Guest guest Posted October 16, 2006 Report Share Posted October 16, 2006 Hi , Well, with our family I did bring up the kids (3 sons) saying there *is* God, Jesus...having them do bedtime prayers, etc. They knew not everyone believed in God though. But we weren't a church-going family. I didn't grow up going to church. But what I did over the years was discuss what I knew/read about other faiths/beliefs. Not on any regular basis either. They each went through a stage of huge fears of dying, so then I did have books to show them on " heaven " and lots of discussion. (Whew, that was tough, hearing them say they wished they hadn't been born if they had to die, the crying, their fears....) My own faith seems to take a bit from all, so I'm not " strict " in some certain faith, though do believe in God. My oldest (now 21) went to church with some neighbors a few years (Methodist) and then lost interest when it got past the " fun " stuff to the adult, around age 13. He had his doubts, got interested in Wicca and other but was just pursuing knowledge I guess. I'm not sure what his faith/beliefs are now. Another son is presently an agnostic (believe that's the word he uses; perhaps older son is too!). I basically tell them they have to find what is right for *them*. And then there's , my OCDer!! He began reading the Bible at bedtime each night I guess around 9th grade, maybe 8th. It was one he had received back when he and his twin, , had participated in a local AWANAS group (a Christian based group for young kids, do activities, read Bible... -- I think that ended in maybe 6th grade (outgrew age limit or something). At the time he began the bedtime routine of reading, I know I was concerned this *could* turn into some OCD-thing and sort of wanted to just snatch it away. Well...it took until last January (2nd half of 11th grade) but scrupulosity/OCD popped up! always had a bit of scrupe in him growing up, he was just a *good* child. Couldn't lie, couldn't cheat, well-behaved. But last January brought another severe bout of OCD problems, bad thoughts and all. His first onset of OCD had nothing to do with religion though. I've a bit of OCD scrupe too. I attend just church with and it's brought a bit of my own up. But for me, it's something I can easily sort of shrug off and always have. Hadn't bothered me very often in years either until I began attending services. I guess this is my long way of saying that I do think with *OCD* that you never know what will pop up in any family of any belief or non-belief. For some, just a " doubt " about if what they think/feel/believe, what really happens after death, etc., is really a " certainty " can begin an OC problem. For others it may not be about real faith/belief at all, just that old OCD " doubting disease " or " worrying disease " and it takes a topic and runs with it! There is no logic. OK, quick thoughts and typing!! (don't hold me to word-for-word!) single mom, 3 sons , 17 > > We are mostly secular with some earth based spirituality, we celebrate the seasons, appreciate the earth, those tend to be our holidays. So, the scrupulosity is not an issue at this point for us. I do however, think that if we were religious, my ds would be worried about that. We don't really believe in hell, so he isn't worried about doing something wrong and going there. He does however apologize to the earth when he litters, or steps on bugs, and then he feels bad. He also went through a period of worrying about saying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 16, 2006 Report Share Posted October 16, 2006 Hi , Well, with our family I did bring up the kids (3 sons) saying there *is* God, Jesus...having them do bedtime prayers, etc. They knew not everyone believed in God though. But we weren't a church-going family. I didn't grow up going to church. But what I did over the years was discuss what I knew/read about other faiths/beliefs. Not on any regular basis either. They each went through a stage of huge fears of dying, so then I did have books to show them on " heaven " and lots of discussion. (Whew, that was tough, hearing them say they wished they hadn't been born if they had to die, the crying, their fears....) My own faith seems to take a bit from all, so I'm not " strict " in some certain faith, though do believe in God. My oldest (now 21) went to church with some neighbors a few years (Methodist) and then lost interest when it got past the " fun " stuff to the adult, around age 13. He had his doubts, got interested in Wicca and other but was just pursuing knowledge I guess. I'm not sure what his faith/beliefs are now. Another son is presently an agnostic (believe that's the word he uses; perhaps older son is too!). I basically tell them they have to find what is right for *them*. And then there's , my OCDer!! He began reading the Bible at bedtime each night I guess around 9th grade, maybe 8th. It was one he had received back when he and his twin, , had participated in a local AWANAS group (a Christian based group for young kids, do activities, read Bible... -- I think that ended in maybe 6th grade (outgrew age limit or something). At the time he began the bedtime routine of reading, I know I was concerned this *could* turn into some OCD-thing and sort of wanted to just snatch it away. Well...it took until last January (2nd half of 11th grade) but scrupulosity/OCD popped up! always had a bit of scrupe in him growing up, he was just a *good* child. Couldn't lie, couldn't cheat, well-behaved. But last January brought another severe bout of OCD problems, bad thoughts and all. His first onset of OCD had nothing to do with religion though. I've a bit of OCD scrupe too. I attend just church with and it's brought a bit of my own up. But for me, it's something I can easily sort of shrug off and always have. Hadn't bothered me very often in years either until I began attending services. I guess this is my long way of saying that I do think with *OCD* that you never know what will pop up in any family of any belief or non-belief. For some, just a " doubt " about if what they think/feel/believe, what really happens after death, etc., is really a " certainty " can begin an OC problem. For others it may not be about real faith/belief at all, just that old OCD " doubting disease " or " worrying disease " and it takes a topic and runs with it! There is no logic. OK, quick thoughts and typing!! (don't hold me to word-for-word!) single mom, 3 sons , 17 > > We are mostly secular with some earth based spirituality, we celebrate the seasons, appreciate the earth, those tend to be our holidays. So, the scrupulosity is not an issue at this point for us. I do however, think that if we were religious, my ds would be worried about that. We don't really believe in hell, so he isn't worried about doing something wrong and going there. He does however apologize to the earth when he litters, or steps on bugs, and then he feels bad. He also went through a period of worrying about saying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 16, 2006 Report Share Posted October 16, 2006 We dont practice religion in our house, but both dh and I were raised Catholic. We thought about sending Abby to a catholic school, but the more I hear about this, the more I KNOW she would be worried about these things, as well. Public school is going to be the best for her for now, at least. Sharon secular scrupulosity We are mostly secular with some earth based spirituality, we celebrate the seasons, appreciate the earth, those tend to be our holidays. So, the scrupulosity is not an issue at this point for us. I do however, think that if we were religious, my ds would be worried about that. We don't really believe in hell, so he isn't worried about doing something wrong and going there. He does however apologize to the earth when he litters, or steps on bugs, and then he feels bad. He also went through a period of worrying about saying the words " God, Jesus, Allah... " pretty much most religious figures. He heard someone discussing Jesus, and thought it was wrong to say Jesus. He got it mixed up when someone said not to say " oh jesus " or " oh god " in an exclamation kind of way. so, I'm pretty sure that we would be dealing with that if we were a religious family. How does scrupulosity manifest itself in atheist, agnostic or people of non-common religio J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Just wanted to add that Catholic priests (at least some of them-one can check in the diocese) are trained to work with scrupulous people. I have had some wonderful help from certain priests myself in that respect. Those experienced with scrupulosity can actually be very knowledeable about ocd and use a kind of ERP for the sufferer. I think the key is placing an emphasis on mercy rather than judgement and taking away excessive responsibilty (for example such as penances or sacrifices and thus doubts) from the sufferer, helping the person to decide whether some thought or action is really bad or sinful in his/her case or not. So it can actually be very helpful. (I would guess many ministers have encountered scrupulosity too). So one does not necessarily have to think about leaving religious practice to deal with scrupulosity. My comments are also based on concerns I have had at times (based on experience as a religious family) that some persons in the counseling professions might mistakenly or inadvertently lead a young person with ocd to conclude that religion is a bad and/or opressive thing that is somehow causing ocd, rather then that ocd is the underlying problem which is being manifested as moral/religious doubt and anxiety. Since you can see that many persons function well within the dictates of relgious practices (and even including the more orthodox practices) without excessive anxiety, I believe that again points to the fact that it is the ocd not the religion. I do think choosing to send a child to public(vs religious) school would be one of the ways to reduce the anxiety of religious scrupulosity, just like having them experience not washing so frequently would reduce germ fears, especially if the school does not understand the ocd, and puts too much emphasis (for that particular) child upon rules vs charity, or God's judgement vs mercy. Yet even in public school, there tends to be alot more emphasis placed upon rules and even punishmnts b/c so many normal kids have a tendency to test rules and to be disruptive , so the many rules and consequences are designed to keep the overall atmosphere of order, But I think scrupulous kids can suffer alot in that context too, if the teacher does not know to modify dicipiline approaches (if needed at all) for that child. nancy grace > > We dont practice religion in our house, but both dh and I were raised Catholic. We thought about sending Abby to a catholic school, but the more I hear about this, the more I KNOW she would be worried about these things, as well. Public school is going to be the best for her for now, at least. > Sharon > secular scrupulosity > > > We are mostly secular with some earth based spirituality, we celebrate the seasons, appreciate the earth, those tend to be our holidays. So, the scrupulosity is not an issue at this point for us. I do however, think that if we were religious, my ds would be worried about that. We don't really believe in hell, so he isn't worried about doing something wrong and going there. He does however apologize to the earth when he litters, or steps on bugs, and then he feels bad. He also went through a period of worrying about saying the words " God, Jesus, Allah... " pretty much most religious figures. He heard someone discussing Jesus, and thought it was wrong to say Jesus. He got it mixed up when someone said not to say " oh jesus " or " oh god " in an exclamation kind of way. so, I'm pretty sure that we would be dealing with that if we were a religious family. How does scrupulosity manifest itself in atheist, agnostic or people of non-common religio J > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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