Re: At what point am I a codependant?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/17/2006 10:02:23 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

ldstraw@... writes:

Am I contributing to her phobia if I buy the seat covers like we find

in public bathrooms to save the cost of toilet paper?

Good question, girl. I'd like to know what others think. I feel I have a

biased opinion because I went through nearly the same thing with my DD -

although she didn't need to cover the toilet seat at home, she went through

toilet

paper by the reams & bottles of soap as well. I feel your pain!

Personally, I feel at some point you have to do what you have to do in order

to make life tolerable for the entire family. Going into a bathroom with

pee left on the seat from someone else (especially a sib) has got to wear on

you & cause problems. I would say using the seat covers might be a good way to

keep things in the family calm & your toilet paper bill down. Is it

contributing to her problem...... maybe.

Does your daughter go for therapy? Have you asked the doctor about it? If

so, what did they say? How are your daughter's hands/skin? My dd had red,

dry, chapped, cracked hands - it was horrible. It looked like she had little

red gloves on for a while there. You could actually see a very specific

" line " around her wrist, where she could grab her wrist with one hand while

washing & twist up & back and up & back trying to wash. It was horrible.

Here's my tip for that -- don't use antibacterial soap. Within a week of

switching out to " regular " liquid soap, my daughter's hands showed HUGE

improvement. It's not always easy to find, but I know you can get it at

Target's

(brand name " Method " ). Actually, at first I tried Cetaphyl liquid soap -

everyone in the family HATED it because it didn't lather like soap, it was more

like lotion. So I switched to & Baby Bath soap in a pump

bottle. That worked well, but I found it was so 'creamy' and lathered so much

that it was gunking up my drains! That's when I searched for a regular liquid

hand soap that wasn't antibacterial. That works great!

Good luck to you & your daughter. I'll be interested to read other

responses to your question.

LT

[Guest guest]

Honestly, I think I would do whatever was cheapest at this point, then work on

trying to break her of those habits one at a time, the smallest one first.

Sharon

At what point am I a codependant?

Hello everyone, I am new to the group and am looking forward to meeting

everyone virtually and getting advise on how my 18 year old son and I

can cope with my 19 year old daughter's OCD and behavior.

My Question, My daughter goes through multiple bottles of hand soap,

body soap and toilet paper weekly (about $200) She won't sit on the

toilet seat. She'll either lift herself and make a mess (of course she

won't clean it up) or she'll line the seat w/ rolls of toilet paper.

Am I contributing to her phobia if I buy the seat covers like we find

in public bathrooms to save the cost of toilet paper?

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

well it would contribute but if used as a step up to getting rid of

covering the seat then it would be erp I would think

good luck and welcome - I threatened to not replace the soap if it

keeps going so fast - not right and never had to do it - but maybe let

her watch you etc and see how much you use and let her use less and

less over time - I can't water ours down because not enough lather is

not enough clean!!!!!!!! but maybe a thought

eileen :-)

Quoting ldstrawser <ldstraw@...>:

> Hello everyone, I am new to the group and am looking forward to meeting

> everyone virtually and getting advise on how my 18 year old son and I

> can cope with my 19 year old daughter's OCD and behavior.

>

> My Question, My daughter goes through multiple bottles of hand soap,

> body soap and toilet paper weekly (about $200) She won't sit on the

> toilet seat. She'll either lift herself and make a mess (of course she

> won't clean it up) or she'll line the seat w/ rolls of toilet paper.

> Am I contributing to her phobia if I buy the seat covers like we find

> in public bathrooms to save the cost of toilet paper?

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

what about the foam soaps? or a foam dispenser - like pampered chef has a

dispenser that uses regular soap and water and makes it come out foamy.

what if you went to using bar soap?

last night in the tub, i gave my girls (3 and 5) bar soap. they didnt know how

to use it! LOL!

sharon

Re: At what point am I a codependant?

well it would contribute but if used as a step up to getting rid of

covering the seat then it would be erp I would think

good luck and welcome - I threatened to not replace the soap if it

keeps going so fast - not right and never had to do it - but maybe let

her watch you etc and see how much you use and let her use less and

less over time - I can't water ours down because not enough lather is

not enough clean!!!!!!!! but maybe a thought

eileen :-)

Quoting ldstrawser <ldstraw@...>:

> Hello everyone, I am new to the group and am looking forward to meeting

> everyone virtually and getting advise on how my 18 year old son and I

> can cope with my 19 year old daughter's OCD and behavior.

>

> My Question, My daughter goes through multiple bottles of hand soap,

> body soap and toilet paper weekly (about $200) She won't sit on the

> toilet seat. She'll either lift herself and make a mess (of course she

> won't clean it up) or she'll line the seat w/ rolls of toilet paper.

> Am I contributing to her phobia if I buy the seat covers like we find

> in public bathrooms to save the cost of toilet paper?

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

We don't have the OCD issue here, but considering how often I'm

buying toilet paper in general with my 3 sons and my complaining

about that (and switching to cheaper brand I don't really like),

then I say go for the seat covers.

I don't know what all you have tried regarding these issues

(everything I'm sure) you might try setting a limit on use of one of

the other items, sort of beginning her " therapy " to work towards one

of the problems. Like if she runs out of " this week's " supply of

body soap then she'll just have to use bar soap instead so she

should limit amount she uses to try to stretch it out.... I'm sure

she understands OCD very well and treatment, so maybe she'll pick

one to work towards; maybe not!

If she works, she could buy her own! Save her allowance to pitch in

towards costs (or hold back on $$ given to her to contribute). I

know this sounds like punishment but it might be an incentive to use

less soap/paper if she's losing $5 a week or $10, whatever, money

that would go in her pocket; making items last longer would be more

$$ in her pocket. I don't punish for OCD, I'm just thinking a bit

on incentives here. I wouldn't try this with a young person, but

she's 19.

Just some quick thoughts!

single mom, 3 sons

, 17, with OCD, dysgraphia and Aspergers

>

> Hello everyone, I am new to the group and am looking forward to

meeting

> everyone virtually and getting advise on how my 18 year old son

and I

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Have you read " Loving Someone with OCD " by Cherry Pedrick, J.

Landsman, Kathleen Rupertus. I think you would benefit from this

book. It would help you see where you are contributing and help both

you and you son help your daughter for you all to be happier and

healthier.

Good luck and God bless.

Debbie

>

> Hello everyone, I am new to the group and am looking forward to

meeting

> everyone virtually and getting advise on how my 18 year old son

and I

> can cope with my 19 year old daughter's OCD and behavior.

>

> My Question, My daughter goes through multiple bottles of hand

soap,

> body soap and toilet paper weekly (about $200) She won't sit on

the

> toilet seat. She'll either lift herself and make a mess (of

course she

> won't clean it up) or she'll line the seat w/ rolls of toilet

paper.

> Am I contributing to her phobia if I buy the seat covers like we

find

> in public bathrooms to save the cost of toilet paper?

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/18/2006 2:35:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

sdonovan1@... writes:

last night in the tub, i gave my girls (3 and 5) bar soap. they didnt know

how to use it! LOL!

Sharon

HA!!! That's priceless!! Non-OCD topic.... but funny as " H...E... double

hockey sticks " .... we bought an old DIAL telephone from a church flea market

for $1.00. My husband hooked it up & it worked!!! It hangs on the wall in

our kitchen & everyone (kids & adults alike) want to dial it when they're at

our house. The kids get a REAL kick out of the novelty of it & the adults find

it strangely calming & satisfying.

LT

[Guest guest]

LT the red gloves and washing technique is identical here! re: the TP -

we're now working on 3 pieces of TP (4 squares each) and that's all

she's supposed to use - and 30 seconds to wet,scrub and rinse - I must

physically stick her hands in for the rinse a lot but it's helping

good luck

eileen

Quoting jtlt@...:

>

> In a message dated 10/17/2006 10:02:23 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> ldstraw@... writes:

>

> Am I contributing to her phobia if I buy the seat covers like we find

> in public bathrooms to save the cost of toilet paper?

>

>

>

>

> Good question, girl. I'd like to know what others think. I feel I have a

> biased opinion because I went through nearly the same thing with my DD -

> although she didn't need to cover the toilet seat at home, she went

> through toilet

> paper by the reams & bottles of soap as well. I feel your pain!

>

> Personally, I feel at some point you have to do what you have to do in order

> to make life tolerable for the entire family. Going into a bathroom with

> pee left on the seat from someone else (especially a sib) has got to wear on

> you & cause problems. I would say using the seat covers might be a

> good way to

> keep things in the family calm & your toilet paper bill down. Is it

> contributing to her problem...... maybe.

>

> Does your daughter go for therapy? Have you asked the doctor about it? If

> so, what did they say? How are your daughter's hands/skin? My dd had red,

> dry, chapped, cracked hands - it was horrible. It looked like she

> had little

> red gloves on for a while there. You could actually see a very specific

> " line " around her wrist, where she could grab her wrist with one hand while

> washing & twist up & back and up & back trying to wash. It was horrible.

>

> Here's my tip for that -- don't use antibacterial soap. Within a week of

> switching out to " regular " liquid soap, my daughter's hands showed HUGE

> improvement. It's not always easy to find, but I know you can get it

> at Target's

> (brand name " Method " ). Actually, at first I tried Cetaphyl liquid soap -

> everyone in the family HATED it because it didn't lather like soap,

> it was more

> like lotion. So I switched to & Baby Bath soap in a pump

> bottle. That worked well, but I found it was so 'creamy' and

> lathered so much

> that it was gunking up my drains! That's when I searched for a

> regular liquid

> hand soap that wasn't antibacterial. That works great!

>

> Good luck to you & your daughter. I'll be interested to read other

> responses to your question.

> LT

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/22/2006 3:28:50 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

autumn71A@... writes:

LT the red gloves and washing technique is identical here! re: the TP -

we're now working on 3 pieces of TP (4 squares each) and that's all

she's supposed to use - and 30 seconds to wet,scrub and rinse - I must

physically stick her hands in for the rinse a lot but it's helping

good luck

Eileen

My dd's OCD is under control now (all due to meds).... the description in my

post was all past experience. I did the same you're doing at that time

though ... timing hand washing & rinsing, etc. Unfortunately dd couldn't do

this

herself - that whole " set a timer " thing is for the birds (the non-OCD

birds, that is... hahaha)

We've started decreasing dd's meds just a couple weeks ago - hoping that

either (by some miracle) the symptoms don't reappear.... or (more likely) they

resurface slowly with each decrease & we get her back into therapy so the

doctor actually has something to work with to teach her ERP.

.......... we went from 50mg Prozac almost 2 weeks ago to 40mg..... and we

wait.

LT

[Guest guest]

our red gloves are old news too - thank God but would be back if I

wasn't on top of it - I had her counting (duh!!!) and then realized I

need to be the counter - a couple of times she's made it without but no

where there yet - good luck!!

Eileen

Quoting jtlt@...:

>

> In a message dated 10/22/2006 3:28:50 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> autumn71A@... writes:

>

> LT the red gloves and washing technique is identical here! re: the TP -

> we're now working on 3 pieces of TP (4 squares each) and that's all

> she's supposed to use - and 30 seconds to wet,scrub and rinse - I must

> physically stick her hands in for the rinse a lot but it's helping

> good luck

>

>

> Eileen

>

> My dd's OCD is under control now (all due to meds).... the description in my

> post was all past experience. I did the same you're doing at that time

> though ... timing hand washing & rinsing, etc. Unfortunately dd

> couldn't do this

> herself - that whole " set a timer " thing is for the birds (the non-OCD

> birds, that is... hahaha)

>

> We've started decreasing dd's meds just a couple weeks ago - hoping that

> either (by some miracle) the symptoms don't reappear.... or (more

> likely) they

> resurface slowly with each decrease & we get her back into therapy so the

> doctor actually has something to work with to teach her ERP.

>

> ......... we went from 50mg Prozac almost 2 weeks ago to 40mg..... and we

> wait.

> LT

>

>

>