Re: seeking advice for 5-year-old w/ OCD & anxiety

[Guest guest]

Ben also stresses out with making choices. I've noticed that a lot lately. I

think I would maybe approach them if it seems necessary, but then bring in some

info. when I taught first grade, I remember a mom telling me her son had OCD,

but I don't remember seeing anything to indicate it. Of course, I didn't know

anything about it at the time, so it wasn't like I knew what to do. It wasn't

an issue. It came up in the middle of the year. Looking back, I wish I would

have had some info to work with for him. I had a pretty laid back classroom in

a magnet school, no chairs, we sat on the floor, lots of fun stuff to do. I do

remember her saying that my classroom was a good environment for him, but she

was worried about him the next year. I have to say, I've thought about him

since this came up with my son. Looking back, I do see what she was talking

about. He was very anxious and nervous and did miss a lot. But, again, I was

given nothing on children and OCD. I wish I had. So, if you bring it to their

attention, bring info.

My son is seven and has always been anxious. We use deep breathing, that works

well and we try and use humor. We haven't had to use meds at this point, so I

don't have info there. He also has bad thought type and is in remission right

now or waning or something, but he is much better. I'm tired and not making

much sense, but I hope you get my main points.

I would love to have a support group, but don't have one right now.

Remaining calm when he is freaking out is key. Take care.

& Ben

The Dragon's Cove Academy

http://www.dragonscoveacademy.blogspot.com/

seeking advice for 5-year-old w/ OCD & anxiety

My 5-year-old son was diagnosed last winter with OCD, mainly bad-

thoughts OCD. We have been seeing a wonderful psychologist who

treats kids with OCD. My son's symptoms seemed to improve for

awhile, but with the start of kindergarten, they are appearing more

frequently. In addition to an increase in the OCD, he has anxious

behavior. For example, when given a choice between 2 snacks he is

very distressed over what to choose. He often ends up in a tantrum,

screaming and crying like a 2-year-old. In fact, when he was 2-3 he

did not act like this at all. It is very distressing for him (and

for us because we feel helpless).

I have several questions for you:

(1) We have not told the school about the OCD and are wondering if

we should. We have never been given any indication from his school

(or previous preschool) that there are problems, but I would assume

his anxious behaviors carry over even if he masks his OCD there.

Any thoughts on whether or not to tell? I'm concerned about the

school labeling him if there is no problematic behavior. On the

other hand, I feel like we should all work as a team to help him.

If I do tell the school, any advice on how to approach this with his

teacher?

(2) How do you handle general anxiety with such a young child? I

generally know how to confront the OCD but this general anxiety is

throwing me for a loop.

(3) When do you decide if medicine is appropriate? Is 5-years-old

too young?

(4) Do any of you have local support groups you attend? Are they

helpful?

Sorry for the long post. Looking forward to your response.

[Guest guest]

,

For me my son had a very hard year last year and he did not have the

diagnoses of OCD yet. This year we had a very hard start and now he is doing

really great. I think part of his success this year is that we did tell the

teacher, actually my son wanted to tell the teacher, we went together to

tell her. He had some days where he missed school because of his fear of

storms, and called to come home from school. Because of this, we told the

secretary and principal. Anyway, I just don't' see any harm in telling the

school. I keep hearing how people are afraid to have this on their childs

record. Who looks at that record? Why does it matter? The point is to help

your child be as successful as possible. I think telling my sons school has

made him more comfortable there to know that they understand and know. The

secret is out. Fortunately, his teacher is great! She really understands all

this and is working with us. She told me last week, when it is a bad weather

day, she knows to make a announcement early in the day just for my son that

they wouldn't be going to recess. She noticed it made a huge difference for

him to be able to focus and work during the morning.

I think for us we have had a whole team at work which has been exciting. The

psychologist, the pediatrician, me, and teacher. In my opinion, the more

people involved the better.

Good luck!

Adele

_____

(1) We have not told the school about the OCD and are wondering if

we should. We have never been given any indication from his school

(or previous preschool) that there are problems, but I would assume

his anxious behaviors carry over even if he masks his OCD there.

Any thoughts on whether or not to tell? I'm concerned about the

school labeling him if there is no problematic behavior. On the

other hand, I feel like we should all work as a team to help him.

If I do tell the school, any advice on how to approach this with his

teacher?

(2) How do you handle general anxiety with such a young child? I

generally know how to confront the OCD but this general anxiety is

throwing me for a loop.

(3) When do you decide if medicine is appropriate? Is 5-years-old

too young?

(4) Do any of you have local support groups you attend? Are they

helpful?

Sorry for the long post. Looking forward to your response.

[Guest guest]

Hi -- I would absolutely tell the teachers. They will have much more

compassion for him that way, instead of considering his behavior to be

obstinate or

something like that. I bring it up with my kids' teachers every year. That

flow of info is very important. My OCD girls are 11 and 14.5. I wish I had

known at 5 yrs what was going on. I used to just think my now 14.5 y.o. was

just being stubborn when she would absolutely refuse to mind in certain

situations. It drove me out of my mind! I'd get so mad at her -- had I

realized

there was a reason, I'm sure I'd have had more patience. I can't help but

think that the teachers will be the same way.

Re: meds.... both my girls started meds at 10 yrs. The change was very

welcome. Go with your gut and with what your doctor suggests. Good luck!

Suzanne in CA

[Guest guest]

Our experience with our now-11yo daughter (9yo at time of dx) is that this kind

of behavior is OCD. In fact, it is one of the primary ways in which her OCD

manifests itself. She has an extreme need for reassurance such that she doesn't

trust her own decisions on even the most trivial of things. One of the first

things that happened along the route to full-blown OCD was her absolute

inability one Sunday afternoon to decide whether she should zip her backpack

after I had her put something in it for Monday. As you said, total tantrum when

I insisted that she decide. So, to answer your question, now that we know what

it is we are constantly using a refrain along the lines of " it's up to you, you

decide. "

As for the medication question, I can't say at what age meds are appropriate.

But I can say that my daughter was virtually non-functional until we got her on

the right meds at something approaching the right dose (currently 60 mg Prozac

daily).

I hope this helps.

P.

kkmoller <kkmoller@...> wrote:

In addition to an increase in the OCD, he has anxious

behavior. For example, when given a choice between 2 snacks he is

very distressed over what to choose. He often ends up in a tantrum,

screaming and crying like a 2-year-old. In fact, when he was 2-3 he

did not act like this at all. It is very distressing for him (and

for us because we feel helpless).

(2) How do you handle general anxiety with such a young child? I

generally know how to confront the OCD but this general anxiety is

throwing me for a loop.

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[Guest guest]

I agree with telling the more people the better - either my dd was

hiding or maybe had no anxiety last year in school but thank GOD I let

them know because it is just crazy there lately - getting into a better

time here - but school is just too much right now - no meds here and

this is my support group basically - it is great here

good luck

Eileen

Quoting Adele Mahan <adelem@...>:

> ,

>

> For me my son had a very hard year last year and he did not have the

> diagnoses of OCD yet. This year we had a very hard start and now he is doing

> really great. I think part of his success this year is that we did tell the

> teacher, actually my son wanted to tell the teacher, we went together to

> tell her. He had some days where he missed school because of his fear of

> storms, and called to come home from school. Because of this, we told the

> secretary and principal. Anyway, I just don't' see any harm in telling the

> school. I keep hearing how people are afraid to have this on their childs

> record. Who looks at that record? Why does it matter? The point is to help

> your child be as successful as possible. I think telling my sons school has

> made him more comfortable there to know that they understand and know. The

> secret is out. Fortunately, his teacher is great! She really understands all

> this and is working with us. She told me last week, when it is a bad weather

> day, she knows to make a announcement early in the day just for my son that

> they wouldn't be going to recess. She noticed it made a huge difference for

> him to be able to focus and work during the morning.

>

>

>

> I think for us we have had a whole team at work which has been exciting. The

> psychologist, the pediatrician, me, and teacher. In my opinion, the more

> people involved the better.

>

> Good luck!

>

> Adele

>

>

>

> _____

>

>

> (1) We have not told the school about the OCD and are wondering if

> we should. We have never been given any indication from his school

> (or previous preschool) that there are problems, but I would assume

> his anxious behaviors carry over even if he masks his OCD there.

> Any thoughts on whether or not to tell? I'm concerned about the

> school labeling him if there is no problematic behavior. On the

> other hand, I feel like we should all work as a team to help him.

> If I do tell the school, any advice on how to approach this with his

> teacher?

>

> (2) How do you handle general anxiety with such a young child? I

> generally know how to confront the OCD but this general anxiety is

> throwing me for a loop.

>

> (3) When do you decide if medicine is appropriate? Is 5-years-old

> too young?

>

> (4) Do any of you have local support groups you attend? Are they

> helpful?

>

> Sorry for the long post. Looking forward to your response.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I, too, agree. Tell the school just as you would if there were a medical

condition. There really is no stigma with mental illness anymore - it is so

common. Last year when I told my son's teacher about his OCD, she actually

opened up that she had OCD also. I never would have known.

I also told his middle school teacher this year, but asked her not to share

with other teachers on his team because he is not having problems right now.

Now I was concerned sharing this at the middle school level a little bit because

my son wanted to be on the basketball team and I questioned if the coach knew,

would he be more reluctant to let him on the team if there were another player

equally as good (like would he have to deal with issues he didn't have time to

deal with?) - but again, if he were having problems right now, I would have a

meeting with all of his teachers and discuss it. He is more important to me

than any teacher and what they may or may not think, but I have found the

schools to be extremely supportive and helpful in any way they can be.

Good luck!

" autumn71A@... " <autumn71A@...> wrote:

I agree with telling the more people the better - either my dd was

hiding or maybe had no anxiety last year in school but thank GOD I let

them know because it is just crazy there lately - getting into a better

time here - but school is just too much right now - no meds here and

this is my support group basically - it is great here

good luck

Eileen

Quoting Adele Mahan <adelem@...>:

> ,

>

> For me my son had a very hard year last year and he did not have the

> diagnoses of OCD yet. This year we had a very hard start and now he is doing

> really great. I think part of his success this year is that we did tell the

> teacher, actually my son wanted to tell the teacher, we went together to

> tell her. He had some days where he missed school because of his fear of

> storms, and called to come home from school. Because of this, we told the

> secretary and principal. Anyway, I just don't' see any harm in telling the

> school. I keep hearing how people are afraid to have this on their childs

> record. Who looks at that record? Why does it matter? The point is to help

> your child be as successful as possible. I think telling my sons school has

> made him more comfortable there to know that they understand and know. The

> secret is out. Fortunately, his teacher is great! She really understands all

> this and is working with us. She told me last week, when it is a bad weather

> day, she knows to make a announcement early in the day just for my son that

> they wouldn't be going to recess. She noticed it made a huge difference for

> him to be able to focus and work during the morning.

>

>

>

> I think for us we have had a whole team at work which has been exciting. The

> psychologist, the pediatrician, me, and teacher. In my opinion, the more

> people involved the better.

>

> Good luck!

>

> Adele

>

>

>

> _____

>

>

> (1) We have not told the school about the OCD and are wondering if

> we should. We have never been given any indication from his school

> (or previous preschool) that there are problems, but I would assume

> his anxious behaviors carry over even if he masks his OCD there.

> Any thoughts on whether or not to tell? I'm concerned about the

> school labeling him if there is no problematic behavior. On the

> other hand, I feel like we should all work as a team to help him.

> If I do tell the school, any advice on how to approach this with his

> teacher?

>

> (2) How do you handle general anxiety with such a young child? I

> generally know how to confront the OCD but this general anxiety is

> throwing me for a loop.

>

> (3) When do you decide if medicine is appropriate? Is 5-years-old

> too young?

>

> (4) Do any of you have local support groups you attend? Are they

> helpful?

>

> Sorry for the long post. Looking forward to your response.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Making decisions can be difficult for some OCDers. Can't have any

doubt, have to be sure, or any number of things can be causing this.

My son (17) also had trouble with decisions. However he also has

Aspergers Syndrome (on the autism spectrum, is mild) and I wasn't

always sure in situations if it was some OCD problem or some Aspie

thing that kept him from making a decision.

Since your son is in therapy, he probably has an understanding of his

OCD? Does he have a name for his OCD (Mr. Bossy or Worry or

something) like some people will give it? You might comment in those

situations that, " Mr. Bossy isn't letting you choose again? What

should you do? " and have him just boss back and make a choice! Just

a thought there.

Now I have to confess that when my son was in such a situation, I

just made the decision for him if I bothered letting him have a

choice in the first place. Yes, I tried to avoid even getting into

his having to decide things. But I can say that he now is making

decisions on his own, I don't know if this is just age/maturity or

OCD not bothering him in that area or what (there is still that Aspie

part of him). He still seems hesitant sometimes but I can leave it

up to him to make it, and even a choice of " neither " or doing nothing

is still a choice he made; he's older than your son so I don't feel

quite so bad for his suffering the consequences. (Yes, as my sons

got older it was easier for me to feel less guilty for forcing some

things; they're not as cute anymore and realized that I'm imperfect,

don't have all the answers, etc., unlike when kids are younger.)

My son's OCD became a problem in 6th grade and it really did affect

school. So of course we sought their help too. I think since you've

seen his anxiety and symptoms increase with school beginning, then I

would just set up a meeting with the teacher and you can tell her to

make her aware of the situation so she can be on the lookout for any

symptoms at school and let you know. So *this* wouldn't be on any

record the school keeps, an afterschool talk with the teacher. You

can mention at home he has difficulty with choices, that might carry

over to some school task easily. Or if keeping busy helps him ignore

or not have idle time for " bad thoughts " to bother him, then she

might find things for him to do around the room for her, etc. You

don't have to get into detail about what bad thoughts he's having,

you could take some short info you find on OCD & bad thoughts and

just let her read it while you're there, stating that is an example

of what OCD can be but doesn't all apply to your son (I say that as

my son has bad thoughts and shares practically none with me so I

really don't know what all he's thinking.)

Hopefully you won't ever reach a point that OCD is really interfering

at school, but if you do, don't worry about having him labeled. I

haven't found that to be a problem at all but a great help. It

doesn't follow them through life or career. And he has done so well

at times that many teachers have commented they don't understand why

he has a Plan. The ups and downs of OCD with my son, that waxing &

waning. But actually he hasn't used his Plan we set up for him in

high school at all that I know of; he's a senior. We did use his

Plan all through middle school though.

Many kids your son's age are on medication. Not everyone needs it.

It's that " individual " thing as to how bad OCD is. Since he's in

therapy though, I would talk to the therapist about medication as

many can get by just with therapy; see how he thinks your son is

doing.

Well, just some quick thoughts! This group has been my best support

since all this began. Our little rural type county doesn't have any

OCD support groups, actually no OCD therapists either.

single mom, 3 sons

, 17, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

, 17-twin (not identical)

Randall, 21

>

> My 5-year-old son was diagnosed last winter with OCD, mainly bad-

> thoughts OCD. We have been seeing a wonderful psychologist who

> treats kids with OCD. My son's symptoms seemed to improve for

> awhile, but with the start of kindergarten, they are appearing more

> frequently. In addition to an increase in the OCD, he has anxious

> behavior. For example, when given a choice between 2 snacks he is

> very distressed over what to choose. He often ends up in a

tantrum,

> screaming and crying like a 2-year-old. In fact, when he was 2-3

he

[Guest guest]

1) my own personal feeling is YES tell the school. they will not label, no one

will know that doesnt need to know. the only thing that can happen is that they

can help him, if he needs it. depending on how he does at school, he may

qualify for extra help or accomidations to help him be more successful in

school. i figure, i will take all the help i can get! i know i want my dd's

teachers knowing, so they can offer any advise or suggestions that could

possibly help her at school, or at home. as for how to tell, i would set up a

meeting with the teacher and just tell him/her. i would let the teacher know

the issues your ds has at home, in public, or how it might effect him in school.

if you are lucky, he may show no signs at school at all. BUT, wouldnt it be

helpful if the teacher knew what was going on if he did show signs at school?

2) depends on the anxiety. my dd is 5 and was dx with ocd and anxiety about a

year ago. how we deal with the anxiety depends on what it is, the situation,

etc. she does the same thing with choices, has a hard time making the " right "

choice. she used to want me to make it for her, but I wont. then she would ask

me after she decided, wanting to know what i would have chosen. i just tell her

something like both would have been great choices and i would be happy with

either one.

3) our dd is not on meds, but i know other people who do have kids that young on

meds. MY THOUGHT on meds is if therapy and other things dont work and it is

effecting her daily life, yes, I want her on meds.

4) i have not found anything in my area, but honestly havent looked too hard.

i get all my questions answered here. :0)

sharon

seeking advice for 5-year-old w/ OCD & anxiety

My 5-year-old son was diagnosed last winter with OCD, mainly bad-

thoughts OCD. We have been seeing a wonderful psychologist who

treats kids with OCD. My son's symptoms seemed to improve for

awhile, but with the start of kindergarten, they are appearing more

frequently. In addition to an increase in the OCD, he has anxious

behavior. For example, when given a choice between 2 snacks he is

very distressed over what to choose. He often ends up in a tantrum,

screaming and crying like a 2-year-old. In fact, when he was 2-3 he

did not act like this at all. It is very distressing for him (and

for us because we feel helpless).

I have several questions for you:

(1) We have not told the school about the OCD and are wondering if

we should. We have never been given any indication from his school

(or previous preschool) that there are problems, but I would assume

his anxious behaviors carry over even if he masks his OCD there.

Any thoughts on whether or not to tell? I'm concerned about the

school labeling him if there is no problematic behavior. On the

other hand, I feel like we should all work as a team to help him.

If I do tell the school, any advice on how to approach this with his

teacher?

(2) How do you handle general anxiety with such a young child? I

generally know how to confront the OCD but this general anxiety is

throwing me for a loop.

(3) When do you decide if medicine is appropriate? Is 5-years-old

too young?

(4) Do any of you have local support groups you attend? Are they

helpful?

Sorry for the long post. Looking forward to your response.