Re: Activities Partner Lady

[Guest guest]

Accidentally insulting her car, LOL! That's such a typical Aspie thing to do!

I don't know how many times I've managed to say JUST the wrong thing when I feel less-than-calm in a social situation. Once I had dinner with a guy who owned a photo shop. Not until afterwards did I realize that my comment that I found "photographs a waste of paper" might perhaps not be the most appropriate thing to say. :-) Since I found out about AS, I've just tried to see the humor in putting my foot in it, whereas earlier I could beat myself up about it for years afterwards.

The good news is that as one gets to know the other person more, one will probably relax more and more and make fewer verbal booboos in their presence. Only a pity that to get to that point, one needs to risk that initial discomfort and awkwardness, but afterwards it often feels worth the trouble. Even if it doesn't work out with that particular person (due to lack of chemistry or whatever) one has still gotten valuable experience/practice which will probably be useful in future social situations.

Kudos to you for challenging yourself to go. I'm sure it will go better next time.

Inger

Activities Partner Lady

Activities Partner Lady

I have talked to this local person online since prior to moving to this town. The hope was to find a few people online that live here to meet and do things with. Even though I really am not interested in such things, I challenged myself to do so.

Evidently she just left a relationship with someone that moved away for a job, to another state. Last evening while discussing what to do next she said she still misses him. I do not want to be her boyfriend; also I understand missing someone but not the sexual relational and emotional missing of another.

I am in no way interested in the person but just want to go out and do things. She is not mean, demeaning or absent of friendliness. I do not know what I should say to assure to her I'm looking for friends seriously, as to just do things but not sex. I do not believe is sex without serious relationships or marriage, really complicated things.

When I met with her I only sat in a chair, I tried to start conversation. It seems persons do not have certain intelligences while others do for perhaps the more socially mundane small talk.

I don't like being nervous of possibilities and social If's, the one thing I did not like is how she drove to fast but when I tell people to slow down usually they say I'm being paranoid. Oh well, also I accidentally insulted her car by blurting out lyrics of an Adam Sandler song called piece of sh*t car. It was entirely involuntary and sometimes adaptive personas are like that until I feel more comfortable, or sometimes to comfortable and just blurt it out. Perhaps that is why she drove fast.

Any suggestions for this situation?

She last evening while in chat discussing what to do next said she had to go saying she missed “x’s name” and said talk to you later. So she is going to talk to me again and I realize there is emotional sufferings from the absents of the previous boyfriend, I do not want to replace him.

I'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

I do not know if I am looking for chemistry in the relational sense from that person or anyone I might meet with in the future. A lady for that type of thing is not anyone, rather a very picky few. I've been noticing though, as I have just started to pay attention. Some girls around my age group because I do have good looks will pass by me with a smile and a look (that is chemistry). Now to know what to do about that, haaa… However I have more interests in a lady online that wants to meet me, though seemingly

agreeable there are the facts of reality beyond the delusions of the if’s. I have been venturing out near daily, into social situations and hopefully soon I will be accepted into the regional center by borderline qualifications. The goal is more activities with good natured people who would sort of be friends. Inger Lorelei <inglori@...> wrote: Accidentally insulting her car, LOL! That's such a typical Aspie thing to do! I

don't know how many times I've managed to say JUST the wrong thing when I feel less-than-calm in a social situation. Once I had dinner with a guy who owned a photo shop. Not until afterwards did I realize that my comment that I found "photographs a waste of paper" might perhaps not be the most appropriate thing to say. :-) Since I found out about AS, I've just tried to see the humor in putting my foot in it, whereas earlier I could beat myself up about it for years afterwards. The good news is that as one gets to know the other person more, one will probably relax more and more and make fewer verbal booboos in their presence. Only a pity that to get to that point, one needs to risk that initial discomfort and awkwardness, but afterwards it often feels worth the trouble. Even if it doesn't work out with that particular person (due to lack of chemistry or whatever) one has still

gotten valuable experience/practice which will probably be useful in future social situations. Kudos to you for challenging yourself to go. I'm sure it will go better next time. Inger

Activities Partner Lady Activities Partner Lady I have talked to this local person online since prior to moving to this town. The hope was to find a few people online that live here to meet and do things with. Even though I really am not interested in such things, I challenged myself to do so. Evidently she just left a relationship with someone that moved away for a job, to another state. Last evening while discussing what to do next she said she still misses him. I do

not want to be her boyfriend; also I understand missing someone but not the sexual relational and emotional missing of another. I am in no way interested in the person but just want to go out and do things. She is not mean, demeaning or absent of friendliness. I do not know what I should say to assure to her I'm looking for friends seriously, as to just do things but not sex. I do not believe is sex without serious relationships or marriage, really complicated things. When I met with her I only sat in a chair, I tried to start conversation. It seems persons do not have certain intelligences while others do for perhaps the more socially mundane small

talk. I don't like being nervous of possibilities and social If's, the one thing I did not like is how she drove to fast but when I tell people to slow down usually they say I'm being paranoid. Oh well, also I accidentally insulted her car by blurting out lyrics of an Adam Sandler song called piece of sh*t car. It was entirely involuntary and sometimes adaptive personas are like that until I feel more comfortable, or sometimes to comfortable and just blurt it out. Perhaps that is why she drove fast. Any suggestions for this situation? She last evening while in chat discussing what to do next said she had to go saying she missed “x’s name” and said talk to you later. So she is going to talk to me again and I realize there is emotional sufferings from the absents of the previous boyfriend, I do not want to replace him. I'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/ Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. I'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/

Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

[Guest guest]

On 8 Mar 2006 Young wrote:

> Oh well, also I accidentally insulted her car by blurting out

> lyrics of an Adam Sandler song called piece of sh*t car.

That happens to me sometimes. I can't see through the

windshield cause it's got a big ___ing' crack.

And the interior smells real bad 'Cause my friend puked in the

back. And I got no ___ing brakes. I'm always way outta

control. 11 times a day I hear " Hey! Watch it a_____. "

> Any suggestions for this situation?

I don't know. The whole town thinks you're a loser.

As I understand it, you aren't interested in her sexually.

There's no chance you'll ever bang her. (You never ever get da

___.) That being the case, just say so. Then the two of you

can sing " Ode to My Car " (That's the name of the song) in

harmony.

(If the comments look bizarre, you gotta hear the song.)

- s

[Guest guest]

Hope you will succeed in making RL friends.

And yes, I agree you have good looks so I'm not surprised that you attract some interest from girls. What to do with it? Just enjoy the sunshine of their smiles. :-)

Inger

Activities Partner Lady

Activities Partner Lady

I have talked to this local person online since prior to moving to this town. The hope was to find a few people online that live here to meet and do things with. Even though I really am not interested in such things, I challenged myself to do so.

Evidently she just left a relationship with someone that moved away for a job, to another state. Last evening while discussing what to do next she said she still misses him. I do not want to be her boyfriend; also I understand missing someone but not the sexual relational and emotional missing of another.

I am in no way interested in the person but just want to go out and do things. She is not mean, demeaning or absent of friendliness. I do not know what I should say to assure to her I'm looking for friends seriously, as to just do things but not sex. I do not believe is sex without serious relationships or marriage, really complicated things.

When I met with her I only sat in a chair, I tried to start conversation. It seems persons do not have certain intelligences while others do for perhaps the more socially mundane small talk.

I don't like being nervous of possibilities and social If's, the one thing I did not like is how she drove to fast but when I tell people to slow down usually they say I'm being paranoid. Oh well, also I accidentally insulted her car by blurting out lyrics of an Adam Sandler song called piece of sh*t car. It was entirely involuntary and sometimes adaptive personas are like that until I feel more comfortable, or sometimes to comfortable and just blurt it out. Perhaps that is why she drove fast.

Any suggestions for this situation?

She last evening while in chat discussing what to do next said she had to go saying she missed “x’s name” and said talk to you later. So she is going to talk to me again and I realize there is emotional sufferings from the absents of the previous boyfriend, I do not want to replace him.

I'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. I'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/

Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

[Guest guest]

I used to have the album "What the hell happened to me". It was fun to listen to the Frito Lay song, the goat song etc...Stan's Computer <vze2txm3@...> wrote: On 8 Mar 2006 Young wrote:> Oh well, also I accidentally insulted her car by blurting out> lyrics of an Adam Sandler song called piece of sh*t car.That happens to me sometimes. I can't see through the windshield cause it's got a big ___ing' crack.And the interior smells real bad 'Cause my friend puked in the back. And I got no ___ing brakes. I'm always way outta control. 11 times a day I hear "Hey! Watch it a_____."> Any suggestions for this situation?I don't know. The whole town thinks you're a loser.As I understand it, you aren't interested in her

sexually.There's no chance you'll ever bang her. (You never ever get da ___.) That being the case, just say so. Then the two of you can sing "Ode to My Car" (That's the name of the song) in harmony.(If the comments look bizarre, you gotta hear the song.)- s

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[Guest guest]

P.S., *all* of my quotes from the song were meant as

humor.

On 8 Mar 2006 Stan's Computer wrote:

> (If the comments look bizarre, you gotta hear the song.)

- s

[Guest guest]

That is sort of why I think people who degrade others such as calling them losers goto hell. Or at least that part of them while the nicer parts goto heaven.. Laugh Snort.. In my opinion i'm the opposite of a loser. Quite frankly i'm fairly well off.Stan's Computer <vze2txm3@...> wrote: On 8 Mar 2006 Young wrote:> Oh well, also I accidentally insulted her car by blurting out> lyrics of an Adam Sandler song called piece of sh*t car.That happens to me sometimes. I can't see through the windshield cause it's got a big ___ing' crack.And the interior smells real bad 'Cause my friend puked in the back. And I got no ___ing brakes. I'm always way outta control. 11 times a day I hear "Hey! Watch it

a_____."> Any suggestions for this situation?I don't know. The whole town thinks you're a loser.As I understand it, you aren't interested in her sexually.There's no chance you'll ever bang her. (You never ever get da ___.) That being the case, just say so. Then the two of you can sing "Ode to My Car" (That's the name of the song) in harmony.(If the comments look bizarre, you gotta hear the song.)- sI'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/

Brings words and photos together (easily) with PhotoMail - it's free and works with .

[Guest guest]

Laugh snortInger Lorelei <inglori@...> wrote: Hope you will succeed in making RL friends. And yes, I agree you have good looks so I'm not surprised that you attract some interest from girls. What to do with it? Just enjoy the sunshine of their smiles. :-) Inger I'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/

Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

[Guest guest]

I've gotten into fights for less... But did not often...Stan's Computer <vze2txm3@...> wrote: P.S., *all* of my quotes from the song were meant as humor.On 8 Mar 2006 Stan's Computer wrote:> (If the comments look bizarre, you gotta hear the song.)- sI'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/

Brings words and photos together (easily) with PhotoMail - it's free and works with .

[Guest guest]

On 8 Mar 2006 a name wrote:

> I used to have the album " What the hell happened to me " . It was

> fun to listen to the Frito Lay song, the goat song etc...

I got the tape, and then I had to get a CD of the radio version

of " Ode to My Car " from ebay, which I think is funnier. (It's

called the " horn honk version " .)

Incidentally there are suggestions that Adam Sandler may be on

The Spectrum. The movie " Punch Drunk Love " seems to be about an

AS character. I mentioned it at my old office and someone gave

me the CD because she couldn't understand it at all.

[Guest guest]

Adam Sandler is the only actor I like. There was one about a farting psychologist and quiting smoking.Stan's Computer <vze2txm3@...> wrote: On 8 Mar 2006 a name wrote:> I used to have the album "What the hell happened to me". It was> fun to listen to the Frito Lay song, the goat song etc...I got the tape, and then I had to get a CD of the radio version of "Ode to My Car" from ebay, which I think is funnier. (It's called the "horn honk version".)Incidentally there are suggestions that Adam Sandler may be on The Spectrum. The movie "Punch Drunk Love" seems to be about an AS character. I mentioned it at my old office and someone gave me the CD because she couldn't understand it at all.I'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/

Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

[Guest guest]

I remember one guy telling me what he did for a job and I

automatically said 'my commiseration's'. Oooooooops.

I now try to be careful of what I say, but it is hard, sometimes I

just don't know what to say. Sometimes I think a response is

required, but don't know how to give one - I think I might be getting

better, but maybe I'm just delluded :-)

>

> Accidentally insulting her car, LOL! That's such a typical Aspie

thing to do!

>

> I don't know how many times I've managed to say JUST the wrong

thing when I feel less-than-calm in a social situation. Once I had

dinner with a guy who owned a photo shop. Not until afterwards did I

realize that my comment that I found " photographs a waste of paper "

might perhaps not be the most appropriate thing to say. :-) Since I

found out about AS, I've just tried to see the humor in putting my

foot in it, whereas earlier I could beat myself up about it for years

afterwards.

>

> The good news is that as one gets to know the other person more,

one will probably relax more and more and make fewer verbal booboos

in their presence. Only a pity that to get to that point, one needs

to risk that initial discomfort and awkwardness, but afterwards it

often feels worth the trouble. Even if it doesn't work out with that

particular person (due to lack of chemistry or whatever) one has

still gotten valuable experience/practice which will probably be

useful in future social situations.

>

> Kudos to you for challenging yourself to go. I'm sure it will go

better next time.

>

> Inger

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry this made me laugh a bit. I wonder which part of me would go to

heaven? Also if all my naughty side goes to hell, heaven may be a bit

boring :-)

>

> > Oh well, also I accidentally insulted her car by blurting out

> > lyrics of an Adam Sandler song called piece of sh*t car.

>

> That happens to me sometimes. I can't see through the

> windshield cause it's got a big ___ing' crack.

> And the interior smells real bad 'Cause my friend puked in the

> back. And I got no ___ing brakes. I'm always way outta

> control. 11 times a day I hear " Hey! Watch it a_____. "

>

> > Any suggestions for this situation?

>

> I don't know. The whole town thinks you're a loser.

>

> As I understand it, you aren't interested in her sexually.

> There's no chance you'll ever bang her. (You never ever get da

> ___.) That being the case, just say so. Then the two of you

> can sing " Ode to My Car " (That's the name of the song) in

> harmony.

>

> (If the comments look bizarre, you gotta hear the song.)

>

> - s

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thats my second great challenge, employment. If I can find a place where I do the same things then that would be an ok job. I was thinking about working at a place I can clean things.greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: I remember one guy telling me what he did for a job and I automatically said 'my commiseration's'. Oooooooops.I now try to be careful of what I say, but it is hard, sometimes I just don't know what to say. Sometimes I think a response is required, but don't know how to give one - I think I might be getting better, but maybe I'm just delluded :-)>> Accidentally insulting her car, LOL! That's such a typical Aspie thing to do! > > I don't know how many times I've

managed to say JUST the wrong thing when I feel less-than-calm in a social situation. Once I had dinner with a guy who owned a photo shop. Not until afterwards did I realize that my comment that I found "photographs a waste of paper" might perhaps not be the most appropriate thing to say. :-) Since I found out about AS, I've just tried to see the humor in putting my foot in it, whereas earlier I could beat myself up about it for years afterwards. > > The good news is that as one gets to know the other person more, one will probably relax more and more and make fewer verbal booboos in their presence. Only a pity that to get to that point, one needs to risk that initial discomfort and awkwardness, but afterwards it often feels worth the trouble. Even if it doesn't work out with that particular person (due to lack of chemistry or whatever) one has still gotten valuable experience/practice which will probably be

useful in future social situations. > > Kudos to you for challenging yourself to go. I'm sure it will go better next time. > > Inger > I'm from this planet, the rest of you are not.Please go back to Mars or Venushttp://www.simplecomplexities.org/community/__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

More so a joke, however I think it is more psychological. greebohere <julie.stevenson16@...> wrote: Sorry this made me laugh a bit. I wonder which part of me would go to heaven? Also if all my naughty side goes to hell, heaven may be a bit boring :-)> > > Oh well, also I accidentally insulted her car by blurting out> > lyrics of an Adam Sandler song called piece of sh*t car.> > That happens to me sometimes. I can't see through the > windshield cause it's got a big ___ing' crack.> And the interior smells real bad 'Cause my friend puked in the > back. And I got no ___ing brakes. I'm always way outta > control. 11 times a day I hear "Hey! Watch it a_____."> > > Any suggestions for this situation?> > I don't know. The whole town thinks you're a loser.> > As I understand it, you aren't interested in her sexually.> There's no chance you'll ever bang her. (You never ever get da > ___.) That being the case, just say so. Then the two of you > can sing "Ode to My Car" (That's the name of the song) in > harmony.>

> (If the comments look bizarre, you gotta hear the song.)> > - s> > > > > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. > > Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page in the folder marked "Other FAM Sites." > > > >

[Guest guest]

I just told our new neighbor a few days ago who has a 15 year old

dog, " Wow, he's really lived a long time, hasn't he? He's had a

longer than average lifespan. " I basically talked about him as though

he's living on borrowed time and will probably will die tomorrow. I

don't think I'll ever be able to stop saying things like that either.

Also, the more pressure I have to not say the wrong thing the more

apt I am to say the wrong thing.

> >

> > Accidentally insulting her car, LOL! That's such a typical Aspie

> thing to do!

> >

> > I don't know how many times I've managed to say JUST the wrong

> thing when I feel less-than-calm in a social situation. Once I had

> dinner with a guy who owned a photo shop. Not until afterwards did

I

> realize that my comment that I found " photographs a waste of paper "

> might perhaps not be the most appropriate thing to say. :-) Since I

> found out about AS, I've just tried to see the humor in putting my

> foot in it, whereas earlier I could beat myself up about it for

years

> afterwards.

> >

> > The good news is that as one gets to know the other person more,

> one will probably relax more and more and make fewer verbal booboos

> in their presence. Only a pity that to get to that point, one needs

> to risk that initial discomfort and awkwardness, but afterwards it

> often feels worth the trouble. Even if it doesn't work out with

that

> particular person (due to lack of chemistry or whatever) one has

> still gotten valuable experience/practice which will probably be

> useful in future social situations.

> >

> > Kudos to you for challenging yourself to go. I'm sure it will go

> better next time.

> >

> > Inger

> >

>

[Guest guest]

LOL!

I know just what you mean.

Inger

Re: Activities Partner Lady

I just told our new neighbor a few days ago who has a 15 year old

dog, " Wow, he's really lived a long time, hasn't he? He's had a

longer than average lifespan. " I basically talked about him as though

he's living on borrowed time and will probably will die tomorrow. I

don't think I'll ever be able to stop saying things like that either.

Also, the more pressure I have to not say the wrong thing the more

apt I am to say the wrong thing.

[Guest guest]

On 8 Mar 2006 Young wrote:

> In my opinion i'm the opposite of a loser. Quite frankly i'm

> fairly well off.

I believe that's a basic presumption of this group -- none of us

think of anyone else here as a " loser " . At least that's may

attitude.

It's also my sense (that people here are far from being

" losers " ), from reading what people say here.

- s

[Guest guest]

On 9 Mar 2006 mikecarrie01 wrote:

> I just told our new neighbor a few days ago who has a 15 year old

> dog, " Wow, he's really lived a long time, hasn't he?

Then you need to meet " dude " at 20. As long as you're kind to

him, no offense would be taken by any comments you would say.

But then Dude lived with someone on The Spectrum for most of his

life.

[Guest guest]

I had a dog named dude once.Stan's Computer <vze2txm3@...> wrote: On 9 Mar 2006 mikecarrie01 wrote: > I just told our new neighbor a few days ago who has a 15 year old > dog, "Wow, he's really lived a long time, hasn't he? Then you need to meet "dude" at 20. As long as you're kind to him, no offense would be taken by any comments you would say. But then Dude lived with someone on The Spectrum for most of his life.

[Guest guest]

--- Stan> It's also my sense (that people here are far from being

" losers " ), from reading what people say here.

I couldn't agree more!

>

> On 8 Mar 2006 Young wrote:

>

> > In my opinion i'm the opposite of a loser. Quite frankly i'm

> > fairly well off.

>

> I believe that's a basic presumption of this group -- none of us

> think of anyone else here as a " loser " . At least that's may

> attitude.

>

> It's also my sense (that people here are far from being

> " losers " ), from reading what people say here.

>

> - s

>

[Guest guest]

20? Wow, what breed?

>

> > I just told our new neighbor a few days ago who has a 15 year old

> > dog, " Wow, he's really lived a long time, hasn't he?

>

> Then you need to meet " dude " at 20. As long as you're kind to

> him, no offense would be taken by any comments you would say.

> But then Dude lived with someone on The Spectrum for most of his

> life.

>

[Guest guest]

Was it in the 1980's too? 20 years old would be 1986 birth year,

when 'dude' used at lot in the U.S., if I remember correctly.

>

> > I just told our new neighbor a few days ago who has a 15 year old

> > dog, " Wow, he's really lived a long time, hasn't he?

>

> Then you need to meet " dude " at 20. As long as you're kind to

> him, no offense would be taken by any comments you would say.

> But then Dude lived with someone on The Spectrum for most of his

> life.

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Don't forget, there are links to other FAM sites on the Links page

in the folder marked " Other FAM Sites. "

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/10/2006 12:37:52 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, vze2txm3@... writes:

Part Dachshund, part Pomeranian

My neighbors have a Pomeranian and she's a barky little thing. Oddly though, I'm the only person she won't bark at, at least not once she realized it is me (sometimes she does recognize me if I'm wearing a coat or walking in the evening). I'm also the only person outside of the family that she will let touch her. If she sees me coming near the fence, she will run up to it and paw at the wire excitedly until I come over to pet her. The other funny thing is that she doesn't pay much attention to the neighbors when she gets out of the yard, but if I call her, she goes right back to the yard, probably because she knows I can run fast enough to catch her though.

[Guest guest]

>From: mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...>

>

> Was it in the 1980's too? 20 years old would be 1986 birth year,

> when 'dude' used at lot in the U.S., if I remember correctly.

1993, which is when the dog was obtained from the pound. He was named by a 9

year old child.

- s