Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 In a message dated 9/29/2006 7:27:42 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, sabcla15@... writes: The Neurologist also said that he would expect her to have symptoms in school but in school everything is fine so far. My dd wants to follow the rules and is more a quiet child. I feel somehow like a " bad mom " because she does everything at home and at school o.k.. Do you have the same experience? Sabcla I would venture a guess that your Neurologist doesn't have a full understanding of OCD. It's not uncommon for kids to hold together in front of other people (school, friends, etc) and then fall apart at home (home - considered their " safe place " where they don't have to be on guard all the time.) For instance, my dd who has contamination issues (spreading her germs to others) and won't wear the same article of clothing twice (even a jacket) without it being washed.... made life at home for me MISERABLE with the amount of laundry and clothes falling apart at the seems from over-washing. Yet, at school she would put on the same smelly, sweaty, nasty gym clothes for an entire week & not have a problem with it. It made me CRAZY until the folks on this board explained that to me.... kids will do a lot to hold it together in front of peers, etc. LT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 I think that most kids do this, even kids with OCD. Don't feel like a bad parent. You are a great parent for seeking help for your child! Don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise. Many many of our kids do fairly well in school and then explode when they get home. That's just the way it is. Kelley in NV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 Our dd still holds everything together in school, but at home it is very difficult. The Neurologist also said that he would expect her to have symptoms in school but in school everything is fine so far. My dd wants to follow the rules and is more a quiet child. I feel somehow like a " bad mom " because she does everything at home and at school o.k.. Do you have the same experience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 My kids are all that way. My daughter (9) who has ocd, bipolar, etc, etc, would be great all day at school than come home and literally rage until bedtime. It was a nightmare! That is very common! They hold it together all day, than let loose for the one they feel closest to, (((mom)))) It doesn't mean they are not experiencing problems in school, they just don't tell anyone and hold it all in. They don't want to appear " different " hugs Judy sabcla15 <sabcla15@...> wrote: Our dd still holds everything together in school, but at home it is very difficult. The Neurologist also said that he would expect her to have symptoms in school but in school everything is fine so far. My dd wants to follow the rules and is more a quiet child. I feel somehow like a " bad mom " because she does everything at home and at school o.k.. Do you have the same experience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 NO not a bad mom, at all! It is pretty common for kids (with all different issues) to hold it together at school, but then to lose it at home. They feel safe at home, they know you will love them no matter what, so home is safe, comfortable, they are able to let loose. You have made her feel safe and comfortable at home, so that is a good thing! So far my dd has been the same (she is only 5 and in preschool 3 days a week, so we will see how it goes as she gets older), great at school, but really losing it at home (this week, the past 2 weeks were great, this week she has lost it every day). Sharon Forgot a Question Our dd still holds everything together in school, but at home it is very difficult. The Neurologist also said that he would expect her to have symptoms in school but in school everything is fine so far. My dd wants to follow the rules and is more a quiet child. I feel somehow like a " bad mom " because she does everything at home and at school o.k.. Do you have the same experience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 I've always felt we were her safe place and that it must be tough to hold it together at school but she's busy there and said sometimes she feels like she doesn't have ocd there??? but talking to her more this morning it sounds more defiant than OCD (maybe she can't tell???) should I believe her and punish her??????? - you're right judy -it's never easy eileen ps welcome becky - hope you find your answers soon -a lot sounds ocd to me too but I'm not sure about what aspergers presents with - good luck - we're here :-) Quoting <@...>: > There are probably symptoms at school too, just no one realizes what > she's doing, what they are seeing, etc. My son could hold it together > at school but he was still OCDing there. Only his twin noted the OCD > stuff during the day, others, including teachers, just didn't realize > OCD was bothering him or that any slight hesitation or other things > were OCD. > > Kids let it all out at home after holding back during the day. Very > tiring for them, I'm sure they are exhausted some days when getting > home. Home is the " safe place. " Also at home there is less to > distract, no teacher teaching, work to do, etc. > > > > >> >> Our dd still holds everything together in school, but at home it is >> very difficult. The Neurologist also said that he would expect her to >> have symptoms in school but in school everything is fine so far. >> My dd wants to follow the rules and is more a quiet child. I feel >> somehow like a " bad mom " because she does everything at home and at >> school o.k.. Do you have the same experience? >> > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 My 9 yr old daughter is the same. Nobody in school would know and she does not seem to show any of her OCD tendancies. When we first spoke to school, they were very surprised because they do not see it. Maybe she just hides it well at school but it has not interfered with school at all. My daugher is also quiet at school and definitely has to follow the rules. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 not a bad mom at all!!!! anyone on here is seeking help for their child and that's all we can do sometimes - we're battling something most could never - and she loves you and is comfy so she falls apart around you - we get the " good stuff " LOL!!! hang in eileen Quoting jtlt@...: > > In a message dated 9/29/2006 7:27:42 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, > sabcla15@... writes: > > The Neurologist also said that he would expect her to > have symptoms in school but in school everything is fine so far. > My dd wants to follow the rules and is more a quiet child. I feel > somehow like a " bad mom " because she does everything at home and at > school o.k.. Do you have the same experience? > > > > Sabcla > > I would venture a guess that your Neurologist doesn't have a full > understanding of OCD. It's not uncommon for kids to hold together in > front of other > people (school, friends, etc) and then fall apart at home (home - considered > their " safe place " where they don't have to be on guard all the time.) > > For instance, my dd who has contamination issues (spreading her germs to > others) and won't wear the same article of clothing twice (even a jacket) > without it being washed.... made life at home for me MISERABLE with > the amount of > laundry and clothes falling apart at the seems from over-washing. Yet, at > school she would put on the same smelly, sweaty, nasty gym clothes > for an entire > week & not have a problem with it. It made me CRAZY until the folks on this > board explained that to me.... kids will do a lot to hold it together in > front of peers, etc. > LT > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 My ds is totally different around others. The family gets it all. My good friend was a little skeptical, she didn't say so, but I could tell. until we went on the cruise together. Then she saw it all. No more little doubting comments. She knows now. Before, when they were around, she saw nothing. And when he is in a class or at a friend's house, he keeps it in. Then lets it all out in the car when we leave. J Re: Forgot a Question My 9 yr old daughter is the same. Nobody in school would know and she does not seem to show any of her OCD tendancies. When we first spoke to school, they were very surprised because they do not see it. Maybe she just hides it well at school but it has not interfered with school at all. My daugher is also quiet at school and definitely has to follow the rules. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 Maybe you are a " good " mom because she feels safe enough to let it out at home instead of at school. I know it's hard, but isn't it better to have it at home? At least she is succeeding. If she can hang in there until it gets better at home too, she will be way ahead of the game. She obviously has some great coping skills that enable her to hold it together all day in school!!!! Best wishes, Bonnie > > Our dd still holds everything together in school, but at home it is > very difficult. The Neurologist also said that he would expect her to > have symptoms in school but in school everything is fine so far. > My dd wants to follow the rules and is more a quiet child. I feel > somehow like a " bad mom " because she does everything at home and at > school o.k.. Do you have the same experience? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2006 Report Share Posted September 29, 2006 My daughter is the same at school, but she says she has a lot of thoughts but really fights them so not to embarrass herself. She has had panic attacks in Karate class though where she will she just walk out of class if it gets too bad and leaves everyone wondering what is going on. Her coach knows she suffers from an anxiety order but she absolutely does not want any team mates knowing. You are not a bad mom!! I think they do it at home because they need to release it somewhere and at home they know they are loved unconditionally and no matter they do, we are still on their side. Take care, Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2006 Report Share Posted September 30, 2006 My son is able to keep ocd under control at school also. In my experience, doctors that really understand ocd know this and won't blame the parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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