Re: Tell the school or not?

[Guest guest]

,

I think the schools would truly prefer NOT to put a special plan into effect.

Usually, you have to fight for it!

My son also entered middle school this year. I assume you are like us and

there is a team of teachers? We talked to his homeroom teacher only (who also

is his reading teacher) because I wanted to know if they noticed anything in

school I did not notice. If anything was going on that would cause an increase

in anxiety, I wanted to have a heads up from her. I really like his teacher and

she was WONDERFUL! We asked her to share his diagnosis with the other teachers,

but not that he has OCD (that was only for her to know), but just to share that

he has a lot of anxiety. It seems like everyone has anxiety these days, so no

big deal. We asked if she would ask them to let us know if they noticed any

increase in anxiety with him. Anyway, the principal does not know that I am

aware of - or the guidance counselor, etc - just his homeroom teacher. She was

very aware that this was in confidence. We also told her our concerns about

telling her -- that we wanted him viewed as

the bright, kind, caring, inquisitive, and talented boy he is - not as the one

with ocd. She totally understood.

My concern initially was that he would not make the basketball team he so

desperately wanted to make - that if a stigma about him got out, they would

notwant him on the team (even subconsciously) but he made it - and only 5 out of

60 5th graders made the team, so obviously there was no bias against him.

We also asked her if she would let us know if she had strep in her class. We

wanted to watch the correlation of that this year (not necessarily having, but

being exposed to).

Good luck with your decision.

McRobie <ocdisordermom@...> wrote:

Hi, all. In the ongoing saga of my daughter's rough transition to

middle school just at the exact same time that her Zoloft stopped working

(argh!), my husband and I are now discussing whether or not to " tell the school "

that has OCD. Her OCD has NEVER been suspected in elementary school. She's

always been a model student and received high praise for her academics and

social behavior. Suddenly, in middle school, she's missing assignments, not

making eye contact with teachers, constantly complaining about how " mean "

everyone is, getting lower grades than we thought she could ... and in the

meantime, her home-based rituals are taking more and more time. Usually, I don't

see her in her school environment, so I don't know if she's been doing any

rituals (evening up, tapping, repetitive stuff) there, and don't know if her

main teachers have noticed anything (other than that she's late every day).

I've seen so many posts that indicate great responses on the part of the schools

and teachers when they learn about the OCD. 's behaviors never interfered

with school before, and although her OCD seems severe at home, it isn't in

public. But maybe she's giving out a weird vibe (I noticed that the SSRI and now

Anafranil take the edge off of her anxiety about getting everything perfect -

maybe she's getting sloppy???) that is interfering with her making the same

impression at this school that she has made previously.

My husband hates the idea of telling the school. He thinks that some federal or

state laws will kick in and force us into special plans, interventions, etc. I

don't know enough about it to know if that would happen or not (we're in

California).

would not like the stigma of the school knowing about her condition.

Especially one of her current teachers, who is emotional and sort of a loose

cannon.

Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros and cons of

letting the school know?

Thanks!

M.

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters, Associates.

Top schools

[Guest guest]

Also, we never told our son that we had contacted his teacher. he also prefers

not to have them know, but he is 11 and fortunately not in charge of what

happens yet!

c ward <cward_ri@...> wrote:

,

I think the schools would truly prefer NOT to put a special plan into effect.

Usually, you have to fight for it!

My son also entered middle school this year. I assume you are like us and there

is a team of teachers? We talked to his homeroom teacher only (who also is his

reading teacher) because I wanted to know if they noticed anything in school I

did not notice. If anything was going on that would cause an increase in

anxiety, I wanted to have a heads up from her. I really like his teacher and she

was WONDERFUL! We asked her to share his diagnosis with the other teachers, but

not that he has OCD (that was only for her to know), but just to share that he

has a lot of anxiety. It seems like everyone has anxiety these days, so no big

deal. We asked if she would ask them to let us know if they noticed any increase

in anxiety with him. Anyway, the principal does not know that I am aware of - or

the guidance counselor, etc - just his homeroom teacher. She was very aware that

this was in confidence. We also told her our concerns about telling her -- that

we wanted him viewed as

the bright, kind, caring, inquisitive, and talented boy he is - not as the one

with ocd. She totally understood.

My concern initially was that he would not make the basketball team he so

desperately wanted to make - that if a stigma about him got out, they would

notwant him on the team (even subconsciously) but he made it - and only 5 out of

60 5th graders made the team, so obviously there was no bias against him.

We also asked her if she would let us know if she had strep in her class. We

wanted to watch the correlation of that this year (not necessarily having, but

being exposed to).

Good luck with your decision.

McRobie <ocdisordermom@...> wrote:

Hi, all. In the ongoing saga of my daughter's rough transition to middle school

just at the exact same time that her Zoloft stopped working (argh!), my husband

and I are now discussing whether or not to " tell the school " that has OCD.

Her OCD has NEVER been suspected in elementary school. She's always been a model

student and received high praise for her academics and social behavior.

Suddenly, in middle school, she's missing assignments, not making eye contact

with teachers, constantly complaining about how " mean " everyone is, getting

lower grades than we thought she could ... and in the meantime, her home-based

rituals are taking more and more time. Usually, I don't see her in her school

environment, so I don't know if she's been doing any rituals (evening up,

tapping, repetitive stuff) there, and don't know if her main teachers have

noticed anything (other than that she's late every day).

I've seen so many posts that indicate great responses on the part of the schools

and teachers when they learn about the OCD. 's behaviors never interfered

with school before, and although her OCD seems severe at home, it isn't in

public. But maybe she's giving out a weird vibe (I noticed that the SSRI and now

Anafranil take the edge off of her anxiety about getting everything perfect -

maybe she's getting sloppy???) that is interfering with her making the same

impression at this school that she has made previously.

My husband hates the idea of telling the school. He thinks that some federal or

state laws will kick in and force us into special plans, interventions, etc. I

don't know enough about it to know if that would happen or not (we're in

California).

would not like the stigma of the school knowing about her condition.

Especially one of her current teachers, who is emotional and sort of a loose

cannon.

Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros and cons of

letting the school know?

Thanks!

M.

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters, Associates.

Top schools

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I agree with what said, keeping in mind that each child is different.

I have 3 kids with ocd. Only one of my kids-(10) has a 504 plan, and I

had to fight for it, believe me! I only got the plan for her because she was

having major anxiety issues in school that were impacting her learning, and is

on medication, so I wanted the nurse to know about the side effects. She ended

up being hospitalized and missing 6 weeks of school, so I really had no

choice.(They didn't want to give me the 504!)They did after I had to threaten

them.(pretty pathetic) I have learned an awful lot about the school systems

since than.

My oldest daughter(11) sounds very similar to your daughter. She always gets

high honors, gifted, representative of student council, etc, etc. Her school has

no idea she has ocd. She has issues at home though. If it begins to impact her

learning, I will get a plan in place.

My son(5) is in pm kindergarten. The school knows he is on meds, but they

don't know why yet. He is beginning to show some difficulties with his fine

motor skills, so I'm having him evaluated by an OT.Looks like I might need to

set up an IEP for him.

I feel that if they are doing fine in school, don't stir everything up, but if

your child is having learning issues, than I'd set up a meeting.

Just my opinion

Hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

Judy, What meds for anxiety does take? Thanks, Deb

jchabot <jchabot@...> wrote:

---------------------------------

Sponsored Link

Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors, Masters,

Associates. Top schools

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/15/2006 3:01:32 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

ocdisordermom@... writes:

Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros and cons of

letting the school know?

We never had to involve the school system with our daughter's OCD. We

decided early on that unless things got SO bad, that she was unable to perform

at

school, we would say nothing. Records are kept & kids are " labeled " - that's

just how it is. Some places are worse than others, some are really great

about the whole thing - others are a total nightmare. It just depends on your

particular school district & school.

What I can speak from experience about are two topics you brought up - the

transition from elementary to middle school, and a child who was performing at

a top notch level, then having grades drop.

As a result of medication, we learned (much to our surprise) that our

daughter was suffering with OCD long before the hand washing, etc had ever

started.

It was just a form of OCD that we never pinpointed. Nothing seemed weird

or out of place, she was just a VERY attentive, over-achieving student. She

got straight A's... she was on the National Junior Honor Society, she spent

FOREVER doing her homework & working on assignments - everything had to be an

" A " grade. Period. No exceptions. Once she started Prozac, her level of

stress & worry about school really went down. After all those years, we

realized it wasn't our daughter who wanted the straight 'A's.... it was the OCD

telling her she HAD to get straight A's. This was a blessing & a curse I

suppose. Although, to see our child actually have a " normal " childhood &

actually

spend time playing with her friends instead of studying & working on homework

& projects until 11pm at night made everything OK with us.

Now she brings home a couple C's along with A's & B's. This is fine with us

because I remember the day in 8th grade when she brought home her first " B "

on a report card. I thought was going to have to sedate her - she was

hysterical - crying - going on & on. I tried to reason with her about how a

" B " is

something to be proud of & it's STILL above grade level. She looked at me

and said, " Mom, you just don't understand - I got a " B " - I might as well be

failing the class! " (so, you can see where this is an OCD thing & not just an

over-achiever situation.)

As for the transition from elementary to middle - this is difficult for all

kids. Some handle it better than others - some don't do well at all. My son

(non-ocd) had a horrible time adjusting to middle school. My daughter had

some difficulties, but no where near as hard a time as my son.

I guess what I'm saying is - don't be too quick to point a finger at OCD as

the cause of the difficulty your child is having adjusting to middle school -

it really might be a combination of things. And, as for the drop in grades

(or missing assignments, etc) this could also be a result of meds or therapy

making her be more relaxed towards that stress & pressure she once felt to

perform at a higher level.

Just a few thoughts of my own.

LT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/15/2006 3:01:32 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

ocdisordermom@... writes:

Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros and cons of

letting the school know?

We never had to involve the school system with our daughter's OCD. We

decided early on that unless things got SO bad, that she was unable to perform

at

school, we would say nothing. Records are kept & kids are " labeled " - that's

just how it is. Some places are worse than others, some are really great

about the whole thing - others are a total nightmare. It just depends on your

particular school district & school.

What I can speak from experience about are two topics you brought up - the

transition from elementary to middle school, and a child who was performing at

a top notch level, then having grades drop.

As a result of medication, we learned (much to our surprise) that our

daughter was suffering with OCD long before the hand washing, etc had ever

started.

It was just a form of OCD that we never pinpointed. Nothing seemed weird

or out of place, she was just a VERY attentive, over-achieving student. She

got straight A's... she was on the National Junior Honor Society, she spent

FOREVER doing her homework & working on assignments - everything had to be an

" A " grade. Period. No exceptions. Once she started Prozac, her level of

stress & worry about school really went down. After all those years, we

realized it wasn't our daughter who wanted the straight 'A's.... it was the OCD

telling her she HAD to get straight A's. This was a blessing & a curse I

suppose. Although, to see our child actually have a " normal " childhood &

actually

spend time playing with her friends instead of studying & working on homework

& projects until 11pm at night made everything OK with us.

Now she brings home a couple C's along with A's & B's. This is fine with us

because I remember the day in 8th grade when she brought home her first " B "

on a report card. I thought was going to have to sedate her - she was

hysterical - crying - going on & on. I tried to reason with her about how a

" B " is

something to be proud of & it's STILL above grade level. She looked at me

and said, " Mom, you just don't understand - I got a " B " - I might as well be

failing the class! " (so, you can see where this is an OCD thing & not just an

over-achiever situation.)

As for the transition from elementary to middle - this is difficult for all

kids. Some handle it better than others - some don't do well at all. My son

(non-ocd) had a horrible time adjusting to middle school. My daughter had

some difficulties, but no where near as hard a time as my son.

I guess what I'm saying is - don't be too quick to point a finger at OCD as

the cause of the difficulty your child is having adjusting to middle school -

it really might be a combination of things. And, as for the drop in grades

(or missing assignments, etc) this could also be a result of meds or therapy

making her be more relaxed towards that stress & pressure she once felt to

perform at a higher level.

Just a few thoughts of my own.

LT

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

takes zoloft for her anxiety, and it works well for her.

Take care

hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

,

I am not an OCD veteran but our experiences sound similar. Our son is

8th grade, very bright, always an outstanding student.

OCD hit hard at the beginning of the 8th this year and was much like

you describe.

We are fortunate to have the option of homeschooling which we decided

to do while we look for help. This gives us great flexibility in

scheduling appointments and such.

I have been a teacher in the public school system. Don't get me

wrong, there are some wonderful people in the schools but there are

also some not so wonderful people and we do not get to choose.

We were also worried about the stigma - especially since we are in a

very small town where it seems nothing is a secret.

My son has responded wonderfully to homeschooling and gets much more

done in a day than he ever got done in a week at public school.

Anyway, I'm not promoting this as " THE " way to go - I'm just sharing

a similar experience and how we have handled it.

We were just very skeptical of the " systems " ability to handle the

situation in a way that was in the best interest of our son.

Just some thoughts.

>

> Hi, all. In the ongoing saga of my daughter's rough transition to

middle school just at the exact same time that her Zoloft stopped

working (argh!), my husband and I are now discussing whether or not to

" tell the school " that has OCD. Her OCD has NEVER been

suspected in elementary school. She's always been a model student and

received high praise for her academics and social behavior. Suddenly,

in middle school, she's missing assignments, not making eye contact

with teachers, constantly complaining about how " mean " everyone is,

getting lower grades than we thought she could ... and in the

meantime, her home-based rituals are taking more and more time.

Usually, I don't see her in her school environment, so I don't know if

she's been doing any rituals (evening up, tapping, repetitive stuff)

there, and don't know if her main teachers have noticed anything

(other than that she's late every day).

>

> I've seen so many posts that indicate great responses on the part

of the schools and teachers when they learn about the OCD. 's

behaviors never interfered with school before, and although her OCD

seems severe at home, it isn't in public. But maybe she's giving out

a weird vibe (I noticed that the SSRI and now Anafranil take the edge

off of her anxiety about getting everything perfect - maybe she's

getting sloppy???) that is interfering with her making the same

impression at this school that she has made previously.

>

> My husband hates the idea of telling the school. He thinks that

some federal or state laws will kick in and force us into special

plans, interventions, etc. I don't know enough about it to know if

that would happen or not (we're in California).

>

> would not like the stigma of the school knowing about her

condition. Especially one of her current teachers, who is emotional

and sort of a loose cannon.

>

> Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros

and cons of letting the school know?

>

> Thanks!

> M.

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Sponsored Link

>

> Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors,

Masters, Associates. Top schools

>

>

[Guest guest]

we're just starting all that but it feels good to know legally they

must do what she needs

eileen

Quoting jtlt@...:

>

> In a message dated 11/15/2006 3:01:32 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> ocdisordermom@... writes:

>

> Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros and cons of

> letting the school know?

>

>

>

>

> We never had to involve the school system with our daughter's OCD. We

> decided early on that unless things got SO bad, that she was unable

> to perform at

> school, we would say nothing. Records are kept & kids are " labeled "

> - that's

> just how it is. Some places are worse than others, some are really great

> about the whole thing - others are a total nightmare. It just

> depends on your

> particular school district & school.

>

> What I can speak from experience about are two topics you brought up - the

> transition from elementary to middle school, and a child who was

> performing at

> a top notch level, then having grades drop.

>

> As a result of medication, we learned (much to our surprise) that our

> daughter was suffering with OCD long before the hand washing, etc

> had ever started.

> It was just a form of OCD that we never pinpointed. Nothing seemed weird

> or out of place, she was just a VERY attentive, over-achieving student. She

> got straight A's... she was on the National Junior Honor Society, she spent

> FOREVER doing her homework & working on assignments - everything

> had to be an

> " A " grade. Period. No exceptions. Once she started Prozac, her level of

> stress & worry about school really went down. After all those years, we

> realized it wasn't our daughter who wanted the straight 'A's.... it

> was the OCD

> telling her she HAD to get straight A's. This was a blessing & a curse I

> suppose. Although, to see our child actually have a " normal "

> childhood & actually

> spend time playing with her friends instead of studying & working on

> homework

> & projects until 11pm at night made everything OK with us.

>

> Now she brings home a couple C's along with A's & B's. This is fine with us

> because I remember the day in 8th grade when she brought home her first " B "

> on a report card. I thought was going to have to sedate her - she was

> hysterical - crying - going on & on. I tried to reason with her

> about how a " B " is

> something to be proud of & it's STILL above grade level. She looked at me

> and said, " Mom, you just don't understand - I got a " B " - I might as well be

> failing the class! " (so, you can see where this is an OCD thing &

> not just an

> over-achiever situation.)

>

> As for the transition from elementary to middle - this is difficult for all

> kids. Some handle it better than others - some don't do well at

> all. My son

> (non-ocd) had a horrible time adjusting to middle school. My daughter had

> some difficulties, but no where near as hard a time as my son.

>

> I guess what I'm saying is - don't be too quick to point a finger at OCD as

> the cause of the difficulty your child is having adjusting to

> middle school -

> it really might be a combination of things. And, as for the drop in grades

> (or missing assignments, etc) this could also be a result of meds or therapy

> making her be more relaxed towards that stress & pressure she once felt to

> perform at a higher level.

>

> Just a few thoughts of my own.

> LT

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

If it helps at all, I feel your frustration. In fact, I just got

back from meeting with my son's counselor because he's failing 2 of

his classes. The school's attitude is that he's one of " those " kids

who will just be a drop out, etc. Really, they have given up on him,

actually suggested that since he's failing 2 classes, that maybe he

could do homework for the other class during the other failing

class. They don't understand that it doesn't have anything to do

with missing assignments, it has to do with confidence that their

doing it right, second guessing themselves until they feel utterly

incapable. There is no consideration that he can actually do the

work (which he can do when he's one on one) - but when an OCD'r gets

behind, the overwhelming thoughts and fears keep them from trying

harder to catch up. It's a perpetual motion downward unless someone

intervenes. In our case, the school isn't helping. So, it is up to

my husband and I to seek out the tutors, math labs, and

encouragement that it takes to make our son want to try. I'd

homeschool in a heartbeat if my OCD'r and I didn't butt heads all

the time.

And, in case you are wondering, I did confide to the counselor that

my son has OCD. Unfortunately, it doesn't make a difference in the

way they handle it. Teachers, counselors, and other school officials

just don't know enough or anything about OCD. Had you ever heard of

it before your child was diagnosed? I hadn't, but now I find that I

know more than several counselor's, therapists, and other officials

in my childs life.

Good luck with your child's school, I hope they will do better than

ours has.

Debbie

> >

> > Hi, all. In the ongoing saga of my daughter's rough transition

to

> middle school just at the exact same time that her Zoloft stopped

> working (argh!), my husband and I are now discussing whether or

not to

> " tell the school " that has OCD. Her OCD has NEVER been

> suspected in elementary school. She's always been a model student

and

> received high praise for her academics and social behavior.

Suddenly,

> in middle school, she's missing assignments, not making eye contact

> with teachers, constantly complaining about how " mean " everyone is,

> getting lower grades than we thought she could ... and in the

> meantime, her home-based rituals are taking more and more time.

> Usually, I don't see her in her school environment, so I don't

know if

> she's been doing any rituals (evening up, tapping, repetitive

stuff)

> there, and don't know if her main teachers have noticed anything

> (other than that she's late every day).

> >

> > I've seen so many posts that indicate great responses on the

part

> of the schools and teachers when they learn about the OCD. 's

> behaviors never interfered with school before, and although her OCD

> seems severe at home, it isn't in public. But maybe she's giving

out

> a weird vibe (I noticed that the SSRI and now Anafranil take the

edge

> off of her anxiety about getting everything perfect - maybe she's

> getting sloppy???) that is interfering with her making the same

> impression at this school that she has made previously.

> >

> > My husband hates the idea of telling the school. He thinks

that

> some federal or state laws will kick in and force us into special

> plans, interventions, etc. I don't know enough about it to know if

> that would happen or not (we're in California).

> >

> > would not like the stigma of the school knowing about her

> condition. Especially one of her current teachers, who is

emotional

> and sort of a loose cannon.

> >

> > Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros

> and cons of letting the school know?

> >

> > Thanks!

> > M.

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Sponsored Link

> >

> > Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors,

> Masters, Associates. Top schools

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the kind words! Let me know if there is anything we can

do to help besides being on the board and talkin'...

-

> >

> > Hi, all. In the ongoing saga of my daughter's rough transition to

> middle school just at the exact same time that her Zoloft stopped

> working (argh!), my husband and I are now discussing whether or not to

> " tell the school " that has OCD. Her OCD has NEVER been

> suspected in elementary school. She's always been a model student and

> received high praise for her academics and social behavior. Suddenly,

> in middle school, she's missing assignments, not making eye contact

> with teachers, constantly complaining about how " mean " everyone is,

> getting lower grades than we thought she could ... and in the

> meantime, her home-based rituals are taking more and more time.

> Usually, I don't see her in her school environment, so I don't know if

> she's been doing any rituals (evening up, tapping, repetitive stuff)

> there, and don't know if her main teachers have noticed anything

> (other than that she's late every day).

> >

> > I've seen so many posts that indicate great responses on the part

> of the schools and teachers when they learn about the OCD. 's

> behaviors never interfered with school before, and although her OCD

> seems severe at home, it isn't in public. But maybe she's giving out

> a weird vibe (I noticed that the SSRI and now Anafranil take the edge

> off of her anxiety about getting everything perfect - maybe she's

> getting sloppy???) that is interfering with her making the same

> impression at this school that she has made previously.

> >

> > My husband hates the idea of telling the school. He thinks that

> some federal or state laws will kick in and force us into special

> plans, interventions, etc. I don't know enough about it to know if

> that would happen or not (we're in California).

> >

> > would not like the stigma of the school knowing about her

> condition. Especially one of her current teachers, who is emotional

> and sort of a loose cannon.

> >

> > Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros

> and cons of letting the school know?

> >

> > Thanks!

> > M.

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Sponsored Link

> >

> > Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors,

> Masters, Associates. Top schools

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Just wanted to add a thought here ...

Debbie says that school folks won't know enough or anything about

OCD... We cannot seem to find psychologists / psychiatrists that are

up-to-date on this illness. Moreover, this seems like a common

refrain on this message board. Just like with professional help, I

think you can expect to spend time educating the educators.

Plus, let me tell you about teaching from a former teachers

perspective. Lets say a teacher teaches four classes of 25 students a

day. That is 100 students each day. 100 assignments, projects,

quizzes and grades to administer. Teachers are informed about

students with an IEP and are supposed to accomodate any special needs.

For me at least, I always had several IEPs per classroom. So, lets

say that out of your 100 students a day you have to give consideration

to 12 students (all of whom are probably dealing with different

things). From a teachers perspective it can be overwhelming. Even

the best teachers, with the best intentions and the biggest hearts

struggle with such a challenge. ly, some teachers do not care.

When I was teaching, there was a young lady that showed a great talent

in a particular area and really wanted to go to college. This girl

had an IEP... she did great work but did it slowly... I helped the

girl get a locally sponsored scholarship to a 2 year college (she

would never have gone otherwise). I got comments from other teachers

to the effect that the scholarship money was wasted on this girl and

could have gone to someone more deserving.

Anyway, if you cannot tell, I have a high level of disdain for public

school.

If you tell the school, make an effort to meet every teacher,

counselor, principal, etc. Make sure they understand OCD.

> > >

> > > Hi, all. In the ongoing saga of my daughter's rough transition

> to

> > middle school just at the exact same time that her Zoloft stopped

> > working (argh!), my husband and I are now discussing whether or

> not to

> > " tell the school " that has OCD. Her OCD has NEVER been

> > suspected in elementary school. She's always been a model student

> and

> > received high praise for her academics and social behavior.

> Suddenly,

> > in middle school, she's missing assignments, not making eye contact

> > with teachers, constantly complaining about how " mean " everyone is,

> > getting lower grades than we thought she could ... and in the

> > meantime, her home-based rituals are taking more and more time.

> > Usually, I don't see her in her school environment, so I don't

> know if

> > she's been doing any rituals (evening up, tapping, repetitive

> stuff)

> > there, and don't know if her main teachers have noticed anything

> > (other than that she's late every day).

> > >

> > > I've seen so many posts that indicate great responses on the

> part

> > of the schools and teachers when they learn about the OCD. 's

> > behaviors never interfered with school before, and although her OCD

> > seems severe at home, it isn't in public. But maybe she's giving

> out

> > a weird vibe (I noticed that the SSRI and now Anafranil take the

> edge

> > off of her anxiety about getting everything perfect - maybe she's

> > getting sloppy???) that is interfering with her making the same

> > impression at this school that she has made previously.

> > >

> > > My husband hates the idea of telling the school. He thinks

> that

> > some federal or state laws will kick in and force us into special

> > plans, interventions, etc. I don't know enough about it to know if

> > that would happen or not (we're in California).

> > >

> > > would not like the stigma of the school knowing about her

> > condition. Especially one of her current teachers, who is

> emotional

> > and sort of a loose cannon.

> > >

> > > Any advice from veterans of the OCD battles? What are the pros

> > and cons of letting the school know?

> > >

> > > Thanks!

> > > M.

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Sponsored Link

> > >

> > > Degrees for working adults in as fast as 1 year. Bachelors,

> > Masters, Associates. Top schools

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Re schools and OCD, was in 6th grade when it began (now in

12th). In my first meeting with the school after I had the diagnoses

for dysgraphia and, I thought, OCD, there were me and 2...maybe 3

others. The only thing they knew about OCD was handwashing and germs

type. Well, let's re-phrase: the counselor said she had known of one

boy in elementary school who couldn't stand germs, shaking hands for

instance, and would want to wash. But his parents put him on

medication and he was fine!

Here was with all this " other " OCD stuff popping up. So

basically I had to educate them and tell them just to take my word

for it as to what was OCD.

What the school did seem familiar with was the dysgraphia. " Oh,

dysgraphia! Well, he'll need.... " Fortunately for us, a lot of the

things that went with dysgraphia fell in with what he needed for his

OCD. He needed more time for assignments, less writing, they

couldn't take into consideration any illegibility re writing (teacher

re-wrote/copies his state writing test for him), just different

things.

As a note: MUCH later (8th or 9th grade?) when I got a copy of the

neurologist's report sent to the school in 6th grade, it had the

diagnosis of dysgraphia. OCD was only mentioned somewhere in the

report, as showing symptoms. He didn't put an official diagnosis

down! However when I left that appt with the neuro that time, I

copied down the diagnosis codes on the paper I was to give at the

front desk, and looked them up when I got back to work; and they were

for the dysgraphia and OCD. But the official " report " didn't have

OCD down as a diagnosis. Anyway, the school never said anything to

me about that; of course, was showing all kinds of problems,

figure they just took my word for it too.

>

> ,

>

> If it helps at all, I feel your frustration. In fact, I just got

> back from meeting with my son's counselor because he's failing 2 of

> his classes. The school's attitude is that he's one of " those " kids

> who will just be a drop out, etc. Really, they have given up on

him,

> actually suggested that since he's failing 2 classes, that maybe he

> could do homework for the other class during the other failing

> class. They don't understand that it doesn't have anything to do

> with missing assignments, it has to do with confidence that their

> doing it right, second guessing themselves until they feel utterly

> incapable. There is no consideration that he can actually do the

> work (which he can do when he's one on one) - but when an OCD'r

gets

> behind, the overwhelming thoughts and fears keep them from trying

> harder to catch up. It's a perpetual motion downward unless someone

> intervenes. In our case, the school isn't helping. So, it is up to

> my husband and I to seek out the tutors, math labs, and

> encouragement that it takes to make our son want to try. I'd

> homeschool in a heartbeat if my OCD'r and I didn't butt heads all

> the time.

>

> And, in case you are wondering, I did confide to the counselor that

> my son has OCD. Unfortunately, it doesn't make a difference in the

> way they handle it. Teachers, counselors, and other school

officials

> just don't know enough or anything about OCD. Had you ever heard of

> it before your child was diagnosed? I hadn't, but now I find that I

> know more than several counselor's, therapists, and other officials

> in my childs life.

>

> Good luck with your child's school, I hope they will do better than

> ours has.

>

> Debbie

>