Weird experience!

[Guest guest]

Last night Ray and I attended a couples party where there were about

10 or 12 couples, I was people watching (OK, ass, boob, and tummy's)

and comparing myself in my head to the other women there like I

always do......as a bunch of us were standing outside I looked at the

smallest women there and told Ray and a couple of others, " I can't

wait til I get to HER size, and they all cracked up!! "

Everyone looked at me like I was nuts and told me " honey, YOU are the

smallest woman at this party!! " , LOL, the woman I was drooling over

actually weighs 20 pounds MORE than I do! THAT was a weird

experience! My size 12 Lee shorts were baggy last night, and my 14's

are all going into my daughters closet! I have been stuck between 159

and 164 for several months but the inches are dropping even though

the scales are not moving! I am in a 36DD from a 38DD since last

month, lost 2 inches around the chest and back even though I weigh

the same and I had to punch new holes in my belts as well, another

few inches around the waist gone!

One of the conversations last night as well as at a " ladies night "

party last week, was societies reaction to large size women,

especially those in alternative lifestyles, and also how men feel

sexually about larger women......and as we were having these

discussions I kept getting strange looks from some of the women who

has not met me until recently (that " how the hell would YOU know

about being fat? " look) so I had to pull out my before, during and

after pics to show them, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, I KNOW THE FEELINGS!!

It opened up the conversation to RNY vs DS since one of the other

women just had a RNY and is losing weight really fast but she can

barely eat tiny little bits of food (AND she is stupidly drinking

tequila!), while I was munching enchiladas and everything else in

sight without a problem, and no one could believe I actually HAD

surgery til I showed the pics to prove it! I sat and explained the

differences between the RNY and the DS, and it just amazes me how

many STILL think that ALL weight loss surgeries are the same, and are

having the RNY because the $2000 fee is deterring them (in their

heads, if all WLS is the same, why pay $2000 for a DS when you can

have a RNY for free?)

I tried, I talked, I explained, I educated all I could, but damn it

amazes me that so many have called DR K, but passed because of the

fee and are in now waiting in the assembly line for RNY's in Fresno.

I am so blessed that I found not just Dr K and Dr Z, but that I was

able to find all of you who educated ME on the real truth about RNY

vs DS, and I also thank GOD for giving me the intelligence to see,

hear, and understand the difference in quality of life after DS! So

what if Ray had to borrow $2000 from his retirement for my program

fee, believe me, being able to eat those enchiladas, rice, shredded

beef and carrots, and the pasta salad as well as cake, and cookies

afterwards last night while watching someone else eat 5 tiny bites of

rice and leave early feeling sick, was worth every penny!!

I wonder when my brain will see that I am finally as small (Ray said

even smaller than) my daughter and I am smaller than all of our

friends....and I used to be the biggest one in the group all the

time! Totally boggles my mind sometimes! LOL, we have actually done

naked side by side pics with friends just so Ray can MAKE me see the

difference and that I AM smaller than I see myself!

OK all you longer term postops.......when does the brain realize the

body is smaller? or does it ever? do you still feel like the fattest

person in the room, when in reality you are the smallest?

LOL, when will my brain catch up with my body?

Cindee

Hanford

Heaviest weight 252

DS date 10/15/02

pre surgery weight 238

WAS size 26, 24, 2X-3X

today size 12 and shrinking,

158 lbs this morning, -80 lbs pretty much stuck on a three month

plateau but happy and thrilled and don't care if I lose another

pound!