Re: Need specific ERP step suggestions

January 1, 2007

In a message dated 1/1/2007 10:58:37 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

ewmerritt@... writes:

Now he's tired of talking and drawing and tonight he looked at the FIRST

really realistic picture of it (a more realistic action figure) and he got

really freaked out and I don't have a next step.

Not speaking from experience (we haven't had professional ERP yet... dd's

meds are working TOO well right now...) but, along the lines of drawing a

picture of the Bumble & putting stickers on it to make it look funny.... what

if

you got the action figure he's so afraid of & put doll clothes on it? A funny

hat... a pink dress... or something like that?

I heard others talk about taking " baby steps " with ERP, like only sitting in

the same room with the item for 1 minute at first... then working up to

longer periods of time, or moving closer to it, or things like that.

Just a thought. Again - I have no real personal experience with ERP - just

what I've read on this board & talked about with the doctor.

LT

January 2, 2007

Hi,

Did you try to show your son that Bubble turned good? Maybe he could see

that even through someone is mean and ugly, if good things come into their lives

they can change?

I'm sure he's really scared right now, but when he is calmer maybe drawing a

nice bumble might make him feel more in control. Good luck!

God bless,

Becky

and Bob Merritt <ewmerritt@...> wrote:

Hi everyone and anyone,

I was on this list years ago with my first son who is coping better now, but

my second son (turning ten) is faring less well. He has many obsessive

fears and I am trying to do some homegrown ERP with him, but am out of ideas

at a critical point. So I am once again turning to you in hopes of help.

One of his big fears is the character Bumble, the Abominable Snowman from

the Cartoon Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. He had made it into a terribly

frightening thing (I saw from a picture he drew) and I am trying to get him

past it.

Here is my first time out home grown ERP plan that has come to a screechng

halt at the worst moment:

We just talked about it for several days. He went from tentative to

enthusiastic and talked about ways he came up with to kill it.

Then we drew pictures of it and put funny stickers on it to make it less

intimidating.

Then we looked at Beanie Baby pictures of it I found on the WWW. He was a

little scared by that but got over it in a few days.

Now he's tired of talking and drawing and tonight he looked at the FIRST

really realistic picture of it (a more realistic action figure) and he got

really freaked out and I don't have a next step.

Does any one have IDEAS FOR NEXT ERP STEPS?

Thanks for all your help and support.

evelyn

Northern Cal

January 3, 2007

Sounds like you did a great job in ERP, mom! As for next step.... I'd say

PRAISE abundantly for him taking so many great steps, and maybe move down to

the notch before -- the pictures. Also, rather than the scary picture... fast

forward to the end of the movie where the abominable's teeth are gone and he

puts the star on the tree. You're doing great!

January 3, 2007

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions from everybody. He is doing

a little better now. He looked at the scarier picture one more time

now for just a few seconds more and then we made puppets out of paper

and cotton balls and that helped. He still went to bed by himself. I

think we will just try to look at it each day more for just a few

seonds at a time. Also I had found a funnier picture of it he could

look at afterward.

Also, we can put on a puppet show fo it tonight and tomorrow maybe

paint it (we haven't painted yet) after he is scared.

I haven't gotten the movie yet, but i read in an old post that he can

watch it with the remote control in his hand so he can stop it when he

needs to. And it was a GREAT suggestion to start with the end when

the snowman is friendly.

Thanks for ALL the help.

evelyn

January 4, 2007

One of my 5 yo dds fears has been toys going down the drain in the bath tub.

She got past that for awhile, but it is back. This time, instead of telling me

about it (her biggest complusion has been reassurance), she just takes all the

toys out of the tub before pulling the plug out. Last night she got out before

taking the toys out of pulling the plug out. I was tried and in a crappy mood.

I pulled the plug out and she said she needed to get back in. She grabbed the 3

smallest toys and I asked her what she was going to do with them. She said she

just needed them and I told her to give them to me. She knew I was probably

going to put them back in the tub, so she put them in her mouth (choaking on

things used to be one of her fears....). I told her to give them to me, she

did, reluctantly. I normally wouldnt do this, but was in such a bad mood, I

took one of the toys and put it on the drain, to show her it WILL NOT fit down

the drain. She was whimpering and breathing hard and whining for me not to do

it. I left it there less than a minute, but just wanted to show her it would

not go down. Then I told her I would be more worried about me throwing them

away because she was chewing on them, than worried about them going down the

drain. I shouldnt have said that, because it could trigger a new worry for her.

Sometimes I just cant handle things and do/say things I know I shouldnt.

Hopefully the drain worry is done now.

She recently told me of another worry that I didnt know about. I hate it when I

find out about them, it just shows me there is more to this than I really know.

She has been smelling her hands for months. She had a lot of colds this fall

and a couple of them turned into sinus infections. She had a very runny nose

for a long time this fall. When she would sniff, she would put her fingers by

her nose. It looked like she was smelling her fingers. Now I know it wasnt

that. I have a home daycare and a few months ago a 2 1/2 yo I care for put a

small bead up her nose. It was just right in the nostril, I was able to get it

out without problem. My dd was the one who saw it and we talked about how that

is NOT ok, NOT safe. I had no idea that had stuck in her head. So when she was

sniffing and putting her fingers by her nose, she was not smelling, she was

keeping her fingers there to make sure a bead doesnt go up her nose. <sigh>

Sharon

Re: Need specific ERP step suggestions

My daughter has worked with one or her obssessions now for 2 weeks and

started with one of the easiest ones by agreeing on handwashing 10 times

a day on a count of 3 but only after she goes to the bathroom. She does

this by realizing she has to boss back the OCD and we have giving it a

name that we can identify and externalize the behavior by giving it a

name. After all that we the parents have to cheerlead the event. So

far I have found an improvement. It is hard work but I know in the long

run we are going to be able to control this better. So I know by

getting hints on this and trying new things the OCD has been easier to

cope with.

I hope these ideas might help some parents out there. I searched so

much for help when this all started and feel that we are actually

getting somewhere now.

Take care

aldol32003

>

> In a message dated 1/1/2007 10:58:37 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> ewmerritt@... writes:

>

> Now he's tired of talking and drawing and tonight he looked at the

FIRST

> really realistic picture of it (a more realistic action figure) and he

got

> really freaked out and I don't have a next step.

>

> Not speaking from experience (we haven't had professional ERP yet...

dd's

> meds are working TOO well right now...) but, along the lines of

drawing a

> picture of the Bumble & putting stickers on it to make it look

funny.... what if

> you got the action figure he's so afraid of & put doll clothes on it?

A funny

> hat... a pink dress... or something like that?

>

> I heard others talk about taking " baby steps " with ERP, like only

sitting in

> the same room with the item for 1 minute at first... then working up

to

> longer periods of time, or moving closer to it, or things like that.

>

> Just a thought. Again - I have no real personal experience with ERP -

just

> what I've read on this board & talked about with the doctor.

> LT

>

January 4, 2007

sharon - your dd sounds like mine in that looking back there was stuff

there but until it got bad enough I didn't notice - BUT I do have to

say her main issue was and still is toilet/genetalia problems and they

did start right when one of my sons was training and walking around

naked - so maybe that was the trigger?? - I'm sorry to hear about her

new problems - I know I hate finding out it's deeper than we think -

uugghh!!!!

eileen

did I ever respond to your question - I think the support group was

babysteps or something like that?

Quoting kidsnpets <kidsnpets@...>:

> One of my 5 yo dds fears has been toys going down the drain in the

> bath tub. She got past that for awhile, but it is back. This time,

> instead of telling me about it (her biggest complusion has been

> reassurance), she just takes all the toys out of the tub before

> pulling the plug out. Last night she got out before taking the toys

> out of pulling the plug out. I was tried and in a crappy mood. I

> pulled the plug out and she said she needed to get back in. She

> grabbed the 3 smallest toys and I asked her what she was going to do

> with them. She said she just needed them and I told her to give

> them to me. She knew I was probably going to put them back in the

> tub, so she put them in her mouth (choaking on things used to be one

> of her fears....). I told her to give them to me, she did,

> reluctantly. I normally wouldnt do this, but was in such a bad

> mood, I took one of the toys and put it on the drain, to show her it

> WILL NOT fit down the drain. She was whimpering and breathing hard

> and whining for me not to do it. I left it there less than a

> minute, but just wanted to show her it would not go down. Then I

> told her I would be more worried about me throwing them away because

> she was chewing on them, than worried about them going down the

> drain. I shouldnt have said that, because it could trigger a new

> worry for her. Sometimes I just cant handle things and do/say

> things I know I shouldnt. Hopefully the drain worry is done now.

>

> She recently told me of another worry that I didnt know about. I

> hate it when I find out about them, it just shows me there is more

> to this than I really know. She has been smelling her hands for

> months. She had a lot of colds this fall and a couple of them

> turned into sinus infections. She had a very runny nose for a long

> time this fall. When she would sniff, she would put her fingers by

> her nose. It looked like she was smelling her fingers. Now I know

> it wasnt that. I have a home daycare and a few months ago a 2 1/2

> yo I care for put a small bead up her nose. It was just right in

> the nostril, I was able to get it out without problem. My dd was

> the one who saw it and we talked about how that is NOT ok, NOT safe.

> I had no idea that had stuck in her head. So when she was

> sniffing and putting her fingers by her nose, she was not smelling,

> she was keeping her fingers there to make sure a bead doesnt go up

> her nose. <sigh>

>

> Sharon

> Re: Need specific ERP step suggestions

>

> My daughter has worked with one or her obssessions now for 2 weeks and

> started with one of the easiest ones by agreeing on handwashing 10 times

> a day on a count of 3 but only after she goes to the bathroom. She does

> this by realizing she has to boss back the OCD and we have giving it a

> name that we can identify and externalize the behavior by giving it a

> name. After all that we the parents have to cheerlead the event. So

> far I have found an improvement. It is hard work but I know in the long

> run we are going to be able to control this better. So I know by

> getting hints on this and trying new things the OCD has been easier to

> cope with.

>

> I hope these ideas might help some parents out there. I searched so

> much for help when this all started and feel that we are actually

> getting somewhere now.

>

> Take care

>

> aldol32003

>

> >

> > In a message dated 1/1/2007 10:58:37 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> > ewmerritt@... writes:

> >

> > Now he's tired of talking and drawing and tonight he looked at the

> FIRST

> > really realistic picture of it (a more realistic action figure) and he

> got

> > really freaked out and I don't have a next step.

> >

> > Not speaking from experience (we haven't had professional ERP yet...

> dd's

> > meds are working TOO well right now...) but, along the lines of

> drawing a

> > picture of the Bumble & putting stickers on it to make it look

> funny.... what if

> > you got the action figure he's so afraid of & put doll clothes on it?

> A funny

> > hat... a pink dress... or something like that?

> >

> > I heard others talk about taking " baby steps " with ERP, like only

> sitting in

> > the same room with the item for 1 minute at first... then working up

> to

> > longer periods of time, or moving closer to it, or things like that.

> >

> > Just a thought. Again - I have no real personal experience with ERP -

> just

> > what I've read on this board & talked about with the doctor.

> > LT

> >

January 4, 2007

Yep, ugh!

No, thanks, I will look for that group.