Re: QUESTION ABOUT DEPRESSION??

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/6/2006 8:32:53 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

pba1221d@... writes:

Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

now.

Dana

I haven't had a chance to read all the replies you received to this, but

here's mine. YES. I was horribly depressed. I cried, I couldn't sleep. It

infected my entire day. I quit my job because it was just too much to work

(even part time) during the day & have to deal with everything that was

happening at home in the evenings. My job was high stress as it was, but

adding the

OCD & what it was doing to our family.... it was OVER the top for me. I

absolutely DREADED evenings at home, yet I couldn't leave ( and believe me...

it

did actually get to a point where I wanted to be anywhere else but home -

even though my daughter was suffering horribly and I wanted to help so much, I

could feel a physical ache in my heart... actually FEEL the hurt in my heart

for her because I couldn't do anything about it.)

My daughter has much improved due to Prozac - I thank God every day for it.

But, the hard fact is that it's not over. The Prozac is a " band-aid " and I

know that. I'm not stupid. This is NOT a fix.... we're working on that &

it's like going back to the proverbial 'square one' to do it. Even though she

was diagnosed last January, we haven't really actually started the therapy

yet (ERP) because it took so long to find a doctor in our area who offered it.

We've been to 2 different docs who offer CBT - the first knew nothing about

OCD & was completely worthless (to us... I'm sure a fine therapist

otherwise)... the second didn't believe ERP helped & only did CBT for a very

specific

patient group (short term treatment for mostly kids with terminal illness), so

again, not much help for us. We have high hopes for the new doctor as we

start the exposure treatment. My daughter won't even utter the term " OCD " she

despises talking about it & going to the doctor's office. Now she wants to

stop the Prozac because " Look how much better I am... I'm not taking 3 hour

showers anymore.... blah blah blah "

She simply refuses to believe that it's the meds " doing it for her. " She

thinks that just because she's having an easy time of it now, she can stop

taking the meds & it will stay the same. We told her that if she learns all

there is to learn from this doctor & does the ERP exercises to help with what

she

still has to deal with, we would talk to the psych. about decreasing the

Prozac a little at a time to see how she does.

I don't know. We'll see. But, I hope you realize you're not alone with

your feelings. I'm sure every mother on this board has had the same feelings -

some to a higher degree than others, as some of the kids are struggling with

more serious forms of OCD than others... or have other issues thrown in on

top of it.

I count my blessings EVERY DAY that we have it as easy as we do and that the

meds worked so well for us without switching around. Sometimes I feel like

I'm letting my guard down prematurely & that this is just the calm before the

storm. I don't know. We shall see.

Good luck to you & your family. You'll find lots of support here on the

board - all the people are wonderful.

LT

[Guest guest]

I was crying so much at the initial onset, that was in April of this year,

daily, sometimes hourly. Now, though I still feel really sad and upset that he

is going through this, I haven't cried about it in over a month. Well, if you

don't count my pms, meltdown this month. I guess you just get used to a new

normal.

We went through stages. At first, we were in a panic, a complete tailspin and we

just fell apart. Then, we started buying him so much stuff. I guess it was our

only way to handle it. Trying to buy something, maybe the right toy, game,

t-shirt, movie, will fix it, crazy huh? Then we traveled, and went on a cruise

to try and get away from it all. Well, OCD monster, or Big Bully, as Ben calls

him, came along, even though we made specific arrangements for it to stay home.

In fact, it was so mad that we tried to leave it behind, it took over the whole

cruise. This is where we first heard the term " special needs " in reference to

our child, from the children's camp counselor. That hit hard, special needs, the

term seemed to haunt us, " special " , in that way with the air quotes. Then we got

frustrated and angry, and snapped at each other, and unfortunately Ben too. That

was bad. Now, we are in a better place. We have been working with a great

therapist through all of this and I even saw here separately to help me deal

with it. We definably went through the stages of grief with this. I just now

realized it. We also keep our sense of humor about it. Sometimes you just have

to laugh to keep from going bonkers.

We have ups and downs. It seems just as I post that he has had no bad thoughts,

or BTs as we call them, it starts with again. So, I won't write that again.

(Obviously OCD monster has been reading my email and decided to show me, I've

got to change my password) Yesterday was bad, according to my dh, I was working

all day. Hopefully today will be better, we are looking for a puppy. You just

have to take it a day at a time, and not look to far ahead and try and imagine

what it will be like. You never know. Take good care of yourself and your

family, but really yourself. My dh and I make a point of trying to make things

easy for each other. Little treats, surprises, and making sure that we each get

time for ourselves. Dh suffers from depression and this all came about as he

left his job to go work in his brother's business. He was traveling all week,

and that may have started around the time OCD started. That fell through, with a

huge crash, though it came with a nice severance package. It worked out okay

because he was able to stay home for a while and focus on our family. We circle

our wagons. But, he was a little depressed, but not too bad, there was no time

for it really. I think if Ben wasn't counting on him so much, he would have

slipped into depression. He is about to return to work, so we are anticipating a

rough patch ahead. Up and down, then up again.

J

QUESTION ABOUT DEPRESSION??

I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is all so new

to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

this has been the worst.

My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

getting sick with the stomach flu.

Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

now. Thanks.

Dana

[Guest guest]

I was crying so much at the initial onset, that was in April of this year,

daily, sometimes hourly. Now, though I still feel really sad and upset that he

is going through this, I haven't cried about it in over a month. Well, if you

don't count my pms, meltdown this month. I guess you just get used to a new

normal.

We went through stages. At first, we were in a panic, a complete tailspin and we

just fell apart. Then, we started buying him so much stuff. I guess it was our

only way to handle it. Trying to buy something, maybe the right toy, game,

t-shirt, movie, will fix it, crazy huh? Then we traveled, and went on a cruise

to try and get away from it all. Well, OCD monster, or Big Bully, as Ben calls

him, came along, even though we made specific arrangements for it to stay home.

In fact, it was so mad that we tried to leave it behind, it took over the whole

cruise. This is where we first heard the term " special needs " in reference to

our child, from the children's camp counselor. That hit hard, special needs, the

term seemed to haunt us, " special " , in that way with the air quotes. Then we got

frustrated and angry, and snapped at each other, and unfortunately Ben too. That

was bad. Now, we are in a better place. We have been working with a great

therapist through all of this and I even saw here separately to help me deal

with it. We definably went through the stages of grief with this. I just now

realized it. We also keep our sense of humor about it. Sometimes you just have

to laugh to keep from going bonkers.

We have ups and downs. It seems just as I post that he has had no bad thoughts,

or BTs as we call them, it starts with again. So, I won't write that again.

(Obviously OCD monster has been reading my email and decided to show me, I've

got to change my password) Yesterday was bad, according to my dh, I was working

all day. Hopefully today will be better, we are looking for a puppy. You just

have to take it a day at a time, and not look to far ahead and try and imagine

what it will be like. You never know. Take good care of yourself and your

family, but really yourself. My dh and I make a point of trying to make things

easy for each other. Little treats, surprises, and making sure that we each get

time for ourselves. Dh suffers from depression and this all came about as he

left his job to go work in his brother's business. He was traveling all week,

and that may have started around the time OCD started. That fell through, with a

huge crash, though it came with a nice severance package. It worked out okay

because he was able to stay home for a while and focus on our family. We circle

our wagons. But, he was a little depressed, but not too bad, there was no time

for it really. I think if Ben wasn't counting on him so much, he would have

slipped into depression. He is about to return to work, so we are anticipating a

rough patch ahead. Up and down, then up again.

J

QUESTION ABOUT DEPRESSION??

I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is all so new

to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

this has been the worst.

My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

getting sick with the stomach flu.

Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

now. Thanks.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Dana,

I hit send before I could finish my post.

I've also come to realize that I probably have OCD myself, so now I'm going

through a little guilt for being the genetic link. Just take it easy about

everything if you can, and do what you have to do and leave the rest for

later.Nurture yourself too. I found my own little harmless ways to escape. I

bought all of the Gilmore Girls on CD, all five seasons, and that is my escape.

I got to Stars Hollow and forget for a while. Just as long as your escape method

isn't unhealthy, it is good to find something for your self to help you cope.

You will get better with all of this, you have no choice. Your child is counting

on you. It's easier to wallow when you don't have anyone depending on you. We

don't have that luxury for very long. I have a little plaque that says " Put your

big girl panties on and deal with it! " That seems to help me for some reason.

Good luck and feel better. There are many things worse than OCD, even if it

feels so horrible watching your child go through it. A friend of mine lost her

child to cancer at 18 months, and I always remember that, and it gives me a good

perspective on all of this. Everyone has a thing, an issue, our kids just got

their issues early on.

J

QUESTION ABOUT DEPRESSION??

I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is all so new

to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

this has been the worst.

My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

getting sick with the stomach flu.

Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

now. Thanks.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Dana,

For us and our family, when the doctor brought up the OCD word to me my

heart sank because I always thought that my husband and his family had OCD.

I have even joked about it in the past. Then when I told my husband what the

doctor diagnosed for our son he immediately excepted it like he knew all the

time. I have been reading tons of books on the subject and there is a huge

link to this genetically. I am really praying that through helping my son we

can help the rest of the family with this silent illness.

As for me, before all this I don’t think I had any OCD tendancies but to be

honest I feel like it is rubbing off on me also because of all you said. I

am finding my self obsessing on this trying to find out answers, laying in

bed at night unable to sleep thinking of our day and what I should have done

different. I have always been a very strong mentally person but I am feeling

weaker than ever right now. I have even gone through many hardships in my

life and come out ahead, but this one is harder than all. I think it is

because I realize I have absolutely no control on this. There is no quick

fix and it will never go away totally. I also think as a mom I always hurt

for my kids more than myself. I also think the fairy tale of having this

perfect kid is crushed. I have struggled with needing help for myself. I

asked our doctor this week could he charge different appointments for me and

my son so our insurance will be sure to cover my visits. Should I be finding

another psychologist just for me alone? Or would that complicate things? I

have wondered do I need to go on Zoloft to help with my depression with all

this? But then I see how long it is taking to adjust these meds and do I

really have the energy and patience to go through this myself while trying

to observe my son? Will I be able to think straight?

As for yourself having OCD I think you have to try and see if you had a

history of it before this came up with your child? It is possible but I also

think this is hard mentally on us moms too!

DP

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Dana

Sent: Sunday, August 06, 2006 8:29 AM

Subject: QUESTION ABOUT DEPRESSION??

I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is all so new

to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

this has been the worst.

My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

getting sick with the stomach flu.

Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

now. Thanks.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Dana,

For us and our family, when the doctor brought up the OCD word to me my

heart sank because I always thought that my husband and his family had OCD.

I have even joked about it in the past. Then when I told my husband what the

doctor diagnosed for our son he immediately excepted it like he knew all the

time. I have been reading tons of books on the subject and there is a huge

link to this genetically. I am really praying that through helping my son we

can help the rest of the family with this silent illness.

As for me, before all this I don’t think I had any OCD tendancies but to be

honest I feel like it is rubbing off on me also because of all you said. I

am finding my self obsessing on this trying to find out answers, laying in

bed at night unable to sleep thinking of our day and what I should have done

different. I have always been a very strong mentally person but I am feeling

weaker than ever right now. I have even gone through many hardships in my

life and come out ahead, but this one is harder than all. I think it is

because I realize I have absolutely no control on this. There is no quick

fix and it will never go away totally. I also think as a mom I always hurt

for my kids more than myself. I also think the fairy tale of having this

perfect kid is crushed. I have struggled with needing help for myself. I

asked our doctor this week could he charge different appointments for me and

my son so our insurance will be sure to cover my visits. Should I be finding

another psychologist just for me alone? Or would that complicate things? I

have wondered do I need to go on Zoloft to help with my depression with all

this? But then I see how long it is taking to adjust these meds and do I

really have the energy and patience to go through this myself while trying

to observe my son? Will I be able to think straight?

As for yourself having OCD I think you have to try and see if you had a

history of it before this came up with your child? It is possible but I also

think this is hard mentally on us moms too!

DP

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Dana

Sent: Sunday, August 06, 2006 8:29 AM

Subject: QUESTION ABOUT DEPRESSION??

I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is all so new

to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

this has been the worst.

My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

getting sick with the stomach flu.

Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

now. Thanks.

Dana

[Guest guest]

Hi Dana,

I think that is all I did was cry and cry and cry and cry!!! My heart breaks

for you. A plan of action helps a whole bunch. Once you feel on the road to

" recovery " , things start to feel a whole lot better.

Hang in there.

Dana <pba1221d@...> wrote:

I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is all so new

to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

this has been the worst.

My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

getting sick with the stomach flu.

Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

now. Thanks.

Dana

---------------------------------

Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+

countries) for 2¢/min or less.

[Guest guest]

I think what has helped when I get depressed about my son's OCD is

to empower myself with info. I also pray and call or e-mail my

friends. I feel the most hopeful when I am working to help him. I

have joined this group and others because I know that other parents

have the best info. I go to the library and get books like Brain

Lock and check OCD websites. I have an appointment Tuesday with a

Nutritionist to discuss natural remedies that we can try.

Since I have OCD myself I am going to try some natural items with my

son to see how they affect us both. I think it will help him to

feel better if he has someone to go through this with.

I have a very bright and funny son with OCD and a daughter with

hearing impairment and vision problems. Between them we have allot

of hospital-type stuff to keep on top of but they are kids first. I

never say " this is my hearing impaired daughter " , I say " This is my

daughter " and I MIGHT mention that she is hearing impaired. I am

treating my son's OCD the same way. This is not WHO he is. He is

so much more important than this thing that keeps bothering him.

Another thing that helps all of us is to just have non-issue fun.

When we are dealing with too much or just stressed out we take a

break. We walk to the pool, read together or play a board game.

Sometimes we just cuddle and talk about something random, like how

cool it would be to be able to fly, places we'd like to visit one

day, what they will name their kids, etc.

It's really not the end or the world as long as they are alive. It

is challenging and some days are much harder than others but we have

only just begun to fight.

When our daughter was little the doctors kept telling me negative

stuff and I was SO depressed until I finally told one of them that I

refuse to waste my daughter's childhood worrying about stuff that

may never happen. I held onto this statement as my credo and it has

helped me SO much when times get hard.

I was telling my friend the other day…

I knew having kids would be challenging.

You have to feed them, they poop allot, they need exercise and

companionship.

Then after I had my kids I realized that doesn't describe having

kids.

That describes having a dog.

Kids have issues and kids are much more enriching to your life.

Man that was long!

I hope this helps and doesn't sound like a lame lecture. This IS

hard stuff to cope with.

> I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is

all so new

> to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

> there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

> this has been the worst.

>

> My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

> with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

> off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

> am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

>

> How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

> sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

> feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

> and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

> feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

> getting sick with the stomach flu.

>

> Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you

found

> out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

> else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am

right

> now. Thanks.

>

> Dana

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and

30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think what has helped when I get depressed about my son's OCD is

to empower myself with info. I also pray and call or e-mail my

friends. I feel the most hopeful when I am working to help him. I

have joined this group and others because I know that other parents

have the best info. I go to the library and get books like Brain

Lock and check OCD websites. I have an appointment Tuesday with a

Nutritionist to discuss natural remedies that we can try.

Since I have OCD myself I am going to try some natural items with my

son to see how they affect us both. I think it will help him to

feel better if he has someone to go through this with.

I have a very bright and funny son with OCD and a daughter with

hearing impairment and vision problems. Between them we have allot

of hospital-type stuff to keep on top of but they are kids first. I

never say " this is my hearing impaired daughter " , I say " This is my

daughter " and I MIGHT mention that she is hearing impaired. I am

treating my son's OCD the same way. This is not WHO he is. He is

so much more important than this thing that keeps bothering him.

Another thing that helps all of us is to just have non-issue fun.

When we are dealing with too much or just stressed out we take a

break. We walk to the pool, read together or play a board game.

Sometimes we just cuddle and talk about something random, like how

cool it would be to be able to fly, places we'd like to visit one

day, what they will name their kids, etc.

It's really not the end or the world as long as they are alive. It

is challenging and some days are much harder than others but we have

only just begun to fight.

When our daughter was little the doctors kept telling me negative

stuff and I was SO depressed until I finally told one of them that I

refuse to waste my daughter's childhood worrying about stuff that

may never happen. I held onto this statement as my credo and it has

helped me SO much when times get hard.

I was telling my friend the other day…

I knew having kids would be challenging.

You have to feed them, they poop allot, they need exercise and

companionship.

Then after I had my kids I realized that doesn't describe having

kids.

That describes having a dog.

Kids have issues and kids are much more enriching to your life.

Man that was long!

I hope this helps and doesn't sound like a lame lecture. This IS

hard stuff to cope with.

> I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is

all so new

> to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

> there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

> this has been the worst.

>

> My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

> with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

> off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

> am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

>

> How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

> sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

> feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

> and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

> feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

> getting sick with the stomach flu.

>

> Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you

found

> out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

> else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am

right

> now. Thanks.

>

> Dana

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and

30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dana - I've been a happy go lucky person always and I too have burst

out with sadness that dd has to go through this - to be honest this

support group is AWESOME BUT can make you think TOO much and let the

OCD take more of your time and your life away - it's almost addicting -

I have made myself stop some days and said go spend time with her and

have fun instead of concentrating on finding out all you can about OCD

- not that it's not important but you need to try to give yourself a

break from it too - I wish I had answers to help with the stomach thing

and this may sound ridiculous as it's probably something a non OCD

parent would say but out of frustration or whatever, we have told her

that's " it's not going to happen " or " it hasn't happened and here you

are fine " and it worked - most OCD can't think logically but it did at

times??? just a thought

hang in and thanks

Eileen

- Quoting Dana <pba1221d@...>:

> I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is all so new

> to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

> there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

> this has been the worst.

>

> My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

> with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

> off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

> am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

>

> How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

> sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

> feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

> and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

> feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

> getting sick with the stomach flu.

>

> Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

> out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

> else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

> now. Thanks.

>

> Dana

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dana wrote:

>

> I know I have been asking so many questions, but this is all so new

> to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as well because

> there are certain times I can't get something out of my mind and

> this has been the worst.

>

> My question to all the mom's out there...were any of you diagnosed

> with depression before your child was OCD? I have suffered on and

> off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am worried that I

> am going to worry myself into another episode of depression.

>

> How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of overwhelming

> sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find myself just

> feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make it all better

> and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most other mom's

> feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the worries about

> getting sick with the stomach flu.

>

> Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot when you found

> out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think about anything

> else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's where I am right

> now. Thanks.

>

> Dana

>

> Dana,

>

> I absolutely felt that way at the beginning! And it took us a year

> and a half to figure out what was going on with our daughter. It was

> scary and heartbreaking. I mourned a lot when she was finally

> diagnosed, as I knew it wasn't a disorder that was easy to deal with,

> nor would it go away. Her potential in life was changed. I couldnt'

> get it out of my mind. I was very sad and I cried. She was just so

> beautiful and talented and PERFECT! She could do anything in life she

> wanted and.....now what? It was unknown. But, I've moved past that.

> I still feel it's terribly unfair for her when she's going through a

> difficult time, but I've seen her function perfectly well when the

> medication is right and then we all relax and get back to the business

> of being a " normal " family. I don't cry anymore, I just help her deal

> with things as they come and we adjust our lifestyle as necessary to

> help her.

> Dina

> _

[Guest guest]

I have called my daughter's therapist multiple times

when I was just feeling overwhelmed. One day we got to

our appointment and she asked for me to come back

first. She said I looked like I was at the end of my

rope and was I doing OK and reminded me that I needed

to take care of myself and tell my husband doctor's

orders that he watch the kids at least once a week so

I could have alone time. I have 4 kids and work as a

teacher with special needs kids. I do get really

stressed out. I have also gotten authorization from my

insurance for visits on my own and currently this

summer my husband and I have gone several times

together to try and work on parenting strategies. My

husband also has OCD. Ironically enough, he's super

neat and my dd is super messy. It's tough. This is all

tough, but, there is help out there.

Darletta

--- Adele Mahan <adelem@...> wrote:

> Dana,

>

> For us and our family, when the doctor brought up

> the OCD word to me my

> heart sank because I always thought that my husband

> and his family had OCD.

> I have even joked about it in the past. Then when I

> told my husband what the

> doctor diagnosed for our son he immediately excepted

> it like he knew all the

> time. I have been reading tons of books on the

> subject and there is a huge

> link to this genetically. I am really praying that

> through helping my son we

> can help the rest of the family with this silent

> illness.

>

>

>

> As for me, before all this I don’t think I had any

> OCD tendancies but to be

> honest I feel like it is rubbing off on me also

> because of all you said. I

> am finding my self obsessing on this trying to find

> out answers, laying in

> bed at night unable to sleep thinking of our day and

> what I should have done

> different. I have always been a very strong mentally

> person but I am feeling

> weaker than ever right now. I have even gone through

> many hardships in my

> life and come out ahead, but this one is harder than

> all. I think it is

> because I realize I have absolutely no control on

> this. There is no quick

> fix and it will never go away totally. I also think

> as a mom I always hurt

> for my kids more than myself. I also think the fairy

> tale of having this

> perfect kid is crushed. I have struggled with

> needing help for myself. I

> asked our doctor this week could he charge different

> appointments for me and

> my son so our insurance will be sure to cover my

> visits. Should I be finding

> another psychologist just for me alone? Or would

> that complicate things? I

> have wondered do I need to go on Zoloft to help with

> my depression with all

> this? But then I see how long it is taking to adjust

> these meds and do I

> really have the energy and patience to go through

> this myself while trying

> to observe my son? Will I be able to think straight?

>

>

>

> As for yourself having OCD I think you have to try

> and see if you had a

> history of it before this came up with your child?

> It is possible but I also

> think this is hard mentally on us moms too!

>

> DP

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf

> Of Dana

> Sent: Sunday, August 06, 2006 8:29 AM

>

> Subject: QUESTION ABOUT

> DEPRESSION??

>

>

>

> I know I have been asking so many questions, but

> this is all so new

> to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as

> well because

> there are certain times I can't get something out of

> my mind and

> this has been the worst.

>

> My question to all the mom's out there...were any of

> you diagnosed

> with depression before your child was OCD? I have

> suffered on and

> off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am

> worried that I

> am going to worry myself into another episode of

> depression.

>

> How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of

> overwhelming

> sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find

> myself just

> feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make

> it all better

> and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most

> other mom's

> feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the

> worries about

> getting sick with the stomach flu.

>

> Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot

> when you found

> out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think

> about anything

> else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's

> where I am right

> now. Thanks.

>

> Dana

>

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Darletta,

Thanks for your post, I have been thinking all day whether to go into my

doctors tomorrow alone. That is a great idea to get special authorization

from my insurance to go more often for myself. I just need to let it all out

with a professional and then I think I can move on.

My husband is also very clean and my dd is very messy. We are constantly

argueing over my sons mess. My husband thinks I am a mess also but I think

its just that I am tired and can't keep up with my son. I do struggle with

where is the balance on what clean and dirty is? What is OCD with this and

what is normal?

Thanks and hopefully we all can get healthier in time!

DP

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Darletta Jaycox

Sent: Sunday, August 06, 2006 5:32 PM

Subject: RE: QUESTION ABOUT DEPRESSION??

I have called my daughter's therapist multiple times

when I was just feeling overwhelmed. One day we got to

our appointment and she asked for me to come back

first. She said I looked like I was at the end of my

rope and was I doing OK and reminded me that I needed

to take care of myself and tell my husband doctor's

orders that he watch the kids at least once a week so

I could have alone time. I have 4 kids and work as a

teacher with special needs kids. I do get really

stressed out. I have also gotten authorization from my

insurance for visits on my own and currently this

summer my husband and I have gone several times

together to try and work on parenting strategies. My

husband also has OCD. Ironically enough, he's super

neat and my dd is super messy. It's tough. This is all

tough, but, there is help out there.

Darletta

--- Adele Mahan <adelemcarolina (DOT) <mailto:adelem%40carolina.rr.com> rr.com>

wrote:

> Dana,

>

> For us and our family, when the doctor brought up

> the OCD word to me my

> heart sank because I always thought that my husband

> and his family had OCD.

> I have even joked about it in the past. Then when I

> told my husband what the

> doctor diagnosed for our son he immediately excepted

> it like he knew all the

> time. I have been reading tons of books on the

> subject and there is a huge

> link to this genetically. I am really praying that

> through helping my son we

> can help the rest of the family with this silent

> illness.

>

>

>

> As for me, before all this I don't think I had any

> OCD tendancies but to be

> honest I feel like it is rubbing off on me also

> because of all you said. I

> am finding my self obsessing on this trying to find

> out answers, laying in

> bed at night unable to sleep thinking of our day and

> what I should have done

> different. I have always been a very strong mentally

> person but I am feeling

> weaker than ever right now. I have even gone through

> many hardships in my

> life and come out ahead, but this one is harder than

> all. I think it is

> because I realize I have absolutely no control on

> this. There is no quick

> fix and it will never go away totally. I also think

> as a mom I always hurt

> for my kids more than myself. I also think the fairy

> tale of having this

> perfect kid is crushed. I have struggled with

> needing help for myself. I

> asked our doctor this week could he charge different

> appointments for me and

> my son so our insurance will be sure to cover my

> visits. Should I be finding

> another psychologist just for me alone? Or would

> that complicate things? I

> have wondered do I need to go on Zoloft to help with

> my depression with all

> this? But then I see how long it is taking to adjust

> these meds and do I

> really have the energy and patience to go through

> this myself while trying

> to observe my son? Will I be able to think straight?

>

>

>

> As for yourself having OCD I think you have to try

> and see if you had a

> history of it before this came up with your child?

> It is possible but I also

> think this is hard mentally on us moms too!

>

> DP

>

>

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From: @ <mailto:%40>

> [mailto:@ <mailto:%40>

] On Behalf

> Of Dana

> Sent: Sunday, August 06, 2006 8:29 AM

> @ <mailto:%40>

> Subject: QUESTION ABOUT

> DEPRESSION??

>

>

>

> I know I have been asking so many questions, but

> this is all so new

> to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as

> well because

> there are certain times I can't get something out of

> my mind and

> this has been the worst.

>

> My question to all the mom's out there...were any of

> you diagnosed

> with depression before your child was OCD? I have

> suffered on and

> off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am

> worried that I

> am going to worry myself into another episode of

> depression.

>

> How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of

> overwhelming

> sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find

> myself just

> feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make

> it all better

> and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most

> other mom's

> feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the

> worries about

> getting sick with the stomach flu.

>

> Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot

> when you found

> out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think

> about anything

> else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's

> where I am right

> now. Thanks.

>

> Dana

>

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I feel so much compassion for you!

I have been in the same place as you, and in a way I am still there. A

mother feels all the pain of her child and carries it with her everywhere.

Nobody told me the pain would be as great as the love I feel for my

children.

I had to start taking Paxil for my depression but it has not solved all my

problems....it just takes the edge off and helps me deal with things a

little better.

Make sure you take good care of yourself. Don't feel guilty for taking some

time for your self and spending some money on yourself. You have to take

good care of your self so that you can take good care of your child.

Most importantly, don't hesitate to get professional help. You owe it to

your family. You have been through a terrible ordeal and are not expected

to deal with it on your own. You don't have ALL the answers.

Things will get better. Hand in there and let us know how you are doing.

Tracey

[Guest guest]

DP - funny you mention that - dh and I have the same clean/ dirty

issues and when it comes to dd's OCD sometimes I'm thinking it's OCD

and he says, " well she's got a point that is dirty, I'd wash too " - so

now looking at all her OCD issues - he's right they are things that are

dirty and bother most people - yet OCD is not supposed to be logical -

and obviously at her worst part the rituals were what made it illogical

but she was truly dirty when she initally wanted to wash - so confusing

isn't it all???

Eileen

Quoting Adele Mahan <adelem@...>:

> Darletta,

>

> Thanks for your post, I have been thinking all day whether to go into my

> doctors tomorrow alone. That is a great idea to get special authorization

> from my insurance to go more often for myself. I just need to let it all out

> with a professional and then I think I can move on.

>

>

>

> My husband is also very clean and my dd is very messy. We are constantly

> argueing over my sons mess. My husband thinks I am a mess also but I think

> its just that I am tired and can't keep up with my son. I do struggle with

> where is the balance on what clean and dirty is? What is OCD with this and

> what is normal?

>

>

>

> Thanks and hopefully we all can get healthier in time!

>

> DP

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Darletta Jaycox

> Sent: Sunday, August 06, 2006 5:32 PM

>

> Subject: RE: QUESTION ABOUT DEPRESSION??

>

>

>

> I have called my daughter's therapist multiple times

> when I was just feeling overwhelmed. One day we got to

> our appointment and she asked for me to come back

> first. She said I looked like I was at the end of my

> rope and was I doing OK and reminded me that I needed

> to take care of myself and tell my husband doctor's

> orders that he watch the kids at least once a week so

> I could have alone time. I have 4 kids and work as a

> teacher with special needs kids. I do get really

> stressed out. I have also gotten authorization from my

> insurance for visits on my own and currently this

> summer my husband and I have gone several times

> together to try and work on parenting strategies. My

> husband also has OCD. Ironically enough, he's super

> neat and my dd is super messy. It's tough. This is all

> tough, but, there is help out there.

> Darletta

>

> --- Adele Mahan <adelemcarolina (DOT) <mailto:adelem%40carolina.rr.com> rr.com>

> wrote:

>

>> Dana,

>>

>> For us and our family, when the doctor brought up

>> the OCD word to me my

>> heart sank because I always thought that my husband

>> and his family had OCD.

>> I have even joked about it in the past. Then when I

>> told my husband what the

>> doctor diagnosed for our son he immediately excepted

>> it like he knew all the

>> time. I have been reading tons of books on the

>> subject and there is a huge

>> link to this genetically. I am really praying that

>> through helping my son we

>> can help the rest of the family with this silent

>> illness.

>>

>>

>>

>> As for me, before all this I don't think I had any

>> OCD tendancies but to be

>> honest I feel like it is rubbing off on me also

>> because of all you said. I

>> am finding my self obsessing on this trying to find

>> out answers, laying in

>> bed at night unable to sleep thinking of our day and

>> what I should have done

>> different. I have always been a very strong mentally

>> person but I am feeling

>> weaker than ever right now. I have even gone through

>> many hardships in my

>> life and come out ahead, but this one is harder than

>> all. I think it is

>> because I realize I have absolutely no control on

>> this. There is no quick

>> fix and it will never go away totally. I also think

>> as a mom I always hurt

>> for my kids more than myself. I also think the fairy

>> tale of having this

>> perfect kid is crushed. I have struggled with

>> needing help for myself. I

>> asked our doctor this week could he charge different

>> appointments for me and

>> my son so our insurance will be sure to cover my

>> visits. Should I be finding

>> another psychologist just for me alone? Or would

>> that complicate things? I

>> have wondered do I need to go on Zoloft to help with

>> my depression with all

>> this? But then I see how long it is taking to adjust

>> these meds and do I

>> really have the energy and patience to go through

>> this myself while trying

>> to observe my son? Will I be able to think straight?

>>

>>

>>

>> As for yourself having OCD I think you have to try

>> and see if you had a

>> history of it before this came up with your child?

>> It is possible but I also

>> think this is hard mentally on us moms too!

>>

>> DP

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> _____

>>

>> From: @ <mailto:%40>

>

>> [mailto:@ <mailto:%40>

> ] On Behalf

>> Of Dana

>> Sent: Sunday, August 06, 2006 8:29 AM

>> @ <mailto:%40>

>

>> Subject: QUESTION ABOUT

>> DEPRESSION??

>>

>>

>>

>> I know I have been asking so many questions, but

>> this is all so new

>> to me. I wonder if I don't suffer from some OCD as

>> well because

>> there are certain times I can't get something out of

>> my mind and

>> this has been the worst.

>>

>> My question to all the mom's out there...were any of

>> you diagnosed

>> with depression before your child was OCD? I have

>> suffered on and

>> off bouts of depression since 1991. Right now, I am

>> worried that I

>> am going to worry myself into another episode of

>> depression.

>>

>> How do you handle the tremendous worry and sense of

>> overwhelming

>> sadness watching your child recover from OCD. I find

>> myself just

>> feeling SO SO SO sorry for him and just want to make

>> it all better

>> and I can't. When he hurts, I hurt, as I'm sure most

>> other mom's

>> feel. I just wish I could comfort him from the

>> worries about

>> getting sick with the stomach flu.

>>

>> Did you mom's all cry and fret and feel anxious alot

>> when you found

>> out about the OCD?? Did you find it hard to think

>> about anything

>> else or to get your mind on anything else?? That's

>> where I am right

>> now. Thanks.

>>

>> Dana

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> [Non-text portions of this message have been

>> removed]

>>

>>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I've found several things that really help.

1. Venting with friends who are willing to listen and understand that this is

real.

2. This support group helps tremendously. Everyone is so helpful and reading

the posts helps me know we're on the right track.

3. Actually receiving a diagnosis and knowing this is real.

4. Currently reading book by Dr. Chansky and am learning new tactics every day.

5. If you need help, the group is there for feedback. If you feel you are not

getting proper care, you have good, experienced support.

Best of luck,

Phyllis

[Guest guest]

I've found several things that really help.

1. Venting with friends who are willing to listen and understand that this is

real.

2. This support group helps tremendously. Everyone is so helpful and reading

the posts helps me know we're on the right track.

3. Actually receiving a diagnosis and knowing this is real.

4. Currently reading book by Dr. Chansky and am learning new tactics every day.

5. If you need help, the group is there for feedback. If you feel you are not

getting proper care, you have good, experienced support.

Best of luck,

Phyllis