Re: How to get rid of things

[Guest guest]

The way we did it was that we would put things in a " holding area. " We have a

storage area where sometimes things sat for years before she was ready to

part wit them. We usually progressed to the next step of give away or trash

whenever she went through a waning period. Good luck. Kim

In a message dated 12/30/2006 9:30:04 AM Central Standard Time,

nilanealy@... writes:

What advice

would you have?

[Guest guest]

we are working on that. 5 yo dd doesnt like to get rid of her stuff (toys,

clothes, pictures, she is ok with crumbs and toenails - thankfully). every once

in awhile we clean her room (she shares with 3 yo sister) and get rid of stuff.

we talk about donating it to people who dont have as much as we do, and that

usually gets her. she is so emotional and empathetic, she is willing to give to

someone who needs it. otherwise we talk about needing to make room for new

things.

sharon

How to " get rid of things "

Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

would you have?

Thanks much!

Nila

[Guest guest]

I have actually been able to move beyond the hording stage. I was not able to

do it on the first try and I had to perfect my technique but I finally found one

that my hoarder would listen too.

I announce that their room is going to be cleaned and give them a week to

clean it out themselves. I specifically list what my expectations are. Usually

I point out that while the rattle is a valuable item, it has outlived its use in

our home. I tell specific things that I think needs to be rid of, i.e. toys

that we have not played with in a year, toys that have no parts because they

have been lost/broken...

I know that they will not clean the room, so I follow it up with, if you have

not cleaned it by the end of the week I will. When it comes time for me to get

into the room I clean house. No matter the kicking and screaming, hollering and

yelling. By this time frustration has set in with me and I am able to turn my

own water faucet on and tell them about the poor boys and girls that have no

toys at all and how its selfish not to give to people that are less fortunate.

I have improved my speech so much that now my hoarder " donates " items to the

pile. BUT I have to get teary eyed. Its not hard, I really do want to help the

less fortunate. When my kids see that I am upset they tend to not be so selfish

and tend to attempt to overcome the NEED to keep everything.

Something else I have done is while they are at school start packing things

away a little at a time. Fill a garbage bag of stuff that you think needs to

leave your home and then place it in the trunk of your car, wait and see if the

child asks where something is in the bag, if not within like a month, toss it in

a dumpster. And just keep going until its cleaned out like you want it. I do

this with my 13 year old. She has asked for one thing in the past four years

and I looked her dead in the face and told her I threw it out a year ago. She

looked at me like " OMG!! " But I told her that I donated it to the Hannah Home

(not a lie) and she was like " fine... "

If you can move past the screaming and its only toys, not things like the

breadcrumbs, ( I tell her that bugs will crawl into her room and her OCD of bugs

is more severe than the OCD of hording things...) you have a shot of finding

something that the child can relate to in order to eventually push then past the

keeping everything...

Good Luck

Nila <nilanealy@...> wrote:

Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

would you have?

Thanks much!

Nila

BETTER HERE THAN PRIVIT DRIVE...

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Ben wanted to keep his old toothbrushes. I bought him a new one in his stocking.

He said it was special. We tossed it out quickly. I see some new ocd things

coming down the road, and wanted to nip this one away. He is now licking, ewww.

The hoarding thing could be an issue, any way to head it off?

J

How to " get rid of things "

Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

would you have?

Thanks much!

Nila

[Guest guest]

that's what we do here - just did a big cleaning out twice recently yo

donate to kids that don't have as much - yet hoarding isn't a biggie

here - so that makes it easier??? -

eileen

Quoting kidsnpets <kidsnpets@...>:

> we are working on that. 5 yo dd doesnt like to get rid of her stuff

> (toys, clothes, pictures, she is ok with crumbs and toenails -

> thankfully). every once in awhile we clean her room (she shares

> with 3 yo sister) and get rid of stuff. we talk about donating it

> to people who dont have as much as we do, and that usually gets her.

> she is so emotional and empathetic, she is willing to give to

> someone who needs it. otherwise we talk about needing to make room

> for new things.

> sharon

> How to " get rid of things "

>

>

> Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

> almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

> starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

> perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

> varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

> Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

> make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

> pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

> From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

> moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

> seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

> with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

> through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

> would you have?

>

> Thanks much!

>

> Nila

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/30/2006 11:50:44 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

siriuslives689@... writes:

I announce that their room is going to be cleaned and give them a week to

clean it out themselves. I specifically list what my expectations

are........................................................Something else I

have done is

while they are at school start packing things away a little at a time. Fill

a garbage bag of stuff that you think needs to leave your home and then

place it in the trunk of your car, wait and see if the child asks where

something

is in the bag, if not within like a month, toss it in a dumpster.

Nila

I like both these ideas. Hoarding isn't our problem (as far as OCD goes)

but I think this is a problem that many parents face with their kids. We've

packed BOXES of junk from our kids' rooms & stuffed it up in the attic. I

don't think I can recall a single item that has ever been asked for.

Eventually

99% of it gets tossed or donated.

Another way to do it is to, after much has been gotten rid of, give them a

reasonably sized box & tell them that if they have things that are truly

important " memories " (my daughter would use that argument a lot with us... " but

mommy, that's a memory " ) they can choose a limited number of items to be

packed away in the attic or basement. After all, even adults have sentimental

things they really don't want to get rid of. Eventually you do - but I bet we

all have some stuff that anyone else would classify as junk.

LT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/31/2006 9:41:04 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

kidsnpets@... writes:

I cant get my dd past the thought that it will hurt someone's feelings if

she gives away something they gave her.

Sharon -

Here's a thought on that..... would it be possible to get someone close to

her (whether someone in the family or just a neighbor or friend) who actually

gave her one of the items in question & have them explain to her that it's

perfectly OK to get rid of things that you either outgrow or don't use any more

& it won't hurt anyone's feelings - maybe explain to her that everyone does

this, it's expected & even they do it. Or even have it just come up in a

staged conversation in front of her - they could express total amazement,

saying

something like, " Oh my goodness -- do you STILL have that? You're a big

girl now, you should give that away to another child who's the right age for

that! " (or something like that...)

Sometimes it means more when it comes from someone other than a parent, you

know?

LT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/31/2006 9:41:04 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

kidsnpets@... writes:

I cant get my dd past the thought that it will hurt someone's feelings if

she gives away something they gave her.

Sharon -

Here's a thought on that..... would it be possible to get someone close to

her (whether someone in the family or just a neighbor or friend) who actually

gave her one of the items in question & have them explain to her that it's

perfectly OK to get rid of things that you either outgrow or don't use any more

& it won't hurt anyone's feelings - maybe explain to her that everyone does

this, it's expected & even they do it. Or even have it just come up in a

staged conversation in front of her - they could express total amazement,

saying

something like, " Oh my goodness -- do you STILL have that? You're a big

girl now, you should give that away to another child who's the right age for

that! " (or something like that...)

Sometimes it means more when it comes from someone other than a parent, you

know?

LT

[Guest guest]

I cant get my dd past the thought that it will hurt someone's feelings if she

gives away something they gave her. I keep telling her it is fine. I need to

do more of that with out her there.

Sharon

Re: How to " get rid of things "

I have actually been able to move beyond the hording stage. I was not able to

do it on the first try and I had to perfect my technique but I finally found one

that my hoarder would listen too.

I announce that their room is going to be cleaned and give them a week to

clean it out themselves. I specifically list what my expectations are. Usually I

point out that while the rattle is a valuable item, it has outlived its use in

our home. I tell specific things that I think needs to be rid of, i.e. toys that

we have not played with in a year, toys that have no parts because they have

been lost/broken...

I know that they will not clean the room, so I follow it up with, if you have

not cleaned it by the end of the week I will. When it comes time for me to get

into the room I clean house. No matter the kicking and screaming, hollering and

yelling. By this time frustration has set in with me and I am able to turn my

own water faucet on and tell them about the poor boys and girls that have no

toys at all and how its selfish not to give to people that are less fortunate. I

have improved my speech so much that now my hoarder " donates " items to the pile.

BUT I have to get teary eyed. Its not hard, I really do want to help the less

fortunate. When my kids see that I am upset they tend to not be so selfish and

tend to attempt to overcome the NEED to keep everything.

Something else I have done is while they are at school start packing things

away a little at a time. Fill a garbage bag of stuff that you think needs to

leave your home and then place it in the trunk of your car, wait and see if the

child asks where something is in the bag, if not within like a month, toss it in

a dumpster. And just keep going until its cleaned out like you want it. I do

this with my 13 year old. She has asked for one thing in the past four years and

I looked her dead in the face and told her I threw it out a year ago. She looked

at me like " OMG!! " But I told her that I donated it to the Hannah Home (not a

lie) and she was like " fine... "

If you can move past the screaming and its only toys, not things like the

breadcrumbs, ( I tell her that bugs will crawl into her room and her OCD of bugs

is more severe than the OCD of hording things...) you have a shot of finding

something that the child can relate to in order to eventually push then past the

keeping everything...

Good Luck

Nila <nilanealy@...> wrote:

Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

would you have?

Thanks much!

Nila

BETTER HERE THAN PRIVIT DRIVE...

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I worked on their room yesterday and did kind of the same thing. We made piles

to keep, piles to give away (smallest pile), and a pile to think about it.

Those were things I knew she wanted to give away, but couldnt. Eventually we

can get rid of those things, when she isnt thinking about it.

Sharon

Re: How to " get rid of things "

The way we did it was that we would put things in a " holding area. " We have a

storage area where sometimes things sat for years before she was ready to

part wit them. We usually progressed to the next step of give away or trash

whenever she went through a waning period. Good luck. Kim

In a message dated 12/30/2006 9:30:04 AM Central Standard Time,

nilanealy@... writes:

What advice

would you have?

[Guest guest]

Stop it before it begins. Find what works for him. For Abby it is emotions,

wanting to give things to people that dont have enough. That works for her, she

wants to help, she is very emotional. That has been my best luck in having her

get rid of things. Also, telling her we need to make room for new things.

Sharon

How to " get rid of things "

Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

would you have?

Thanks much!

Nila

[Guest guest]

Abby doesnt really hoard, she just doesnt want to hurt anyone's feelings by

giving items away they bought for her. I do better when she isnt helping. :0)

If I get rid of stuff she never wears/uses/plays with it, she RARELY asks for it

again.

Sharon

How to " get rid of things "

>

>

> Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

> almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

> starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

> perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

> varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

> Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

> make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

> pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

> From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

> moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

> seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

> with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

> through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

> would you have?

>

> Thanks much!

>

> Nila

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Abby doesnt really hoard, she just doesnt want to hurt anyone's feelings by

giving items away they bought for her. I do better when she isnt helping. :0)

If I get rid of stuff she never wears/uses/plays with it, she RARELY asks for it

again.

Sharon

How to " get rid of things "

>

>

> Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

> almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

> starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

> perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

> varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

> Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

> make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

> pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

> From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

> moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

> seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

> with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

> through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

> would you have?

>

> Thanks much!

>

> Nila

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL - I had the opposite here for a while - they'd say " we already

have this " or " " this isn't the one I wanted etc - so we had to discuss

not hurting people's feelings that way

good luck

eileen

Quoting kidsnpets <kidsnpets@...>:

> I cant get my dd past the thought that it will hurt someone's

> feelings if she gives away something they gave her. I keep telling

> her it is fine. I need to do more of that with out her there.

> Sharon

> Re: How to " get rid of things "

>

>

> I have actually been able to move beyond the hording stage. I was

> not able to do it on the first try and I had to perfect my technique

> but I finally found one that my hoarder would listen too.

>

> I announce that their room is going to be cleaned and give them a

> week to clean it out themselves. I specifically list what my

> expectations are. Usually I point out that while the rattle is a

> valuable item, it has outlived its use in our home. I tell specific

> things that I think needs to be rid of, i.e. toys that we have not

> played with in a year, toys that have no parts because they have

> been lost/broken...

>

> I know that they will not clean the room, so I follow it up with,

> if you have not cleaned it by the end of the week I will. When it

> comes time for me to get into the room I clean house. No matter the

> kicking and screaming, hollering and yelling. By this time

> frustration has set in with me and I am able to turn my own water

> faucet on and tell them about the poor boys and girls that have no

> toys at all and how its selfish not to give to people that are less

> fortunate. I have improved my speech so much that now my hoarder

> " donates " items to the pile. BUT I have to get teary eyed. Its not

> hard, I really do want to help the less fortunate. When my kids see

> that I am upset they tend to not be so selfish and tend to attempt

> to overcome the NEED to keep everything.

>

> Something else I have done is while they are at school start

> packing things away a little at a time. Fill a garbage bag of stuff

> that you think needs to leave your home and then place it in the

> trunk of your car, wait and see if the child asks where something is

> in the bag, if not within like a month, toss it in a dumpster. And

> just keep going until its cleaned out like you want it. I do this

> with my 13 year old. She has asked for one thing in the past four

> years and I looked her dead in the face and told her I threw it out

> a year ago. She looked at me like " OMG!! " But I told her that I

> donated it to the Hannah Home (not a lie) and she was like " fine... "

>

> If you can move past the screaming and its only toys, not things

> like the breadcrumbs, ( I tell her that bugs will crawl into her

> room and her OCD of bugs is more severe than the OCD of hording

> things...) you have a shot of finding something that the child can

> relate to in order to eventually push then past the keeping

> everything...

>

> Good Luck

>

> Nila <nilanealy@...> wrote:

> Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

> almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

> starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

> perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

> varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

> Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

> make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

> pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

> From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

> moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

> seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

> with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

> through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

> would you have?

>

> Thanks much!

>

> Nila

>

>

>

> BETTER HERE THAN PRIVIT DRIVE...

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hmmm, good idea! I think that might work. She thinks the world of my sister

and she gives her a lot of things. My sister always had a messy room as a kid,

doesnt now as an adult. I think I can talk to her before hand and make a

planned conversation. I think that just might do it! Thanks!

Sharon

Re: How to " get rid of things "

In a message dated 12/31/2006 9:41:04 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

kidsnpets@... writes:

I cant get my dd past the thought that it will hurt someone's feelings if

she gives away something they gave her.

Sharon -

Here's a thought on that..... would it be possible to get someone close to

her (whether someone in the family or just a neighbor or friend) who actually

gave her one of the items in question & have them explain to her that it's

perfectly OK to get rid of things that you either outgrow or don't use any

more

& it won't hurt anyone's feelings - maybe explain to her that everyone does

this, it's expected & even they do it. Or even have it just come up in a

staged conversation in front of her - they could express total amazement,

saying

something like, " Oh my goodness -- do you STILL have that? You're a big

girl now, you should give that away to another child who's the right age for

that! " (or something like that...)

Sometimes it means more when it comes from someone other than a parent, you

know?

LT

[Guest guest]

I think we have had that conversation too many times. At gift giving occasions,

we always talk about manners, so I think she is taking it to an extreme. Go

figure. LOL!

Sharon

Re: How to " get rid of things "

>

>

> I have actually been able to move beyond the hording stage. I was

> not able to do it on the first try and I had to perfect my technique

> but I finally found one that my hoarder would listen too.

>

> I announce that their room is going to be cleaned and give them a

> week to clean it out themselves. I specifically list what my

> expectations are. Usually I point out that while the rattle is a

> valuable item, it has outlived its use in our home. I tell specific

> things that I think needs to be rid of, i.e. toys that we have not

> played with in a year, toys that have no parts because they have

> been lost/broken...

>

> I know that they will not clean the room, so I follow it up with,

> if you have not cleaned it by the end of the week I will. When it

> comes time for me to get into the room I clean house. No matter the

> kicking and screaming, hollering and yelling. By this time

> frustration has set in with me and I am able to turn my own water

> faucet on and tell them about the poor boys and girls that have no

> toys at all and how its selfish not to give to people that are less

> fortunate. I have improved my speech so much that now my hoarder

> " donates " items to the pile. BUT I have to get teary eyed. Its not

> hard, I really do want to help the less fortunate. When my kids see

> that I am upset they tend to not be so selfish and tend to attempt

> to overcome the NEED to keep everything.

>

> Something else I have done is while they are at school start

> packing things away a little at a time. Fill a garbage bag of stuff

> that you think needs to leave your home and then place it in the

> trunk of your car, wait and see if the child asks where something is

> in the bag, if not within like a month, toss it in a dumpster. And

> just keep going until its cleaned out like you want it. I do this

> with my 13 year old. She has asked for one thing in the past four

> years and I looked her dead in the face and told her I threw it out

> a year ago. She looked at me like " OMG!! " But I told her that I

> donated it to the Hannah Home (not a lie) and she was like " fine... "

>

> If you can move past the screaming and its only toys, not things

> like the breadcrumbs, ( I tell her that bugs will crawl into her

> room and her OCD of bugs is more severe than the OCD of hording

> things...) you have a shot of finding something that the child can

> relate to in order to eventually push then past the keeping

> everything...

>

> Good Luck

>

> Nila <nilanealy@...> wrote:

> Hello all! First I'd like to make an introduction. My son (CN) is

> almost 9 and was diagnosed with OCD when he was 6, just days before

> starting 1st grade. His issues are, in general, contamination and

> perfection. And, we go through the ebbs and flows of the disorder with

> varying degrees of stress. CN hit his all time low about a month ago.

> Things have improved a lot over the last few weeks. But, the holidays

> make it so difficult! Any change is tough. Hoarding had became a new

> pronouced behavior in the bottom out. He could throw nothing away.

> From toenail clippings to food crumbs - it all stayed somewhere. We've

> moved past that. But, the little guy's room is going to burst at the

> seams if he doesn't get rid of some toys that he either doesn't play

> with or are just plain broken. Have any of you successfully moved

> through the trauma of thinning out the " belongings herd? " What advice

> would you have?

>

> Thanks much!

>

> Nila

>

>

>

> BETTER HERE THAN PRIVIT DRIVE...

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>