Re: Church Issues Please Advise

[Guest guest]

You might want to check to see if other churches in the area have

special needs classes for the kids. They're usually more sensitive to

this kind of thing, and the workers are usually more committed.

Theresa Mesa

Mesa Design House

http://mesadesignhouse.com

909-335-9710

Hours: By appointment only

On Jan 7, 2007, at 1:43 PM, crazemome wrote:

> I need help concerning our church?

>

> Just a little background first ... I was raised in a Baptist Church

> and my DH of 10 years was raised Catholic. Our oldest son (7) that

> does not have issues with AS as my 4yr old does attends my DH's prior

> Catholic School (its a family tradition on his side). Since we have

> been married we would attend a Catholic Church as a family but I

> would take the kids with me when my hubby wasnt attending to a

> Baptist church. I told him I would convert if he would commit to

> going more often. He hunts alot and is hardly home on weekends.

> Well this past summer I started attending a local church with my

> mom,sister and the kids on a somewhat regular basis. I joined this

> church because my oldest loved going. But the problem I am having is

> this...

>

> They rotate the workers in the nusery sunday school and all junior

> worship, etc on a weekly basis so everyone has a chance to attend Big

> church (as we call it). I even signed up to work one of those weeks

> but progressively Jack has refused to go to the nursery (its up to

> age 4 then they go to Jr worship) unless I am there that week and

> wants to go with me to big church. When He is in big church with me

> I can't listen to the message because I am taking care of him and

> usually have to leave before its over. I honestly believe it is

> because we never know who will be there as his teacher and it freaks

> him out. We have tried seeing if he would stay home with hubby but he

> refused that but it also defeats the purpose of me wanting my kids to

> grow up in church as I did. I thought maybe discussing this with the

> pastor but my hubby thinks I am over reacting. I think he just

> doesnt want everyone to know our son has a problem. That itself is

> another isssue but first I want to make sure my kids are in church.

> I need the church too.

>

> Should I start to visit other churches in the area to see how their

> sunday school program is for young ones or try talking to my pastor?

> I am really lost on this and would appreciate any advise. There is a

> local support group that meets at the end of the month and I am

> hoping that I can finally attend and get some answers locally on

> this. Sorry if this sounds kinda scattered but I have been trying to

> type this for over an hour because of the interuptions of kids. Jack

> has been in quite a mood today and is requiring constant attention.

>

[Guest guest]

I am a kids church coordinator at our church. We all need God, and I have found hope, and peace with him, so please don't give up. I will pray for you and your family. At our church, we rotate volunteers as well. I don't know much about your family, but is your son high-functioning enough to learn the names on the calendar? As a transition warning? I talked with our Pastor when we joined, and everyone involved in youth ministry. It is not a big deal, it is connectiong your son with God. It has been my experience that if it is intended for your family to be at this church, HE will make that clear to you. If not, whenever he closes a door, he opens a window. God bless your family, let me know if I can help in any other way,CrystalTheresa Mesa <clanmesa@...> wrote: You might want to check to see if other churches in the area have special needs classes for the kids. They're usually more sensitive to this kind of thing, and the workers are usually more committed. Theresa Mesa Mesa Design House http://mesadesignhouse.com 909-335-9710 Hours: By appointment only On Jan 7, 2007, at 1:43 PM, crazemome wrote: > I need help concerning our church? > > Just a little background first ... I was raised in a Baptist Church > and my DH of 10 years was raised Catholic. Our oldest son (7) that > does

not have issues with AS as my 4yr old does attends my DH's prior > Catholic School (its a family tradition on his side). Since we have > been married we would attend a Catholic Church as a family but I > would take the kids with me when my hubby wasnt attending to a > Baptist church. I told him I would convert if he would commit to > going more often. He hunts alot and is hardly home on weekends. > Well this past summer I started attending a local church with my > mom,sister and the kids on a somewhat regular basis. I joined this > church because my oldest loved going. But the problem I am having is > this... > > They rotate the workers in the nusery sunday school and all junior > worship, etc on a weekly basis so everyone has a chance to attend Big > church (as we call it). I even signed up to work one of those weeks > but progressively Jack has refused to go to the nursery

(its up to > age 4 then they go to Jr worship) unless I am there that week and > wants to go with me to big church. When He is in big church with me > I can't listen to the message because I am taking care of him and > usually have to leave before its over. I honestly believe it is > because we never know who will be there as his teacher and it freaks > him out. We have tried seeing if he would stay home with hubby but he > refused that but it also defeats the purpose of me wanting my kids to > grow up in church as I did. I thought maybe discussing this with the > pastor but my hubby thinks I am over reacting. I think he just > doesnt want everyone to know our son has a problem. That itself is > another isssue but first I want to make sure my kids are in church. > I need the church too. > > Should I start to visit other churches in the area to see how their > sunday

school program is for young ones or try talking to my pastor? > I am really lost on this and would appreciate any advise. There is a > local support group that meets at the end of the month and I am > hoping that I can finally attend and get some answers locally on > this. Sorry if this sounds kinda scattered but I have been trying to > type this for over an hour because of the interuptions of kids. Jack > has been in quite a mood today and is requiring constant attention. > __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I would talk to your pastor about it. Not sure what he would be able to do about it, maybe he could give you a list of the workers in the Sunday School and when they work and then you could prepare your child in advance, letting him know who would be in Sunday School each week. (That's the way our Sunday School works, we have a schedule of who works when)

When was first diagnosed, I spoke with our minister about it and found out he has a friend with a son with aspergers. They had just visited and our minister was learning all about it. He contacted his friend and found out lots of information for us. You never know, maybe your pastor knows more about AS than you think! And hopefully, if nothing else, he'll be a sympathetic listener and can come up with a solution.

If all that fails, then you can always look for another church.

Good luck and God bless!

Estevan, Saskatchewan

Canada

-- Church Issues Please Advise

I need help concerning our church? Just a little background first ... I was raised in a Baptist Church and my DH of 10 years was raised Catholic. Our oldest son (7) that does not have issues with AS as my 4yr old does attends my DH's prior Catholic School (its a family tradition on his side). Since we have been married we would attend a Catholic Church as a family but I would take the kids with me when my hubby wasnt attending to a Baptist church. I told him I would convert if he would commit to going more often. He hunts alot and is hardly home on weekends. Well this past summer I started attending a local church with my mom,sister and the kids on a somewhat regular basis. I joined this church because my oldest loved going. But the problem I am having is this...They rotate the workers in the nusery sunday school and all junior worship, etc on a weekly basis so everyone has a chance to attend Big church (as we call it). I even signed up to work one of those weeks but progressively Jack has refused to go to the nursery (its up to age 4 then they go to Jr worship) unless I am there that week and wants to go with me to big church. When He is in big church with me I can't listen to the message because I am taking care of him and usually have to leave before its over. I honestly believe it is because we never know who will be there as his teacher and it freaks him out. We have tried seeing if he would stay home with hubby but he refused that but it also defeats the purpose of me wanting my kids to grow up in church as I did. I thought maybe discussing this with the pastor but my hubby thinks I am over reacting. I think he just doesnt want everyone to know our son has a problem. That itself is another isssue but first I want to make sure my kids are in church. I need the church too. Should I start to visit other churches in the area to see how their sunday school program is for young ones or try talking to my pastor? I am really lost on this and would appreciate any advise. There is a local support group that meets at the end of the month and I am hoping that I can finally attend and get some answers locally on this. Sorry if this sounds kinda scattered but I have been trying to type this for over an hour because of the interuptions of kids. Jack has been in quite a mood today and is requiring constant attention. Thanks Trisha

[Guest guest]

Is there a possibility that you could start a ministry for AS kids? I have a similar situation, with two spectrum kids, and we attend Chabad Poway which is a Jewish Temple instead of the Baptist Church because of Friendship Circle San Diego - http://www.friendshipcirclesd.com/. It would truly be heartening to hear of a Non-Jewish Religious Organization taking interest in our children! If you have a pastor or such that has a tender heart or feels a burden for our kids - perhaps your church could start this? Theresa Mesa <clanmesa@...> wrote: You might want to check to see if other churches in the area have special needs classes for the kids. They're usually more sensitive to this kind of thing, and the workers are usually more committed.Theresa MesaMesa Design Househttp://mesadesignhouse.com909-335-9710Hours: By appointment onlyOn Jan 7, 2007, at 1:43 PM, crazemome wrote:> I need help concerning our church?>> Just a little background first ... I was raised in a Baptist Church> and my DH of 10 years was raised Catholic. Our oldest son (7) that> does not have issues with AS as my 4yr old does attends my DH's prior> Catholic School (its a family tradition on his side). Since we have> been

married we would attend a Catholic Church as a family but I> would take the kids with me when my hubby wasnt attending to a> Baptist church. I told him I would convert if he would commit to> going more often. He hunts alot and is hardly home on weekends.> Well this past summer I started attending a local church with my> mom,sister and the kids on a somewhat regular basis. I joined this> church because my oldest loved going. But the problem I am having is> this...>> They rotate the workers in the nusery sunday school and all junior> worship, etc on a weekly basis so everyone has a chance to attend Big> church (as we call it). I even signed up to work one of those weeks> but progressively Jack has refused to go to the nursery (its up to> age 4 then they go to Jr worship) unless I am there that week and> wants to go with me to big church. When He is in big church with me>

I can't listen to the message because I am taking care of him and> usually have to leave before its over. I honestly believe it is> because we never know who will be there as his teacher and it freaks> him out. We have tried seeing if he would stay home with hubby but he> refused that but it also defeats the purpose of me wanting my kids to> grow up in church as I did. I thought maybe discussing this with the> pastor but my hubby thinks I am over reacting. I think he just> doesnt want everyone to know our son has a problem. That itself is> another isssue but first I want to make sure my kids are in church.> I need the church too.>> Should I start to visit other churches in the area to see how their> sunday school program is for young ones or try talking to my pastor?> I am really lost on this and would appreciate any advise. There is a> local support group that meets at the

end of the month and I am> hoping that I can finally attend and get some answers locally on> this. Sorry if this sounds kinda scattered but I have been trying to> type this for over an hour because of the interuptions of kids. Jack> has been in quite a mood today and is requiring constant attention.>______________________________________________________________ "I want to be part of the solution. Not part of the agonizing, grinding, boring complacent problem..." Henry Rollins; From "I hate U2" __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Is there a possibility that you could start a ministry for AS kids? I have a similar situation, with two spectrum kids, and we attend Chabad Poway which is a Jewish Temple instead of the Baptist Church because of Friendship Circle San Diego - http://www.friendshipcirclesd.com/. It would truly be heartening to hear of a Non-Jewish Religious Organization taking interest in our children! If you have a pastor or such that has a tender heart or feels a burden for our kids - perhaps your church could start this? Theresa Mesa <clanmesa@...> wrote: You might want to check to see if other churches in the area have special needs classes for the kids. They're usually more sensitive to this kind of thing, and the workers are usually more committed.Theresa MesaMesa Design Househttp://mesadesignhouse.com909-335-9710Hours: By appointment onlyOn Jan 7, 2007, at 1:43 PM, crazemome wrote:> I need help concerning our church?>> Just a little background first ... I was raised in a Baptist Church> and my DH of 10 years was raised Catholic. Our oldest son (7) that> does not have issues with AS as my 4yr old does attends my DH's prior> Catholic School (its a family tradition on his side). Since we have> been

married we would attend a Catholic Church as a family but I> would take the kids with me when my hubby wasnt attending to a> Baptist church. I told him I would convert if he would commit to> going more often. He hunts alot and is hardly home on weekends.> Well this past summer I started attending a local church with my> mom,sister and the kids on a somewhat regular basis. I joined this> church because my oldest loved going. But the problem I am having is> this...>> They rotate the workers in the nusery sunday school and all junior> worship, etc on a weekly basis so everyone has a chance to attend Big> church (as we call it). I even signed up to work one of those weeks> but progressively Jack has refused to go to the nursery (its up to> age 4 then they go to Jr worship) unless I am there that week and> wants to go with me to big church. When He is in big church with me>

I can't listen to the message because I am taking care of him and> usually have to leave before its over. I honestly believe it is> because we never know who will be there as his teacher and it freaks> him out. We have tried seeing if he would stay home with hubby but he> refused that but it also defeats the purpose of me wanting my kids to> grow up in church as I did. I thought maybe discussing this with the> pastor but my hubby thinks I am over reacting. I think he just> doesnt want everyone to know our son has a problem. That itself is> another isssue but first I want to make sure my kids are in church.> I need the church too.>> Should I start to visit other churches in the area to see how their> sunday school program is for young ones or try talking to my pastor?> I am really lost on this and would appreciate any advise. There is a> local support group that meets at the

end of the month and I am> hoping that I can finally attend and get some answers locally on> this. Sorry if this sounds kinda scattered but I have been trying to> type this for over an hour because of the interuptions of kids. Jack> has been in quite a mood today and is requiring constant attention.>______________________________________________________________ "I want to be part of the solution. Not part of the agonizing, grinding, boring complacent problem..." Henry Rollins; From "I hate U2" __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

well with my church they got to sunday school with thier reg teacher then to the nursery which does alternate.if u want to keep him in the service with you .we have doen a few defifferent things at our church .1 .they made up quiet bags with toys and books crayons and color pages/books all to be doen quietly in the pew .2 the teacher of the school part would set up a 3 part sticker chart 1st part the opening of the service 2 the sermon 3 the communion and each part they earn a sticker which our then rewarded if get all with a treat .now my church did this mainly atfirst for my kids and one other child suz they are to big for nursery (at the time they wer 10 and 8 the rest were like 1 and 2 ) so this was doen to sit out in the church like big kids. the other thing and this is mainly cuz she volunteered to do it my sons teacher is a teacher in an autistic classroom she takes my one son for a walk and calms him down and tells him how

to sit and that for service that also helps .the last thing and this can be done for all is our church ran a set up in the curch sanctuary into the nursery where it would be brodcasted to the nursery so those in it can listen to the sermon and when it was commuinion coem out for communion .that way no one misses out on the sermon .if u want ur son in church go for it try what ever u can think of it is a help for u an dhim,those are a couple ideas.another thing that can also happen the one girl her mom is in the chior and cant sit with her child so they get another older person to sit with her to make sure she doesnt wander or anything .i hope this helps in any way.i would also get the daddy involved i went through it with my x he wouldnt help me at church wouldnt even attend he told me it was to hard to handle 4 kids at chruch so he left me do it alone instead of helping me .what ever relgion it is doesnt matter as long as what u r needing

is met and that is a closer relationship with god right so find one that suits u and ur family and if they dont have anything for special needs in place make them most churches are looking for ways to getmore kidson have the youth in the church plan it out with you to get the children and adults all getting the sermon good luck

Church Issues Please Advise

I need help concerning our church? Just a little background first ... I was raised in a Baptist Church and my DH of 10 years was raised Catholic. Our oldest son (7) that does not have issues with AS as my 4yr old does attends my DH's prior Catholic School (its a family tradition on his side). Since we have been married we would attend a Catholic Church as a family but I would take the kids with me when my hubby wasnt attending to a Baptist church. I told him I would convert if he would commit to going more often. He hunts alot and is hardly home on weekends. Well this past summer I started attending a local church with my mom,sister and the kids on a somewhat regular basis. I joined this church because my oldest loved going. But the problem I am having is this...They rotate the workers in the nusery sunday school and all junior worship, etc on a weekly basis so everyone has a chance to attend Big church

(as we call it). I even signed up to work one of those weeks but progressively Jack has refused to go to the nursery (its up to age 4 then they go to Jr worship) unless I am there that week and wants to go with me to big church. When He is in big church with me I can't listen to the message because I am taking care of him and usually have to leave before its over. I honestly believe it is because we never know who will be there as his teacher and it freaks him out. We have tried seeing if he would stay home with hubby but he refused that but it also defeats the purpose of me wanting my kids to grow up in church as I did. I thought maybe discussing this with the pastor but my hubby thinks I am over reacting. I think he just doesnt want everyone to know our son has a problem. That itself is another isssue but first I want to make sure my kids are in church. I need the church too. Should I start to visit other

churches in the area to see how their sunday school program is for young ones or try talking to my pastor? I am really lost on this and would appreciate any advise. There is a local support group that meets at the end of the month and I am hoping that I can finally attend and get some answers locally on this. Sorry if this sounds kinda scattered but I have been trying to type this for over an hour because of the interuptions of kids. Jack has been in quite a mood today and is requiring constant attention. Thanks Trisha__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Trisha,

I thought I was in one of my other groups when I started reading this. This is a church issue and we don't discuss them much here, but in my other group your letter would be welcome. In fact I think I read one pretty close to it just the other day.

If you are interested in joining, it is, Christian_Family_and_Home

You have to put the lines like that, no space after Home but I did it that way so it did not underline the whole thing in blue and then you couldn't see the little lines between the words, very important.

Anyway your problem is interesting, with me when my son was little he had to stay with me, nobody wanted him in any day care setting, not at church, or at the bowling alley, etc. I think they were mostly concerned about the other kids, as he did not respect their space, touching them, pushing them, taking stuff away from them, etc.

I have gone to church for over 30 years now and God keeps me going when all else fails, without Him in my life I wouldn't even be here I don't think..

Carolyn

Church Issues Please Advise

I need help concerning our church? Just a little background first ... I was raised in a Baptist Church and my DH of 10 years was raised Catholic. Our oldest son (7) that does not have issues with AS as my 4yr old does attends my DH's prior Catholic School (its a family tradition on his side). Since we have been married we would attend a Catholic Church as a family but I would take the kids with me when my hubby wasnt attending to a Baptist church. I told him I would convert if he would commit to going more often. He hunts alot and is hardly home on weekends. Well this past summer I started attending a local church with my mom,sister and the kids on a somewhat regular basis. I joined this church because my oldest loved going. But the problem I am having is this...They rotate the workers in the nusery sunday school and all junior worship, etc on a weekly basis so everyone has a chance to attend Big church (as we call it). I even signed up to work one of those weeks but progressively Jack has refused to go to the nursery (its up to age 4 then they go to Jr worship) unless I am there that week and wants to go with me to big church. When He is in big church with me I can't listen to the message because I am taking care of him and usually have to leave before its over. I honestly believe it is because we never know who will be there as his teacher and it freaks him out. We have tried seeing if he would stay home with hubby but he refused that but it also defeats the purpose of me wanting my kids to grow up in church as I did. I thought maybe discussing this with the pastor but my hubby thinks I am over reacting. I think he just doesnt want everyone to know our son has a problem. That itself is another isssue but first I want to make sure my kids are in church. I need the church too. Should I start to visit other churches in the area to see how their sunday school program is for young ones or try talking to my pastor? I am really lost on this and would appreciate any advise. There is a local support group that meets at the end of the month and I am hoping that I can finally attend and get some answers locally on this. Sorry if this sounds kinda scattered but I have been trying to type this for over an hour because of the interuptions of kids. Jack has been in quite a mood today and is requiring constant attention. Thanks Trisha

[Guest guest]

Dear Trisha,

Have you asked to see if the church has a cry room? Sometimes I have to use ours at church. Zachary is 4 and likes to go to "big church" also. Something else you might want to think about is taking some quite toys with you so he can play with them during church. Maybe some snacks, colors , books, or a specail stuffed animal.

Hope that some of this might be helpful to you.

May God Bless You and Keep You All,

,OKC,OK>> I need help concerning our church? > > Just a little background first ... I was raised in a Baptist Church > and my DH of 10 years was raised Catholic. Our oldest son (7) that > does not have issues with AS as my 4yr old does attends my DH's prior > Catholic School (its a family tradition on his side). Since we have > been married we would attend a Catholic Church as a family but I > would take the kids with me when my hubby wasnt attending to a > Baptist church. I told him I would convert if he would commit to > going more often. He hunts alot and is hardly home on weekends. > Well this past summer I started attending a local church with my > mom,sister and the kids on a somewhat regular basis. I joined this > church because my oldest loved going. But the problem I am having is > this...> > They rotate the workers in the nusery sunday school and all junior > worship, etc on a weekly basis so everyone has a chance to attend Big > church (as we call it). I even signed up to work one of those weeks > but progressively Jack has refused to go to the nursery (its up to > age 4 then they go to Jr worship) unless I am there that week and > wants to go with me to big church. When He is in big church with me > I can't listen to the message because I am taking care of him and > usually have to leave before its over. I honestly believe it is > because we never know who will be there as his teacher and it freaks > him out. We have tried seeing if he would stay home with hubby but he > refused that but it also defeats the purpose of me wanting my kids to > grow up in church as I did. I thought maybe discussing this with the > pastor but my hubby thinks I am over reacting. I think he just > doesnt want everyone to know our son has a problem. That itself is > another isssue but first I want to make sure my kids are in church. > I need the church too. > > Should I start to visit other churches in the area to see how their > sunday school program is for young ones or try talking to my pastor? > I am really lost on this and would appreciate any advise. There is a > local support group that meets at the end of the month and I am > hoping that I can finally attend and get some answers locally on > this. Sorry if this sounds kinda scattered but I have been trying to > type this for over an hour because of the interuptions of kids. Jack > has been in quite a mood today and is requiring constant attention. > > Thanks Trisha>