believing she would wake up. At one point, my

nephew

> even got into a physical fight with a doctor. It was one of the

most

> difficult situations I've been through...the feeling of

helplessness,

> of being in reality while watching other people crumble into

oblivion.

> My husband and kids came to visit me. My son (6 at the time)

wanted to

> visit his little cousin. A nurse told him, " you'd have to go the ER

> and have a test to make sure you're not carrying any germs that

could

> hurt the sick children. " We elected not to go through the tests.

And,

> the baby finally died after another two days.

>

> Two weeks later, I noticed that while riding his bike daily during

a

> beautiful August week, my son would make increasingly frequent

trips

> to the bathroom. After a few days, I saw that his hands were a

little

> rough and scratchy. Another day or so later, I found him in the

> bathroom scrubbing his hands. I realized he had been making those

> frequent trips to scrub his hands. And then I remembered that he'd

> been asking a lot of questions about things he'd done and if they'd

> hurt his little sister. I knew what was going on and got him into

> therapy as quickly as I could.

>

> He's long since gotten over the scrubbing. But, he still thinks

about

> how he might be hurting someone else. And, he travels through new

> versions of compulsions. Questioning. Hoarding. Making deals with

God.

> Other physical rituals. Of course the disorder waxes and wanes.

> Generally, he straddles the line between functional and paralysis.

>

> I realize that the capacity for OCD was already in his genes and

his

> brain, but I also believe that incident was the trigger that

brought

> OCD out in the open in our family.

>

>

> > This is so true. I can't tell you how many times I 'mentally'

> revisited

> > that day in October 2005 when we were all standing in our

neighbor's

> yard with

> > the ambulance, fire truck, police car all parked outside....

then

> seeing our

> > good friend brought out on a stretcher hooked up to all sorts of

> things.....

> > they stopped in the driveway & started giving him CPR...

everyone was

> > watching, including my dd....

> > You see - it was that day that really brought out her OCD.

>

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