Guest guest Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 I feel your concerns, I have the same worries about my son. My therapist has adviced me to go talk with the counselor at school and tell them about my childs OCD. Then ask them to have a plan in place ahead of time if he comes in late or not at all. He also said to talk with my son before school and explain that if he chooses not to go to school that it will be his responsibility to call the school and let them know. He felt like it was very important to have the burden on my son not myself. I don't know if this works but sounds good. Good luck! DP _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of nglcreel Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 11:56 AM Subject: so worried Well Thursday is our kids first day of school and it dosen't look good right now. My daughter was doing fine, no problems acting like all symptoms of anxiety were gone and just as I let myself relax, BAM it comes back. She started worring this morning about school, she is scared that I will get killed, kidnapped or won't be here when she gets home. She dosesn't want to leave me alone. I know this is seperation anxiety but what am I suppose to do?? She says that she can't sit in school all day because she will be worring about me. Her doctor says that the best cure is for her to go to school and see when she comes home that I'm here and it will get easier for her as the days go by. Yeah right, but what about the first day, how do I even get her to go? Last year she had a total meltdown and it took 2 weeks just to get her into school, after that she did fine once she settled into a routine but until then it was very hard. She also has 2 younger brothers going to school with her and she really got them upset also. She is not on any meds because she has really been doing good, but I'm so worried about the first day of school for her. Any advice?? Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 Do they have an aide working with her? It sounds like they need to have someone one on one with her, at least the first few weeks of school. Sharon so worried Well Thursday is our kids first day of school and it dosen't look good right now. My daughter was doing fine, no problems acting like all symptoms of anxiety were gone and just as I let myself relax, BAM it comes back. She started worring this morning about school, she is scared that I will get killed, kidnapped or won't be here when she gets home. She dosesn't want to leave me alone. I know this is seperation anxiety but what am I suppose to do?? She says that she can't sit in school all day because she will be worring about me. Her doctor says that the best cure is for her to go to school and see when she comes home that I'm here and it will get easier for her as the days go by. Yeah right, but what about the first day, how do I even get her to go? Last year she had a total meltdown and it took 2 weeks just to get her into school, after that she did fine once she settled into a routine but until then it was very hard. She also has 2 younger brothers going to school with her and she really got them upset also. She is not on any meds because she has really been doing good, but I'm so worried about the first day of school for her. Any advice?? Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 Ask the principal if she can go to school before it starts to meet her teacher, pick out a desk, ect... It will also help you to develop a relationship with the teacher. Before you take her to the school, spend a week or two taking her by the school grounds for increasing periods of time. Let her play on the gym equipment. Separate from her for longer periods of time (unless school is the only issue) so she gets used to the separation. Then when school starts, see if you can bring her into the classroom before the other kids to acclimate in case she is really upset - this will help her save face. You mught want to consider letting her coming home for lunch and talking to the school about letting her call you once a day for a little while. Perhaps someone besides you can bring her to school - her separating from you will be done before class. Tell her directly, that you cannot come and get her from school - it is her job to go. Praise her for all of her efforts each and every time. If this fails, then you will have to work on a way to gradually increase the amount of time she can spend in school and do work at home. This will have to go through school personnel. The faster you start all of this, the sooner you will know and the quicker you can address it. We employed some of these tactics and it helped. I am getting anxious about school too - I so want it to be a good year. Best wishes, Bonnie > > Do they have an aide working with her? It sounds like they need to have someone one on one with her, at least the first few weeks of school. > Sharon > so worried > > > > Well Thursday is our kids first day of school and it dosen't look good > right now. My daughter was doing fine, no problems acting like all > symptoms of anxiety were gone and just as I let myself relax, BAM it > comes back. > She started worring this morning about school, she is scared that I > will get killed, kidnapped or won't be here when she gets home. She > dosesn't want to leave me alone. I know this is seperation anxiety > but what am I suppose to do?? She says that she can't sit in school > all day because she will be worring about me. Her doctor says that > the best cure is for her to go to school and see when she comes home > that I'm here and it will get easier for her as the days go by. Yeah > right, but what about the first day, how do I even get her to go? Last > year she had a total meltdown and it took 2 weeks just to get her into > school, after that she did fine once she settled into a routine but > until then it was very hard. She also has 2 younger brothers going to > school with her and she really got them upset also. She is not on any > meds because she has really been doing good, but I'm so worried about > the first day of school for her. Any advice?? > > Angie > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 Angie, What has worked for us with K's Separation Anxiety Disorder is to start small and work from there. We started out where I would leave the house and go outside for 2 minutes and come back in. Then 3 minutes, 4 minutes, 5 minutes consecutively. She would get a small treat after each time, like a twizzler bite. This was a child who was in full panic when I would leave the room. Right now, I'm up to going to the edge of the neighborhood in my car for 45 minutes. Sometimes I require her not to have the TV on and just sit and see what " feelings " come up and confront them. She's almost 11 and still has stomach pain every morning before school and occasionally vomits from anxiety. She loves school, which is a plus. Good luck, I KNOW it is hard. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2006 Report Share Posted August 8, 2006 My daughter would cry at school because she missed me. I got an inexpensive picture fram and put a photo of her and me in it. I asked her teacher to let her take the photo out of her desk to look at when she missed me, as long as it didn't interfere with her schoolwork. This worked well, and the separation anxiety gradually went away. Dorraine --- nglcreel <nglcreel@...> wrote: > > Well Thursday is our kids first day of school and it > dosen't look good > right now. My daughter was doing fine, no problems > acting like all > symptoms of anxiety were gone and just as I let > myself relax, BAM it > comes back. > She started worring this morning about school, she > is scared that I > will get killed, kidnapped or won't be here when she > gets home. She > dosesn't want to leave me alone. I know this is > seperation anxiety > but what am I suppose to do?? She says that she > can't sit in school > all day because she will be worring about me. > Angie > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Hi, Angie. I have two daughters with OCD. was seven when she was diagnosed but showed symptoms for a long time before that. Hannah was eleven when she was diagnosed and they are thirteen and fifteen now. has always had separation issues. She even cried as a newborn when someone other than me held her. My mom and husband were reluctant babysitters and would hone stly cry the entire time I was gone. I remember driving up to the house one day when she was four and not hearing any screaming or crying and my first thought was that my husband had finally done her in! When started school, she was very shy and scared. Kindergarten and first grade were tense but she did okay. She showed many signs of anxiety but kindergarten was short (2 1/2 hours) and she knew the first grade teachers well since her sister had been in the same class. The teachers were beyond kind and patient and helped her with bathroom trips and things like that. In second grade, broke her arm in November and this triggered an OCD episode that got her diagnosed. started taking medication and going to therapy but was terrified all the time. She was afraid her lunch was poisoned and she was afraid to be at school. With the permission of her doctors and the school, I started going with her to class. This was very unusual but it worked for us. I helped in the classroom by making copies, correcting spelling tests, and reading with other kids and was content to have me near her. She was required by her teacher and by me to go outside with the other kids without me and she never tried to pit the teacher and I against each other. By the time third grade came around, 's meds and therapy had kicked in and I never went into her classroom because I didn't want her to think I needed to be there. She was in a friend's class and was again very well taken care of. Over the years, we developed a nice network of people at the school who knew all about and her issues and I found that at the times didn't want to separate from me, she would usually go with one of these wonderful people. We were all very matter of fact about her need to be in school and that the feeling of anxiety had would go away once she was there. It was a non-negotiable thing for us and with the network we formed, did okay. She would often say that she was glad we made her go. Is there a reward system you can use to help your daughter to get out the door? A really cool prize of some kind? Are there people at school who can back you up? One time, when was in sixth grade, a new school nurse let her call home because was upset and wanted to leave. I happen to be working at her school (I'm a sub there) and when the principal walked by and heard what was going on, he said to , " Boy, you'd better check with your mom because I don't think she'll want you going home " and the two of them tracked me down and stayed. He told her later what a great job she did. I was surprised at how quickly 's anxiety intensified when the school nurse let her call home. It was proof to that she had a reason to be upset. I don't know if I have said anything to you that will help your situation. goes to school every day now and we have very few problems with it. It can get better. Good luck! Kelley in NV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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