Re: vent- my mom OCD comments

[Guest guest]

Sorry, but I have to laugh. This sounds just like the conversations I have

with my mother!!

My Mom is not diagnosed but I swear she is anxiety/ocd/add and a major

control freak.

She drives me crazy sometimes and often in the same ways that my diagnosed

son does.

You have my sympathies!!

[Guest guest]

Hi , I know how tough it is when people say these type things

(my mom too) and I didn't take it well at the time, but I actually

smiled a bit at your post - the Star Wars and the " should have gone

to school " parts. Ha! Sigh, count yourself blessed you are not so

ignorant.

I guess with mom in the future you can just say " we're all fine,

doing great, how are YOU? " and then just have something to occupy

your time while she talks (flip the TV channels, do your nails...).

I can look at my mom and see where at least part of the " genetics "

came from. I used to think she has OCD but after reading more about

OCPD (P=personality), I believe that's what she has. And then myself

and my other 2 sons have OC " tendencies " but luckily never developed

into what has gone through. And went to school from

3 yrs old up to his now senior year so there goes your mom's theory,

LOL!

's OCD is bad tonight he said a little while ago. Bad

thoughts too. You hang in there and grab a bit of time for yourself

tonight or tomorrow. I rented a movie and watched it earlier

tonight.

>

> OMG, I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm just so upset. She

casually asks how things are going, and I tell her it has been rough

with dh out of town and Ben having more bad thoughts. Here is

basically the conversation:

>

> H-Bad thoughts, what do you mean? ---(Are you kidding me, we have

been going through this for months!!!)

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, , all I can do is roll my eyes at your mother.

Luckily both sides of our families are very understanding, but that's

because one grandparent on each side has OCD! UGH! I don't know what's

worse, commiserating because you understand or being ignorant. :-)

I've had all sorts of strange comments too from friends we've told, so

we just stop saying much. It's just easier because we're dealing with

enough at home.

And, having twins just turning 4, what was the Star Wars appropriate age

again? I don't want them to get OCD!

Dina

[Guest guest]

ICAM!!

In a message dated 8/27/2006 3:18:11 AM Eastern Standard Time,

adelem@... writes:

If I have learned one lesson by all this is to be very careful what I say to

other parents and never judge what you don't truly know and understand

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry about your conversation with your mom and friend. I think

truly the hardest part of this is others just not getting it and their

stupid comments. To be honest, if I weren't going through it I wouldn't get

it either. Then I get frustrated because OCD is so complex, it really would

take a hour to describe and communicate to anyone what it truly is. I

haven't told my father yet because I know he wouldn't get it and blame us

somehow for it and I am really worried about what stupid comment he would

make directly to my son. I did have a very detailed conversation about it to

my mom and her response was feeling bad for us but she would make kind of

snod remarks " I never heard of a child afraid to go outside to play, etc "

I was raised if you have a fear or anxiety you just have to get over it.

Unless you go through this you don't understand that for these kids you

don't just get over it and the harder you push to get over it the harder

their anxiety attack becomes.

If I have learned one lesson by all this is to be very careful what I say to

other parents and never judge what you don't truly know and understand.

Hope tomorrow brings a better day. The good news is it seems your husband

understands and supports you. We are struggling with my OCD husband not

totally on board which has been hard.

DP

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Saturday, August 26, 2006 10:30 PM

Subject: vent- my mom OCD comments

OMG, I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm just so upset. She casually

asks how things are going, and I tell her it has been rough with dh out of

town and Ben having more bad thoughts. Here is basically the conversation:

H-Bad thoughts, what do you mean? ---(Are you kidding me, we have been going

through this for months!!!)

M-Bad thoughts, OCD like always. But, its happening more often lately, it

comes and goes somewhat. It's been hard being on my own with this since dh

is out of town. I'm a little stressed out.

H- So, is he going to have bad thought (she even says it snotty) his whole

life.

M Yes probably so. That's how it usually goes. It may lessen but probably

yes, he may have this always on some level.

'

H- Well, I'm not so sure I believehat in tAnother one of those initial

things they love to give kids.

M- Well, we have a diagnosis from a, doctor remember.

H-well they are so ready to give a kid a label. I bet if you sent him to

school it would go away. (we homeschool)

M- So, taking a kid with a lot of anxiety and fears and putting him in an

unfamilar setting will make it better?

H- Well, what's done is done, if he had gone to school 2 years ago, llike a

normal kid, maybe he would be normal.

M-Lots of kids who are homeschool don't have this problem and most kids with

OCD go to school.

H- Well, if you would have sent him 2 years ago, this may not have happened.

M- OCD is genetic or caused by a virus. He got it inspite of our GOOD

parenting, not because of it. You can't blame it on parenting. It was there

waiting to come out. It is usually genetic.

H- Well, we all have bad thoughts, maybe he just needs to be normal. (hmmm,

genetic link???)

M- well, this is not helpful to me, so I'm saying goodbye now.

H- Well, you brought it up. All I did was ask how he was. you mentioned bad

thoughts.

M- And then you commented on it and carried it further.

H- I'm so stressed out and tired from working, I don't need this right now.

(Yes, this was her saying it after I mentioned how rough things were for me)

M- Well, I'd like you to read a little about OCD, because you need to

understand what your grandson is going through, what we are all going

through.

H-yes, in my spare time.

UGGHHH! I'm so upset. So, basically this is all our fault in her opinion.

I'm sure she will next say it was because he was breastfed too long.

And then I called my friend to vent and she says maybe it was because we let

him watch Star Wars when he was 4. OMG Why do people talk right out of their

butts?? thanks for letting me vent. I did mention that I had a support group

on line and she said I read to much on the computer and what did I need a

support group for. HHHMMM. I just don't know. Thank you for letting me vent.

Dh is gone, friends are being jerks and I'm having a really bad night.

J

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/26/2006 10:25:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

lauraj2@... writes:

OMG, I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm just so upset

-

So sorry to hear you have to put up with this type of thing. Sounds like MY

mom. As much as she understands & all, she acts very much the same way in

many situations. Listening to your account of the conversation made me feel

like I was reading a conversation between me & my mom. I think it hurts more

simply because it comes from the very person who SHOULD be there for you &

support & understand you -- not criticize and condemn your actions.

The most bizarre thing about it all - if you confront these 'moms' about

their comments, they will defend themselves to the end... claiming they're only

being " honest with you " and you're being " overly sensitive " . If I only had a

nickel for every time I heard that...... I could afford to live in a hotel &

take my daughter to Duke for treatment... hahahaha

LT

[Guest guest]

I, too, can understand what you are going through. It is so hard. In our

case, I have had to put up with this for at least 15 years. We have four

sons and our oldest is now 18. My third son who is 13 is the one with OCD.

Our family has followed a path that has made family on both sides very

uncomfortable. We had four homebirths, breastfed our children until they

were well into toddler hood, vegetarians, and of course we also homeschool.

Fortunately for my side of the family, they are disapprovingly silent.

However on my husband's side, they are far from silent. They are quite

vocal. Don't despair, there is a happy ending to all this. Now that my

oldest two boys (16 and 18) are self-assured young men who are doing

interesting things and know how to carry conversations with adults, my

husband's mother has changed her tune. The rest haven't because they feel

defensive about how their kids turned out. Time will show your mother even

if she never admits it.

We decided to homeschool because our oldest was so opposed to going to

pre-school that I couldn't imagine he'd be happy in kindergarten. Once we

started on homeschooling path, we never had any desire to turn back. I am

glad now because I imagine the anxiety my third son with the OCD would have

had in school. He is such a perfectionist and strict rule follower, etc that

I think the pressure would have been too high for him had he been in school.

We haven't told anyone other than his brothers about the OCD except for

therapists. I did hint it to my mother-in-law once because the OCD is from

my husband's side of the family. My husband has OCD and his uncle (his

mother's brother) has it (undiagnosed but it is obvious) and possibly even

his mother (but I am not sure). I was looking for guidance on how she coped

with raising my husband. I thought perhaps she could help me with strategies

because my husband is doing fairly well with it and never went to therapy.

She was so unhelpful and defensive even though I was not attacking her but

seeking for help that I dropped it and will not ever discuss it again with

her.

We all have bad days and trying times dealing with the OCD and I wish I knew

of a support group in my area. This on-line support is great but person to

person contact would be so much better for me.

-

[Guest guest]

Thanks, so much for the support. It was much funnier rereading it today. I don't

know why I expected her to be different. I think she was just waiting to see how

all that strange parenting we did, you know, pick him up when he cries,

co-sleeping, carried in a sling, extended nursing, gentle discipline and now

homeschooling, how all of that nonsense was going to screw him. And look it did,

she was right. I do remember thinking when he was baby and she was expressing

her opinion, " you just wait and see, we will have a perfect child, we know what

we are doing. The book says so. " Okay, stupid and silly, but I wanted to be

right. KWIM?

I guess that my brother and I turned out so darn perfect, that she really knew

what was best. Hmmm, not!

And I do need to not share with my parents anymore. The everything is fine

approach will be better. Only hard thing is that they seasonally live in

Florida, soon, and we will be visiting them. Heck, they work at Disney, we have

to visit. I did get out of a summer visit by asking her. " Let's say he has a

total meltdown in front of your co-workers and friends, how will you feel? Can

you handle that? " ' She works at a campground in the summer, they are full time

RVers. She said " would he do that? " Yes. " well, then maybe it's better if you

don't " . Good answer

Friends saying insensitive things, that is tougher, I chose these people, I

didn't chose my parents. My friend also said, for the second time, " have you

tried just ignoring him when he says these things. Don't reinforce it and maybe

he will stop. He is getting for it, maybe that's why he is doing it. " Hmmm, if

I ignore you when you say these stupid & insensitive remarks, will you stop

saying them?

..

J

[Guest guest]

Wow , I am so sorry you are not getting any support. I am glad you KNOW

that none of what they said it true. Ugh! That is too bad. I think you

handled it well with your mom.

Sharon

vent- my mom OCD comments

OMG, I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm just so upset. She casually

asks how things are going, and I tell her it has been rough with dh out of town

and Ben having more bad thoughts. Here is basically the conversation:

H-Bad thoughts, what do you mean? ---(Are you kidding me, we have been going

through this for months!!!)

M-Bad thoughts, OCD like always. But, its happening more often lately, it

comes and goes somewhat. It's been hard being on my own with this since dh is

out of town. I'm a little stressed out.

H- So, is he going to have bad thought (she even says it snotty) his whole

life.

M Yes probably so. That's how it usually goes. It may lessen but probably yes,

he may have this always on some level.

'

H- Well, I'm not so sure I believehat in tAnother one of those initial things

they love to give kids.

M- Well, we have a diagnosis from a, doctor remember.

H-well they are so ready to give a kid a label. I bet if you sent him to

school it would go away. (we homeschool)

M- So, taking a kid with a lot of anxiety and fears and putting him in an

unfamilar setting will make it better?

H- Well, what's done is done, if he had gone to school 2 years ago, llike a

normal kid, maybe he would be normal.

M-Lots of kids who are homeschool don't have this problem and most kids with

OCD go to school.

H- Well, if you would have sent him 2 years ago, this may not have happened.

M- OCD is genetic or caused by a virus. He got it inspite of our GOOD

parenting, not because of it. You can't blame it on parenting. It was there

waiting to come out. It is usually genetic.

H- Well, we all have bad thoughts, maybe he just needs to be normal. (hmmm,

genetic link???)

M- well, this is not helpful to me, so I'm saying goodbye now.

H- Well, you brought it up. All I did was ask how he was. you mentioned bad

thoughts.

M- And then you commented on it and carried it further.

H- I'm so stressed out and tired from working, I don't need this right now.

(Yes, this was her saying it after I mentioned how rough things were for me)

M- Well, I'd like you to read a little about OCD, because you need to

understand what your grandson is going through, what we are all going through.

H-yes, in my spare time.

UGGHHH! I'm so upset. So, basically this is all our fault in her opinion. I'm

sure she will next say it was because he was breastfed too long.

And then I called my friend to vent and she says maybe it was because we let

him watch Star Wars when he was 4. OMG Why do people talk right out of their

butts?? thanks for letting me vent. I did mention that I had a support group on

line and she said I read to much on the computer and what did I need a support

group for. HHHMMM. I just don't know. Thank you for letting me vent. Dh is gone,

friends are being jerks and I'm having a really bad night.

J

[Guest guest]

It's hard when you get no credit for how great they turn out, but all the blame

for what's wrong. Funny, it was the opposite for them, all credit when we did

something great, but it wasn't their fault if we screwed up.

Hey, at least she has found the cure and the cause of OCD.

The psychological community will be most grateful for her study and research.

J

vent- my mom OCD comments

OMG, I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm just so upset. She casually

asks how things are going, and I tell her it has been rough with dh out of town

and Ben having more bad thoughts. Here is basically the conversation:

H-Bad thoughts, what do you mean? ---(Are you kidding me, we have been going

through this for months!!!)

M-Bad thoughts, OCD like always. But, its happening more often lately, it

comes and goes somewhat. It's been hard being on my own with this since dh is

out of town. I'm a little stressed out.

H- So, is he going to have bad thought (she even says it snotty) his whole

life.

M Yes probably so. That's how it usually goes. It may lessen but probably yes,

he may have this always on some level.

'

H- Well, I'm not so sure I believehat in tAnother one of those initial things

they love to give kids.

M- Well, we have a diagnosis from a, doctor remember.

H-well they are so ready to give a kid a label. I bet if you sent him to

school it would go away. (we homeschool)

M- So, taking a kid with a lot of anxiety and fears and putting him in an

unfamilar setting will make it better?

H- Well, what's done is done, if he had gone to school 2 years ago, llike a

normal kid, maybe he would be normal.

M-Lots of kids who are homeschool don't have this problem and most kids with

OCD go to school.

H- Well, if you would have sent him 2 years ago, this may not have happened.

M- OCD is genetic or caused by a virus. He got it inspite of our GOOD

parenting, not because of it. You can't blame it on parenting. It was there

waiting to come out. It is usually genetic.

H- Well, we all have bad thoughts, maybe he just needs to be normal. (hmmm,

genetic link???)

M- well, this is not helpful to me, so I'm saying goodbye now.

H- Well, you brought it up. All I did was ask how he was. you mentioned bad

thoughts.

M- And then you commented on it and carried it further.

H- I'm so stressed out and tired from working, I don't need this right now.

(Yes, this was her saying it after I mentioned how rough things were for me)

M- Well, I'd like you to read a little about OCD, because you need to

understand what your grandson is going through, what we are all going through.

H-yes, in my spare time.

UGGHHH! I'm so upset. So, basically this is all our fault in her opinion. I'm

sure she will next say it was because he was breastfed too long.

And then I called my friend to vent and she says maybe it was because we let

him watch Star Wars when he was 4. OMG Why do people talk right out of their

butts?? thanks for letting me vent. I did mention that I had a support group on

line and she said I read to much on the computer and what did I need a support

group for. HHHMMM. I just don't know. Thank you for letting me vent. Dh is gone,

friends are being jerks and I'm having a really bad night.

J

[Guest guest]

I think also what others don't' underand about trying to ignore these

things, is the whole illness is that they get stuck! You can ignore but they

will still be stuck. They can't just move on like others, that is this

disorder. When others have a fear you can brush it off and they move on. The

getting stuck is why it is so impossible to discipline, ignore, shrug it

off. This is also the part that others just truly don't understand.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Sent: Sunday, August 27, 2006 8:10 AM

Subject: Re: vent- my mom OCD comments

, " have you tried just ignoring him when he says these things. Don't

reinforce it and maybe he will stop.>>

J

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/27/2006 2:02:27 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

autumn71A@... writes:

I should have found your mom at disney

Eileen

How did your trip to DW go?? Maybe you posted about it & I missed it. We

just got back yesterday from our trip to DW. Everything went well. I had to

laugh to myself several times -- this was excellent ERP for my dd. Every

time we got off a ride, she would turn to wipe the seat off that she sat in &

naturally there's no time at all for anything like that - they scurry you on &

off so fast. I think it was good for her. We had a meltdowns ourselves

(mostly from the non-OCD family members from long waits in the hot sun while dd

was in the bathroom taking FOREVER.)

All in all, it was a good trip & we had minimal problems with OCD.... THANK

YOU, GOD!!!!!

I hope yours was good too.

LT

[Guest guest]

Your mother sounds so ugly about this that I guess I am wondering if

she is feeling treatened in some way. Maybe she acctually thinks

it's her fault? Weird how people can be so unhelpful when we need

them sometimes.

My family has been very cool about this whole OCD thing but they

just didn't get it. I found this explaination and give it to people

so that they can understand...

OCD is a neurological condition, a biological disease, caused by a

malfunction of some sort in the brain's circuitry. The part of the

brain, right above the eyes, is where worry is registered. Brain

scans show that people with OCD have a lot of activity in this part

of the brain. Somewhere on the top of the brain is the basal

ganglia. It functions as a gate for thoughts. With most people it

opens and closes after each thought is completed. A person has a

thought. They do the action. The thought is gone. In people with

OCD the gate doesn't function right. It kind of stays open a

little. And that's why people with OCD do things over and over.

It's like the brain isn't quite sure that the thought or action was

done or was done right or done enough. So it just keeps thinking

the same thought over and over and the person with OCD keeps doing

the same action over and over. " It's like a hiccup of the mind…

I hope this helps,

-

>

> I think also what others don't' underand about trying to ignore

these

> things, is the whole illness is that they get stuck! You can

ignore but they

> will still be stuck. They can't just move on like others, that is

this

> disorder. When others have a fear you can brush it off and they

move on. The

> getting stuck is why it is so impossible to discipline, ignore,

shrug it

> off. This is also the part that others just truly don't understand.

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

> Sent: Sunday, August 27, 2006 8:10 AM

>

> Subject: Re: vent- my mom OCD comments

>

>

>

> , " have you tried just ignoring him when he says these things.

Don't

> reinforce it and maybe he will stop.>>

> J

>

>

[Guest guest]

- you poor thing - good handling it - well we've returned from

disney - OCD came on vaca with us but had some ok some not ok moments -

and I don't think anyone can relate unless they are in our shoes!!!!

Eileen

Quoting kidsnpets <sdonovan1@...>:

> Wow , I am so sorry you are not getting any support. I am glad

> you KNOW that none of what they said it true. Ugh! That is too bad.

> I think you handled it well with your mom.

> Sharon

> vent- my mom OCD comments

>

>

> OMG, I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm just so upset. She

> casually asks how things are going, and I tell her it has been rough

> with dh out of town and Ben having more bad thoughts. Here is

> basically the conversation:

>

> H-Bad thoughts, what do you mean? ---(Are you kidding me, we have

> been going through this for months!!!)

>

> M-Bad thoughts, OCD like always. But, its happening more often

> lately, it comes and goes somewhat. It's been hard being on my own

> with this since dh is out of town. I'm a little stressed out.

>

> H- So, is he going to have bad thought (she even says it snotty) his

> whole life.

>

> M Yes probably so. That's how it usually goes. It may lessen but

> probably yes, he may have this always on some level.

> '

> H- Well, I'm not so sure I believehat in tAnother one of those

> initial things they love to give kids.

>

> M- Well, we have a diagnosis from a, doctor remember.

>

> H-well they are so ready to give a kid a label. I bet if you sent

> him to school it would go away. (we homeschool)

>

> M- So, taking a kid with a lot of anxiety and fears and putting him

> in an unfamilar setting will make it better?

>

> H- Well, what's done is done, if he had gone to school 2 years ago,

> llike a normal kid, maybe he would be normal.

>

> M-Lots of kids who are homeschool don't have this problem and most

> kids with OCD go to school.

>

> H- Well, if you would have sent him 2 years ago, this may not have happened.

>

> M- OCD is genetic or caused by a virus. He got it inspite of our

> GOOD parenting, not because of it. You can't blame it on parenting.

> It was there waiting to come out. It is usually genetic.

>

> H- Well, we all have bad thoughts, maybe he just needs to be normal.

> (hmmm, genetic link???)

>

> M- well, this is not helpful to me, so I'm saying goodbye now.

>

> H- Well, you brought it up. All I did was ask how he was. you

> mentioned bad thoughts.

>

> M- And then you commented on it and carried it further.

>

> H- I'm so stressed out and tired from working, I don't need this

> right now. (Yes, this was her saying it after I mentioned how rough

> things were for me)

>

> M- Well, I'd like you to read a little about OCD, because you need

> to understand what your grandson is going through, what we are all

> going through.

>

> H-yes, in my spare time.

>

> UGGHHH! I'm so upset. So, basically this is all our fault in her

> opinion. I'm sure she will next say it was because he was breastfed

> too long.

>

> And then I called my friend to vent and she says maybe it was

> because we let him watch Star Wars when he was 4. OMG Why do people

> talk right out of their butts?? thanks for letting me vent. I did

> mention that I had a support group on line and she said I read to

> much on the computer and what did I need a support group for. HHHMMM.

> I just don't know. Thank you for letting me vent. Dh is gone, friends

> are being jerks and I'm having a really bad night.

> J

>

>

[Guest guest]

I should have found your mom at disney - maybe she walked past as my

daughter was melting down??? - LOL!!! again, no one but us will truly

understand - on the other hand - mom died when I was 22 and it's not

worth arguing especially with the older generation - they think what

they think :-)hang in

Eileen

Quoting <lauraj2@...>:

> Thanks, so much for the support. It was much funnier rereading it

> today. I don't know why I expected her to be different. I think she

> was just waiting to see how all that strange parenting we did, you

> know, pick him up when he cries, co-sleeping, carried in a sling,

> extended nursing, gentle discipline and now homeschooling, how all of

> that nonsense was going to screw him. And look it did, she was right.

> I do remember thinking when he was baby and she was expressing her

> opinion, " you just wait and see, we will have a perfect child, we

> know what we are doing. The book says so. " Okay, stupid and silly,

> but I wanted to be right. KWIM?

>

> I guess that my brother and I turned out so darn perfect, that she

> really knew what was best. Hmmm, not!

> And I do need to not share with my parents anymore. The everything is

> fine approach will be better. Only hard thing is that they seasonally

> live in Florida, soon, and we will be visiting them. Heck, they work

> at Disney, we have to visit. I did get out of a summer visit by

> asking her. " Let's say he has a total meltdown in front of your

> co-workers and friends, how will you feel? Can you handle that? " '

> She works at a campground in the summer, they are full time RVers.

> She said " would he do that? " Yes. " well, then maybe it's better if

> you don't " . Good answer

>

> Friends saying insensitive things, that is tougher, I chose these

> people, I didn't chose my parents. My friend also said, for the

> second time, " have you tried just ignoring him when he says these

> things. Don't reinforce it and maybe he will stop. He is getting for

> it, maybe that's why he is doing it. " Hmmm, if I ignore you when you

> say these stupid & insensitive remarks, will you stop saying them?

>

> .

>

> J

>

>

[Guest guest]

I now only discuss Chris's situation with a couple of friends that understand -

my father just does not believe so we don't even go there...... MIL told my son

the doctors were all liars and nothing wrong with him - his dad does not want

to know either.

Take care it is hard Jaxx (New Zealand)

[Guest guest]

Eileen,

Sorry OCD came on your vacation. I totally understand. We went to to Grand

Canyon and it was such a disappointment because of the OCD. When we got back

everyone was did you have a great time? I really felt such a let down from

it all. Here vacation is suppose to be that one time of year where you bond

and have fun together and not much of that happened as hard as we tried to

make it happen.

DP

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of

autumn71A@...

Sent: Sunday, August 27, 2006 1:50 PM

Subject: Re: vent- my mom OCD comments

- you poor thing - good handling it - well we've returned from

disney - OCD came on vaca with us but had some ok some not ok moments -

and I don't think anyone can relate unless they are in our shoes!!!!

Eileen

Quoting kidsnpets <sdonovan1mn (DOT) <mailto:sdonovan1%40mn.rr.com> rr.com>:

> Wow , I am so sorry you are not getting any support. I am glad

> you KNOW that none of what they said it true. Ugh! That is too bad.

> I think you handled it well with your mom.

> Sharon

> vent- my mom OCD comments

>

>

> OMG, I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm just so upset. She

> casually asks how things are going, and I tell her it has been rough

> with dh out of town and Ben having more bad thoughts. Here is

> basically the conversation:

>

> H-Bad thoughts, what do you mean? ---(Are you kidding me, we have

> been going through this for months!!!)

>

> M-Bad thoughts, OCD like always. But, its happening more often

> lately, it comes and goes somewhat. It's been hard being on my own

> with this since dh is out of town. I'm a little stressed out.

>

> H- So, is he going to have bad thought (she even says it snotty) his

> whole life.

>

> M Yes probably so. That's how it usually goes. It may lessen but

> probably yes, he may have this always on some level.

> '

> H- Well, I'm not so sure I believehat in tAnother one of those

> initial things they love to give kids.

>

> M- Well, we have a diagnosis from a, doctor remember.

>

> H-well they are so ready to give a kid a label. I bet if you sent

> him to school it would go away. (we homeschool)

>

> M- So, taking a kid with a lot of anxiety and fears and putting him

> in an unfamilar setting will make it better?

>

> H- Well, what's done is done, if he had gone to school 2 years ago,

> llike a normal kid, maybe he would be normal.

>

> M-Lots of kids who are homeschool don't have this problem and most

> kids with OCD go to school.

>

> H- Well, if you would have sent him 2 years ago, this may not have

happened.

>

> M- OCD is genetic or caused by a virus. He got it inspite of our

> GOOD parenting, not because of it. You can't blame it on parenting.

> It was there waiting to come out. It is usually genetic.

>

> H- Well, we all have bad thoughts, maybe he just needs to be normal.

> (hmmm, genetic link???)

>

> M- well, this is not helpful to me, so I'm saying goodbye now.

>

> H- Well, you brought it up. All I did was ask how he was. you

> mentioned bad thoughts.

>

> M- And then you commented on it and carried it further.

>

> H- I'm so stressed out and tired from working, I don't need this

> right now. (Yes, this was her saying it after I mentioned how rough

> things were for me)

>

> M- Well, I'd like you to read a little about OCD, because you need

> to understand what your grandson is going through, what we are all

> going through.

>

> H-yes, in my spare time.

>

> UGGHHH! I'm so upset. So, basically this is all our fault in her

> opinion. I'm sure she will next say it was because he was breastfed

> too long.

>

> And then I called my friend to vent and she says maybe it was

> because we let him watch Star Wars when he was 4. OMG Why do people

> talk right out of their butts?? thanks for letting me vent. I did

> mention that I had a support group on line and she said I read to

> much on the computer and what did I need a support group for. HHHMMM.

> I just don't know. Thank you for letting me vent. Dh is gone, friends

> are being jerks and I'm having a really bad night.

> J

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

It really is sooo frustrating, isn't it? My parents ignore me and my kids. I'm

so angry about it. My parents are divorced, and my dad never calls or comes

over, even though he lives 4 miles away. He doesn't even visit my daughter when

she needs to be hospitalized.My mom is no better. She'll call once every few

months and listen to me -itch, never offers any help. I can't understand either

of them. Know one understands what a day in our life is like unless they lived

it. The only comment I ever hear from my dad is, " Oh, she'll outgrow it "

I wish!!!!!!

Hang in there!

hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

actually it was a great vacation - tiring as Disney is - and OCD wise -

it was there but most of the time only stuff we'd notice - and not

really getting in the family way - probably more internal torture for

her - which makes you feel so bad - but she did well - thanks :-) -

now to worry about school - she says it doesn't affect her there but

we'll see - new school etc - maybe I'm anticipating problems that won't

be - God-willing!!

Eileen

Quoting Adele Mahan <adelem@...>:

> Eileen,

>

> Sorry OCD came on your vacation. I totally understand. We went to to Grand

> Canyon and it was such a disappointment because of the OCD. When we got back

> everyone was did you have a great time? I really felt such a let down from

> it all. Here vacation is suppose to be that one time of year where you bond

> and have fun together and not much of that happened as hard as we tried to

> make it happen.

>

> DP

>

>

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

> autumn71A@...

> Sent: Sunday, August 27, 2006 1:50 PM

>

> Subject: Re: vent- my mom OCD comments

>

>

>

> - you poor thing - good handling it - well we've returned from

> disney - OCD came on vaca with us but had some ok some not ok moments -

> and I don't think anyone can relate unless they are in our shoes!!!!

> Eileen

>

> Quoting kidsnpets <sdonovan1mn (DOT) <mailto:sdonovan1%40mn.rr.com> rr.com>:

>

>> Wow , I am so sorry you are not getting any support. I am glad

>> you KNOW that none of what they said it true. Ugh! That is too bad.

>> I think you handled it well with your mom.

>> Sharon

>> vent- my mom OCD comments

>>

>>

>> OMG, I just got off the phone with my mom. I'm just so upset. She

>> casually asks how things are going, and I tell her it has been rough

>> with dh out of town and Ben having more bad thoughts. Here is

>> basically the conversation:

>>

>> H-Bad thoughts, what do you mean? ---(Are you kidding me, we have

>> been going through this for months!!!)

>>

>> M-Bad thoughts, OCD like always. But, its happening more often

>> lately, it comes and goes somewhat. It's been hard being on my own

>> with this since dh is out of town. I'm a little stressed out.

>>

>> H- So, is he going to have bad thought (she even says it snotty) his

>> whole life.

>>

>> M Yes probably so. That's how it usually goes. It may lessen but

>> probably yes, he may have this always on some level.

>> '

>> H- Well, I'm not so sure I believehat in tAnother one of those

>> initial things they love to give kids.

>>

>> M- Well, we have a diagnosis from a, doctor remember.

>>

>> H-well they are so ready to give a kid a label. I bet if you sent

>> him to school it would go away. (we homeschool)

>>

>> M- So, taking a kid with a lot of anxiety and fears and putting him

>> in an unfamilar setting will make it better?

>>

>> H- Well, what's done is done, if he had gone to school 2 years ago,

>> llike a normal kid, maybe he would be normal.

>>

>> M-Lots of kids who are homeschool don't have this problem and most

>> kids with OCD go to school.

>>

>> H- Well, if you would have sent him 2 years ago, this may not have

> happened.

>>

>> M- OCD is genetic or caused by a virus. He got it inspite of our

>> GOOD parenting, not because of it. You can't blame it on parenting.

>> It was there waiting to come out. It is usually genetic.

>>

>> H- Well, we all have bad thoughts, maybe he just needs to be normal.

>> (hmmm, genetic link???)

>>

>> M- well, this is not helpful to me, so I'm saying goodbye now.

>>

>> H- Well, you brought it up. All I did was ask how he was. you

>> mentioned bad thoughts.

>>

>> M- And then you commented on it and carried it further.

>>

>> H- I'm so stressed out and tired from working, I don't need this

>> right now. (Yes, this was her saying it after I mentioned how rough

>> things were for me)

>>

>> M- Well, I'd like you to read a little about OCD, because you need

>> to understand what your grandson is going through, what we are all

>> going through.

>>

>> H-yes, in my spare time.

>>

>> UGGHHH! I'm so upset. So, basically this is all our fault in her

>> opinion. I'm sure she will next say it was because he was breastfed

>> too long.

>>

>> And then I called my friend to vent and she says maybe it was

>> because we let him watch Star Wars when he was 4. OMG Why do people

>> talk right out of their butts?? thanks for letting me vent. I did

>> mention that I had a support group on line and she said I read to

>> much on the computer and what did I need a support group for. HHHMMM.

>> I just don't know. Thank you for letting me vent. Dh is gone, friends

>> are being jerks and I'm having a really bad night.

>> J

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

LOL!! I just posted a smidge but had to laugh about the bathroom taking

forever - we had to make her go at least every 6-8 hours - she was

holding it the first few days (or dehyrated from the heat!) but yes

you're right - many times she did better thean other non -OCDers in the

family- but it started taking shorter for the bathroom trips by the end

- never thought of it as exposure but I guess it was good for her too!

take care

Eileen

Quoting jtlt@...:

>

> In a message dated 8/27/2006 2:02:27 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

> autumn71A@... writes:

>

> I should have found your mom at disney

>

>

> Eileen

>

> How did your trip to DW go?? Maybe you posted about it & I missed it. We

> just got back yesterday from our trip to DW. Everything went well.

> I had to

> laugh to myself several times -- this was excellent ERP for my dd. Every

> time we got off a ride, she would turn to wipe the seat off that she

> sat in &

> naturally there's no time at all for anything like that - they

> scurry you on &

> off so fast. I think it was good for her. We had a meltdowns ourselves

> (mostly from the non-OCD family members from long waits in the hot

> sun while dd

> was in the bathroom taking FOREVER.)

>

> All in all, it was a good trip & we had minimal problems with OCD.... THANK

> YOU, GOD!!!!!

> I hope yours was good too.

> LT

>

>

>