Re: A question for working parents

[Guest guest]

Hi . My daughter has had a difficult time with both OCD and depression.

When her issues are out of control, she has a very difficult time getting to

school. She is 15, but if she were younger, I would probably need to take a

leave of absence when this happens. In her case, she usually needs a med change,

and for her, that usually makes a huge difference. I agree with , who said

it depends on how the OCD presents. For my daughter, getting to school is

very often affected. It sounds like getting to school is a problem for your

child

as well. How do her symptoms manifest? Mine usually can make it, until the

depression kicks in. It isn't an easy battle, but my daughter does great, as

long as all her meds are still working well. Good luck. Kim

In a message dated 11/12/2006 5:14:40 PM Central Standard Time,

bamama48@... writes:

As the severity of my daughter's illness grows, I am finding that I am

missing work more and more. It's getting more difficult to get her to go to

school

or to stay in school the whole day. I'm wondering and worrying about where this

is going. How did you manage in the beginning? Should I be making plans to be

a stay-at-home-mom till things get, hopefully, more settled? I really don't

like the extra stress of putting more of a burdon on my co-workers, or letting

my own patients down because of the time I need to take off. I'd appreciate

some input!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/12/2006 6:13:52 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, ba

mama48@... writes:

As the severity of my daughter's illness grows, I am finding that I am

missing work more and more. It's getting more difficult to get her to go to

school

or to stay in school the whole day. I'm wondering and worrying about where

this is going. How did you manage in the beginning?

I guess the real question should be - are you able to quit? Luckily, we

were in a position (financially) where I could quit my job. I only worked part

time, but it was a very demanding position & even though only " part time " -

it was one of those PT jobs that took about 30-38 hours a week!

Anyway, my husband & I decided that the less stress there was in our family

life, the better we could deal with the OCD issues. It was especially hard

on me because of the type of OCD issues my dd had (most were bathroom related

- showering, going to the bathroom, getting dressed, etc) and I was the only

other female in the family, so it really fell 95% on my shoulders to help her

through her days/evenings.

If quitting is going to cause more stress & trouble for your family due to

the decrease in income - then I don't know if that would be the best way to

go. It's truly a personal decision & you and your family have to decide what

will work best for you.

I do understand how hard it is to try & work AND come home and deal with

OCD... especially when it interferes with your day because of school issues. I

was fortunate in that my dd's OCD never interfered with school before we got

it under control with meds. She did have hard days - afraid to go to the

bathroom all day, for fear someone would see her washing or question why she

was

in there so long (she would miss nearly 30 minutes of class just to go pee!

Also, she would never sit her bottom on a chair, so she spent all day long

sitting on her leg so she wouldn't contaminate the chair. She would be so

stiff & sore when she got home some days!

Ok, enough said.

LT

[Guest guest]

I guess it would depend on how your daughter presents. For ours (then just-9 and

nearing the end of 2nd grade, now 11 and in 5th grade), it was mostly a major

need for reassurance leading to incessant questions about even the most minute

details of activity. We were fortunate enough to have a school and teachers who

genuinely seem to care about her, so she was given a 1:1 aide in order to have

someone to direct her questions to. I would not have been able to be a SAHM for

financial reasons, so working something out to keep her in school was essential.

I hope you are able to find a solution that works for your family.

P.

L <bamama48@...> wrote:

Hi all!

As the severity of my daughter's illness grows, I am finding that I am missing

work more and more. It's getting more difficult to get her to go to school or to

stay in school the whole day. I'm wondering and worrying about where this is

going. How did you manage in the beginning? Should I be making plans to be a

stay-at-home-mom till things get, hopefully, more settled? I really don't like

the extra stress of putting more of a burdon on my co-workers, or letting my own

patients down because of the time I need to take off. I'd appreciate some input!

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I too am finding it hard to work with all the issues my son is

having. My son presents well in school for the most part, but I have

found that the teachers and staff at the school are terrific when he

becomes difficult.

I, though, am blessed with a school I would sell my soul to keep my

son in for the rest of his life. What are her issues in school? is it

something that the teachers can work with? Is it something they are

willing to work with? I would highly suggest a case manager for your

child in school to help navigate the system if you do not already have

one.

I had to stay out of the workforce for two years to help my son out

with his issues, and had to find a very understanding boss when I did

go back. I still face issues with my work, but they know that my child

is special needs and sometimes will let me work from home. I don't know

if that is a possibility for you. I wish you the best of luck!

monica

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I too am finding it hard to work with all the issues my son is

having. My son presents well in school for the most part, but I have

found that the teachers and staff at the school are terrific when he

becomes difficult.

I, though, am blessed with a school I would sell my soul to keep my

son in for the rest of his life. What are her issues in school? is it

something that the teachers can work with? Is it something they are

willing to work with? I would highly suggest a case manager for your

child in school to help navigate the system if you do not already have

one.

I had to stay out of the workforce for two years to help my son out

with his issues, and had to find a very understanding boss when I did

go back. I still face issues with my work, but they know that my child

is special needs and sometimes will let me work from home. I don't know

if that is a possibility for you. I wish you the best of luck!

monica

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have worked for the same optometrist for the past 9 years. When

the OCD was first recognized and my daughter was doing so poorly I

spoke honestly with him about it. He would let me sneak out to go

pick her up if she was running late etc. I also gave my work mate a

few more of my hours too so that I was working more like 3/4 time.

He was very understanding and always asked about how she was doing.

We were able to manage at home with me working fewer hours.

Recently he has decided to close his clinic in our small town, he

has a practise in the city as well. He was so apologetic because he

thought he was really letting me down. I told him that this was just

good timing as I often wish I could be home. November 30th is my

last day and I am feeling relieved. My daughter is doing better with

meds but only still at a low dose and although it helps with

depression and anxiety, it does nothing for the OCD yet. We have a

long way to go with her therapy. Sometimes I think that this lay off

is god lending a hand and telling me where I should be right now. I

know my daughter is very happy about it as I am the one she leans on

the most.

Hopefully you will find a solution that works well for the both of

you. Like I said, going 3/4 time did help.

Take care,

Kim M

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/12/2006 9:30:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

missmeowza@... writes:

When

the OCD was first recognized and my daughter was doing so poorly I

spoke honestly with him about it. He would let me sneak out to go

pick her up if she was running late etc. I also gave my work mate a

few more of my hours too so that I was working more like 3/4 time.

He was very understanding and always asked about how she was doing.

-

This is so true - I also just explained honestly to my boss what was going

on. As I said before, my job was very demanding & with all the emotional

stress at home, I found myself sometimes completely breaking down at work (to

the

point of tears sometimes) so I really almost HAD to say something.... I

think they were planning to drag me away in a padded truck if I didn't!!!!

UGH!!!! Luckily I worked in an all-female office - all moms, they were WAY

understanding & extremely supporting.

LT

[Guest guest]

I was working part time and had to give up as was having so much time of

school - now I am homeschooling him. Financially it is really hard as I am a

solo mum but we do manage.

Cheers Jaxx (New Zealand)

[Guest guest]

I started my own business when Ben was 2.5. I am a children's party planner, so

I mostly work on weekends. We did this so I could homeschool. We had made that

decision before OCD came to town. But, luckily we did. Homeschooling feels like

a must now rather than a choice. I have reduced the number of parties I do,

since dh went back to work, so that I have more time with him. I'm cutting back

now, because I get the sense that a storm is brewing. That's one nice thing

about having my own business, I can control the workload somewhat. Dh was laid

off in the spring right when this all hit, and we decided to use his time with

severance for him to stay home and help with the crisis. So, the last time

things were bad, we both were home, this time that won't be the case, it'll just

be me. And dh has just started his new job, so the bulk needs to be me. So, far

though its at bay, but little things are creeping back.

I would say that if you can be home, financially and emotionally, then you

should. But try and continue having something for yourself if you can. A hobby

or something that you can go to when you need a break. Take care.

J

Re: Re: A question for working parents

In a message dated 11/12/2006 9:30:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

missmeowza@... writes:

When

the OCD was first recognized and my daughter was doing so poorly I

spoke honestly with him about it. He would let me sneak out to go

pick her up if she was running late etc. I also gave my work mate a

few more of my hours too so that I was working more like 3/4 time.

He was very understanding and always asked about how she was doing.

-

This is so true - I also just explained honestly to my boss what was going

on. As I said before, my job was very demanding & with all the emotional

stress at home, I found myself sometimes completely breaking down at work (to

the

point of tears sometimes) so I really almost HAD to say something.... I

think they were planning to drag me away in a padded truck if I didn't!!!!

UGH!!!! Luckily I worked in an all-female office - all moms, they were WAY

understanding & extremely supporting.

LT