Bad Year

[Guest guest]

Hi

at the beginning of the year Tom posted that he had a feeling it was

going to be a bad year. I know for me at least this is correct.

I try and be positive and see the things I am facing as challenges

and unfortunately they are things I don't have much choice about

facing.

One member of my family is very ill and also had to have a major

operation, they are slowly recovering now. Another member of my

family (not a very old member) is now dying, nothing much can be

done, apart from to prolong their life a bit. My son does not have a

sitter anymore, as first she had cancer and now a brain tumour :-(

I am not saying these things for a sympathy vote - I rarely speak

about such things on the board. I am saying them as this is what is

and also to illustrate that it is indeed a bad year and these are not

the only things, there are many other things I am facing too, but for

me to recount them all in one go I would find too overwhelming and

depressing.

The point of this post is - is anyone else having a bad year? Just

wondered, what challenges others are facing?

I can understand people finding it difficult to talk about some

challenges and difficulties, I know I do, but am making the effort in

the hope that perhaps others will be able to relate.

[Guest guest]

>

> " Friday I got fired from my job along with three other peeople. "

Fired without seeing it coming--that must have been a shock. I hope you

got severance pay or at least can get Unemployment compensation until

you find another job.

[Guest guest]

for all ppl with bad years and losses and troubles..

I'm sorry to hear it's so rough on you.. condolences and warming

protection..

and may light break through and chase all the shadows away

[Guest guest]

>

> " you're welcome , I felt a bit overwhelmed by all the misery

> everyone was going through.. and I thought I didn't want to add to

it,

> instead say something nice to relief a little, for as far as

possible.. "

I don't normally share my problems because it seems to add to the

negativity, and I don't like to bring people down, but up. Regarding

being overwhelmed, I wonder, do we Aspies get overwhelmed easier by

negativity and problems?

[Guest guest]

>

> " I still

> try to cling onto faith at such times though. "

That's what allows me to not get overwhelmed or overly unhappy.

>

> " There are still those who care, there is still good in the world

and

> it makes it all the more precious for all the bad and troubles. "

Yes, to be kind to others is critical right now.

>

> " Even the fact that some have found love warms my heart as it

reminds

> me it is possible - sometimes I doubt and wonder if it is for me

> though :-( but I am happy for those who have found it, precious it

is

> indeed. "

You never know. I never thought I'd find someone. And I think of

Barbara Streisand and others finding someone later in life.

>

> " I am sorry and saddened to read about yours and other's sorrows and

> difficulties - I sincerely hope that things improve for all of us. "

>

>Thank you. I am VERY grateful for what I have and also I feel I have

grown and learned a lot from my problems. I used to wish I could go

back and change things or be born in another family but now I am

thankful for who I am now and how I've turned out and what I've

learned and how it has helped me be strong, compassionate and

understanding of others, and has helped my faith grow strong. I feel

worse for someone who's had an easier life because I see how problems

that wouldn't be big to me are big to them and hard for them to deal

with.

[Guest guest]

The reason I posted about a 'bad year' is that I suspected many others

were having same. I wonder about suffering in silence - is it

beneficial or not?

I used to keep everything inside, but I also used to cut myself because

the pain inside hurt so much. Now I am more open, now I make the effort

to reach out. It is hard and painful, but I don't want to shut down

anymore - I am scared that if I shut down fully I would never come out

again and I have to be here for my son.

> >

> > " you're welcome , I felt a bit overwhelmed by all the misery

> > everyone was going through.. and I thought I didn't want to add to

> it,

> > instead say something nice to relief a little, for as far as

> possible.. "

>

> I don't normally share my problems because it seems to add to the

> negativity, and I don't like to bring people down, but up. Regarding

> being overwhelmed, I wonder, do we Aspies get overwhelmed easier by

> negativity and problems?

>

[Guest guest]

>

> " Are you Methodist? We have the same concept in my church, where

people can train to help if needed. We call them Ministers. "

Oh, okay, I just looked up Ministers. It's similar in my church

in that it's not trained counselers or professionals but lay people. In

our church it is the ministers or pastors (we call them Elders and

there are several, not just one as in most churches, and they are

unpaid) that do the counseling. If someone has a problem they go to

them and get bible-based counsel.

[Guest guest]

wrote: at the beginning of the year Tom posted that he had a

feeling it was going to be a bad year.

One never knows whats in store for a new year. We begin by hoping

things will be better than last year. These last few years have been

tough for me and things are not looking up yet. Each year seems to

get worse. There has been a few good things happen amongst the bad.

I recently lost my mom and my step dad, but I also reconnected with

my real father, whom I hadn't seen in 32 years. I'm so glad we are

able to communicate and see each other. He lives in BC and I live in

Ontario.

wrote: I know for me at least this is correct.

I try and be positive and see the things I am facing as challenges

and unfortunately they are things I don't have much choice about

facing.

I have always been a positive person, but it's getting harder each

year. I have a nack for getting myself into situations without

realizing the outcomes. We aspies can be so analytical about some

things and seem to not think enough about other things that are

important.

wrote: The point of this post is - is anyone else having a

bad year? Just wondered, what challenges others are facing?

This feels like the worst year yet, for me. I don't want to talk

negatively about it, need to keep positive or I will lose it.

wrote: I can understand people finding it difficult to talk

about some challenges and difficulties, I know I do, but am making

the effort in the hope that perhaps others will be able to relate.

I do find it difficult to talk about challenges, I'm only beginning

to realize my personal difficulties. I have tried to talk to other

non-aspie persons, but they only turn my ineffieciencies around and

make me feel more inadeguate. I think I'll stick to this place as my

safe haven. I may not speak to often, but I'm always here reading

and learning.

Di

[Guest guest]

mlledi1958 wrote:

>

>

> wrote: at the beginning of the year Tom posted that he had a

> feeling it was going to be a bad year.

>

Probably one of the worst things we can do is have an expectation that

things will get worse. We will then be on the lookout for bad things to

prove that we were correct.

For me, I started a new job last year, one I had my eye on for 7 years.

It has proven to be every bit as wonderful as I expected. I just keeps

getting better. There are other things this year that I could see as

worse but I see them as the turning point and the start to something

better. In an area where I have never been able to see the end of the

tunnel I can now see an end and I can put an actual date on it.

When this happens it will lift a load off my shoulders that has been

there for the past40 years.

Ace

[Guest guest]

mlledi1958 wrote:

>

>

> wrote: at the beginning of the year Tom posted that he had a

> feeling it was going to be a bad year.

>

Probably one of the worst things we can do is have an expectation that

things will get worse. We will then be on the lookout for bad things to

prove that we were correct.

For me, I started a new job last year, one I had my eye on for 7 years.

It has proven to be every bit as wonderful as I expected. I just keeps

getting better. There are other things this year that I could see as

worse but I see them as the turning point and the start to something

better. In an area where I have never been able to see the end of the

tunnel I can now see an end and I can put an actual date on it.

When this happens it will lift a load off my shoulders that has been

there for the past40 years.

Ace

[Guest guest]

<Probably one of the worst things we can do is have an expectation that> <things will get worse. We will then be on the lookout for bad things to> <prove that we were correct.> That makes sense. People do start looking in that negative direction and the focus gets pulverized. . <For me, I started a new job last year, one I had my eye on for 7 years>. <It has proven to be every bit as wonderful as I expected.> That's great news! What kind of job is it? <In an area where I have never been able to see the end of the ><tunnel I can now see an end and I can put an actual date on it.> <When this happens it will lift a load off my shoulders > Care to explain what area? acsnag@... wrote: mlledi1958 wrote:> > > wrote: at the beginning of the year Tom posted that he had a> feeling it was going to be a bad year.> Probably one of the worst things we can do is have an expectation that things will get worse. We will then be on the lookout for bad things to prove that we were correct.For me, I started a new job last year, one I had my eye on for 7 years. It has proven to be every bit as wonderful as I expected. I just keeps getting better. There are other things this year that I could see as worse but I see them as the turning point and the start to something better. In an area where I have never been able to see the end of the tunnel I can now see an end and I can put

an actual date on it.When this happens it will lift a load off my shoulders that has been there for the past40 years.Ace

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[Guest guest]

I am curious , what denomination are you? - is it Pentecostal

or Evangelical(sp?)? I know that some of those churches have pastors

and elders.

> >

> > " Are you Methodist? We have the same concept in my church, where

> people can train to help if needed. We call them Ministers. "

>

> Oh, okay, I just looked up Ministers. It's similar in my

church

> in that it's not trained counselers or professionals but lay

people. In

> our church it is the ministers or pastors (we call them Elders and

> there are several, not just one as in most churches, and they are

> unpaid) that do the counseling. If someone has a problem they go to

> them and get bible-based counsel.

>

[Guest guest]

>

> " I am curious , what denomination are you? "

I am a Jehovah's Witness.

[Guest guest]

> > >

> > > " you're welcome , I felt a bit overwhelmed by all the

misery

> > > everyone was going through.. and I thought I didn't want to add

to

> > it,

> > > instead say something nice to relief a little, for as far as

> > possible.. "

> >

> > I don't normally share my problems because it seems to add to the

> > negativity, and I don't like to bring people down, but up.

Regarding

> > being overwhelmed, I wonder, do we Aspies get overwhelmed easier

by

> > negativity and problems?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I don't have any particular denomination - I am Christian though and

believe in the Bible as Gods word (gosh am I'm going to get in

trouble for mentioning religion now? hope not :-) )

My mum studied with the Jehovah's Witnesses for a while and I did

some Bible study with them when I was younger - I could go on, but I

feel it perhaps not a good idea to discuss such on this board -

please feel free to email me though :-) I know you have offered that

I email you before, I am just bad at initiating things sometimes.

It does surprise me that you are Jehovah's Witness though and I would

love to ask you more questions on it - I am interested as always in

others faiths and beliefs.

> >

> > " I am curious , what denomination are you? "

>

> I am a Jehovah's Witness.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I am glad to hear things are going well for you and hope they

continue to do so and no I do not start of with expectations that

things will get worse, but I have to gaurd agaisnt the possiblility

they might.

I don't subscribe to either positive or negative thinking - I try not

to dwell on the negatives and I am not going to fool myself with

positives; what will be will be and I just see things as a challenge -

sometimes an annoying frustrating challenge, but most things can be

overcome to some extent and as ever I cling tentatively onto hope :-)

or maybe I really am going mad/insane :-)

at the beginning of the year Tom posted that he had a

> > feeling it was going to be a bad year.

> >

>

> Probably one of the worst things we can do is have an expectation

that

> things will get worse. We will then be on the lookout for bad

things to

> prove that we were correct.

>

> For me, I started a new job last year, one I had my eye on for 7

years.

> It has proven to be every bit as wonderful as I expected. I just

keeps

> getting better. There are other things this year that I could see

as

> worse but I see them as the turning point and the start to

something

> better. In an area where I have never been able to see the end of

the

> tunnel I can now see an end and I can put an actual date on it.

>

> When this happens it will lift a load off my shoulders that has

been

> there for the past40 years.

>

> Ace

>

[Guest guest]

" when I said 'overwhelmed' I didn't mean that negatively (just so

people don't feel like I meant to say it's bad to share or anything)

I meant it like trying to express what I feel at such a moment. That

there's so much pain, a feeling of helplesness, not being able to do

anything about suffering and there's so much of it. Also, I can't get

rid of my own, so how can I help others? "

Yes I realise that and often feel the way you have described above,

but I felt the need to clarify why I had originally posted what I

had. I suppose I am used to in RL having to justify and explain

myself to non-aspies - it does and can get frustrating :-(

In RL I am beginning to wonder who has the communication problem me

or the non aspies :-) sometimes I tell them something and it is like

they are not listening - I find it very frustrating - how can one

communicate with another that does not seem to hear - I don't get

this aspies are bad at communication rubbish - I think aspies just

have different styles of communication :-) My my, I am in a ranting

mood tonight (I blame the time of month) :-)

" I often want to cut myself off from reality.. do you mean that with

shutting down? "

Yes, but I believe there are varying degrees to it, I have to shut

down a bit every so often - I can't help it, but total shut down

would mean going deeper inside than ever before, giving in and not

coming out - it is at times very tempting.

" So please don't feel guilty for sharing or anything! "

Well you can see that at the moment I don't, but I may regret my

recent many posts later :-) but I doubt it. I do worry about

unitentionally offending people though - I just seem so good at it,

wonder what I would be like if I actually set out to intentionally

offend people :-) No I'm a good girl - really.

My I am now rapidly cycling into silly mode/mood, Mmmmm what the heck

is causing this, what have I eaten? Toast - nothing different there,

but am getting a bit peckish, think maybe brain short circuiting;

better do a re-boot :-)

" I think a little bit of extra wall would be very beneficial to me at

the moment...... "

I've done that in past and I needed it, thing is when I did want to

come out I had all these defenses I had built up around myself to get

past - it was difficult breaking through. Sometimes such defences are

needed though.

" ...including and especially the love-pain experience.. "

My heart hurts badly even thinking of such :-(

> > > >

> > > > " you're welcome , I felt a bit overwhelmed by all the

> misery

> > > > everyone was going through.. and I thought I didn't want to

add

> to

> > > it,

> > > > instead say something nice to relief a little, for as far as

> > > possible.. "

> > >

> > > I don't normally share my problems because it seems to add to

the

> > > negativity, and I don't like to bring people down, but up.

> Regarding

> > > being overwhelmed, I wonder, do we Aspies get overwhelmed

easier

> by

> > > negativity and problems?

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I've heard that Jehova's Witnesses have no fun. Is that true? mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...> wrote: >>"I am curious , what denomination are you?" I am a Jehovah's Witness.

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[Guest guest]

> >

> > " I am curious , what denomination are you? "

>

> I am a Jehovah's Witness.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Check the Links section for more FAM forums.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

" As I think you can see, is fun nearly 24/7. "

Thank you!

[Guest guest]

There's tons of rumours about Jehova's witnesses that sound a bit off. Skydiving doesn't sound like fun but, I wonder if that's an extreme sport. I used to skateboard some but, wouldn't have considered it an extreme sport although, it's in the X-games. Amen to no side effects! :-)mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...> wrote: LOL, that's often said about us. If by fun you mean taking drugs, overdrinking, promiscuity and extreme sports, then no we don't have fun! Otherwise, I have a lot of fun. Good, clean fun with no bad side effects. > >> >"I am curious , what denomination are you?" > > I am a Jehovah's Witness.> > > > > > > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. > > Check the Links section for more FAM forums. > > > >