Re: Sounding Off WAS: Adult Forum

[Guest guest]

Please Raven, nobody has put you on moderated status and I don't expect that

this will happen neither.

Your way of writing is very difficult to ignore, but I have managed since

you subscribed.

I value Inger and what she writes and how she writes very much. I value Tom

as well, for having made these forums.

I think you are trying always to be as consequent as possible with your own

values and that is interesting. But your tone can be very agressive.

And that is all I will say about it.

Lida

" I thought you asked for an end to discussing this

topic? Then you ought to not continue it yourself, and especially not

make nasty remarks about it where you again appear to think you are

telepathic and can determine the motives of other people ...

<snip> ... I also already KNOW who here is into it because they have

said so ages ago, so that was not my motive, and I doubt it was

Kajira's. At least we are open and at ease about our disposition, and

don't need to hide behind some mask of saintliness ... <snip> ... It's

all sorted out and water under the bridge - or was, until you had to

add your rude and unnecessary comments - which, unlike 's, ARE

judgemental and personally insulting. I expect an apology. "

RAVEN WRITES: Inger, you will undoubtedly put me on Moderated Status

after this post and to tell you the truth, I don't much care if you

do. What I have to say I feel I have to say.

I happen to agree with what Tom posted and I do not feel he is out of

line in the least. He ought not continue " it " ? For goodness,

Inger ... the posts don't stop from you and Kajira on the topic of

BDSM despite the many requests to tone it down, and then, to stop it!

Whether Tom is telepathic is a moot point. What he does see are other

posters who are not wanting the BDSM discussion to continue any

longer. I know for a fact that at least two people (myself and

another person with whom I speak regularly who posts to this forum)

have had it up to " here " with the discussion. Every time we think it's

over and done with and laid to rest, you or Kajira come back with more

allegedly 'for information purposes only' posts on the subject.

To use your word ... ENOUGH!

Your personal attack on Tom about his spirituality is vicious,

malicious and uncalled for! Perhaps you should have asked him -- as a

co-administrator -- how many people have contacted him and asked him

to have the BDSM discussion stopped, instead of making such nasty

assertions about someone who knows (and yes, I can say this as I have

read the posts in the Christian Aspie forum) he is human and apt to

make mistakes. Just because he strives to live a God-based life

doesn't mean he should be subjected to attacks on his morals and

ethics because they are different than your own.

As for your openness, I will undoubtedly get banned for this next

comment. I don't need to buy a ticket to see a strip show to know

what men and women look like in the buff. And if these strippers were

to come out onto the street and do a 'mini show' -- even if it was

late at night when the kids were safe and snug in their beds -- I

would NOT appreciate that 'candor' or the supposed 'for your

information only' display. At that point, what they do behind closed

doors that they insisted on displaying would be infringing on my

rights.

One person's rights end at the next person's nose, Inger. The

discussion on BDSM has gone past many people's noses. Many have tried

to overlook the continued discussion. Many have tried to ignore the

continued discussion. It's vulgar and it's inappropriate and I agree

with Tom when he says it stops now.

Nothing was resolved when Tom posted last night. Every time this

subject has appeared to be over and done with, either you or Kajira

come back in and post something as " for information purposes only. "

That's not putting an end to a subject. That's manipulating the

situation so you can get in a few more posts on the subject all the

while claiming that you're just informing people on a subject.

You certainly jumped all over me for a far less serious offence when

Lwaxy and I were posting, while letting Lwaxy off the hook pretty

easily. And what Lwaxy and I were posting was far less invasive than

what you and Kajira are posting to over and over and over again. At

least I stopped when you posted (assuming I had read your first post

to me to stop posting) " ENOUGH. " Lwaxy chose to do otherwise but you

let her posts through without such a reprimand.

You say that Tom's comments are " judgemental and personally insulting "

but you do not see that your ongoing comments as well as Kajira's

ongoing comments are judgemental and personally insulting to some of

the membership who also post to this forum? And you expect an apology

no less?

Do you and Kajira intend to apologize to those of us whom you have

insulted by judging for us what is enough in our minds and our

hearts? Do you and Kajira intend to apologize to those of us who have

stated publicly that they do not wish further discussion on the topic

of BDSM and sexual deviancy? No, you and Kajira haven't and you and

Kajira most likely will not (although there is always a first time for

everything).

So, Inger, you can put me on Moderated Status if my post angers in any

way. I really don't care. Moderate me to death for all I care

because I will still stand by what I had to say on this topic.

Moderate me to death because it matters to me that things be right in

the forums I post to and the forums I moderate. Moderate me to death

for standing with Tom on this and saying that enough is enough ... no

more 'innocent just to inform the people' posts on the subject of

sexual deviant behaviours.

And if you think my comments are negative ... well they ARE! If you

need a positive spin comment on the point I'm driving home, here it is:

TOO MUCH OF A 'GOOD' (and I use that term so very very very lightly)

THING WILL MAKE YOU SICK!

That's the end to my Saturday rant. See you in Moderated Status

people!

Raven

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Check the Links section for more FAM forums.

[Guest guest]

" ... <snip> ... But your tone can be very agressive. "

There's a world of difference between assertive and aggressive. I

don't need to be right (aggressive) but when I am right, I am most

definitely going to be assertive !

Raven

[Guest guest]

> RAVEN WRITES:

Inger, you will undoubtedly put me on Moderated Status

after this post and to tell you the truth, I don't much care if you

do. What I have to say I feel I have to say.

I would never put anyone on moderation for a dispute where I was one of the

parties.

> I happen to agree with what Tom posted and I do not feel he is out of

line in the least. He ought not continue " it " ? For goodness,

Inger ... the posts don't stop from you and Kajira on the topic of

BDSM despite the many requests to tone it down, and then, to stop it!

I did stop it the minute someone asked me to. Kajira only posted ONE post

about it. I also said Tom is free to remove my post if he deemed it

inappropriate.

> Whether Tom is telepathic is a moot point. What he does see are other

posters who are not wanting the BDSM discussion to continue any

longer. I know for a fact that at least two people (myself and

another person with whom I speak regularly who posts to this forum)

have had it up to " here " with the discussion. Every time we think it's

over and done with and laid to rest, you or Kajira come back with more

allegedly 'for information purposes only' posts on the subject.

I only replied to a direct question and Kajira posted one short comment. If

you or other members wished to not see it discussed at all, you should have

spoken up earlier. I am not a mind-reader, I only go by the information I

have been given.

> To use your word ... ENOUGH!

I said yesterday that I'll be happy to leave the subject and haven't said

anything more about it since, other than to assure that I didn't take

offence from his comment.

> Your personal attack on Tom about his spirituality is vicious, malicious

> and uncalled for!

My what? I have no clue what you're referring to here. I attacked his

*judgementalism* since it is getting on my nerves. He attacked US for no

reason when the discussion was over and all of us gone to bed, happy to

leave the subject behind.

> Perhaps you should have asked him -- as a co-administrator -- how many

> people have contacted him and asked him to have the BDSM discussion

> stopped,

I contacted him yesterday after I posted my ONE post to see if he thought it

was too much, and he said nothing about anyone contacting him.

> instead of making such nasty assertions about someone who knows (and yes,

> I can say this as I have

read the posts in the Christian Aspie forum) he is human and apt to make

mistakes.

Sure, he is human. That's my POINT. We are ALL humans.

> Just because he strives to live a God-based life doesn't mean he should be

> subjected to attacks on his morals and ethics because they are different

> than your own.

He is perfectly free to live his God-based life, but not to moralize over

how others live theirs. I belive the Bible said something about casting the

first stone...?

> As for your openness, I will undoubtedly get banned for this next

comment. I don't need to buy a ticket to see a strip show to know

what men and women look like in the buff. And if these strippers were

to come out onto the street and do a 'mini show' -- even if it was

late at night when the kids were safe and snug in their beds -- I

would NOT appreciate that 'candor' or the supposed 'for your

information only' display. At that point, what they do behind closed

doors that they insisted on displaying would be infringing on my

rights.

I only replied to a direct question, as I always try to do.

> One person's rights end at the next person's nose, Inger. The

discussion on BDSM has gone past many people's noses. Many have tried

to overlook the continued discussion. Many have tried to ignore the

continued discussion. It's vulgar and it's inappropriate and I agree

with Tom when he says it stops now.

Some days ago, I asked Tom for the rules regarding such topics. If I

remember correctly, I think he said it was ok if the language is kept clean

and with a disclaimer in the headline. I don't see that I have breached that

instruction. If the topic as such is prohibited on this forum, he should

have inormed us of it.

> Nothing was resolved when Tom posted last night. Every time this

subject has appeared to be over and done with, either you or Kajira

come back in and post something as " for information purposes only. "

That's not putting an end to a subject. That's manipulating the

situation so you can get in a few more posts on the subject all the

while claiming that you're just informing people on a subject.

We did not. I wrote one post. Kajira wrote one. You must have been reading

the same posts over and over.

> You certainly jumped all over me for a far less serious offence when

Lwaxy and I were posting, while letting Lwaxy off the hook pretty

easily. And what Lwaxy and I were posting was far less invasive than

what you and Kajira are posting to over and over and over again. At

least I stopped when you posted (assuming I had read your first post

to me to stop posting) " ENOUGH. " Lwaxy chose to do otherwise but you

let her posts through without such a reprimand.

Is that what this is about? I have publicly said I'm sorry for 'raising my

voice' at you after assuming that you had seen my first warning when you

hadn't. Before I could say anything more to either of you, Tom stepped in.

Lwaxy left in tears.

> You say that Tom's comments are " judgemental and personally insulting "

but you do not see that your ongoing comments as well as Kajira's

ongoing comments are judgemental and personally insulting to some of

the membership who also post to this forum? And you expect an apology

no less?

Yes, for attacking us needlessly when we have already quit talking about it

the minute someone raised an objection.

> Do you and Kajira intend to apologize to those of us whom you have

insulted by judging for us what is enough in our minds and our

hearts? Do you and Kajira intend to apologize to those of us who have

stated publicly that they do not wish further discussion on the topic

of BDSM and sexual deviancy? No, you and Kajira haven't and you and

Kajira most likely will not (although there is always a first time for

everything).

I will gladly apologize if I have caused discomfort to sensitive members who

may have been unable to resist reading posts marked as with warning

disclaimers.

>So, Inger, you can put me on Moderated Status if my post angers

in any way. I really don't care. Moderate me to death for all I care

because I will still stand by what I had to say on this topic.

Moderate me to death because it matters to me that things be right in

the forums I post to and the forums I moderate. Moderate me to death

for standing with Tom on this and saying that enough is enough ... no

more 'innocent just to inform the people' posts on the subject of

sexual deviant behaviours.

I would never put anyone on moderation out of anger. You have just as much

right to express your feelings as anyone else, and it's nice of you to come

to Tom's defence. But I personally think you are overreacting.

> And if you think my comments are negative ... well they ARE! If you

need a positive spin comment on the point I'm driving home, here it is:

> TOO MUCH OF A 'GOOD' (and I use that term so very very very lightly)

THING WILL MAKE YOU SICK!

> That's the end to my Saturday rant. See you in Moderated Status

people!

You will not be moderated, at least not by me.

I will leave this forum if my presence is not wanted.

Inger

[Guest guest]

This is turning into way too much of a heated debate - again (sigh)

and people are yet again being offended - both sides I hasten to add.

It is commendable to stand up for what one believes yes - but not to

ram it down someone elses throat - I guess it may be a fine line to

some.

Although I personally do not want to read stuff that I deem

personally disgusting and in my opinion should remain off the board,

there are other places for such; I also am aware to some extent that

there are times when certain conversations are needed (not just to

talk about one's personal preferences), but to have a safe enviroment

to be able to find out things, facts etc - I do not think I am

wording this correctly.

Put in a different way, there are a lot of things I am fairly naive

and ignorant when it comes to adult relationships and do need a safe

enviroment to find out things. It can be very hard for me in an adult

world not being aware of some things - I need to function in this

world and know how to remain safe whilst doing so - as do some others.

I do not mean putting on some sexual display - like the analogy of

nudists you used.

I believe we have to accept and be tolerant that there are a wide

range of beliefs on this topic and it is wrong to get at others for

thier preferences. When I say tollerant I do not mean it to be okay

to start having pornographic discussions on this board though - all I

mean is that others have differing view points that's all and I have

noticed how strongly people feel about their beliefs. Some are very

opinionated and leave no room for any others opinions.

Believe it or not in RL some think I am opinionated, but I have come

to accept that others will have opinions different from mine.

Personally I hope no-one gets moderated, unless there is good reason

for doing so and Raven I don't believe your post below is any reason

for moderation.

" I thought you asked for an end to discussing this

> topic? Then you ought to not continue it yourself, and especially

not

> make nasty remarks about it where you again appear to think you are

> telepathic and can determine the motives of other people ...

> <snip> ... I also already KNOW who here is into it because they

have

> said so ages ago, so that was not my motive, and I doubt it was

> Kajira's. At least we are open and at ease about our disposition,

and

> don't need to hide behind some mask of saintliness ... <snip> ...

It's

> all sorted out and water under the bridge - or was, until you had

to

> add your rude and unnecessary comments - which, unlike 's,

ARE

> judgemental and personally insulting. I expect an apology. "

>

> RAVEN WRITES: Inger, you will undoubtedly put me on Moderated

Status

> after this post and to tell you the truth, I don't much care if you

> do. What I have to say I feel I have to say.

>

> I happen to agree with what Tom posted and I do not feel he is out

of

> line in the least. He ought not continue " it " ? For goodness,

> Inger ... the posts don't stop from you and Kajira on the topic of

> BDSM despite the many requests to tone it down, and then, to stop

it!

>

> Whether Tom is telepathic is a moot point. What he does see are

other

> posters who are not wanting the BDSM discussion to continue any

> longer. I know for a fact that at least two people (myself and

> another person with whom I speak regularly who posts to this forum)

> have had it up to " here " with the discussion. Every time we think

it's

> over and done with and laid to rest, you or Kajira come back with

more

> allegedly 'for information purposes only' posts on the subject.

>

> To use your word ... ENOUGH!

>

> Your personal attack on Tom about his spirituality is vicious,

> malicious and uncalled for! Perhaps you should have asked him --

as a

> co-administrator -- how many people have contacted him and asked

him

> to have the BDSM discussion stopped, instead of making such nasty

> assertions about someone who knows (and yes, I can say this as I

have

> read the posts in the Christian Aspie forum) he is human and apt to

> make mistakes. Just because he strives to live a God-based life

> doesn't mean he should be subjected to attacks on his morals and

> ethics because they are different than your own.

>

> As for your openness, I will undoubtedly get banned for this next

> comment. I don't need to buy a ticket to see a strip show to know

> what men and women look like in the buff. And if these strippers

were

> to come out onto the street and do a 'mini show' -- even if it was

> late at night when the kids were safe and snug in their beds -- I

> would NOT appreciate that 'candor' or the supposed 'for your

> information only' display. At that point, what they do behind

closed

> doors that they insisted on displaying would be infringing on my

> rights.

>

> One person's rights end at the next person's nose, Inger. The

> discussion on BDSM has gone past many people's noses. Many have

tried

> to overlook the continued discussion. Many have tried to ignore

the

> continued discussion. It's vulgar and it's inappropriate and I

agree

> with Tom when he says it stops now.

>

> Nothing was resolved when Tom posted last night. Every time this

> subject has appeared to be over and done with, either you or Kajira

> come back in and post something as " for information purposes

only. "

> That's not putting an end to a subject. That's manipulating the

> situation so you can get in a few more posts on the subject all the

> while claiming that you're just informing people on a subject.

>

> You certainly jumped all over me for a far less serious offence

when

> Lwaxy and I were posting, while letting Lwaxy off the hook pretty

> easily. And what Lwaxy and I were posting was far less invasive

than

> what you and Kajira are posting to over and over and over again.

At

> least I stopped when you posted (assuming I had read your first

post

> to me to stop posting) " ENOUGH. " Lwaxy chose to do otherwise but

you

> let her posts through without such a reprimand.

>

> You say that Tom's comments are " judgemental and personally

insulting "

> but you do not see that your ongoing comments as well as Kajira's

> ongoing comments are judgemental and personally insulting to some

of

> the membership who also post to this forum? And you expect an

apology

> no less?

>

> Do you and Kajira intend to apologize to those of us whom you have

> insulted by judging for us what is enough in our minds and our

> hearts? Do you and Kajira intend to apologize to those of us who

have

> stated publicly that they do not wish further discussion on the

topic

> of BDSM and sexual deviancy? No, you and Kajira haven't and you

and

> Kajira most likely will not (although there is always a first time

for

> everything).

>

> So, Inger, you can put me on Moderated Status if my post angers in

any

> way. I really don't care. Moderate me to death for all I care

> because I will still stand by what I had to say on this topic.

> Moderate me to death because it matters to me that things be right

in

> the forums I post to and the forums I moderate. Moderate me to

death

> for standing with Tom on this and saying that enough is enough ...

no

> more 'innocent just to inform the people' posts on the subject of

> sexual deviant behaviours.

>

> And if you think my comments are negative ... well they ARE! If

you

> need a positive spin comment on the point I'm driving home, here it

is:

>

> TOO MUCH OF A 'GOOD' (and I use that term so very very very

lightly)

> THING WILL MAKE YOU SICK!

>

> That's the end to my Saturday rant. See you in Moderated Status

> people!

>

> Raven

>

[Guest guest]

You wrote exactly what I was thinking, thank you, (I'm trying

to catch up to posts sorry if I'm a bit slow).

Jill

" I thought you asked for an end to discussing this

> > topic? Then you ought to not continue it yourself, and especially

> not

> > make nasty remarks about it where you again appear to think you

are

> > telepathic and can determine the motives of other people ...

> > <snip> ... I also already KNOW who here is into it because they

> have

> > said so ages ago, so that was not my motive, and I doubt it was

> > Kajira's. At least we are open and at ease about our

disposition,

> and

> > don't need to hide behind some mask of saintliness ... <snip> ...

> It's

> > all sorted out and water under the bridge - or was, until you had

> to

> > add your rude and unnecessary comments - which, unlike 's,

> ARE

> > judgemental and personally insulting. I expect an apology. "

> >

> > RAVEN WRITES: Inger, you will undoubtedly put me on Moderated

> Status

> > after this post and to tell you the truth, I don't much care if

you

> > do. What I have to say I feel I have to say.

> >

> > I happen to agree with what Tom posted and I do not feel he is

out

> of

> > line in the least. He ought not continue " it " ? For goodness,

> > Inger ... the posts don't stop from you and Kajira on the topic

of

> > BDSM despite the many requests to tone it down, and then, to stop

> it!

> >

> > Whether Tom is telepathic is a moot point. What he does see are

> other

> > posters who are not wanting the BDSM discussion to continue any

> > longer. I know for a fact that at least two people (myself and

> > another person with whom I speak regularly who posts to this

forum)

> > have had it up to " here " with the discussion. Every time we think

> it's

> > over and done with and laid to rest, you or Kajira come back with

> more

> > allegedly 'for information purposes only' posts on the subject.

> >

> > To use your word ... ENOUGH!

> >

> > Your personal attack on Tom about his spirituality is vicious,

> > malicious and uncalled for! Perhaps you should have asked him --

> as a

> > co-administrator -- how many people have contacted him and asked

> him

> > to have the BDSM discussion stopped, instead of making such nasty

> > assertions about someone who knows (and yes, I can say this as I

> have

> > read the posts in the Christian Aspie forum) he is human and apt

to

> > make mistakes. Just because he strives to live a God-based life

> > doesn't mean he should be subjected to attacks on his morals and

> > ethics because they are different than your own.

> >

> > As for your openness, I will undoubtedly get banned for this next

> > comment. I don't need to buy a ticket to see a strip show to

know

> > what men and women look like in the buff. And if these strippers

> were

> > to come out onto the street and do a 'mini show' -- even if it

was

> > late at night when the kids were safe and snug in their beds -- I

> > would NOT appreciate that 'candor' or the supposed 'for your

> > information only' display. At that point, what they do behind

> closed

> > doors that they insisted on displaying would be infringing on my

> > rights.

> >

> > One person's rights end at the next person's nose, Inger. The

> > discussion on BDSM has gone past many people's noses. Many have

> tried

> > to overlook the continued discussion. Many have tried to ignore

> the

> > continued discussion. It's vulgar and it's inappropriate and I

> agree

> > with Tom when he says it stops now.

> >

> > Nothing was resolved when Tom posted last night. Every time this

> > subject has appeared to be over and done with, either you or

Kajira

> > come back in and post something as " for information purposes

> only. "

> > That's not putting an end to a subject. That's manipulating the

> > situation so you can get in a few more posts on the subject all

the

> > while claiming that you're just informing people on a subject.

> >

> > You certainly jumped all over me for a far less serious offence

> when

> > Lwaxy and I were posting, while letting Lwaxy off the hook pretty

> > easily. And what Lwaxy and I were posting was far less invasive

> than

> > what you and Kajira are posting to over and over and over again.

> At

> > least I stopped when you posted (assuming I had read your first

> post

> > to me to stop posting) " ENOUGH. " Lwaxy chose to do otherwise but

> you

> > let her posts through without such a reprimand.

> >

> > You say that Tom's comments are " judgemental and personally

> insulting "

> > but you do not see that your ongoing comments as well as Kajira's

> > ongoing comments are judgemental and personally insulting to some

> of

> > the membership who also post to this forum? And you expect an

> apology

> > no less?

> >

> > Do you and Kajira intend to apologize to those of us whom you

have

> > insulted by judging for us what is enough in our minds and our

> > hearts? Do you and Kajira intend to apologize to those of us who

> have

> > stated publicly that they do not wish further discussion on the

> topic

> > of BDSM and sexual deviancy? No, you and Kajira haven't and you

> and

> > Kajira most likely will not (although there is always a first

time

> for

> > everything).

> >

> > So, Inger, you can put me on Moderated Status if my post angers

in

> any

> > way. I really don't care. Moderate me to death for all I care

> > because I will still stand by what I had to say on this topic.

> > Moderate me to death because it matters to me that things be

right

> in

> > the forums I post to and the forums I moderate. Moderate me to

> death

> > for standing with Tom on this and saying that enough is

enough ...

> no

> > more 'innocent just to inform the people' posts on the subject of

> > sexual deviant behaviours.

> >

> > And if you think my comments are negative ... well they ARE! If

> you

> > need a positive spin comment on the point I'm driving home, here

it

> is:

> >

> > TOO MUCH OF A 'GOOD' (and I use that term so very very very

> lightly)

> > THING WILL MAKE YOU SICK!

> >

> > That's the end to my Saturday rant. See you in Moderated Status

> > people!

> >

> > Raven

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I must admit Raven although it has you say is assertion you do

sometimes come across as agressive - I think maybe this is where

there are mix ups.

You may say that there is a world of difference between assertion and

agression, but sometimes assertion can come across agressively.

Sometimes can come across rather badly and yet when he

further explains what he means he is not that bad - even I have

trouble with wording and try to be very careful with it and even then

misunderstandings can happen, as I know only too well.

" ... <snip> ... But your tone can be very agressive. "

>

> There's a world of difference between assertive and aggressive. I

> don't need to be right (aggressive) but when I am right, I am most

> definitely going to be assertive !

>

> Raven

>

[Guest guest]

I have a theory about this topic. The result of the theory would be

that everyone just sort of made peace and got along furthermore.

The theory itself brings up psychopathologies which may or may not be

appropriate.

HINT

" ... <snip> ... But your tone can be very agressive. "

> >

> > There's a world of difference between assertive and aggressive. I

> > don't need to be right (aggressive) but when I am right, I am most

> > definitely going to be assertive !

> >

> > Raven

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I happen to agree with you, but suspect it is rather idealistic and in

reality people are going to disagree - to me that's just how it is -

ain't nice, but it's life.

'Aways look on the bright side of life......' sorry broken into Monty

Python there :-)

>

> I have a theory about this topic. The result of the theory would be

> that everyone just sort of made peace and got along furthermore.

>

> The theory itself brings up psychopathologies which may or may not be

> appropriate.

>

> HINT

[Guest guest]

I happen to agree with you, but suspect it is rather idealistic and in

reality people are going to disagree - to me that's just how it is -

ain't nice, but it's life.

'Aways look on the bright side of life......' sorry broken into Monty

Python there :-)

>

> I have a theory about this topic. The result of the theory would be

> that everyone just sort of made peace and got along furthermore.

>

> The theory itself brings up psychopathologies which may or may not be

> appropriate.

>

> HINT

[Guest guest]

Getting along happens when people disagree as well.

> >

> > I have a theory about this topic. The result of the theory would be

> > that everyone just sort of made peace and got along furthermore.

> >

> > The theory itself brings up psychopathologies which may or may not be

> > appropriate.

> >

> > HINT

>

[Guest guest]

Only if it can be resolved and it is always good and nice when it is,

preferably without people leaving or going on moderation.

One solution is of course to agree to disagree :-)

> > >

> > > I have a theory about this topic. The result of the theory

would be

> > > that everyone just sort of made peace and got along furthermore.

> > >

> > > The theory itself brings up psychopathologies which may or may

not be

> > > appropriate.

> > >

> > > HINT

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I understand that - I just think sometimes some people get the wrong

end of the stick so to speak - I generally ask for clarification to

make sure I am understanding what a person is trying to convey.

>

>

> In a message dated 3/25/2006 2:35:40 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> julie.stevenson16@... writes:

>

> Sometimes can come across rather badly and yet when he

> further explains what he means he is not that bad - even I have

> trouble with wording and try to be very careful with it and even

then

> misunderstandings can happen, as I know only too well.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> This is because of another Aspie trait, that being that some think

everyone

> knows the same things we know. If I don't remember to correct for

this, I

> sometimes make statements that are clear to me, but others might

not have the

> knowledge base to understand what I mean.

>

> Another reason is trying to be brief. When I was younger I would

write very

> long detailed passages. Lots of people complained about my

longwindedness, so

> I started writing more conscisely.

>

> Lastly, I have always been a bit terse. Most of the time I remember

to tone

> that down a little bit, but sometimes I don't and other times I

don't bother.

> Usually this will come in the form of sarcasm, especially if

pointing out a

> flaw in a person's logic, particularly if it is glaring and they

have been

> baiting me.

>

> Usually I don't mean any offense. Like I have told many people in

the past,

> if I mean to be offensive, you'll know it and I'll tell you so if

you aren't

> sure. But most of the time you can bet I don't mean to give

offense, just that

> my wording sometimes is rather blunt.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Raven speaks.

Whether what she says is interpreted as assertive or aggressive

depends on the listener. Certain

Certainly word choice and tone can influence perception, and

aggression can be the intent, but I think in her case it WAS

assertion.

Tom

Administrator

" ... <snip> ... But your tone can be very agressive. "

>

> There's a world of difference between assertive and aggressive. I

> don't need to be right (aggressive) but when I am right, I am most

> definitely going to be assertive !

>

> Raven

>