Re: explosive behavior when told No

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I don't tell Karac "no"; I.e. "we are going in September" I would show him September in the calendar and help him count the days. Etc.Sent from my iPadOn May 10, 2012, at 4:26 PM, "Mom" <ritzywright@...> wrote:

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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There is a long story behind this, and it is our fault; mine and dad's. He heard us planning the trip for Sept. My other son is coming in to join the family. Then Dad asked if he wanted to go to the beach or the mountains, so he said the beach. He became so excited that he wanted to talk about it with his speech therapist, so she put it on the calender. In the mean time Dad says if he really wants to go that bad to find a place for 2 or 3 days. So he put it on the calender. Once it is there, it is written in stone as far as he is concerned. Then today, Dad started saying we were going in Sept-17 weeks away and we could go to the mountains next month, so he exploded. After the big fight, he calmly takes a marker and marks through the beach and writes something else in the spot. Then Dad comes in and says if it is that important we can go for 2 or 3 days and how

he just can't take this anymore. I look at it like it is our fault. I told him 3 weeks ago, not to mention anything he wasn't ready to do. Now I think it would not be wise to mention it or to go and if he doesn't want to go to the mountains, we can stay at home until Sept. He may not even want to go then. He is a strong willed young man just like his Dad. What do you think? Have you ever dealt with a similar situation? If so, how did you handle it?

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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My son had a very hard time with no in every instance. we turned it into a joke and said "Oh my Nose" He could not stand it when we said no so No was never mentioned....even in front of my other child we said another word instead for her. ( he is much better now) Yes I agree count down the days. But we sometimes just go down for the day and then come back home at 7pm. Technically you are going down to the beach..just not for a long time. What about a social story? You write out what is going to happen. what if you just went down for the day or short weekend and made it seem like that was what you were talking about? try a different beach out...Would you be afraid he wouldn't handle even going down for the day? If that is out of the question then maybe talk about other plans...You son is confused but if you pow wow what is better to wait to go down in Sept. or see if going to a different beach for a day or so. How would he handle that? Hang in there!Jane autism From: ritzywright@...Date: Thu, 10 May 2012 15:43:42 -0700Subject: Re: explosive behavior when told "No"

There is a long story behind this, and it is our fault; mine and dad's. He heard us planning the trip for Sept. My other son is coming in to join the family. Then Dad asked if he wanted to go to the beach or the mountains, so he said the beach. He became so excited that he wanted to talk about it with his speech therapist, so she put it on the calender. In the mean time Dad says if he really wants to go that bad to find a place for 2 or 3 days. So he put it on the calender. Once it is there, it is written in stone as far as he is concerned. Then today, Dad started saying we were going in Sept-17 weeks away and we could go to the mountains next month, so he exploded. After the big fight, he calmly takes a marker and marks through the beach and writes something else in the spot. Then Dad comes in and says if it is that important we can go for 2 or 3 days and how

he just can't take this anymore. I look at it like it is our fault. I told him 3 weeks ago, not to mention anything he wasn't ready to do. Now I think it would not be wise to mention it or to go and if he doesn't want to go to the mountains, we can stay at home until Sept. He may not even want to go then. He is a strong willed young man just like his Dad. What do you think? Have you ever dealt with a similar situation? If so, how did you handle it?

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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I don't mention anything to Karac until it is time to go.Sent from my iPadOn May 10, 2012, at 5:43 PM, drissia wright <ritzywright@...> wrote:

There is a long story behind this, and it is our fault; mine and dad's. He heard us planning the trip for Sept. My other son is coming in to join the family. Then Dad asked if he wanted to go to the beach or the mountains, so he said the beach. He became so excited that he wanted to talk about it with his speech therapist, so she put it on the calender. In the mean time Dad says if he really wants to go that bad to find a place for 2 or 3 days. So he put it on the calender. Once it is there, it is written in stone as far as he is concerned. Then today, Dad started saying we were going in Sept-17 weeks away and we could go to the mountains next month, so he exploded. After the big fight, he calmly takes a marker and marks through the beach and writes something else in the spot. Then Dad comes in and says if it is that important we can go for 2 or 3 days and how

he just can't take this anymore. I look at it like it is our fault. I told him 3 weeks ago, not to mention anything he wasn't ready to do. Now I think it would not be wise to mention it or to go and if he doesn't want to go to the mountains, we can stay at home until Sept. He may not even want to go then. He is a strong willed young man just like his Dad. What do you think? Have you ever dealt with a similar situation? If so, how did you handle it?

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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Not sure. Any beach trip is from here is close to 5 hours. The problem is the money. The rental of a house is extreme, about $1000 for 3 nights. It is too far to drive and just come back the next day. I like the idea of a social story. Just don't know how to write one.

Thanks. I will give it some thought. Last night after the meltdown, he just walked over to the calender and scratched out beach on it, so I don't know what my next move should be.

Drissia

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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How about a public pool or a day trip to a water park or a picnic or sprinklers in the yard?  What is it your son loves about the beach?  NO is hard in our house too so I always offer an option

  " You cannot eat more pizza but we can use the computer or play tag.  You choose " On Fri, May 11, 2012 at 7:23 AM, drissia wright <ritzywright@...> wrote:

 

Not sure. Any beach trip is from here is close to 5 hours. The problem is the money. The rental of a house is extreme, about $1000 for 3 nights. It is too far to drive and just come back the next day. I like the idea of a social story. Just don't know how to write one.

 

Thanks. I will give it some thought. Last night after the meltdown, he just walked over to the calender and scratched out beach on it, so I don't know what my next move should be.

 

Drissia

 

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F

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I am sorry Drissia I didn't know you lived so far away from the beach. We live near Philadelphia....that's right this is a big listserv! I usually do a word document and explain in simple sentences and then make a table and put in boxes with a picture of home until its time to leave and on the day of travel put in a picture of you car or a PCS car and then he can see and cross off the amount of days til the beach trip. I realize this is a little long and may require many pages but it does get the point accross. autism From: ritzywright@...Date: Fri, 11 May 2012 05:23:38 -0700Subject: RE: explosive behavior when told "No"

Not sure. Any beach trip is from here is close to 5 hours. The problem is the money. The rental of a house is extreme, about $1000 for 3 nights. It is too far to drive and just come back the next day. I like the idea of a social story. Just don't know how to write one.

Thanks. I will give it some thought. Last night after the meltdown, he just walked over to the calender and scratched out beach on it, so I don't know what my next move should be.

Drissia

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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Dear Drissia, My name is Roopa and I have a 7 year old son with autism.My heart goes out to you in this situation.I truly wish I could help you in some way,but all I can do as a human being is to empathize with you and send you and your family healing thoughts and peace.I will definitely keep you in my prayers and you will see that it will all work out for you and you WILL have peace of mind.Only just BELIEVE!!! Take care.Roopa From: Kate Myers <katemyersny@...> autism Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 8:33 AM Subject: Re: explosive behavior when told "No"

How about a public pool or a day trip to a water park or a picnic or sprinklers in the yard? What is it your son loves about the beach? NO is hard in our house too so I always offer an option

"You cannot eat more pizza but we can use the computer or play tag. You choose"On Fri, May 11, 2012 at 7:23 AM, drissia wright <ritzywright@...> wrote:

Not sure. Any beach trip is from here is close to 5 hours. The problem is the money. The rental of a house is extreme, about $1000 for 3 nights. It is too far to drive and just come back the next day. I like the idea of a social story. Just don't know how to write one.

Thanks. I will give it some thought. Last night after the meltdown, he just walked over to the calender and scratched out beach on it, so I don't know what my next move should be.

Drissia

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F

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I think it is looking at the ocean or listening to the waves. When he was younger he would walk on the beach and throw back the seashells, but for the last few years, he wouldn't even go outside. He just looked at the ocean through the sunroom windows.

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F

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Have you tried on of those soothing sound machines that has the recorded sounds of the ocean?  Might be fun to hang a lot of beach and ocean posters in his room? Kate

On Fri, May 11, 2012 at 10:11 AM, drissia wright <ritzywright@...> wrote:

 

I think it is looking at the ocean or listening to the waves. When he was younger he would walk on the beach and throw back the seashells, but for the last few years, he wouldn't even go outside. He just looked at the ocean through the sunroom windows.

 

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V

773.698.8184 F

-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F

[Guest guest]

Ah! Never thought of that. Thanks.

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F

-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F

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It takes a village! KateOn Fri, May 11, 2012 at 10:26 AM, drissia wright <ritzywright@...> wrote:

 

Ah! Never thought of that. Thanks.

 

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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__,_._,__ 

-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F

-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V

773.698.8184 F

-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F

[Guest guest]

Also share the info with your son's school - they can reinforce that waiting is hard but September will arrive ad then to the beach. KateOn Fri, May 11, 2012 at 7:49 AM, jane rawlings <jane_rawlings@...> wrote:

 

I am sorry Drissia I didn't know you lived so far away from the beach.  We live near Philadelphia....that's right this is a big listserv!  I usually do a word document and explain in simple sentences and then make a table and put in boxes with a picture of home until its time to leave and on the day of travel put in a picture of you car or a PCS car and then he can see and cross off the amount of days til the beach trip.  I realize this is a little long and may require many pages but it does get the point accross. 

 autism From: ritzywright@...

Date: Fri, 11 May 2012 05:23:38 -0700Subject: RE: explosive behavior when told " No "

 

Not sure. Any beach trip is from here is close to 5 hours. The problem is the money. The rental of a house is extreme, about $1000 for 3 nights. It is too far to drive and just come back the next day. I like the idea of a social story. Just don't know how to write one.

 

Thanks. I will give it some thought. Last night after the meltdown, he just walked over to the calender and scratched out beach on it, so I don't know what my next move should be.

 

Drissia

 

How do you tell no. Is there explosive behavior with older boys? Is there a medication or a therapy or a supplement that can help with this. My son wants to go to the beach but we go in September and don't have the money to go twice. We have to get this situation under control or it will split the family up.

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-- Kate MyersTravel Desk773.904.8267 V773.698.8184 F