Re: A poll

[Guest guest]

unfortunitly no i'm not in a relationship at the moment but love when

i am and am looking to be in another soon (i hope)... I've been in

few but they never last very long 6months tops... i lose interest

fast ( o'well lol uhh all have been able bodied... the way i see

it is i need to much physical care to be with someone that has the

same physical needs as well. i've met/meet guys many different

ways... some i've met on the phone like on a party line... some i've

met by just being somewhere and a guy'll come talk to me... and a few

i have met online... now i go to clubs and i meet them there lol So

linda ur not the only one out there thats not in a relationship!! lol

>

> Are you in a relationship?

> If so, for how long?

> Is your partner disabled or able bodied?

>

> Amy

> Wife to Will 11/3/95

> Mother to Olivia Isabelle 9/18/03

> http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/o/oliviathegreat/

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Me either.

Re: Re: a poll

>>Date: Sun, 31 Oct 2004 09:24:05 EST

>>

>>With this poll, I feel as if I'm the only one NOT in a relationship. Any

>>others not in relationship? I feel so alone here.

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

I've never been in a relationship and the loneliness is pretty hellish

honestly. Despite huge

notoriety locally from my advocacy successes, I've been too trapped by

nurses to date -- and also have really bad luck. I like girls but then

don't know what next step to take. Hopefully I can get my own place

soon. Then I can invite people over easily.

Didn't post before 'cause I feel selfish whining about this.

This topic is hugely important and I hope others will keep sharing their

stories.

Best,

Nick

[Guest guest]

i have a question for you nat..if you didnt like any of them...whyd you have

sex with one of them?

.jessica.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/2004 1:28:48 PM Mountain Standard Time,

alrt@... writes:

> disabled teenage girls become pregnant

> at a rate that is double that of their non-disabled peers.

Whoa. That one really shocked me. I guess it shouldn't have, because I

definitely can see why it would be true. But it really makes me sad. This whole

conversation makes me sad. Maybe I'm all alone on this one, but isn't there

anybody who believes that sex should be saved for marriage anymore? Where did

the

oxymoron " casual sex " even come from? There's nothing casual about it. Sex

should be the ultimate expression of love, commitment, and selflessness. Such

extreme emotions that one should only share with their spouse. Call me

old-fashioned, but you can't call me old. I'm 20--young enough to vividly

remember being a

teenager, and old enough to think clearer than I did then. I don't want to

come across as being judgmental towards anyone, because that's certainly not

what I'm intending. But who knows how many impressionable teenage girls read

this

list. It makes me sad that so many (in the world in general, again, not

targeting anybody) feel they need to have sex to prove they're mature, loveable,

accepted, etc. I often struggled, and still do, with those feelings. And I

didn't have a mom that talked to me about sex ever. But how is having sex

supposed

to prove anything? It doesn't require any sort of maturity on your part or

love on the other person's part. Maturity is making wise decisions that aren't

going to sacrifice something valuable to you or put anybody in danger. Maturity

is weighing all consequences before acting. True love is love for you as a

person, not lust after your body. Somebody who loves you will respect you more

than that. And maturity involves respecting yourself more than that.

I know there are plenty of people on this list who don't share my values and

completely disagree with me. But I really felt like I needed to add some

balance to this discussion.

~e

[Guest guest]

e,

I'm 53 and I can tell you that you're a very wise young woman. I agree with

your values and, at one time, believed in virginity until marriage. I don't

believe that you necessarily have to be married to have sex, as many of us have

never married, but I believe that you should be a responsible adult. I can't

understand teenagers having sex. I don't think that they really understand the

consequences or can handle such an adult relationship. I certainly judge no one

for I'm no saint,but I'm very concerned about the young people today.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/2004 4:55:17 PM Mountain Standard Time,

nekrosys@... writes:

> My husband and I waited until we were married. Unfortunately, the way

> Medicaid/Medicare is set up, many people cannot get married or they will

> lose all their insurance benefits. It's almost like the government

> wants to deny us the ability to marry like anyone else.

Oh I know, and I think it's awful the way the government discourages marriage

that way. In fact, I know of some faculty members at my school that are in

Washington DC trying to create legislation to change that. I know there are

people who consider themselves married, even if they can't do it officially, and

I

can see how that's different.

~e

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/2004 5:08:13 PM Mountain Standard Time,

sunshine9573@... writes:

> The comments that natz got

> from her sister I got from my mother when I was her

> age (we fought alot). There was no way she would ever

> discuss sex either, that topic was just out of the

> question.

>

I hear ya on that one. Spending time at home with my mom... yeah, that's

always really tough still.

~e

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/2004 5:31:01 PM Mountain Standard Time,

lilredhalo@... writes:

> i have a best friend that thinks

> the exact way u think and its really great BUT a lot of young girls

> and even women our age still struggle with who they r and acceptance

> and everything!! but i do understand how others and u cant really

> relate to that kind of thinking... some of u have stong will and

> really good heads on ur shoulders... some of us r a bit messed up and

> confussed... maybe a bit more needy...

We all struggle with who we are, acceptance, and all those issues. I've been

a teenager very recently! And I still struggle emotionally. I most definitely

relate to that kind of thinking. But with some proper education and guidance,

I don't think it's hard to see that sex is not the answer. I'm not judging

anybody. I just find it sad that so many people are lacking the education and

the

emotional resources to fill their needs without turning to sex. Like I said,

my family didn't really give me the guidance I needed, and society didn't

either. I have to attribute my moral guidance to my religion, and I'm so

grateful

that I've always had that. I just believe that there's something VERY wrong

with a society that is leaving so many girls to feel that this is the best

solution to their emotional difficulties.

~e

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/2004 5:50:33 PM Mountain Standard Time,

hollyrp@... writes:

> I am totally with you here. I'm usually the one seen as a conservative

> extremist in several of my contact circles " IRL " , so it's nice to know I'm

> not the only one. ;-) I too feel that marriage is sacred, a special bond

> between a husband and wife, and all the parts of it are inherently spiritual

>

> in some way. And I do believe in waiting until marriage, because should

> marriage happen for me, I want it to be a gift. Do I hate people who make

> different choices than I have? Of course not. Many of my friends, both

> online and offline, have not believed like I do and have chosen other ways,

> and I love them all the same. But I just have my beliefs, and to me they

> are extremely important. So it's the right decision for me.

Holly, I just have to ask. That sounded SO Mormon, you don't happen to be

LDS, do you?

~e

[Guest guest]

I know that your benefits are affected when you marry, but is it true they're

also affected if you marry someone else on benefits? Also, what if you just

live with a man, are your benefits affected by another person living with you?

[Guest guest]

when i was a mentor in a program for teenage girls with disabilities, i

learned an interesting statistic...disabled teenage girls become pregnant

at a rate that is double that of their non-disabled peers. the reasons are

varied and include trying to fit in, sexual assault, proving that we're

loveable/desirable/grown up, showing we can care for another, lack of

education about birth control or how to abstain, it feels good...the list

goes on. these are the same reasons non-disabled girls have sex, but ouf

larger number is telling of our struggles to be included socially and

educationally.

natalie, you don't need to justify your actions to any of us. we all make

mistakes and hopefully learn from them. i'm glad you felt able to ask for

help and share your experience.

alana

At 11:54 AM 11/1/2004, you wrote:

>i have a question for you nat..if you didnt like any of them...whyd you have

>sex with one of them?

>

>

>.jessica.

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/2004 6:47:09 PM Eastern Standard Time,

PurplGurl3@... writes:

yourself more than that.

I know there are plenty of people on this list who don't share my values and

completely disagree with me. But I really felt like I needed to add some

balance to this discussion.

Very well said, e!

Amy

Wife to Will 11/3/95

Mother to Olivia Isabelle 9/18/03

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/o/oliviathegreat/

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/2004 7:51:54 PM Mountain Standard Time,

hollyrp@... writes:

> Nope, I am not Mormon. I was raised with Baptist beliefs, although I

> didn't

> go to church frequently. The first college I attended was a Baptist

> college, and it was there that I learned how to think for myself. Over the

> last few years, I've come to view myself as nondenominational, because as a

> Christian, I just feel that believing in Christ and His teachings are the

> important things. Striving to be more like Him. In my way of thinking, all

>

> the rest is just religion, and as a paraphrase of something one of my

> friends used to say, faith is from God, but religion is man-made. :-) I

> want the good stuff. :-)

Just had to check! Some things you said almost sounded like you were quoting

a common document in our religion, " The Family: A Proclamation to the World. "

I might argue your views on a relgion, but your strong beliefs in Christ sound

right on.

~e

[Guest guest]

PurplGurl3@... wrote:

> Maybe I'm all alone on this one, but isn't there anybody who believes

> that sex should be saved for marriage anymore?

My husband and I waited until we were married. Unfortunately, the way

Medicaid/Medicare is set up, many people cannot get married or they will

lose all their insurance benefits. It's almost like the government

wants to deny us the ability to marry like anyone else.

--

Jenn Malatesta

http://www.isoc.net/brokeninside/nekrosys/

[Guest guest]

Hey i totally agree on the whole " should wait to be in real love and

or marriage " NOW!! if i knew and thought what i know and think now i

would not have done things i did and i do understand about young

girls reading these post but there is a advisery on here but anyways

thats not what i'm trying to say.... i have a best friend that thinks

the exact way u think and its really great BUT a lot of young girls

and even women our age still struggle with who they r and acceptance

and everything!! but i do understand how others and u cant really

relate to that kind of thinking... some of u have stong will and

really good heads on ur shoulders... some of us r a bit messed up and

confussed... maybe a bit more needy... i mayself am still very needy

but i'm stronger now too... i know what i want and what i dont and i

know when to say no and mean it without feeling bad...

> In a message dated 11/1/2004 1:28:48 PM Mountain Standard Time,

> alrt@e... writes:

>

> > disabled teenage girls become pregnant

> > at a rate that is double that of their non-disabled peers.

>

> Whoa. That one really shocked me. I guess it shouldn't have,

because I

> definitely can see why it would be true. But it really makes me

sad. This whole

> conversation makes me sad. Maybe I'm all alone on this one, but

isn't there

> anybody who believes that sex should be saved for marriage anymore?

Where did the

> oxymoron " casual sex " even come from? There's nothing casual about

it. Sex

> should be the ultimate expression of love, commitment, and

selflessness. Such

> extreme emotions that one should only share with their spouse. Call

me

> old-fashioned, but you can't call me old. I'm 20--young enough to

vividly remember being a

> teenager, and old enough to think clearer than I did then. I don't

want to

> come across as being judgmental towards anyone, because that's

certainly not

> what I'm intending. But who knows how many impressionable teenage

girls read this

> list. It makes me sad that so many (in the world in general, again,

not

> targeting anybody) feel they need to have sex to prove they're

mature, loveable,

> accepted, etc. I often struggled, and still do, with those

feelings. And I

> didn't have a mom that talked to me about sex ever. But how is

having sex supposed

> to prove anything? It doesn't require any sort of maturity on your

part or

> love on the other person's part. Maturity is making wise decisions

that aren't

> going to sacrifice something valuable to you or put anybody in

danger. Maturity

> is weighing all consequences before acting. True love is love for

you as a

> person, not lust after your body. Somebody who loves you will

respect you more

> than that. And maturity involves respecting yourself more than

that.

>

> I know there are plenty of people on this list who don't share my

values and

> completely disagree with me. But I really felt like I needed to add

some

> balance to this discussion.

>

> ~e

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

e,

I am totally with you here. I'm usually the one seen as a conservative

extremist in several of my contact circles " IRL " , so it's nice to know I'm

not the only one. ;-) I too feel that marriage is sacred, a special bond

between a husband and wife, and all the parts of it are inherently spiritual

in some way. And I do believe in waiting until marriage, because should

marriage happen for me, I want it to be a gift. Do I hate people who make

different choices than I have? Of course not. Many of my friends, both

online and offline, have not believed like I do and have chosen other ways,

and I love them all the same. But I just have my beliefs, and to me they

are extremely important. So it's the right decision for me.

Blessings,

Holly

Re: Re: a poll

>

> In a message dated 11/1/2004 1:28:48 PM Mountain Standard Time,

> alrt@... writes:

>

>> disabled teenage girls become pregnant

>> at a rate that is double that of their non-disabled peers.

>

> Whoa. That one really shocked me. I guess it shouldn't have, because I

> definitely can see why it would be true. But it really makes me sad. This

> whole

> conversation makes me sad. Maybe I'm all alone on this one, but isn't

> there

> anybody who believes that sex should be saved for marriage anymore? Where

> did the

> oxymoron " casual sex " even come from? There's nothing casual about it. Sex

> should be the ultimate expression of love, commitment, and selflessness.

> Such

> extreme emotions that one should only share with their spouse. Call me

> old-fashioned, but you can't call me old. I'm 20--young enough to vividly

> remember being a

> teenager, and old enough to think clearer than I did then. I don't want to

> come across as being judgmental towards anyone, because that's certainly

> not

> what I'm intending. But who knows how many impressionable teenage girls

> read this

> list. It makes me sad that so many (in the world in general, again, not

> targeting anybody) feel they need to have sex to prove they're mature,

> loveable,

> accepted, etc. I often struggled, and still do, with those feelings. And I

> didn't have a mom that talked to me about sex ever. But how is having sex

> supposed

> to prove anything? It doesn't require any sort of maturity on your part or

> love on the other person's part. Maturity is making wise decisions that

> aren't

> going to sacrifice something valuable to you or put anybody in danger.

> Maturity

> is weighing all consequences before acting. True love is love for you as a

> person, not lust after your body. Somebody who loves you will respect you

> more

> than that. And maturity involves respecting yourself more than that.

>

> I know there are plenty of people on this list who don't share my values

> and

> completely disagree with me. But I really felt like I needed to add some

> balance to this discussion.

>

> ~e

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

e,

Nope, I am not Mormon. I was raised with Baptist beliefs, although I didn't

go to church frequently. The first college I attended was a Baptist

college, and it was there that I learned how to think for myself. Over the

last few years, I've come to view myself as nondenominational, because as a

Christian, I just feel that believing in Christ and His teachings are the

important things. Striving to be more like Him. In my way of thinking, all

the rest is just religion, and as a paraphrase of something one of my

friends used to say, faith is from God, but religion is man-made. :-) I

want the good stuff. :-)

Blessings,

Holly

Re: Re: a poll

>

> In a message dated 11/1/2004 5:50:33 PM Mountain Standard Time,

> hollyrp@... writes:

>

>> I am totally with you here. I'm usually the one seen as a conservative

>> extremist in several of my contact circles " IRL " , so it's nice to know

>> I'm

>> not the only one. ;-) I too feel that marriage is sacred, a special

>> bond

>> between a husband and wife, and all the parts of it are inherently

>> spiritual

>>

>> in some way. And I do believe in waiting until marriage, because should

>> marriage happen for me, I want it to be a gift. Do I hate people who

>> make

>> different choices than I have? Of course not. Many of my friends, both

>> online and offline, have not believed like I do and have chosen other

>> ways,

>> and I love them all the same. But I just have my beliefs, and to me they

>> are extremely important. So it's the right decision for me.

>

> Holly, I just have to ask. That sounded SO Mormon, you don't happen to be

> LDS, do you?

>

> ~e

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/04 8:11:56 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Aunt617@... writes:

> I know that your benefits are affected when you marry, but is it true

> they're

> also affected if you marry someone else on benefits? Also, what if you just

> live with a man, are your benefits affected by another person living with

> you?

>

>

>

yes your benefits are affected. u may not lose them entirely, but it can be

reduced b/c now there r 2 of u. also some benefits assume getting married is

an act of independence therefor if u r recieving benefits b/c u r considered a

dependent, u will lose them regardless who u marry.

kimi

[Guest guest]

> Are you in a relationship?

> If so, for how long?

> Is your partner disabled or able bodied?

Adri:

I just broke up with my b/f of 5 years.

I am soul searching at the moment. It is difficult to overcome the

fear of rejection, because my body is not normal. I hate meeting

new ppl or being in situations with strangers. It is just too

stressful.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/31/2004 8:30:56 AM Central Standard Time,

Aunt617@... writes:

With this poll, I feel as if I'm the only one NOT in a relationship. Any

others not in relationship? I feel so alone here.

I'm not in a relationship.

Kathie

[Guest guest]

-- " and the power of

prayer is awesome. "

Yes it is. Awesome. Thanks for saying that.

Cenlared