why so many tears?

[Guest guest]

Ana had an appointment with the feeding clinic today. They have a

lot of good ideas, but the visits are always overwhelming as we meet

with a CPN, dietician, OT and speech at the same time. They take

turns evaluating Ana as the other three fire questions at me.

So...overwhelming on a good day. It has not turned out to be a good

day. They said Ana qualified for both speech and OT now. I used to

do the therapy as a job, but for some reason, being on the other

side is hitting me a lot harder then I thought it would. Then the

dietician decided to take it upon herself to convince me that I am

not doing Ana any good when I end up sleeping with her. She

said " is this what you intended from her birth? " I wanted to

yell " Nothing about my child's life is how I intended it to be, I

did not intend for her to suffer two dozen blood draws, four zillion

IV's, and unknown pains for her entire first year " Who the heck

does she think she is, SHE IS A DIETICIAN, NOT A SLEEP THERAPIST.

So the whole thing has just been crap tomorrow. I don't want to

hand her over to these therapists and leave the room for an hour

while she screams, scared they are going to poke her. I hate all of

this.

Sorry so negative. Just so sad about all of this tonight, how are

you all so strong????

Ana 14 mo, too young for all this crap.