Re: Disrespectful ? WAS: Playboy

[Guest guest]

Raven,

I don't understand the animosity here. You didn't know the girl or see her, how she dressed or acted. She was very flirtatious to get what she wanted, such as for guys to do her homework for her or help her cheat on tests. One outfit that was typical for her: skintight pink leotards (whatever you call those things that fit like pantyhose but are a bit more like outwear) that left very little to the imagination, matching low-cut pink top, lacy white bra, smallish pink jacket and pink sunglasses with the lenses shaped like hearts. That was one of the more explicit outfits she wore, but everything was always tight and revealing.

I also personally overheard her conversations with the other girls. She herself said that what she most looked for was the bank account and defended this stance when one of the girls was aghast at that. I also heard her say that she would even put up with an abusive boyfriend as long as he had a fine car for her to be seen in and he gave her lots of money.

In addition, I also saw her manipulate lots of guys, including my friend. She had not studied for a test that day, so she sat down beside him on the bench outside class and asked for help. Initially he hesitated but she put her arm around him and gave him a pouty yet sultry look and he helped her review. Her arm stayed around him until they were done. I saw her do the same to other guys and one fellow once pulled some papers from his notebook and handed it to her in class. She turned that paper, one typewritten on computer, in as her own.

Now, based on all this observation, if she was not as she was presenting, then she needed to change her presentation in a hurry because people certainly were getting the wrong idea about her.

As for how she felt, I neither know nor care. I do know, however, how she dealt with rejection. She came after me to help her cheat on a test since I sat next to her and I refused. I caught her trying during the test and covered my work. She did not do well on her test. So, she went around spreading a rumor that I was gay. I know it was her because my friend, who was more social than I, traced it back to her. So, because I didn't help her cheat and betray my ethics, she smeared my character in a nasty way. This was standard for her, but that was mostly directed at girls since few guys turned her down. If she were offended by said rumor if it reached her, then good. As you said, turn about is fair play.

[Guest guest]

There is of course another side to this; asking such a question could

cause offense. I personally would find it funny if there was someone

in Playboy that looked like me, but not everyone would be like that.

I quite often ask if I don't know and that sometimes gets me in

trouble, sometimes it feels as if I cannot win no matter what I do. I

am true to myself however, but not everyone likes that :-) I think I

tend to try peoples patiences sometimes.

>

> > What you don't read it for the articles? I don't care for it

either

> because

> > all the women look basically the same with just different faces.

A

> few years

> > ago I did buy an Asian edition one because there was a girl in

it

> that I swear

> > was in one of my college classes, and several other people

agree,

> though of

> > course none of us had the guts to ask if it was really her.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/11/2006 6:40:38 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes:

I do see your point of view. I've kind of got used to people talking behind my back and painting me blacker than black. I think that people talk behind one anothers backs far often than we may think.For instance if someone is concerned about me they may ask someone else, or if I am concerned about someone or something I may ask someone else - I do not believe that is malicous rumours - but in the original example it could well have been so.As for someone asking me if I've posed nude in playboy I would laugh say no and ask them why they asked or if they thought I should :-)

Normally I don't bother with gossip, though I often hear it from the neighbors. In the case of this particular girl, well, if she was in a magazine she could hardly have any expectation of privacy and she more than likely was not ashamed of it. She certainly could have been though.

I've been the target of rumors much worse than posing nude in a magazine, though I sincerely doubt that would ever crop up or be believed.

[Guest guest]

What would cause more offence -- someone actually asking you if you

posed nude in " Playboy " and being able to put the rumour to rest one

way or another, or having a number of unknown people whispering

about you behind your back so that your reputation would be unfairly

coloured?

Being the victim of such viciousness, I can tell you I would rather

be insulted with the question so I could set the record straight

than find out later on that a group of people who knew me were busy

thinking enough about me to grow a rumour but they didn't think

enough of me to actually come right out and ask me.

Where's the integrity in rumour mongering?

Raven

> >

> > > What you don't read it for the articles? I don't care for it

> either

> > because

> > > all the women look basically the same with just different

faces.

> A

> > few years

> > > ago I did buy an Asian edition one because there was a girl

in

> it

> > that I swear

> > > was in one of my college classes, and several other people

> agree,

> > though of

> > > course none of us had the guts to ask if it was really her.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/11/2006 7:08:46 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, ravenmagic2003@... writes:

The question to ask before passing anything along is ... how will this benefit my fellow human?There is great loss and no benefit to spreading and feeding a rumour such as the one in 's example.Raven

Again I fail to see the animosity. My only part in the matter was to acquire a magazine that may have had the girl in question in it and compared the pictures with my friend, the one I heard the rumor from. As I see it, it was Aspie desire to find the truth, at least in this case as far as it would go.

I myself was not going to ask because I was already on her bad list and likely would have been told no even if she had been in it, and probably been slapped to boot. My friend could have asked, but he was obviously well below her monetary expectations. It is possible someone else out there asked her, but I wouldn't know since I had all of two friends (not counting faculty) and none of them were even close to her circle.

These days I might have asked if she had done any modelling, but at that time I was still quite unsocial.

[Guest guest]

" With an attitude like that, posing nude, or being

mistaken for someone who had, would be the least of her problems. "

I would think that a little kindness and compassion -- and taking

the high road -- would be more important than slamming someone -- or

allowing them to be slammed -- just because your unfounded

preconceived notions and negative projections were the 'easy way' to

deal with things.

Ask yourself this: Did you go along with the rumour because it was

good to fit in with the herd?

Raven

[Guest guest]

I do see your point of view. I've kind of got used to people talking

behind my back and painting me blacker than black. I think that

people talk behind one anothers backs far often than we may think.

For instance if someone is concerned about me they may ask someone

else, or if I am concerned about someone or something I may ask

someone else - I do not believe that is malicous rumours - but in the

original example it could well have been so.

As for someone asking me if I've posed nude in playboy I would laugh

say no and ask them why they asked or if they thought I should :-)

> > >

> > > > What you don't read it for the articles? I don't care for it

> > either

> > > because

> > > > all the women look basically the same with just different

> faces.

> > A

> > > few years

> > > > ago I did buy an Asian edition one because there was a girl

> in

> > it

> > > that I swear

> > > > was in one of my college classes, and several other people

> > agree,

> > > though of

> > > > course none of us had the guts to ask if it was really her.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

The question to ask before passing anything along is ... how will

this benefit my fellow human?

There is great loss and no benefit to spreading and feeding a rumour

such as the one in 's example.

Raven

>

> I do see your point of view. I've kind of got used to people

talking

> behind my back and painting me blacker than black. I think that

> people talk behind one anothers backs far often than we may think.

>

> For instance if someone is concerned about me they may ask someone

> else, or if I am concerned about someone or something I may ask

> someone else - I do not believe that is malicous rumours - but in

the

> original example it could well have been so.

>

> As for someone asking me if I've posed nude in playboy I would

laugh

> say no and ask them why they asked or if they thought I should :-)

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/12/2006 12:03:45 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, ravenmagic2003@... writes:

There's no animosity, . I just don't understand how two wrongs according to you can make anything right.Raven

I didn't say two wrongs made a right. The rumor did not spread beyond me, this being the first time I have even mentioned it in years. So, it reached me and stopped. I simply did not care if the rumor reached her or if it bothered her. Besides, if that was not her and there is another woman with such an amazing similarity to her, she will be having to face this question again and again. For that matter, if it was her, then if such rumors do get started, then she has no one to blame but herself for posing.

At any rate, there were worse stories about her floating around than that based on her personality. As to what those were, I don't know, nor was I particularly interested. My friend told me in passing that is was speculation about boyfriends and things like that. He didn't provide any details nor did I ask. She was nothing but trouble as far as I was concerned, so the less I had to do with her the better. Well, aside from the odd glance now and then because like I said, she was beautiful.

[Guest guest]

" I don't understand the animosity here. "

There's no animosity, . I just don't understand how two wrongs

according to you can make anything right.

Raven

[Guest guest]

" I've been the target of rumors much worse than

posing nude in a magazine, though I sincerely doubt that would ever

crop up or be believed. "

You don't know if the rumours about you impacted you harder than the

rumour about her would have impacted on her.

I still say it's a terribly unfair thing to do -- start, spread or

feed a rumour -- to a fellow human being.

Raven

[Guest guest]

" These days I might have asked if she had done any

modelling, but at that time I was still quite unsocial. "

Perhaps you would have had an answer, but it may not have been the

correct answer either. Rather than skew the answer by asking

questions with veiled agendas, asking direct questions -- no matter

how hard they may seem to you -- will yield direct answers.

Again, there is no animosity. My reason for taking you to task is

because innuendo, assumptions, conjecture, stereotypes and more

paint people ugly who do not deserve to be painted ugly.

Sometimes all those innuendos, assumptions, conjectures, stereotypes

and more drive people to commit suicide ... sometimes those people

are little children. :-(

Raven

[Guest guest]

" I didn't say two wrongs made a right. The rumor did

not spread beyond me, this being the first time I have even mentioned

it in years. So, it reached me and stopped. "

But it didn't stop, did it? Please take the time to read the

Niemöller quote I posted. Maybe then you'll understand what I'm

trying to say about this situation.

Raven

[Guest guest]

I am simply too tired to get in the middle of this, except to say

, that Raven isn't going at you with any animosity.

And Raven, I think gets your point even if he may not

necessarily agree with it.

Tom

Administrator

P.S. At least the forum slowed down during this little exchange.

Tom

" I didn't say two wrongs made a right. The rumor did

not spread beyond me, this being the first time I have even mentioned

it in years. So, it reached me and stopped. "

But it didn't stop, did it? Please take the time to read the

Niemöller quote I posted. Maybe then you'll understand what I'm

trying to say about this situation.

Raven

[Guest guest]

I feel a little hesitant to reply to this, but I am going to do so. I

can actually see both sides to this arguement to some extent.

For example I do have a female friend and I am appalled at the way

she treats guys - she knows this as I have told her.

I don't think she is as bad as the female described - just

different. Anyway this female friend of mine I know that she is

incredibly insecure and has many difficulties, but one would only

know that if one gets to truly know her.

She comes across as extremely confident, will flirt with any man -

will also use men to get what she wants (she has admitted so), she

has also said she can get any man she wants and she truly believes

that.

From an outside point of view she will probably have very black

picture painted of her - I know her well enough to know her

difficulties and that she hides behind this projected confidence that

most are fooled by. She is no gold digger though - although some

might see her as such - she is a very independent strong woman, but

still feels the need for a man, but therien is the conflict as she

also finds relationships very difficult.

From knowing this friend for a very long time (since childhood) I

know her more than those who just see the surface. She does not have

many female friends - one reason being she tends to flirt with female

friends partners and might possibly even take it further. Even I

myself had trouble with her when my marriage was breaking down and I

asked her to stop flirting with my husband - she would not and said

that was how she was - I accepted that and plus it takes two to

tango, i.e husband could have remained faithful.

" This is very much tied to my dislike of the answer, " Probably. "

Either something is one way or it's another. "

I'm not sure - things aren't always black and white the way I view

them (although strangely I have been accused of black and white

thinking), but sometimes things are not that straight forward

sometimes there are shades of grey.

" ...asking direct questions -- no matter how hard they may seem to

you -- will yield direct answers. "

I have not found that to be the case.

I have often asked direct questions, but not got direct answers.

Sometimes I wonder if my direct questions that do not get direct

answers are uncomfortable to the other - I can only speculate, maybe

it is hard for them to answer? Maybe the answer is not straight

forward.

I myself sometimes find it hard to answer if the answer is not a

straight forward one. I have trouble with wording if the answer is

not a straight forward yes or no - sometimes it is dependent on

situation or other factors and because of my strong dislike of lying

I feel the need to elaborate and end up waffling on - it is not to

avoid the question, but to clarify, unfortunately processing

promblems and stress interfer with this process often.

Some of this may seem irrelevant to the original post - but not

completely - asking a direct question will not always yeild a direct

answer and even if it does - how does one know if it is the truth or

not?

Also concerning rumours - I personally hate them and tend to make up

my own mind about people - however it doesn't stop people telling me

things about other people. Even when I ask people, tell them I am not

interested in knowing - it is like they cannot stop themselves and

then they tend to get angry with me because I refuse to buy into it

and prefer to find out things for myself - it is back to the I cannot

win situation.

" These days I might have asked if she had done any

> modelling, but at that time I was still quite unsocial. "

>

> Perhaps you would have had an answer, but it may not have been the

> correct answer either. Rather than skew the answer by asking

> questions with veiled agendas, asking direct questions -- no matter

> how hard they may seem to you -- will yield direct answers.

>

> Again, there is no animosity. My reason for taking you to task is

> because innuendo, assumptions, conjecture, stereotypes and more

> paint people ugly who do not deserve to be painted ugly.

>

> Sometimes all those innuendos, assumptions, conjectures,

stereotypes

> and more drive people to commit suicide ... sometimes those people

> are little children. :-(

>

> Raven

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/12/2006 7:31:08 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes:

I don't think she is as bad as the female described - just different. Anyway this female friend of mine I know that she is incredibly insecure and has many difficulties, but one would only know that if one gets to truly know her.She comes across as extremely confident, will flirt with any man - will also use men to get what she wants (she has admitted so), she has also said she can get any man she wants and she truly believes that.

This kind of woman used to be called a vamp, short for vampire. It describes a woman who will use her sex appeal and guile to get what she wants from men. They are also cold-hearted and very self-centered. I've not heard this term used in a long time, but the archetype still exists and I have seen then.

Male versions exist too, I would guess the gigolo, would be one variant of it. You see them now and then, usually temporarily attached to some Hollywood starlet or sometimes in the crime shows as men who courted a rich woman and took her money.

From my analysis, the girl in question was one based on her own words and actions. She made no effort to present herself in any other fashion in word or deed. I heard rumors, but only was involved with the one. Much worse was going around involving other people.

Anyway, this is the last I'll be saying on this matter. I thought the post would be taken in a humorous light, but I was wrong. Perhaps I should have mentioned the other girl who was in a magazine and was proud of it.

[Guest guest]

I too tend to make up my own mind about people and don't care much about

gossip one way or the other.

Did anyone see that great film about rumours and the harm they can do, with

a great twist at the end? It sure gave food for thought!

I tend to mainly talk about other people (in private, with a trusted friend)

in order to better understand how they function. Occasionally to vent or

sort out my personal feelings about someone if they have been giving me

trouble, but when I do, my friend usually turns it around and ask what *I*

am doing to contribute to the situation, and encourages me to talk about my

own feelings rather than about what the other person did or did not do.

(IMO, that's being a very good friend!)

In public, I would only talk ill of public figures that IMO seem to have

questionable motives for their actions, but would not make up a rumour just

because I disliked them; only forward info that I found credible or give my

own personal impression of them (if the topic happens to come up for

discussion). I still leave it open to others to make up their own mind about

them and don't particularly like talking about people I don't like. I prefer

talking about those I do like, and to focus on people's positive sides. :-)

In school, there was one girl whose parents were from Austria who was a bit

of a tomboy and oddball. I had gotten to know her a bit since I had a crush

on her brother, and been invited to her home a couple of times. One day, the

other girls in my class started talking about her and how " rude " she was in

expecting to be fed too when she happened to be at another girl's place

around tea-time or dinner time. (Here, the rule was - at least back in the

70's - that the guest goes to sit in another room to wait until the girl

they're visiting has finished eating with their family - believe it or

not!). Since I was the only one who had been to her home and there was

offered something to eat soon as I came in, I pointed out that she probably

didn't mean to be rude but that it was the custom in her home to offer

guests something to eat. I think that put a stop to them talking about her

behind her back and was glad that I had the guts to say something for once -

probably because I just happened to have first-hand info about her and knew

what I was talking about. When the least bit unsure, I tended to say nothing

at all.

Iris, the autistic consultant that I mention from time to time, writes in

her book that it is very common among humans to automatically assume that

the family customs we grow up with is a universal culture, and that this

often gives rise to many misunderstandings and misinterpretations, just like

the one above.

Inger

Re: Disrespectful ? WAS: " Playboy "

I feel a little hesitant to reply to this, but I am going to do so. I

can actually see both sides to this arguement to some extent.

For example I do have a female friend and I am appalled at the way

she treats guys - she knows this as I have told her.

I don't think she is as bad as the female described - just

different. Anyway this female friend of mine I know that she is

incredibly insecure and has many difficulties, but one would only

know that if one gets to truly know her.

She comes across as extremely confident, will flirt with any man -

will also use men to get what she wants (she has admitted so), she

has also said she can get any man she wants and she truly believes

that.

From an outside point of view she will probably have very black

picture painted of her - I know her well enough to know her

difficulties and that she hides behind this projected confidence that

most are fooled by. She is no gold digger though - although some

might see her as such - she is a very independent strong woman, but

still feels the need for a man, but therien is the conflict as she

also finds relationships very difficult.

From knowing this friend for a very long time (since childhood) I

know her more than those who just see the surface. She does not have

many female friends - one reason being she tends to flirt with female

friends partners and might possibly even take it further. Even I

myself had trouble with her when my marriage was breaking down and I

asked her to stop flirting with my husband - she would not and said

that was how she was - I accepted that and plus it takes two to

tango, i.e husband could have remained faithful.

" This is very much tied to my dislike of the answer, " Probably. "

Either something is one way or it's another. "

I'm not sure - things aren't always black and white the way I view

them (although strangely I have been accused of black and white

thinking), but sometimes things are not that straight forward

sometimes there are shades of grey.

" ...asking direct questions -- no matter how hard they may seem to

you -- will yield direct answers. "

I have not found that to be the case.

I have often asked direct questions, but not got direct answers.

Sometimes I wonder if my direct questions that do not get direct

answers are uncomfortable to the other - I can only speculate, maybe

it is hard for them to answer? Maybe the answer is not straight

forward.

I myself sometimes find it hard to answer if the answer is not a

straight forward one. I have trouble with wording if the answer is

not a straight forward yes or no - sometimes it is dependent on

situation or other factors and because of my strong dislike of lying

I feel the need to elaborate and end up waffling on - it is not to

avoid the question, but to clarify, unfortunately processing

promblems and stress interfer with this process often.

Some of this may seem irrelevant to the original post - but not

completely - asking a direct question will not always yeild a direct

answer and even if it does - how does one know if it is the truth or

not?

Also concerning rumours - I personally hate them and tend to make up

my own mind about people - however it doesn't stop people telling me

things about other people. Even when I ask people, tell them I am not

interested in knowing - it is like they cannot stop themselves and

then they tend to get angry with me because I refuse to buy into it

and prefer to find out things for myself - it is back to the I cannot

win situation.

" These days I might have asked if she had done any

> modelling, but at that time I was still quite unsocial. "

>

> Perhaps you would have had an answer, but it may not have been the

> correct answer either. Rather than skew the answer by asking

> questions with veiled agendas, asking direct questions -- no matter

> how hard they may seem to you -- will yield direct answers.

>

> Again, there is no animosity. My reason for taking you to task is

> because innuendo, assumptions, conjecture, stereotypes and more

> paint people ugly who do not deserve to be painted ugly.

>

> Sometimes all those innuendos, assumptions, conjectures,

stereotypes

> and more drive people to commit suicide ... sometimes those people

> are little children. :-(

>

> Raven

>

FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and

acceptance. Everyone is valued.

Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the

folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

[Guest guest]

It sounds like your friend could be your enemy. I agree though, that your husband could have displayed some self-discipline. greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: I feel a little hesitant to reply to this, but I am going to do so. I can actually see both sides to this arguement to some extent.For example I do have a female friend and I am appalled at the wayshe treats guys - she knows this as I have told her.I don't think she is as bad as the female described - just different. Anyway this female friend of mine I know that she is incredibly insecure and has many difficulties, but one would only know that if one gets to truly know her.She comes across as extremely confident, will flirt with any man - will also use men to get what she wants (she has admitted so), she has also

said she can get any man she wants and she truly believes that.From an outside point of view she will probably have very black picture painted of her - I know her well enough to know her difficulties and that she hides behind this projected confidence that most are fooled by. She is no gold digger though - although some might see her as such - she is a very independent strong woman, but still feels the need for a man, but therien is the conflict as she also finds relationships very difficult.From knowing this friend for a very long time (since childhood) I know her more than those who just see the surface. She does not have many female friends - one reason being she tends to flirt with female friends partners and might possibly even take it further. Even I myself had trouble with her when my marriage was breaking down and I asked her to stop flirting with my husband - she would not and said that was how she was - I

accepted that and plus it takes two to tango, i.e husband could have remained faithful."This is very much tied to my dislike of the answer, "Probably." Either something is one way or it's another."I'm not sure - things aren't always black and white the way I view them (although strangely I have been accused of black and white thinking), but sometimes things are not that straight forward sometimes there are shades of grey."...asking direct questions -- no matter how hard they may seem to you -- will yield direct answers."I have not found that to be the case.I have often asked direct questions, but not got direct answers. Sometimes I wonder if my direct questions that do not get direct answers are uncomfortable to the other - I can only speculate, maybe it is hard for them to answer? Maybe the answer is not straight forward.I myself sometimes find it hard to answer if the answer is not

a straight forward one. I have trouble with wording if the answer is not a straight forward yes or no - sometimes it is dependent on situation or other factors and because of my strong dislike of lying I feel the need to elaborate and end up waffling on - it is not to avoid the question, but to clarify, unfortunately processing promblems and stress interfer with this process often.Some of this may seem irrelevant to the original post - but not completely - asking a direct question will not always yeild a direct answer and even if it does - how does one know if it is the truth or not?Also concerning rumours - I personally hate them and tend to make up my own mind about people - however it doesn't stop people telling me things about other people. Even when I ask people, tell them I am not interested in knowing - it is like they cannot stop themselves and then they tend to get angry with me because I refuse to buy into

it and prefer to find out things for myself - it is back to the I cannot win situation. "These days I might have asked if she had done any > modelling, but at that time I was still quite unsocial."> > Perhaps you would have had an answer, but it may not have been the > correct answer either. Rather than skew the answer by asking > questions with veiled agendas, asking direct questions -- no matter > how hard they may seem to you -- will yield direct answers.> > Again, there is no animosity. My reason for taking you to task is > because innuendo, assumptions, conjecture, stereotypes and more

> paint people ugly who do not deserve to be painted ugly.> > Sometimes all those innuendos, assumptions, conjectures, stereotypes > and more drive people to commit suicide ... sometimes those people > are little children. :-(> > Raven>

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

Well he's ex husband now - so no prob's :-)

>

> It sounds like your friend could be your enemy. I agree though, that

your husband could have displayed some self-discipline.

[Guest guest]

Sex has undoubtedly become a central focus in the American Media and many let themselves become brainwashed with it's message when they should be focusing on internal health. greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: Well he's ex husband now - so no prob's :-)>> It sounds like your friend could be your enemy. I agree though, that your husband could have displayed some self-discipline.

Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

[Guest guest]

AMEN!

a name wrote:

> Sex has undoubtedly become a central focus in the American Media and

> many let themselves become brainwashed with it's message when they

> should be focusing on internal health.

>

> */greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...>/* wrote:

>

> Well he's ex husband now - so no prob's :-)

>

>

>

>

> >

> > It sounds like your friend could be your enemy. I agree though,

> that

> your husband could have displayed some self-discipline.

>

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> Use Photomail

>

<http://us.rd./mail_us/taglines/pmall2/*http://photomail.mail.\

>

> to share photos without annoying attachments.

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

> support and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in

> the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Glad someone agrees. Toni <kbtoni@...> wrote: AMEN!a name wrote:> Sex has undoubtedly become a central focus in the American Media and > many let themselves become brainwashed with it's message when they > should be focusing on internal health.>> */greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...>/* wrote:>> Well he's ex husband now - so no prob's :-)>> >> > >> > It sounds like your friend could be your enemy. I agree though,> that> your husband

could have displayed some self-discipline.>>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------> > Use Photomail > <http://us.rd./mail_us/taglines/pmall2/*http://photomail.mail.> > to share photos without annoying attachments.>> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, > support and acceptance. Everyone is valued.>> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in > the folder marked "Other FAM Sites.">>>>

[Guest guest]

-i have posed nude for art classes(painting and photography),as well

as some underwear ads.i also did some slightly kinky pics(one is at

the Group photos)for my wrestling promos(i was a student at Dory Funk

Jr's wrestling school and managed a couple of male wrestlers).i have

no problem with nude pics or magazines,i just wish the women looked

more natural.i see no point in breast augmentation unless it is to

replace breasts damaged by disease(like cancer)or a terrible

accident. Kajira

-- In , " greebohere "

<julie.stevenson16@...> wrote:

>

> There is of course another side to this; asking such a question

could

> cause offense. I personally would find it funny if there was

someone

> in Playboy that looked like me, but not everyone would be like that.

>

> I quite often ask if I don't know and that sometimes gets me in

> trouble, sometimes it feels as if I cannot win no matter what I do.

I

> am true to myself however, but not everyone likes that :-) I think

I

> tend to try peoples patiences sometimes.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > > What you don't read it for the articles? I don't care for it

> either

> > because

> > > all the women look basically the same with just different

faces.

> A

> > few years

> > > ago I did buy an Asian edition one because there was a girl in

> it

> > that I swear

> > > was in one of my college classes, and several other people

> agree,

> > though of

> > > course none of us had the guts to ask if it was really her.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

-Good post,! Now,has ANYONE read the darn Keanu interview lol?

Kajira

-- In , " greebohere "

<julie.stevenson16@...> wrote:

>

> I feel a little hesitant to reply to this, but I am going to do so.

I

> can actually see both sides to this arguement to some extent.

>

> For example I do have a female friend and I am appalled at the way

> she treats guys - she knows this as I have told her.

>

> I don't think she is as bad as the female described - just

> different. Anyway this female friend of mine I know that she is

> incredibly insecure and has many difficulties, but one would only

> know that if one gets to truly know her.

>

> She comes across as extremely confident, will flirt with any man -

> will also use men to get what she wants (she has admitted so), she

> has also said she can get any man she wants and she truly believes

> that.

>

> From an outside point of view she will probably have very black

> picture painted of her - I know her well enough to know her

> difficulties and that she hides behind this projected confidence

that

> most are fooled by. She is no gold digger though - although some

> might see her as such - she is a very independent strong woman, but

> still feels the need for a man, but therien is the conflict as she

> also finds relationships very difficult.

>

> From knowing this friend for a very long time (since childhood) I

> know her more than those who just see the surface. She does not

have

> many female friends - one reason being she tends to flirt with

female

> friends partners and might possibly even take it further. Even I

> myself had trouble with her when my marriage was breaking down and

I

> asked her to stop flirting with my husband - she would not and said

> that was how she was - I accepted that and plus it takes two to

> tango, i.e husband could have remained faithful.

>

> " This is very much tied to my dislike of the answer, " Probably. "

> Either something is one way or it's another. "

>

> I'm not sure - things aren't always black and white the way I view

> them (although strangely I have been accused of black and white

> thinking), but sometimes things are not that straight forward

> sometimes there are shades of grey.

>

> " ...asking direct questions -- no matter how hard they may seem to

> you -- will yield direct answers. "

>

> I have not found that to be the case.

>

> I have often asked direct questions, but not got direct answers.

> Sometimes I wonder if my direct questions that do not get direct

> answers are uncomfortable to the other - I can only speculate,

maybe

> it is hard for them to answer? Maybe the answer is not straight

> forward.

>

> I myself sometimes find it hard to answer if the answer is not a

> straight forward one. I have trouble with wording if the answer is

> not a straight forward yes or no - sometimes it is dependent on

> situation or other factors and because of my strong dislike of

lying

> I feel the need to elaborate and end up waffling on - it is not to

> avoid the question, but to clarify, unfortunately processing

> promblems and stress interfer with this process often.

>

> Some of this may seem irrelevant to the original post - but not

> completely - asking a direct question will not always yeild a

direct

> answer and even if it does - how does one know if it is the truth

or

> not?

>

> Also concerning rumours - I personally hate them and tend to make

up

> my own mind about people - however it doesn't stop people telling

me

> things about other people. Even when I ask people, tell them I am

not

> interested in knowing - it is like they cannot stop themselves and

> then they tend to get angry with me because I refuse to buy into it

> and prefer to find out things for myself - it is back to the I

cannot

> win situation.

>

>

>

> " These days I might have asked if she had done

any

> > modelling, but at that time I was still quite unsocial. "

> >

> > Perhaps you would have had an answer, but it may not have been

the

> > correct answer either. Rather than skew the answer by asking

> > questions with veiled agendas, asking direct questions -- no

matter

> > how hard they may seem to you -- will yield direct answers.

> >

> > Again, there is no animosity. My reason for taking you to task

is

> > because innuendo, assumptions, conjecture, stereotypes and more

> > paint people ugly who do not deserve to be painted ugly.

> >

> > Sometimes all those innuendos, assumptions, conjectures,

> stereotypes

> > and more drive people to commit suicide ... sometimes those

people

> > are little children. :-(

> >

> > Raven

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Well concerning my ex-husband it is too lengthly to go into - but I

am English btw and even within England there are some that buy into

the culture of sex, sex, sex - but I hasten to re-iterate not

everyone.

> >

> > It sounds like your friend could be your enemy. I agree though,

that

> your husband could have displayed some self-discipline.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

>

>

>