Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...> To: autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PM Subject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Kids with autism have a huge deficit in knowing how to act appropriately and find any attention, including punishments, to reinforce rather than stop behaviors. The best course is to put far more attention to the positive, to tip the balance towards what we want to see. From: michelle websterSent: 5/31/2012 11:48 AMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...> To: autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PM Subject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh! = Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Instead of punishment sentences or time out I have my son write sentences and say why he should not do what he did and what he should do next time. Sometimes if he has done something wrong I have him write a polite sorry letter if I can get him to be trully sorry. He really does not like to write and it makes him think about what he did. He just barely turned 7 so I have him sit by himself trying to write, then he ends up needing help for ideas so he really has to think about it. Because he is so young he has to write three sentences why not and what to do instead. He has written things like he could offer to carry things or pass things out at school for his teacher instead of talking. (he gets restless at school). On a different note I hate it when the teachers make him skip recesss or pe because my son really needs these. From: michelle webster <wmc3mlw@...> "autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 10:48 AM Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...> To: autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PM Subject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Stories are a great way to process and stay positive. Love the imagination it encouragesFrom: Evangeline Sent: 5/31/2012 12:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Instead of punishment sentences or time out I have my son write sentences and say why he should not do what he did and what he should do next time. Sometimes if he has done something wrong I have him write a polite sorry letter if I can get him to be trully sorry. He really does not like to write and it makes him think about what he did. He just barely turned 7 so I have him sit by himself trying to write, then he ends up needing help for ideas so he really has to think about it. Because he is so young he has to write three sentences why not and what to do instead. He has written things like he could offer to carry things or pass things out at school for his teacher instead of talking. (he gets restless at school). On a different note I hate it when the teachers make him skip recesss or pe because my son really needs these. From: michelle webster <wmc3mlw@...> "autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 10:48 AM Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...> To: autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PM Subject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh! = Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 I agree that rewarding the positive is the best way for a lot of our kids...I would target one behaviour ( situation) and do up a social story to help him cope. I would also try to ignore the negative and reward the positive as much as possible. I know this may sound unrealistic but believe me ...after an initial flare up period...it can work well for our kids. I tried this with Josh when he was screaming and got quite quick at finding that 2 seconds of “quiet voice†to reward and totally did not feed into the screams at all..no eye contact ...no reaction from me at all..It worked!! One good rule of thumb is to try for 4 positives for every 1 negative....Face it our kids will respond better to rewards than having something taken away or other more “traditional†styles od discipline. Hope this helps From: Somesheila 65 Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 3:57 PM autism Subject: RE: Behavior Help! Stories are a great way to process and stay positive. Love the imagination it encourages From: Evangeline Sent: 5/31/2012 12:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Instead of punishment sentences or time out I have my son write sentences and say why he should not do what he did and what he should do next time. Sometimes if he has done something wrong I have him write a polite sorry letter if I can get him to be trully sorry. He really does not like to write and it makes him think about what he did. He just barely turned 7 so I have him sit by himself trying to write, then he ends up needing help for ideas so he really has to think about it. Because he is so young he has to write three sentences why not and what to do instead. He has written things like he could offer to carry things or pass things out at school for his teacher instead of talking. (he gets restless at school). On a different note I hate it when the teachers make him skip recesss or pe because my son really needs these. From: michelle webster <wmc3mlw@...>"autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 10:48 AMSubject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...>autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PMSubject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh!= Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Plus they grow up. My Ben is now 13 going on 14, 200 # and taller than me. Sending a kid that size to his room when he doesn't want to go is impossible. From: marySent: 5/31/2012 1:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! I agree that rewarding the positive is the best way for a lot of our kids...I would target one behaviour ( situation) and do up a social story to help him cope. I would also try to ignore the negative and reward the positive as much as possible. I know this may sound unrealistic but believe me ...after an initial flare up period...it can work well for our kids. I tried this with Josh when he was screaming and got quite quick at finding that 2 seconds of “quiet voice†to reward and totally did not feed into the screams at all..no eye contact ...no reaction from me at all..It worked!! One good rule of thumb is to try for 4 positives for every 1 negative....Face it our kids will respond better to rewards than having something taken away or other more “traditional†styles od discipline. Hope this helps From: Somesheila 65 Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 3:57 PM autism Subject: RE: Behavior Help! Stories are a great way to process and stay positive. Love the imagination it encourages From: Evangeline Sent: 5/31/2012 12:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Instead of punishment sentences or time out I have my son write sentences and say why he should not do what he did and what he should do next time. Sometimes if he has done something wrong I have him write a polite sorry letter if I can get him to be trully sorry. He really does not like to write and it makes him think about what he did. He just barely turned 7 so I have him sit by himself trying to write, then he ends up needing help for ideas so he really has to think about it. Because he is so young he has to write three sentences why not and what to do instead. He has written things like he could offer to carry things or pass things out at school for his teacher instead of talking. (he gets restless at school). On a different note I hate it when the teachers make him skip recesss or pe because my son really needs these. From: michelle webster <wmc3mlw@...>"autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 10:48 AMSubject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...>autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PMSubject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh!= [The entire original message is not included.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Yes, it's good to "catch them" being good and reinforce it. Be on the look out for anything good to reward. Even if it's hard to spot, there's always something positive. That's what I tried to do as a teacher of special education. See my blog, Reward and Consent, on the ethics of behavior modification - of people with disabilities and of people with much power: http://rewardandconsent.blogspot.com and follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/RewardConsent. From: Pkuenstler <pkuenstler@...> "autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 3:56 PM Subject: Re: Behavior Help! That works with Karac too.Sent from my iPadOn May 31, 2012, at 2:31 PM, "mary" <mwhitehead@...> wrote: I agree that rewarding the positive is the best way for a lot of our kids...I would target one behaviour ( situation) and do up a social story to help him cope. I would also try to ignore the negative and reward the positive as much as possible. I know this may sound unrealistic but believe me ...after an initial flare up period...it can work well for our kids. I tried this with Josh when he was screaming and got quite quick at finding that 2 seconds of “quiet voice†to reward and totally did not feed into the screams at all..no eye contact ...no reaction from me at all..It worked!! One good rule of thumb is to try for 4 positives for every 1 negative....Face it our kids will respond better to rewards than having something taken away or other more “traditional†styles od discipline. Hope this helps From: Somesheila 65 Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 3:57 PM autism Subject: RE: Behavior Help! Stories are a great way to process and stay positive. Love the imagination it encourages From: Evangeline Sent: 5/31/2012 12:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Instead of punishment sentences or time out I have my son write sentences and say why he should not do what he did and what he should do next time. Sometimes if he has done something wrong I have him write a polite sorry letter if I can get him to be trully sorry. He really does not like to write and it makes him think about what he did. He just barely turned 7 so I have him sit by himself trying to write, then he ends up needing help for ideas so he really has to think about it. Because he is so young he has to write three sentences why not and what to do instead. He has written things like he could offer to carry things or pass things out at school for his teacher instead of talking. (he gets restless at school). On a different note I hate it when the teachers make him skip recesss or pe because my son really needs these. From: michelle webster <wmc3mlw@...>"autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 10:48 AMSubject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...>autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PMSubject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh!= Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 I know what you mean. Karac weighs 200 lbs. Too. Sent from my iPadOn May 31, 2012, at 2:41 PM, Somesheila 65 <somesheila65@...> wrote: Plus they grow up. My Ben is now 13 going on 14, 200 # and taller than me. Sending a kid that size to his room when he doesn't want to go is impossible. From: marySent: 5/31/2012 1:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! I agree that rewarding the positive is the best way for a lot of our kids...I would target one behaviour ( situation) and do up a social story to help him cope. I would also try to ignore the negative and reward the positive as much as possible. I know this may sound unrealistic but believe me ...after an initial flare up period...it can work well for our kids. I tried this with Josh when he was screaming and got quite quick at finding that 2 seconds of “quiet voice†to reward and totally did not feed into the screams at all..no eye contact ...no reaction from me at all..It worked!! One good rule of thumb is to try for 4 positives for every 1 negative....Face it our kids will respond better to rewards than having something taken away or other more “traditional†styles od discipline. Hope this helps From: Somesheila 65 Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 3:57 PM autism Subject: RE: Behavior Help! Stories are a great way to process and stay positive. Love the imagination it encourages From: Evangeline Sent: 5/31/2012 12:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Instead of punishment sentences or time out I have my son write sentences and say why he should not do what he did and what he should do next time. Sometimes if he has done something wrong I have him write a polite sorry letter if I can get him to be trully sorry. He really does not like to write and it makes him think about what he did. He just barely turned 7 so I have him sit by himself trying to write, then he ends up needing help for ideas so he really has to think about it. Because he is so young he has to write three sentences why not and what to do instead. He has written things like he could offer to carry things or pass things out at school for his teacher instead of talking. (he gets restless at school). On a different note I hate it when the teachers make him skip recesss or pe because my son really needs these. From: michelle webster <wmc3mlw@...>"autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 10:48 AMSubject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...>autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PMSubject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh!= [The entire original message is not included.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 That works with Karac too.Sent from my iPadOn May 31, 2012, at 2:31 PM, "mary" <mwhitehead@...> wrote: I agree that rewarding the positive is the best way for a lot of our kids...I would target one behaviour ( situation) and do up a social story to help him cope. I would also try to ignore the negative and reward the positive as much as possible. I know this may sound unrealistic but believe me ...after an initial flare up period...it can work well for our kids. I tried this with Josh when he was screaming and got quite quick at finding that 2 seconds of “quiet voice†to reward and totally did not feed into the screams at all..no eye contact ...no reaction from me at all..It worked!! One good rule of thumb is to try for 4 positives for every 1 negative....Face it our kids will respond better to rewards than having something taken away or other more “traditional†styles od discipline. Hope this helps From: Somesheila 65 Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 3:57 PM autism Subject: RE: Behavior Help! Stories are a great way to process and stay positive. Love the imagination it encourages From: Evangeline Sent: 5/31/2012 12:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Instead of punishment sentences or time out I have my son write sentences and say why he should not do what he did and what he should do next time. Sometimes if he has done something wrong I have him write a polite sorry letter if I can get him to be trully sorry. He really does not like to write and it makes him think about what he did. He just barely turned 7 so I have him sit by himself trying to write, then he ends up needing help for ideas so he really has to think about it. Because he is so young he has to write three sentences why not and what to do instead. He has written things like he could offer to carry things or pass things out at school for his teacher instead of talking. (he gets restless at school). On a different note I hate it when the teachers make him skip recesss or pe because my son really needs these. From: michelle webster <wmc3mlw@...>"autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 10:48 AMSubject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...>autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PMSubject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh!= Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 I hear ‘ya...Josh(19) and I are so intune that he can read my body language fairly well and knows when he is pushing his limits...lol...he towers over me but I can still squash most behaviors with “the lookâ€.....we worked forever on TOM and body language and now I can reap some rewards..LOL...good thing to..LOL From: Pkuenstler Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 4:55 PM autism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! I know what you mean. Karac weighs 200 lbs. Too. Sent from my iPad On May 31, 2012, at 2:41 PM, Somesheila 65 <somesheila65@...> wrote: Plus they grow up. My Ben is now 13 going on 14, 200 # and taller than me. Sending a kid that size to his room when he doesn't want to go is impossible. From: marySent: 5/31/2012 1:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! I agree that rewarding the positive is the best way for a lot of our kids...I would target one behaviour ( situation) and do up a social story to help him cope. I would also try to ignore the negative and reward the positive as much as possible. I know this may sound unrealistic but believe me ...after an initial flare up period...it can work well for our kids. I tried this with Josh when he was screaming and got quite quick at finding that 2 seconds of “quiet voice†to reward and totally did not feed into the screams at all..no eye contact ...no reaction from me at all..It worked!! One good rule of thumb is to try for 4 positives for every 1 negative....Face it our kids will respond better to rewards than having something taken away or other more “traditional†styles od discipline. Hope this helps From: Somesheila 65 Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 3:57 PM autism Subject: RE: Behavior Help! Stories are a great way to process and stay positive. Love the imagination it encourages From: Evangeline Sent: 5/31/2012 12:31 PMautism Subject: Re: Behavior Help! Instead of punishment sentences or time out I have my son write sentences and say why he should not do what he did and what he should do next time. Sometimes if he has done something wrong I have him write a polite sorry letter if I can get him to be trully sorry. He really does not like to write and it makes him think about what he did. He just barely turned 7 so I have him sit by himself trying to write, then he ends up needing help for ideas so he really has to think about it. Because he is so young he has to write three sentences why not and what to do instead. He has written things like he could offer to carry things or pass things out at school for his teacher instead of talking. (he gets restless at school). On a different note I hate it when the teachers make him skip recesss or pe because my son really needs these. From: michelle webster <wmc3mlw@...>"autism " <autism > Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 10:48 AMSubject: Re: Behavior Help! Can you start a reward chart so that he can earn privilleges such as movie night or a special treat? I find that sending my soon to his room so that he can not see what is going around with the other children has helped. I call it a cooling off period encourage him to read or look at a book or listen to some music while he is up there and begins to calm down. From: carol_jines <caroljines@...>autism Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2012 1:44 PMSubject: Behavior Help! I'm in need of some tips/advice. DS is 7 and has been displaying some unsavory behavior to say the least. I'm finding that punishments that worked before are no longer working. Time-outs do not phase him at all and usually while in a time-out he will spout off with foul language that would make a sailor blush. I've been taking away toys, games, TV time and activities but he really seems unaffected by all of this and thus this behavior continues. Any new ideas on punishments or ways to handle this would be greatly appreciated. We have the waiver program here in KY but I keep getting told there are no supports for behavior issues at this time, or that the one person available has an incredibly long waiting list. Ugh!= [The entire original message is not included.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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