Re: question-need answers!

[Guest guest]

How rigid is the school in handling late issues? Here, our kids are

constantly told DON'T BE LATE OR XYZ.... Maybe she's heard one of these speeches

and

doesn't want to be called on the carpet for being late? Just a thought.

In a message dated 9/27/2006 9:42:56 AM Central Standard Time,

amarinonii@... writes:

For example, my 11-yr-old daughter

will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

though I point out the logic. There is 10 minutes to spare while

pulling in to the school, she starts yelling, becoming rigid, freaking

out about being " late!!!!! "

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/27/2006 10:40:41 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

amarinonii@... writes:

my 11-yr-old daughter

will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

though I point out the logic.......................................... (She

does have OCD, Separation Anxiety Disorder and some sensory hypersensitivity)

Has your daughter been professionally diagnosed with OCD? What are her

issues that you know for a fact are OCD? Is perfectionism one of them? There

could be some tie-in with being on time & perfectionism, I guess. Does she

behave the same way if she thinks she's going to be late for anything else, or

just school? Does she maybe have some type of OCD related rituals that she

must perform at school before she can go into her classroom? Maybe that's what

she requires the extra time for???

LT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/27/2006 10:40:41 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

amarinonii@... writes:

my 11-yr-old daughter

will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

though I point out the logic.......................................... (She

does have OCD, Separation Anxiety Disorder and some sensory hypersensitivity)

Has your daughter been professionally diagnosed with OCD? What are her

issues that you know for a fact are OCD? Is perfectionism one of them? There

could be some tie-in with being on time & perfectionism, I guess. Does she

behave the same way if she thinks she's going to be late for anything else, or

just school? Does she maybe have some type of OCD related rituals that she

must perform at school before she can go into her classroom? Maybe that's what

she requires the extra time for???

LT

[Guest guest]

It's an OCD thing. My kids have never been late to school. Never. The only

time they have come in after school started was because of appointments.

They are both very pertified that they will be late. No one in the school would

even care that my kids are late because they are never late. Even before my

youngest one was in school, she would ask me if we were running late when we

dropped off my older one. I always told her " no " but she still worries about

it. A good way to treat it would be to be late. She could see that nothing

terrible happens if a kid is late once in awhile and she would have to deal with

that feeling of anxiety that she experiences about being late. Good luck!

Kelley in NV

[Guest guest]

,

When I was a child that age, I also was paranoid about being late for school

and other things - all the way until I graduated. Ironically, I am now late for

everything and really don't care! I would get rage-like and I can remember

feeling SO tense inside - kind of how I feel now if I REALLY have to get

somewhere and there is a really slow driver in front of me. I am an anxious

person, so I personally would attribute it more to anxiety in general than

necessarily ocd. I do not think I have OCD, but I definitely have an obsessive

personality and I wasn't obsessed with it - just truly anxious. I still

couldn't tell you why I would get so upset about it, but I did. There was no

real reason - I didn't think I would be in trouble or anything like that but the

feeling was very real.

I think if it were my child, I would just ask " what time would you like to

leave so that you are comfortable we'll get there on time " and then I would

leave at exactly

that time every morning. I would be in the car prior to that - look at the

clock and at that time ... go! She may just feel " out of control " with the

situation and sometimes that causes the anxiety. But I would make a deal that

if you leave by that time, she controls herself. Knowing she will get there say

10 minutes ahead of time may help alot. If she still gets rage-like, that will

probably give you an idea if there is more to the situation or not. I don't

personally believe in letting children make too many decisions, but for

something that they are overly anxious about, I think liberties should be

granted. Plus, I would rather get up 10 minutes earlier than have a bad start

to the day every school day.

My husband always goes to work 30 minutes prior to having to be there. He

says he really needs that extra time to emotionally get himself ready for the

day.

Good luck!

jtlt@... wrote:

In a message dated 9/27/2006 10:40:41 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

amarinonii@... writes:

my 11-yr-old daughter

will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

though I point out the logic.......................................... (She

does have OCD, Separation Anxiety Disorder and some sensory hypersensitivity)

Has your daughter been professionally diagnosed with OCD? What are her

issues that you know for a fact are OCD? Is perfectionism one of them? There

could be some tie-in with being on time & perfectionism, I guess. Does she

behave the same way if she thinks she's going to be late for anything else, or

just school? Does she maybe have some type of OCD related rituals that she

must perform at school before she can go into her classroom? Maybe that's what

she requires the extra time for???

LT

[Guest guest]

,

When I was a child that age, I also was paranoid about being late for school

and other things - all the way until I graduated. Ironically, I am now late for

everything and really don't care! I would get rage-like and I can remember

feeling SO tense inside - kind of how I feel now if I REALLY have to get

somewhere and there is a really slow driver in front of me. I am an anxious

person, so I personally would attribute it more to anxiety in general than

necessarily ocd. I do not think I have OCD, but I definitely have an obsessive

personality and I wasn't obsessed with it - just truly anxious. I still

couldn't tell you why I would get so upset about it, but I did. There was no

real reason - I didn't think I would be in trouble or anything like that but the

feeling was very real.

I think if it were my child, I would just ask " what time would you like to

leave so that you are comfortable we'll get there on time " and then I would

leave at exactly

that time every morning. I would be in the car prior to that - look at the

clock and at that time ... go! She may just feel " out of control " with the

situation and sometimes that causes the anxiety. But I would make a deal that

if you leave by that time, she controls herself. Knowing she will get there say

10 minutes ahead of time may help alot. If she still gets rage-like, that will

probably give you an idea if there is more to the situation or not. I don't

personally believe in letting children make too many decisions, but for

something that they are overly anxious about, I think liberties should be

granted. Plus, I would rather get up 10 minutes earlier than have a bad start

to the day every school day.

My husband always goes to work 30 minutes prior to having to be there. He

says he really needs that extra time to emotionally get himself ready for the

day.

Good luck!

jtlt@... wrote:

In a message dated 9/27/2006 10:40:41 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

amarinonii@... writes:

my 11-yr-old daughter

will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

though I point out the logic.......................................... (She

does have OCD, Separation Anxiety Disorder and some sensory hypersensitivity)

Has your daughter been professionally diagnosed with OCD? What are her

issues that you know for a fact are OCD? Is perfectionism one of them? There

could be some tie-in with being on time & perfectionism, I guess. Does she

behave the same way if she thinks she's going to be late for anything else, or

just school? Does she maybe have some type of OCD related rituals that she

must perform at school before she can go into her classroom? Maybe that's what

she requires the extra time for???

LT

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, she is diagnosed with OCD. She has

some perfectionistic behaviors, with school work. My gut is telling me

this is OCD, this " late " for school thing. Life is not perfect, and I

don't want to be privy to compulsions. We shoot to leave at 820 and I

tell her that it will be fine if its a few minutes later. We usally

get to school before 835 and bell rings at 848. If we get into the car

at 821 or 823 she sometimes gets anxious and I say " Okay, REALIZE that

OCD is trying to make you nervous. " I see this as exposure. It's

confusing to read that it's only an obsession when it's not an

extention of real-life worries. Because this started as a real-life

worry, has just gotten overblown. I think it is OCD. Our therapist

sometimes tells me certain things are not OCD when I know they are. No

one knows better than a person WITH OCD if it is OCD or not. I feel

like I'm thinking too much about this, but as a co-therapist, I have

to be on the lookout all the time and develop ERP runs for her.

[Guest guest]

My thoughts only - OCD will take anything, even real-life

situations, and make them obsessive. The typical person might

worry, get anxious over being late for instance, but I think with

OCD the reaction will be more extreme, more anxiety, more " HAVE to

be on time.... "

Now as to real world and school - a lot of kids (me included) don't

want to be late, don't want to be *the* one who gets in trouble for

being tardy, coming in the room late, getting detention, etc. Has

she said what is so bad about being late, just what would happen?

Is she that way about anything else, wanting to be prompt/on time?

I always wanted my dad to get me there early so I could socialize a

bit before school.

I think *non-reality based " refers to - and dunno if I'll word this

the best way - the fear not being " logical " (as you stated), it's

irrational, but could be about *possible* real-life events.

I think whether this is actually OCD related or just *her quirk*,

you could still do an exposure for it, still treat it as OCD. Would

still work on getting her past this.

I had a similar situation with another of my sons, similar in that

it's like something that happened previously seemed to suddenly pop

up and haunt him. He went thru what I called a " separation anxiety "

phase around 6th grade (can't recall exactly when, but I had

going through OCD and went thru this other while we were

dealing with OCD). Seemed that even his getting lost/separated (at

beach, in a store...) years before that " came back " and just caused

trouble. He became like my shadow! Glad he got past that, whew!

Worked on it just like with OCD.

>

> I need a little clarification. Are OCD obsessions ONLY those that

are

> not exessive worries of real-life? For example, my 11-yr-old

daughter

> will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

> though I point out the logic. There is 10 minutes to spare while

> pulling in to the school, she starts yelling, becoming rigid,

[Guest guest]

, before we homeschooled, my son couldn't take it if he was

late for school - even if he had a legitimate reason to be late such

as a Dr. appt. I think this goes to an excessive need for things

to " feel right. " Being late got him off on the wrong foot. And no,

he didn't have this issue in regard to other things - like dentist

appts, etc.

Khris

>

> I need a little clarification. Are OCD obsessions ONLY those that

are

> not exessive worries of real-life? For example, my 11-yr-old

daughter

> will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

> though I point out the logic. There is 10 minutes to spare while

> pulling in to the school, she starts yelling, becoming rigid,

freaking

> out about being " late!!!!! " What set it off is that we did leave

about

> 3 minutes later than usual, but I allow plenty of time as a window,

as

> it takes 5-10 minutes to talk her into getting out of the car

> sometimes. This whole scene is irrational to me, which screams OCD.

> Yet, I read in the 'Imp of the Mind' that OCD obsessions are only

non-

> reality based. It seems illogical and very unlikely that she will be

> late-- so maybe this obsession is not reality-based. Once, and only

> once, we were late because it was raining and took FORTY MINUTES to

> get through the traffic on a four-mile stretch. It's like that one

> episode has haunted her.

> Please help me understand. I can't set up exposure if I don't even

> know if this is OCD. (She does have OCD, Separation Anxiety Disorder

> and some sensory hypersensitivity)

>

>

[Guest guest]

I hadn't read that - but remember making sure pyschologists etc knew

that her issues were " normal ones " because I didn't know if it would

be OCD - but of course it is and almost every one of her obsessions are

" pretty realistic " - she doesn't want to touch the dirty garbage - the

doorknob if she thinks little brother didn't wash - I mean many people

say " well she's got a point " but it's the extremes and then some other

things that wouldn't bother " the average bear " that make it clearly OCD

- I feel like you - you don't want to give in to the OCD so maybe

figure out if there is something at school re: lateness, last one in ,

needing more social time etc but if it's just plain old OCD I've do

exposure and leave at different times to break the ritual - just my

thoughts

Eileen

Quoting anjmar333 <amarinonii@...>:

> Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, she is diagnosed with OCD. She has

> some perfectionistic behaviors, with school work. My gut is telling me

> this is OCD, this " late " for school thing. Life is not perfect, and I

> don't want to be privy to compulsions. We shoot to leave at 820 and I

> tell her that it will be fine if its a few minutes later. We usally

> get to school before 835 and bell rings at 848. If we get into the car

> at 821 or 823 she sometimes gets anxious and I say " Okay, REALIZE that

> OCD is trying to make you nervous. " I see this as exposure. It's

> confusing to read that it's only an obsession when it's not an

> extention of real-life worries. Because this started as a real-life

> worry, has just gotten overblown. I think it is OCD. Our therapist

> sometimes tells me certain things are not OCD when I know they are. No

> one knows better than a person WITH OCD if it is OCD or not. I feel

> like I'm thinking too much about this, but as a co-therapist, I have

> to be on the lookout all the time and develop ERP runs for her.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

----- Forwarded message from autumn71A@... -----

Date: Wed, 27 Sep 2006 13:21:50 -0400

From: " autumn71A@... " <autumn71A@...>

Reply- " autumn71A@... " <autumn71A@...>

Subject: Re: Re: question-need answers!

I hadn't read that - but remember making sure pyschologists etc knew

that her issues were " normal ones " because I didn't know if it would

be OCD - but of course it is and almost every one of her obsessions are

" pretty realistic " - she doesn't want to touch the dirty garbage - the

doorknob if she thinks little brother didn't wash - I mean many people

say " well she's got a point " but it's the extremes and then some other

things that wouldn't bother " the average bear " that make it clearly OCD

- I feel like you - you don't want to give in to the OCD so maybe

figure out if there is something at school re: lateness, last one in ,

needing more social time etc but if it's just plain old OCD I've do

exposure and leave at different times to break the ritual - just my

thoughts

Eileen

Quoting anjmar333 <amarinonii@...>:

> Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, she is diagnosed with OCD. She has

> some perfectionistic behaviors, with school work. My gut is telling me

> this is OCD, this " late " for school thing. Life is not perfect, and I

> don't want to be privy to compulsions. We shoot to leave at 820 and I

> tell her that it will be fine if its a few minutes later. We usally

> get to school before 835 and bell rings at 848. If we get into the car

> at 821 or 823 she sometimes gets anxious and I say " Okay, REALIZE that

> OCD is trying to make you nervous. " I see this as exposure. It's

> confusing to read that it's only an obsession when it's not an

> extention of real-life worries. Because this started as a real-life

> worry, has just gotten overblown. I think it is OCD. Our therapist

> sometimes tells me certain things are not OCD when I know they are. No

> one knows better than a person WITH OCD if it is OCD or not. I feel

> like I'm thinking too much about this, but as a co-therapist, I have

> to be on the lookout all the time and develop ERP runs for her.

>

>

>

>

>

>

----- End forwarded message -----

[Guest guest]

I definitely agree, Sharon. Kind of like the " what if's. " The problem is,

the little worry turns into a great big huge worry/obsession when all the

scenario's of " what if " go through your mind. My son suffered for years with

all

the little basic " what if's " that he was virtually a prisoner of his own

fears - fears that you or I might not think twice about -

As an example - he's sitting in school - looks like maybe a snow storm is

brewing. Pretty simple thought, right? Well, in his mind he's thinking oh

God, mom's going to drive to pick me up and get in an accident because of the

snow and then she'll have to go to the hospital and in hospitals you usually

die and then who will pick me up tomorrow and what if it snows... kind of

extreme example, but that's what we finally realized was happening - his

obsessions were mainly " what if " spiraling into major disasterous thoughts.

For years (and still to this day) he won't go to the dentist and the dr was

never able to take throat cultures - we always attributed it to a gag reflex.

Well, when we finally began the diagnostic process he explained his " quirk "

in detail to the psychiatrist - He was afraid of the dental instruments

falling down his throat and then being rushed to the hospital where you die in

surgery.

OCD is so much more than just outlandish obessions/compulsions. I think a

lot of times a simple every day maybe could happen thing gets mixed in with

the anxiety and all the possibilities that COULD possibly happen and then the

fear/thought just gets magnified and becomes absolutely paralyzing to someone

with OCD.

Of course, after a night of these kind of thoughts and stress, the teacher

still wants to know " where's your homework! " :-)

In a message dated 9/27/2006 2:54:11 PM Central Standard Time,

sdonovan1@... writes:

I dont agree with that at all. OCD can be things that could really happen.

Sharon

[Guest guest]

I dont agree with that at all. OCD can be things that could really happen.

Sharon

question-need answers!

I need a little clarification. Are OCD obsessions ONLY those that are

not exessive worries of real-life? For example, my 11-yr-old daughter

will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

though I point out the logic. There is 10 minutes to spare while

pulling in to the school, she starts yelling, becoming rigid, freaking

out about being " late!!!!! " What set it off is that we did leave about

3 minutes later than usual, but I allow plenty of time as a window, as

it takes 5-10 minutes to talk her into getting out of the car

sometimes. This whole scene is irrational to me, which screams OCD.

Yet, I read in the 'Imp of the Mind' that OCD obsessions are only non-

reality based. It seems illogical and very unlikely that she will be

late-- so maybe this obsession is not reality-based. Once, and only

once, we were late because it was raining and took FORTY MINUTES to

get through the traffic on a four-mile stretch. It's like that one

episode has haunted her.

Please help me understand. I can't set up exposure if I don't even

know if this is OCD. (She does have OCD, Separation Anxiety Disorder

and some sensory hypersensitivity)

[Guest guest]

And I think that what truly distinguishes the normal " crap, we're going to

be late " from what you describe with your daughter is the EXCESSIVE worry and

resulting anxiety surrounding the initial innocent thought that basically

classifies it as " not normal " when the anxiety and " obsession " takes over.

In a message dated 9/27/2006 7:10:54 PM Central Standard Time,

jchabot@... writes:

She seems to only have ocd issues that evolve around real life , like being

late or not studying enough, getting an A, etc. It seems to be mostly school

related. She will get very anxious and will start flipping out, and yelling,

etc

[Guest guest]

Adele -

I'd be willing to bet the farm that the " typical " hand washing, tapping

walls, etc like so many OCD people get " is not that typical at all. OCD is so

complicated, BUT the media and books only show those " typical " behaviors and

automatically associate OCD as the " handwashing disease. " Kind of like

Tourette's - From the media and other sources, people automatically assume that

Tourette's is the cursing disease. I've spent MANY years fighting this

stereotype in the school with my son- Teacher's only know what they hear and see

on TV

and anything else is just plain " he's lazy " or " he doesn't want to do it. "

In a message dated 9/27/2006 8:03:07 PM Central Standard Time,

adelem@... writes:

He doesn't do the typical washing hands, tapping walls,

etc, like so many OCD people get

[Guest guest]

,

I have some of the same struggles with my son and have also struggled what

is OCD vs Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My son will get hit with a wave of

what I think is OCD also, within that time frame, he is afraid of clouds,

storms, etc. then he will panic that I didn't sign his homework assignment

book, then go to worrying over lunch, etc, etc. I am like you and think it

is OCD because it goes in circles and when he gets in this mood you cannot

get him out of it. Last night he started screaming and crying during

homework that he was going to fail school, etc, etc. He just got his report

card with all A's, but by his behavior I think he really felt that he was.

He has missed 4 days of school due to these waves of anxious behavior so it

is very serious to me.

My therapist does think he has OCD but not compulsions. This is what is

confusing to me. He doesn't do the typical washing hands, tapping walls,

etc, like so many OCD people get but yet he is constantly getting STUCK in

his obsessions, whatever it is. He gets stuck at a restaurant if his order

doesn't come out like he thought, will make a total scene in the restaurant

yelling and crying about it. This behavior is very irrational and you can't

get him out of it.

Will be interesting to read what others say about this too.

Adele

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of anjmar333

Sent: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 12:28 PM

Subject: Re: question-need answers!

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, she is diagnosed with OCD. She has

some perfectionistic behaviors, with school work. My gut is telling me

this is OCD, this " late " for school thing. Life is not perfect, and I

don't want to be privy to compulsions. We shoot to leave at 820 and I

tell her that it will be fine if its a few minutes later. We usally

get to school before 835 and bell rings at 848. If we get into the car

at 821 or 823 she sometimes gets anxious and I say " Okay, REALIZE that

OCD is trying to make you nervous. " I see this as exposure. It's

confusing to read that it's only an obsession when it's not an

extention of real-life worries. Because this started as a real-life

worry, has just gotten overblown. I think it is OCD. Our therapist

sometimes tells me certain things are not OCD when I know they are. No

one knows better than a person WITH OCD if it is OCD or not. I feel

like I'm thinking too much about this, but as a co-therapist, I have

to be on the lookout all the time and develop ERP runs for her.

[Guest guest]

One thing interesting that I found out this week about my son who has

Obsession only OCD is that he does have some more quirks that I didn't know

about. I decided this last week to go over all the compulsions checklist and

asked my son about them. Found out that he has to land on his right foot

every 3rd step when going on steps. Found out that he has to line his

pencils just so at school even though at home he is the biggest slob and

nothing is in any kind of order. At times he feels like he is in a another

universe. He only steps on the tile not the grout because he is afraid he

will " fall in " . He counts things by 3, 5, 10, 15. Whats so interesting to

me about all this is that I had no idea he was doing these things, these are

all things that he does in his mind that were a secret to everyone else. I

am learning to start to ask more questions if I really want to find out what

is going on in his mind. I am starting to think he has compulsions, we just

don't know about them or see them.

Adele

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Nchaotic@...

Sent: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 7:32 PM

Subject: Re: question-need answers!

I definitely agree, Sharon. Kind of like the " what if's. " The problem is,

the little worry turns into a great big huge worry/obsession when all the

scenario's of " what if " go through your mind. My son suffered for years with

all

the little basic " what if's " that he was virtually a prisoner of his own

fears - fears that you or I might not think twice about -

As an example - he's sitting in school - looks like maybe a snow storm is

brewing. Pretty simple thought, right? Well, in his mind he's thinking oh

God, mom's going to drive to pick me up and get in an accident because of

the

snow and then she'll have to go to the hospital and in hospitals you usually

die and then who will pick me up tomorrow and what if it snows... kind of

extreme example, but that's what we finally realized was happening - his

obsessions were mainly " what if " spiraling into major disasterous thoughts.

For years (and still to this day) he won't go to the dentist and the dr was

never able to take throat cultures - we always attributed it to a gag

reflex.

Well, when we finally began the diagnostic process he explained his " quirk "

in detail to the psychiatrist - He was afraid of the dental instruments

falling down his throat and then being rushed to the hospital where you die

in

surgery.

OCD is so much more than just outlandish obessions/compulsions. I think a

lot of times a simple every day maybe could happen thing gets mixed in with

the anxiety and all the possibilities that COULD possibly happen and then

the

fear/thought just gets magnified and becomes absolutely paralyzing to

someone

with OCD.

Of course, after a night of these kind of thoughts and stress, the teacher

still wants to know " where's your homework! " :-)

In a message dated 9/27/2006 2:54:11 PM Central Standard Time,

sdonovan1mn (DOT) <mailto:sdonovan1%40mn.rr.com> rr.com writes:

I dont agree with that at all. OCD can be things that could really happen.

Sharon

[Guest guest]

My OCD'er obsesses about vomiting. Something that absolutely COULD

happen. It doesn't have to be non-reality based, but the extent to

which they take it is. No one likes to vomit, but my DD thought about

it every minute of the day until she would lay on the floor by the

toilet with a salivating mouth, just " sure " it was going to happen at

any moment. She also stopped eating because the " full feeling " made her

think she may vomit. THAT'S obsessing about a real thing that could happen.

Sounds like an OCD issue to me!

Dina

>

>

>

> -

>

[Guest guest]

I don't agree either.I think the book may be referring to the bad thought type.

This scenario describes my 11 year old daughter also. She is the only one of

my kids with ocd who is not medicated.

I leave to take my girls to school at 7am. They have never once been late, in

their lives. Every morning at 6:55am my daughter gets panicky, saying shes

going to be late. She acts the same way.She seems to only have ocd issues that

evolve around real life , like being late or not studying enough, getting an A,

etc. It seems to be mostly school related. She will get very anxious and will

start flipping out, and yelling, etc

She does have some contamination issues as well as counting things, but it

mostly centers around the real life issues, where my 9 yr old daughter's ocd is

about vomitting and having to urinate constantly, as well as counting syllables.

My son(5) has the bad thought type, so it's completely different, and DOES

center around only illogical things.

kidsnpets <sdonovan1@...> wrote:

I dont agree with that at all. OCD can be things that could really

happen.

Sharon

question-need answers!

I need a little clarification. Are OCD obsessions ONLY those that are

not exessive worries of real-life? For example, my 11-yr-old daughter

will go into a tirade when she thinks she is late for school, even

though I point out the logic. There is 10 minutes to spare while

pulling in to the school, she starts yelling, becoming rigid, freaking

out about being " late!!!!! " What set it off is that we did leave about

3 minutes later than usual, but I allow plenty of time as a window, as

it takes 5-10 minutes to talk her into getting out of the car

sometimes. This whole scene is irrational to me, which screams OCD.

Yet, I read in the 'Imp of the Mind' that OCD obsessions are only non-

reality based. It seems illogical and very unlikely that she will be

late-- so maybe this obsession is not reality-based. Once, and only

once, we were late because it was raining and took FORTY MINUTES to

get through the traffic on a four-mile stretch. It's like that one

episode has haunted her.

Please help me understand. I can't set up exposure if I don't even

know if this is OCD. (She does have OCD, Separation Anxiety Disorder

and some sensory hypersensitivity)

[Guest guest]

My son wouldn't go to school one day because he was so afraid of vomiting.

He kept saying his stomach hurt. I kept explaining to him that It was just

his nerves and that nerves can make you feel like you will vomit when you

actually don't. He just could not comprehend that, and like you said, was

sure it would happen even though it never has after this feeling comes.

Adele

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Dina

Sent: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 8:03 PM

Subject: Re: question-need answers!

My OCD'er obsesses about vomiting. Something that absolutely COULD

happen. It doesn't have to be non-reality based, but the extent to

which they take it is. No one likes to vomit, but my DD thought about

it every minute of the day until she would lay on the floor by the

toilet with a salivating mouth, just " sure " it was going to happen at

any moment. She also stopped eating because the " full feeling " made her

think she may vomit. THAT'S obsessing about a real thing that could happen.

Sounds like an OCD issue to me!

Dina

>

>

>

> -

>

[Guest guest]

I also think what my psychologist and I both examined in the " psych bible "

was that when it keeps you from having a normal way of life, can't think of

the term right now in the book, but when these obsessions alter your way of

living and keep you from doing what you normally would do without them,

which my sons totally do. Many of us have anxieties and OCD traits but they

don't stop us from living, we are able to blow them off and keep going where

my son can't do that.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Nchaotic@...

Sent: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 8:30 PM

Subject: Re: question-need answers!

And I think that what truly distinguishes the normal " crap, we're going to

be late " from what you describe with your daughter is the EXCESSIVE worry

and

resulting anxiety surrounding the initial innocent thought that basically

classifies it as " not normal " when the anxiety and " obsession " takes over.

In a message dated 9/27/2006 7:10:54 PM Central Standard Time,

jchabotsnet (DOT) <mailto:jchabot%40snet.net> net writes:

She seems to only have ocd issues that evolve around real life , like being

late or not studying enough, getting an A, etc. It seems to be mostly school

related. She will get very anxious and will start flipping out, and yelling,

etc

[Guest guest]

It is my layman understanding that ocd is an anxiety disorder. My ocd son is

similar to your daughter in that he does not like being late for his

appointments especially to his ballet dancing school. The ballet school is

strict about being on time because the kids must have a proper warm-up or

they can hurt themselves. I don't know if it is the OCD specifically but it

is certainly the anxiety aspect and perhaps the perfectionist aspect. We

have been late a couple of times and he gets upset but handles it fairly

well. However, as a safe guard to avoid us being late, he gets ready way

before the time and reminds me of the time as it progresses. Usually I need

to do that as a parent with my kids but with the ocd son, it is the

opposite. I tend to think a behavior or trait is ocd-based if it is more

extreme than the norm. Right or wrong, I tend to think about how his non-ocd

brothers respond or handle certain situations and if my ocd son handles it

significantly different then I label it as potentially ocd

behavior/thought/etc. I do think OCD is often based on reality. For example

the classic hand-washing ritutal is based on reality. We do need to keep our

hands clean but the ocd person takes that to extreme.

-

[Guest guest]

adele

I hear you - I keep re-playing this school episode over and over and

thinking exactly what you said - she can manipulate, she is too smart

too creative and then there's the OCD stuff that she can't help (or not

without a fight) so frustrating!!!!!!!

Eileen

Quoting Adele Mahan <adelem@...>:

> Thanks ,

>

> I have learned the same thing. It was interesting because I talked with

> someone at a program for OCD and after telling them about my son they didn't

> think he had OCD but GAD. This all came about only after talking for 5

> minutes. But this was a program that is one of the top in the country in

> working with kids and OCD. So that made me start to doubt that he had OCD.

> Then I started thinking maybe I didn't communicate properly the behaviors my

> son actually have. This is what lead me to go over the compulsions checklist

> and see what my son was thinking.

>

>

>

> My psychologist and I have gone over this many times, examining the verbage

> in his " pscych book " with the true definition of OCD. I really think without

> a doubt that my son DOES have OCD. The interesting thing about all this is

> that many times the obsessions are really more of a issue in his life then

> the fears and anxiety. His obsessions are what bring him screaming in a

> restaurant, not willing to flex socially, not able to obey, etc, etc.

>

>

>

> All this can be so complicated, and then you add the fact that medicines are

> not working, causing negative reactions that lead to Bi-Polar, ADD traits,

> exceptionally intelligant with high manipulation skills, very creative, etc,

> etc. Ugg!! How do you ever figure this all out much less try and manage some

> of it. It is soo nice to finally have at least one diagnoses that makes some

> since of this. For years I have said that my son is the most complicated

> child with layers of issues. And then its hard because his brain just thinks

> so different and he has so many secrets that no one knows.

>

> ADele

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Nchaotic@...

> Sent: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 9:10 PM

>

> Subject: Re: Re: question-need answers!

>

>

>

>

> Adele -

> I'd be willing to bet the farm that the " typical " hand washing, tapping

> walls, etc like so many OCD people get " is not that typical at all. OCD is

> so

> complicated, BUT the media and books only show those " typical " behaviors and

>

> automatically associate OCD as the " handwashing disease. " Kind of like

> Tourette's - From the media and other sources, people automatically assume

> that

> Tourette's is the cursing disease. I've spent MANY years fighting this

> stereotype in the school with my son- Teacher's only know what they hear and

> see on TV

> and anything else is just plain " he's lazy " or " he doesn't want to do it. "

>

>

>

>

> In a message dated 9/27/2006 8:03:07 PM Central Standard Time,

> adelemcarolina (DOT) <mailto:adelem%40carolina.rr.com> rr.com writes:

>

> He doesn't do the typical washing hands, tapping walls,

> etc, like so many OCD people get

>

>