Re: secular scrupulosity - Religious Content

[Guest guest]

>So a child has a thought of hurting their parent and then has to

live with guilt and fear for a thought they never wished to have to

begin with?

Wow, that is sooo true! doesn't understand this quite

yet. Well, you can tell him this but he doesn't " feel " it, how

thoughts can pop into your head but have nothing to do with " you "

and who you really are, etc. He just goes on feeling guilty and

bad, etc., he's not a nice person.... He's having a hard time

distinguishing what are his thoughts vs OCD thoughts. Although the

latter may not be quite true, the way I worded it. Anyone can have

those same thoughts, it's the OCD that causes such distress/anxiety

and keeps it constant. I could have the same thought pop into my

head and manage to shrug it off, say " sorry! " , recognize it as some

brain hiccup, that I don't really mean it, I thought it because I

know I shouldn't...whatever, and move past it. OCD won't let

get past it.

> Yes, but if you are a member of a church that teaches one

unrepented sin constitutes you going to a " hell " , or that we are

responsible for not only our actions but for our thoughts, that can

be alot of pressure for any child, but especially agonizing for one

with OCD. So a child has a thought of hurting their parent and then

has to live with guilt and fear for a thought they never wished to

have to begin with? I believe each parent here knows what is best

[Guest guest]

I have to agree with and as scary as it sounded when my dd said

she wanted to die, it wasn't suicidal it was knowing they'll be no more

worries etc so she looks for that positive time when everything will be

all better in Heaven -it can really help the overwhelming OCD is here

for life thoughts -we personally get peace of mind (and healing at

times) from prayer so maybe it can help some of these kids

eileen

Quoting Seale <siriuslives689@...>:

> I agree. One of my OCDers main church problem was that we are huge

> Harry Potter fans in our family. As some of you might have guessed

> with my email...

>

> My inlaws church preaches against all types of magical stuff. This

> goes as far into the Lord of the Rings, Narnia, The Princess and the

> Pea was banned for crying out loud.

>

> Well, when nightly discussions at our dinner table are things

> surrounding the Harry Series, it caused some turmoil. I took care of

> it. I also made certain that my father in law (who is the instigater

> a lot of the time about religious things) stopped singing his tune of

> Harry For Hell. I even changed his mind somewhat and now he leaves

> me and the kids be. My husband is too strong headed to care about

> anything his dad thinks these days.

>

> I did not mean to offend or anything. I just wanted to say that

> belief in something can be helpful. Sometimes, for OCDers it can be

> hard. I know at one point it was really hard for me. I just wanted

> to say that sometimes, when things get rough, we as parents of OCDers

> have to look inside and make the best decissions that we can for our

> own children. About the time Reese was having all these problems

> with religion, I thought of sending her to a Baptist Private School.

> Three days let me know that it was not going to happen. It was too

> much for her at the time. What was right, what was wrong, what to

> read, what not to read, it was overwhelming to a OCD child that was

> trying to remember " God Is Good " .

>

> All we can do is what is best for our kids and truth be told, we

> fail at that a lot. I know I do. No matter what I think is the best

> thing sometimes its the oppisite thing that is the best.

>

> c ward <cward_ri@...> wrote:

> Yes, but if you are a member of a church that teaches one

> unrepented sin constitutes you going to a " hell " , or that we are

> responsible for not only our actions but for our thoughts, that can

> be alot of pressure for any child, but especially agonizing for one

> with OCD. So a child has a thought of hurting their parent and then

> has to live with guilt and fear for a thought they never wished to

> have to begin with? I believe each parent here knows what is best in

> their particular situation and for their own child. It is also

> possible for find a church of the same denomination with a

> priest/minister/bishop/pastor, etc. with whose sermons you feel more

> comfortable.

>

>

>

> Seale <siriuslives689@...> wrote:

> More than likely I will allianate myself here but I have to say this.

> I really think that you are not only doing your children a disservice

> by not offering some type of religious background but you are also

> harming yourself.

>

> I will admit that I am a Southern Baptist. I am also a Republician so

> that makes me like the worst of the worst Republicans (its a joke).

>

> My daughter went through a time where her faith was tested through

> her OCD. Mine also. But the faith in God is what brought us through

> that time. I wont lecture you on the Heaven and Hell thing. I will

> say that Hell is real and trust me you dont want to go there. I will

> also say that when you believe in God, believe that Jesus was the son

> of God and that He was sent to the Earth to offer salvation for all

> people and all you have to do is accept it, it gives you a peace that

> nothing else can give.

>

> Learning about death and dying is not as scary when you know that God

> is waiting for you. That your family is there and that Heaven is so

> unbelievable you will never worry again. Hell is not that frightening

> when you know that you are not going to go there. Death is not that

> frightening when you know that there is an eternal place waiting for

> you.

>

> I guess for a person like me, searching for the truth is so silly

> when I know the truth.

>

> Your son reading his Bible, its not a bad thing. Teaching your

> children that there is something more to this life than our world

> that seems to get worse and worse everyday is a great thing.

>

>

>

> <@...> wrote:

> Hi ,

> Well, with our family I did bring up the kids (3 sons) saying there

> *is* God, Jesus...having them do bedtime prayers, etc. They knew

> not everyone believed in God though. But we weren't a church-going

> family. I didn't grow up going to church. But what I did over the

> years was discuss what I knew/read about other faiths/beliefs. Not

> on any regular basis either. They each went through a stage of huge

> fears of dying, so then I did have books to show them on " heaven "

> and lots of discussion. (Whew, that was tough, hearing them say

> they wished they hadn't been born if they had to die, the crying,

> their fears....)

>

> My own faith seems to take a bit from all, so I'm not " strict " in

> some certain faith, though do believe in God. My oldest (now 21)

> went to church with some neighbors a few years (Methodist) and then

> lost interest when it got past the " fun " stuff to the adult, around

> age 13. He had his doubts, got interested in Wicca and other but

> was just pursuing knowledge I guess. I'm not sure what his

> faith/beliefs are now. Another son is presently an agnostic

> (believe that's the word he uses; perhaps older son is too!). I

> basically tell them they have to find what is right for *them*.

>

> And then there's , my OCDer!!

>

> He began reading the Bible at bedtime each night I guess around 9th

> grade, maybe 8th. It was one he had received back when he and his

> twin, , had participated in a local AWANAS group (a Christian

> based group for young kids, do activities, read Bible... -- I think

> that ended in maybe 6th grade (outgrew age limit or something). At

> the time he began the bedtime routine of reading, I know I was

> concerned this *could* turn into some OCD-thing and sort of wanted

> to just snatch it away. Well...it took until last January (2nd half

> of 11th grade) but scrupulosity/OCD popped up! always had a

> bit of scrupe in him growing up, he was just a *good* child.

> Couldn't lie, couldn't cheat, well-behaved. But last January

> brought another severe bout of OCD problems, bad thoughts and all.

> His first onset of OCD had nothing to do with religion though.

>

> I've a bit of OCD scrupe too. I attend just church with and

> it's brought a bit of my own up. But for me, it's something I can

> easily sort of shrug off and always have. Hadn't bothered me very

> often in years either until I began attending services.

>

> I guess this is my long way of saying that I do think with *OCD*

> that you never know what will pop up in any family of any belief or

> non-belief. For some, just a " doubt " about if what they

> think/feel/believe, what really happens after death, etc., is really

> a " certainty " can begin an OC problem. For others it may not be

> about real faith/belief at all, just that old OCD " doubting disease "

> or " worrying disease " and it takes a topic and runs with it! There

> is no logic.

>

> OK, quick thoughts and typing!! (don't hold me to word-for-word!)

>

>

> single mom, 3 sons

> , 17

>

>

>>

>> We are mostly secular with some earth based spirituality, we

> celebrate the seasons, appreciate the earth, those tend to be our

> holidays. So, the scrupulosity is not an issue at this point for

> us. I do however, think that if we were religious, my ds would be

> worried about that. We don't really believe in hell, so he isn't

> worried about doing something wrong and going there. He does however

> apologize to the earth when he litters, or steps on bugs, and then

> he feels bad. He also went through a period of worrying about saying

>

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